Why? Oh why did this have to happen to ME? –part 26

Authors note: okay, after looking over what one reviewer said I realized that they were absolutely right. I did promise that this would be a lot longer than the last. As a form of an apology I have re-written this and will have part 27 up as well.

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"As long as we're together nothing else matters…nothing." – Remus L.

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"Lilly…" please just this once look my way.

"What do you want Potter? Did you come to make fun of me again? Or are you here to pick on Sirius?" She didn't notice the way he flinched as she stood in front of Snape.

"No…" He wants to tell her but he can't. The words can't leave his mouth because she has always been too great for him to fathom of a world where she would love him back. She's too good for you his conscience tells him. She's a flight risk; she won't stay especially for someone like you.

"Then why are you here?" She wonders why he continues to make her life miserable. Why does he continue to plague my mind day and night? I shouldn't care, I shouldn't wonder, I shouldn't be falling in love with him…but I am.

"I just…" tell her, just tell her. Its only there words, "thought you should know that I'll be participating." You coward!

"Oh…" I should have expected that. Why should I expect anything different? She thinks. "I don't see how that has anything to do with me. I don't care Potter. If that's it do you mind leaving us." I don't care. I don't care. I won't continue to fall for your charm Potter. It's just a little girl's crush it will go away…it will go away…

"I just thought you should know that I won't have time to "ruin" your life as you put it." I'll stop. I'll stop caring. I'll forget. I'll make myself forget how you make me feel.

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"Fine…if that's how you feel. Then okay," she said with eyes cast down.

"Okay?" he echoed. Not really believing what he heard.

"Yes, Sirius…okay I give up," she sounded resigned by her simple admission.

"Okay…then?"

He wanted to flinch at his own memory. He would die before he ever told anyone but he had been upset for some reason. He was upset with himself, with the situation and with him.

He glared daggers at a guy from Durmstrang took Elizabeth's hand and led her to the dance floor.

He's touching her! He's touching my fiancée! He screamed into his mind. Forget the fact that he was the one that said no to her invitation and forget the fact that he has always denied the fact about their contract. That's not the point!

He couldn't help but watch her every movement. His eyes followed her on their own accord. He watched her smile and laugh as his fist clenched. He had to fight every fiber of his being as he watched his slimy hands move to caress her exposed shoulder.

"Sirius is everything alright?" a voice from beside him said. He blinked twice as though her were coming out of a trance. His eyes moved in the direction of the voice to find a beautiful brunet stare back.

The wheels inside his mind moved slowly into place reminding him why she was here talking to him.

Oh, that's right it's Hailey. He had forgotten that not much long ago he had agreed to go with Hailey only because he had heard that she was going with that brat from Durmstrang.

I don't care, he would continue to tell himself.

"Nothing," his tone of voice made it clear that he didn't want any further discussion on the topic.

"Okay…well do you want to dance?" she asked unsure of what to do. She wasn't used to this version of Sirius. He was always the one to take the lead and now he was just…this.

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What followed after was simply a bur. He recalled music, laughter and her voice as she danced with someone that wasn't him. He didn't know why or what motivated him to do what he did but he did. He kissed Hailey; he kissed someone that wasn't her. It wasn't because he wanted her or because he felt something for this girl but because he wanted-needed something to take his mind away from them. The happy vibe they gave off set it him off. It made bile rise up in his throat.

The next thing he saw was a pair of eyes that didn't belong to her. His hands were touching, pinching and grouping without caring if it hurt her. The girl eagerly joined him in this exotic dance. She touched, nipped and caressed him in places that shouldn't be seen by the public eye. He kissed her roughly in a futile attempt to regain something that he had lost along the way.

Everything was becoming a blur. His body felt hot and numb at the same time. He could feel this desperation in the pit of his stomach that he could not control. The music was nothing more than a low hum at the back of his mind. He found no satisfaction in making this girl whimper and swoon at his actions.

"Sirius," came a whisper.

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Let me be yours

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Please just let me be yours if only…

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If only for a moment.

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She was mad. Mad that he couldn't see what she saw. Was it so difficult for him to see that they belonged together? Why couldn't Sirius just see that they fit together? Why did he have to be so stubborn and say no? Fine, if he wanted things this way then…fine.

It didn't matter, somehow she couldn't help but feel wrong about saying those words out loud.

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Why did she say yes? Oh, that's right because he didn't believe her. She would show him that she was not a liar. She would do this just to show him.

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She couldn't help but admit that this Greg guy wasn't so bad. He was intelligent, cordial, charming, and everything that she should want in a match but…he wasn't-isn't Sirius. No, as much as this Greg guy may seem perfect there was only one person who could complement her in every way. There is only Sirius.

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Why? I shouldn't be upset I should have expected this. She smiled; she smiled her fake smile as she continued to dance with someone that wasn't her fiancée. She smiled because it hurt too much to do anything else. She laughed because it was expected of her.

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"Sirius," she gasped both surprised and hurt. Why? Why are you doing this? Why won't you say something?

