Lin: Just something short and silly. Updates for 'Quest' and 'Comfort' coming soon. 'Maybe' is on hold, reason being on my profile

"Woody, do you see supernovas when you touch yourself?"

"W-WHAT?"

Staring at the green dinosaur in front of with pure shock, Woody could only imagine that he heard the question wrong. He was getting old, perhaps his hearing was going.

"S-say that again, Rex?" Woody asked, reaching down to grab his hat that had somehow fallen from his head. "I did not catch that.."

"Of course!" Rex smiled brightly. "I asked if you see supernovas when you touch yourself."

No denying it now, Woody had heard correctly. So correctly that he dropped his hat a second-time while taking up the expression of an open-mouthed fish. Nearby, Buzz had perked up and looked over at the two curiously.

"You know," Rex continued cheerfully. "Those things really high up in the sky? Maybe you just see fireworks when you touch yourself?"

If Woody had looked, he would of noticed Buzz putting a hand to his mouth to hide his laughter as the space ranger watched the conversation for afar. Woody did not notice this though, his mind was racing.

Sweet, innocent, childish-minded Rex was asking him..Asking WOODY of all toys such a personal question..It must be from all the tv and video games Rex played, because Woody was pretty sure none of the others toys would tell Rex of such a thing. Unless..

"I-is this a joke?" Woody demanded, deciding to let his hat stay on the ground for now. "Did someone tell you to ask me that?"

"No," Rex looked confused. "I was just curious."

Taking in this information, Woody allowed a small pause in the conversation as he mind tried to figure out a solution. Rex had never showed signs of sexuality beforehand, which lead Woody to believe that Rex had heard about this on tv or perhaps on the computer. Andy was growing up after all and Rex seemed to be the most computer savvy out of all of them. For all Woody knew, Rex could be sneaking out of the toy boy every night and looking up..things on that 'Internet' that everyone seemed to use.

It was different for toys thought. All toys had different sets of..feelings depending on what they were and how they were made. Woody himself had some of those feelings, simply because he was based on a male human, but Rex was a dinosaur. Did dinosaurs have pleasure points? Woody did not know, and honestly did not want to find out. That, of course, lead to another train of thought that perhaps Rex did have feelings and was asking Woody if what he had felt was normal.

"Woody?" Rex looked worried. "Did I say something wrong? I'm sorry!"

"No!" Woody tried to hush Rex before he got louder and grabbed everyone's attention. "Don't be sorry! You just..caught me by surprise was all."

"How?" Rex was waving his arms slightly, his voice getting louder. "I did not mean to! I just wanted to know what you see when you touched yourself! Is that so bad?"

"R-rex!" Woody looked around, trying to figure out a way to pacify Rex. "Quiet down! I do, alright? I see supernovas. Happy?"

"How?" Rex asked, still waving.

"H-how what?" If Rex was going to ask Woody for a technique, Woody would bury his head in the dirt outside and never come out.

"How do you see supernovas?" Rex stopped moving his arms, looking disappointed. "I don't!"

"O-oh?" Woody chuckled nervously. "Well, that's to-"

"Show me! Show me how to see supernovas! I don't see anything when I do it!" Rex shook his head. "I must be doing something wrong."

Buzz was on the floor by now, one hand to his mouth while the other was banging the floor, his body shaking with laughter. Woody shot him a glare, but Buzz was too busy laughing to notice.

"Rex," Woody used his leader tone, determined to not take this conversation any further. "I really am not the-"

"Here!" Rex interrupted. "Just watch and tell me if I am doing it right!"

"REX!"

Before Woody could even think to stop him, Rex stretched one arm out and..placed it to his jaw. Holding the paw to his jaw, Rex paused for a moment before removing it.

"See!" Rex proudly stated. "I touched myself and felt nothing! What am I doing wrong?"

Buzz was positively rolling around on the floor now, no longer able to hold in his laughing. Woody was not sure if Buzz just found the topic laughable or Woody's expression amusing, but Woody would certainly be lecturing him later about laughing at his leader.

If Woody wanted to be honest though, he was very relieved that Rex had not taken the situation in a different way. Trying to explain sexuality to Rex was certainly not one of his duties as leader.

"Rex, just.." Woody shook his head before an idea came to mind. "Hey, Rex! Guess what Andy just got!"

"What?" Rex asked, forgetting their conversation.

"A new Buzz Lightyear game! 'Buzz Lightyear To The Rescue' for Playstation!" Woody make sure to sound extra excited. "The game just came out and everything! Have you tried it yet?"

"NO!" Rex pounded his foot a bit. "Hamm did not tell me that Andy got a new game!"

"No way!" Woody felt silly, but it seemed to be distracting Rex. "You should go up to him and demand to know why he did not tell you!"

"Yeah!" Rex looked around. "Where is he?"

"Over there!" Using a over-the-top gesture, Woody pointed towards the tv. "Go get him!"

"Yeah! Thanks, Woody!" Rex smiled at the cowboy before storming towards the tv. "HAMM! YOU MEAN PIGGY, YOU!"

Letting out a sigh of relief, Woody bent slightly at the waist as he rethought over the conversation. Thankfully, Rex was innocent-minded..

"So, DO you see supernovas?"

..Unlike certain space rangers.

"That is none of your business," Woody straightened up to glare at Buzz before reaching for his hat. "Why he asked me-"

Feeling a hand touch his waist, Woody stopped talking. His hand was on his hat, but he did not get to grab it since the tough at his waist had made him pause. Looking over slightly, Woody noticed Buzz leaning towards him.

"I could make you see supernovas," Buzz whispered once he was close enough. "Give me a chance, I can make you soar higher than ever before."

"Buzz," Woody was shocked, not truly believing his best friend was hitting on him. "W-wh-"

Moving his hand from Woody's waist, Buzz lowered his hand and gave Woody's ass a hardy slap. Woody let out a soft sound of surprise.

"Think about it," Buzz simply said, raising his eyebrows. "Believe me, I can make it worth your while."

All Woody could do was watch as Buzz turned and walked away, the feeling from the slap making him shiver slightly.

He was just as bad as any human.

Lin: If you have ever seen 'Ginger Snaps,' you may understand the supernovas reference.

I'm a pervert. Yay.