A/N: This is just about a little drinking game which I think would be fun when played at the hub! Set at no particular time but imagine no death of Owen, Tosh or Ianto, and also imagine when Journey's End happened there was no clone Doctor and Rose stayed!
Disclaimer: I don't own Doctor Who, or Torchwood, or any other BBC show for that matter. So please don't sue me- I can't afford it!
Jack and his Torchwood team (Owen, Gwen, Ianto and Tosh) sat at the boardroom table beckoning the others to join them. Jack could not wait to begin this; this was going to be an interesting evening-for all of them.
The Doctor had needed to refuel the TARDIS in Cardiff before returning his mother-in-law home to London. Christmas had passed not long ago, and in the heat of the moment he had become overwhelmed with Christmas cheer, and decided to take his companions (past and present) on a holiday. He had invited Martha and Mickey back, and Rose's mum Jackie; he immediately regretted this decision.
He loved, as did Rose, to have Martha and Mickey around as he and Rose enjoyed hanging out with another couple. It was fun to invite them on trips out and they often had a good laugh; they did not with Jackie Tyler. So when the Doctor had realised that he needed to refuel before he could rid himself of the constant fear of being slapped, he nearly passed out.
So here they were, Torchwood. They might as well visit some friends while in Cardiff, and the more people there was around, the less he would have to be near the woman. Telling these thoughts to Rose had earned him a playful slap on the arm, so God only knows what her Mother would do to him if she heard him talking like that.
"Jack, I really don't think this is the best idea" Rose protested.
"Oh come on Rosie, you love drinking games. Remember that time on Klom with the ping-pong ball and the cucumber. That earned you a round of applause from the whole bar" Jack winked at the Doctor, who let out a giggle. This earned a death glare from Jackie who had sat down at the end of the glass table.
"Yeah" Rose dropped her voice and glanced at her mother "but my Mum wasn't there then". The Doctor kissed Rose on the cheek and coaxed her to the free chair near to the end of the table. He sat next to her; strategically in the most far away seat there was from Jackie.
"Come on Rose I should be the one who is scared. Actually let me re-phrase that. I am more scared than you. Trust me" the Doctor squeezed her hand.
Jack stood up from his chair and gestured to the several bottles of vodka and the filled shot glasses in front of each person on the table. "Okay boys and girls, here's how it's gonna work. We're gonna play 'I've never'". Rose put her head in her hands, she knew the game well, and since Jack was playing, she knew this was not appropriate to play with your mother in the room.
"Rules are simple" Jack continued "someone starts a sentence with 'I've never', and you have done it, you take a drink". The others in the room chatted and giggled like excited teenagers, anticipating what the drinking game could bring.
Rose however, did not giggle, only groaned "I've never, with my mother. God only knows how this'll end up". The Doctor forced a smile, but it accidently appeared on his face as a grimace. Rose mirrored his expression.
"Okay everyone, take a shot. Just to get you all loosened up" Jack winked at Jackie, who downed her glass first. The others followed her example, and a murmur rippled through the people sitting at the table; confusion, as they realised what they had drank was not alcohol.
"Oh no" the Doctor looked at his empty shot glass, then at Jack's smug, smiling face. "You little sod" the Doctor was not laughing.
"What? What has he done?" Rose was panicking; she knew that Jack's menacing smile could not mean good things.
"That was not vodka" the Doctor began to explain "That was Samieri Elixir, in short, truth serum"
"Truth serum?" everyone on the table gasped as Rose tried to understand the situation. "Hang on, like that stuff in Harry Potter? You are kidding me. I didn't even know that existed"
Jack was laughing now as Owen has chosen to call him a few choice words under his breath, which Jack had picked up on. "Well it does exist, but it's really rare. The chemicals are only available at certain points in the galaxy which are not easy to get to" The Doctor turned to Jack "How did you even get any?"
"Well Doc, when you're me you meet a lot of people. Generally, I am owed a lot of favours from said people. I get repaid on different ways" Jack said it almost seductively, the Doctor just rolled his eyes.
"So hang on" Gwen's welsh accent appeared "are you saying that we physically cannot lie?"
"Exactly" Jack clapped his hands "Well at least not for the next twelve hours. I'll go first then" Jack passed the vodka bottle around so that each person could refill their glass; Rose scowled when she received the bottle. "I've never" he glanced around the room before his eyes landed on Mickey "had sex with Mickey Smith"
Rose and Martha drank from their glasses, and refilled them.
"Well that was boring" Ianto proclaimed "You used to be his girlfriend, and you're married to him, it's expected" Gwen and Tosh stifled laughs.
"Patience dear Ianto, you can't expect any revelations on the first try" Owen patted his friend on the back patronisingly, earning him a sarcastic laugh from Ianto.
"Okay, Rose. Your go" Mickey pestered. "Since you used to love it so much"
"Shut it" Rose snapped back.
Rose thought for a moment. The main aim of the game was to embarrass anyone and everyone. So she would fight dirty. Her eyes settled on Mickey, who immediately looked worried.