She shut her eyes because it hurt too to watch him caress that girls face. It should be her that he caressed not this girl. It should be her that he kisses. Why? Why did I ever fall in love with someone like you?

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I am not your puppet.

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I won't let you hurt me.

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At some point between the kissing and the pulling his mind had drifted off. He remembered it being a windy day so long ago…

His parents were screaming again. Not at each other but at him. They couldn't understand why they had a son who refused to study dark magic and wasted his time on playing ridiculous pranks. They just couldn't understand that he was nothing like them. He would never be anything like them.

"They're here you better behave yourself," his mother threatened.

He wanted to roll his eyes but he was tired. Tired of the yelling and the pain, he was tired of getting punished for being different.

"Sirius come down there is someone you need to meet," his mother called from downstairs.

He took his time climbing down the steps. He could hear the clatter of teacups and voices. They weren't the usual voices of his cousins thus he couldn't help but become curious.

The first thing he noticed was the bright blonde color of her hair. She looked like a doll as she sat their obediently. He almost snorted in disgust at her actions and he would have had his mother's next words not make him freeze were he stood.

"Sirius, this is your fiancée Elizabeth," she spoke as though she were merely conversing about the color of her dress.

"No," he was surprised by his own words that he hadn't realized he had spoken.

"We apologize. My son spoke out of turn. I assure he does not do this normally. He has been feeling under the weather you see." His mother explained. He would have rolled his eyes had he not been busy trying to find an escape route.

"hm," said the man, accepting his mother's explanation easily.

"Kiss me," Hailey whispered.

He gave a bruising kiss before his mind drifted off once more.

"Hi, I'm Elizabeth your fiancée," she introduced herself.

"Don't say that," he all but spat.

"You're weird," she tilted her head to the side as she said this.

He was used to being called weird. He could already tell that he would hate this girl.

"I like that," she said at last.

"Touch me Sirius. Show me what it's like to be with someone like you,"

He kissed her and touched her in the only way he knew how to. In the way he was expected to. To act cold, callously without love simply lust.

"Why do you continue to try? You know it will never work. You might as well let it die. It's just a bird."

He would have ignored he had she not sounded so curious but it was that genuine curiosity that made him pause.

"Because…because it's better to try then do nothing. It may be an animal but it's still a living thing. Everything deserves to live."

He expected her to call him an idiot or even leave him and go find something else to occupy her time.

"Can I help?"

He hitched her dress an inch higher.

"I love you,"

He couldn't believe that this little girl could surprise him at every turn but she did.

"No you don't,"

He hoped she would agree and go away.

Instead she frowned, "yes I do."

"No, you don't."

"I'm being serious so stop treating me like a child."

"You are a child and you don't."

"Yes, I do and don't say I don't"

"Fine, but you know it will pass in time,"

… "no, it won't."

"Sirius," came a whisper.

Her voiced stilled him to his very core. He couldn't understand how this girl could have such control over him. He didn't need to look at her to know that he had hurt her.

It will pass…

Part of him desperately wanted to hold her close. He wanted to explain that he had only done so because he couldn't stand seeing her with another but he didn't.

I don't care.

It will pass.

He only turned to watch as she ran away. He didn't stop her nor did he try to call her name he simply watched her leave.

No, it won't

I love you…

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The night was alive. The fire burned bright giving the dark grounds a nice warm glow. His eyes searched until they found hers. He saw and heard nothing but her. Nothing mattered more at this moment than her. As their eyes locked he saw the same passion that he has felt since he first kissed her. Last night his mind had him going over the words spoken to him by him. While he disliked him he couldn't deny that what he said was true.

"You can't give her what she wants."

He watched her laugh at something that Lily said. She looked happy without a care in the world.

"What can you a Werewolf possibly have to offer to her?"

He remembered that night. That night he transformed before her eyes. He had watched those same eyes that twinkled with mirth turn to a dull brown in seconds. How she shivered, coward in fear.

"You can't give her what she deserves."

She smiled at him. The smile she gave him reminded him why he was here.

Do you know what you do to me? He can't help but kiss her on the lips whenever she gives him that look. She flushes a nice bright red. Of course you don't. He chuckled slightly as he takes her smaller hand in his.

"I love you," he whispers. Her smile brightens even further. She watches him with those eyes that make him feel normal-no not normal, alive.

He smiles back as he leads her onto the surface of the lake. The lake had been enchanted making into a dance floor for the night. The music floated across the open space giving the place an enchanted feel to it.

With each stroke of the violin they would step leading the music guide them into the dance.

He didn't need to hear any words coming from her small lips to know that she is happy. The brightness in her eyes let him know that she felt what he felt.

From a distance he could hear the sound of the violin and piano intermingle with one another. The wind played with the ends of her hair as her twirled her in her spot bringing her that much closer to him.

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He looked so handsome that she couldn't help but for her heart swell at the sight of him. His face looked smooth and although he was taller than most his stature never made him seem scary. On the contrary it always made her feel safe. How couldn't she. She trusted him with her whole heart.

He held her hand in one of his bigger one as he led and twirled her around the lake. She was happy if only for this moment.

