Disclaimer: I do not own The Hunger Games in any way whatsoever.

The Day We Ran Away

The day we ran away, Tarquin, was a day which sticks in my head for no reason at all. It was sunny but there were grey clouds, threatening to rain. Nika, the cleaner, had managed to lose your favourite pair of shoes. Children outside were comparing hairstyles. A rerun of the 68th Hunger Games was showing on TV. It was like the day before that. And the one before that.

We'd been planning that day for weeks, Tarquin. I don't know who thought of it first. I think it was you. You used to argue with Father so much about anything and everything. But it was me who focused your anger. I was the one who snuck into Father's office and read his reports on the districts. I was the one who started to wonder about Father. But you hated him first. So I think you must have thought of the idea.

We left about mid-morning. You said the earlier we left, the happier we would be. We'd never have to be under his oppressive household again. We could live our lives in freedom. I'd read those reports, the ones which said District 13 still exists. That was our grand plan. Keep running to District 13. They'd take us in. With our knowledge of the Capitol, they would have no choice. We wouldn't have to rebel, even if they did. Just live our lives the way we wanted to.

I wonder now if you were older than I was, Tarquin. I always thought of myself as the mature sibling but I think you were right. I never hated Father as much as you did. I disliked his cold way of treating us but I thought he loved us. Even when he beat us – those occasions when we had misbehaved – I thought he was doing it for our own good. He provided us with the best. I think I was young in that way, or desperate. You knew that he didn't care for us. You saw through his facade.

But your plans ... Tarquin, would we really have been right? Why would District 13 believe us to begin with? And we would have had to do what they said if we'd gotten there because they would have needed every person they had. I didn't say anything so I'm still younger than you are. But I didn't believe we would succeed as strongly as you did. Maybe I wasn't the naive one after all.

So the day we ran away was different in the sense that we were finally acting on our plans. We had everything ready. Enough food to keep us going. A weak spot in the system which we could use to exit. Spare clothes. Maps. Everything we needed to end our lives as Capitol citizens and become members of a dead district. And we did it, Tarquin. We left after Father had gone to work, telling Nika that we had gone to visit Ludens.

Did you know they killed Ludens? We never told him anything about our plans. We didn't expect him to be more than the usual Capitol citizen. Maybe he never was. But Ludens was actually our friend. When Father came to find us, he asked Ludens where we were. He could have easily said he hadn't seen us and shown the evidence. But he didn't. He lied for us, saying we'd just been by, even though he didn't know why. And when they found the evidence that we'd escaped, they tortured Ludens for the information he didn't have. They killed him for 'lying' about his role in our escape. He was devoted to the Capitol but I guess, ultimately, he was a better person than we were. He cared about his friends.

Escaping the Capitol was always going to be the hard part. We had that gap in the system – the knowledge that the power would be switched off in that section for half an hour on that day. We'd drugged the guards and, at the right time, snuck through. I still can't believe we managed it. I don't think either of us really expected to get that far. Once we were out, I found myself wondering what we thought we were doing. But you looked so determined, Tarquin, that I followed you anyway.

The next few weeks were hard but we stuck by each other. Just like family should. We shared our rations carefully. I don't think either of us had ever been so hungry before but you didn't complain so I didn't either. If one of us was hurt, the other would help. It wasn't as glorious as the tales you spun but there was the idea of District 13 to look forward to. So we kept going.

Who noticed that those soldiers were after us? I think I did but maybe I'm wrong. But, suddenly, it wasn't a carefully planned hike: it was a run. Run or be killed. We managed to lose them for a day or two but we couldn't last forever. I don't know how they found us to begin with. Maybe our tracks weren't as well hidden as we thought.

We were near District 12. You recognised it from pictures. Small, dusty, poor. We hadn't slept for two days because sleep would have meant capture. And still we kept running.

I thought we'd lost them, Tarquin, I honestly did. You didn't; you were far more alert. And then there was that birdcall – the one which means a hovercraft is nearby. You looked around for a way to escape. That's when I saw them. A boy and a girl, hiding in the bushes. I was desperate, Tarquin. There was no way to outrun the hovercraft. So I looked at them and shouted for help. If they were anything like us, they would help I thought.

They looked me in the eye and did nothing.

There was a split-second of silence. Then the hovercraft came and a net fell on me before I could move.

And you died, Tarquin.

They shot a spear through you and pulled you up, like some sort of fish. I think I screamed your name. It was too quick. I couldn't believe you were dead. You were too alive to be dead. That day, I lost my brother, Tarquin, and I can't even blame you for leaving me.

Do you know why they killed you, actually? They told me you were the ringleader. The person who ordered our capture said that you should be killed, as an example to any others trying to escape and because you were the leader. You know it was Father though, don't you? He didn't care about us, not when his job was in the balance. He killed you for not being his son. I told the soldiers I would kill him one day, for not being our father.

I won't tell you what they did to me, Tarquin, after they caught me. It would only break your heart. It continued in the Capitol. But by the end of it, I was broken. I couldn't even protest. And that's not the worst of it. They cut out my tongue and made me an Avox. Mercy, they called it. The only mercy I see is that I was left alive to kill Father, which I swear to do one day.

They made me work in the Training Centre, to serve the tributes for the Games. A job Father knew I would hate. So I stand there and serve like a good Avox and avoid my punishment. I try to avoid my beatings. I have only one person I can 'talk' to but I only see him occasionally. I don't live at all.

The day we ran away, Tarquin, was a day which sticks in my head for no reason at all. It was a day when we dared to hope and it was a day which crushed our hopes. It was a day when we rebelled against the Capitol and it was a day when the Capitol crushed us. It was a day which was meant to be the best day of my life. It haunts me every night.

The day we ran away, Tarquin, was ultimately, a day no different from any other at all.