"I've never broke a computer because my cum went all over it after havin' a wank"
Mickey glared at her before feeling himself begin to involuntarily down the drink. This earned him a round of applause from the table, catcalls from Jack, raised eyebrows and a smirk from Martha, and a disgusted face from Jackie. Rose then noticed Owen lowering his glass and could not contain her laughter.
"Owen, you did it too?" she squealed.
After several revelations, including (much to Rose's disgust) the fact that Jackie Tyler had streaked through a shopping centre when she was nineteen, it came round to Ianto's turn.
"I've never been with two women". Immediately, Owen and Jack drank down the vodka, and Owen leaned across the table to high five Jack; Owen was beginning to feel the effects of the alcohol after having admitted to quite a lot. Next, the Doctor drank; Jack slapped him on the back. "Good man" he laughed and the Doctor blushed.
The next person to drink was such a shock that almost everyone on the table gasped- almost everyone; the Doctor just smiled knowingly. Rose had downed the alcohol in her shot glass.
"Oh my God Rose!" Jackie screamed "I didn't think you would do a thing like that. How many times? And when?" she added, although her tone was not one of curiosity, but one of concern.
"Three" Rose said without thinking. Damn that truth serum she thought, but she had done the damage now, may as well continue "once when I was seventeen, once when I was nineteen and once about three months ago". Jack eyed the Doctor. That was when the night went downhill for Rose Tyler. She could have sworn they all had it in for her.
"I've never shagged a Timelord" Martha said next.
Rose, Jack and the Doctor drank. Jackie gasped. Rose, who was filled with what she could only describe as an obscene amount of alcohol, was feeling brave.
"Well Mum, what did you think we did in our room, considering the Doctor hardly sleeps? Play chess?"
Jackie looked as though she were going to kill someone (the Doctor), and the Doctor looked as though her was going to run away; so Jack moved on quickly. "I've never shagged two Timelords" not the best thing to say the Doctor thought. Jack was looking at him expectantly, so when Rose took a drink, Jack's eyes widened. The Doctor winked at Jack.
"The Master should come round more often" Rose thought aloud refilling her drink.
The whole group laughed and whistled at Rose and the Doctor who were exchanging glances, remembering the fun. Jackie did not join the others chanting and applauding, but she hold her tongue and did not say anything either.
The game had been going on for well over an hour. Jackie had passed out about twenty minutes earlier and the Doctor had carried her to her bed in the TARDIS. Upon his return, the Doctor found Ianto and Tosh out cold also.
The Doctor sat back down in his chair and pulled Rose onto his lap. She was getting tired as a result of the alcohol and laughter, and was grateful for the comfort of her lovers arms wrapped around her. Rose allowed her head to fall back slightly and rest in the crook of the Doctors' neck; he kissed her hair softly and ghosted his fingers up and down her exposed arm.
"And then there were seven" Jack declared.
"Okay, it's my turn Owen said, contemplating what to say next. "I've never...been pregnant" he looked over to Gwen who was replacing her glass.
"My wedding day, alien bite, thing inside me, pickle cravings. In short, not good."
The Doctor drank.
"Sorry" Mickey exclaimed "care to elaborate?" the Doctor shrugged.
"I fell asleep on Civistalk 9 and the next think I know, I'm a surrogate. The gestation period is only three days though, and the child can be teleported out"
"What a weekend that was" Rose said, taking a drink. The Doctor stopped stroking her arm and instead held her tighter, becoming more protective.
"You've been..." Mickey began "H-how? W-when?" he sputtered. Martha gave him a warning look, she obviously had not told them for a reason and she did not want Mickey to upset Rose.
Seeing this, Rose held up her hand and said in a quiet voice "It's okay". The Doctor kissed Rose's hair again as he was at a loss at how he could help the situation; Rose took a deep breath and squeezed one of his hands. "It happened last year after a drunken night with the Judoon. We weren't careful" everyone stayed silent in anticipation and concentration. "We talked about it" she looked up at the Doctor, who resumed his arm stroking in an attempt to soothe her "but it didn't matter. I miscarried about three weeks after we found out" her gaze was now firmly focused on the Doctors' fingers on her arm. "I was three months gone".
The Doctor kissed Rose's neck and held her tight. Tears ghosted down her cheeks and onto his hand, which he moved to wipe the remaining tears from her face. No one had spoken for around twenty seconds now and Rose had simply closed her eyes and settled her head on the Doctors chest. Gwen shattered the heavy silence.
"I'm so sorry Rose. It must have been awful." She sympathised. Rose smiled at her sat up slightly straighter, although still huddling into the Doctor.
Determined to change the subject onto a lighter note, Rose declared that it was her go. "I've never shagged a cat"
Jack downed his drink.
A/N: I know you may be thinking "Where is Donna?" well truth is, I did originally write it with her in and a few others in too, but I had far too many characters so I'm pretending that she is at home playing Guess Who? with Wilf.
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