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If only for this moment…(Remus)

If only for a moment…(Emily)

If only…

Yes, if only…

Time stopped

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"Welcome all for the third task of the Triwizarding Tournament!" The audience cheered all looking expectantly at the remaining champions. Everyone anxious to find out what the next task will be.

"You have all seen the velour, the intelligence, and the strength they posses in protecting those they care about most. In the last few days we have seen the trials that these brave young champions have faced. It is because of this that we feel that it is only necessary that we-."

The words became drowned by my thoughts. There was this growing discomfort amongst the people. It was just this morning that rumors about a rogue wizard began to spread. He promised a new era for the wizarding world but like all maniacal ideas they were never without sacrifices.

"Now is the time! This is the time when only those strong at heart will conquer. It's time for the Third Task!"

The House of Mirrors

"Only five champions remain," they were told.

He recalled how they had all entered from different sides, each with a destined door. He recalled Prongs giving him thumbs up before disappearing through his door. He watched how the remaining three also disappeared into their respective words.

He placed his hand on the knob resolute in entering only to pause when he remembered the proctor's words.

"This time you will all be alone. The task that lies before you is like no other. The chances of you not succeeding are lower than the chances of surviving from a dementors attack. This is a test of your inner strength."

I paused only a moment longer, "You will be forced to face your inner most nightmares,"

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Mirrors lots of mirrors, all he could see was mirrors. He wondered how long it would take for it would affect his mind and body. He had heard of this place many times. The House of Mirrors, they call that because if it were called what it really was then no one would want to come close.

Similar to its name sake it showed you an inner most fear that may have perhaps happened or will. Time and space meant nothing to the House of Mirrors.

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I can't breathe.

I can't, not now!

He shut his eyes as he desperately tried to hold back the monster within. The full moon shown bright. His body shook the tremors coming faster and stronger. He was losing it. He was losing himself to his inner beast. He could feel his muscles stretch and his skin tear but that only made him fight harder. He could feel his control begin to slip.

Remus

His eyes snapped opened as they searched for her.

Please don't let it be her. Not here not now.

Remus

Damn it, I won't lose control. I will not put her in danger for my weakness.

A tormented scream was literally ripped from his throat as he fought the beast down.

Emily…

His eyelids hung long as his world began to fade. The last thing he saw was her eyes as his worlds faded.

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I'll protect you

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Even from myself

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It's too quiet. Much too quiet

A bark of dark laughter made a sickening tremor pass his body. He searched desperately for any sign of her red hair.

"Boy! You can't save her. You're too late!"

"Lily! Damn it! Answer me Lily!" he continued to scream even as his throat began to burn from the abuse.

Another bout of laughter echoed. His eyes searched the growing darkness desperately for any sign of her.

I can't lose her. Not her.

He ran desperately searching. Something in him made his heart pound like crazy.

Please be okay. Please…Lily

James

"Lily! I'm coming just wait!"

His eyes caught sight of her red hair and they were drawn to her hair as if it were a red beacon. He felt panic go through every nerve of his body as he watched her laying on the floor vulnerable.

"I'm here Lily. Can you hear me? I'm here. Call me a prat. Call me anything you want just say something."

"Potter…it hurts,"

He felt his heart clench painfully as his eyes landed on the wound located on her stomach. He didn't need to be a doctor to know that it was a fatal wound.

He tried to give her his best reassuring smile.

"*cough*…it's that bad huh?"

"It's not. It's going to be okay. It's only a flesh wound. By tomorrow you'll be up and ready to your old nagging self again."

"Potter,…has anyone ever told you that you're…a horrible liar?" she let out a shaky laugh.

He wanted to tell her that she was just being melodramatic and that everything was going to be okay. He wanted to tell himself that he didn't care that it didn't hurt. It didn't hurt to see her like this.

He closed his eyes, "I can't. I can't do this anymore. I don't care about the stupid task. I can't do this. I'm not strong enough for this."

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"STAY AWAY FROM HER!" he screamed. He couldn't look away no matter how badly he wanted to he couldn't.

"WHY!" he yelled voice hoarse from abuse. Why were they making him watch? Why were they forcing him to relive this moment.

He watched as his mother was hit once more. He begged her to run. He begged her to leave them behind but she wouldn't budge.

"Tell us where your brats are we will leave you be," sneered a man twice her size.

It was his fault. He should have held her back he should have stopped her from using magic. He should have noticed that someone was watching but he had been so excited. For the first time in months his sister had began to use magic.

"I won't let you hurt them," she said through gritted teeth.

The conviction behind his mother's words made him watch her with more admiration and love that he has ever felt before.

"mother…" he whispered.

"I'll protect them, even at the cost of my own life,"

He turned away as he could do nothing once again as he watched them hurt his mother. She wouldn't survive. He should hate all muggles but he couldn't-cant because out of those people had come his mother. She was born a muggle. He will do what she had wanted and protect his sibling at all costs.

I love you.

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Ps: Okay that should be a little clearer. I hope this is good. Anyways I'm currently working on the next chap. Only a few more left yey!