Je N'ai Pas De Mots

By: TG

Disclaimer: In first chapter.

AN: I must apologize for three things. First, for the length of time it took me to post this. The second apology ties in with the first -the reason it took me ages is because I've moved on from the FMA fandom to the Hetalia fandom and I lost all gumption for this little ficclet. And the third apology is for all the line breaks. They are necessary, because while the first two chapters have been in strictly Roy's or Ed's POV, this one is in both. Hope you all enjoy this final chapter!

Je N'ai Pas De Mots

Chorus

Je n'ai pas de mots,
Nothing seems to say the way you move me,
Rushing through me,
Je n'ai pas de mots,
But a promise has been made you can believe this,
From the first kiss,
It's good that I dont have to speak to know that it's real,
Je n'ai pas de mots.

Roy appreciated the irony of the situation. He prostrated himself before no one, and yet here he was, on his knees in front of the Gate. He had finished the lines of his alchemy ages ago, but hadn't been able to bring himself to seal the deal until now. Thoughts of Ed had kept the Gate open, but he realized that his selfishness might one day result in the destruction of hundreds of thousands of lives should the Gate remain open, and Ed would not want that, wouldn't want him to live with that sort of guilt.

So, he figured, it was time.

Roy allowed himself a moment to let the reality of what he was doing wash over him. It needed to be done, had to be done, but it meant that he would be damning himself to a half-life, never able to see, hear, touch his lover again.

Well. Ed had always joked that Roy must have been a masochist.

He leaned forward, drew the power into his fingertips, closed his eyes against the vicious saltwater that clouded them, and touched his hands to the ground.

Ed wasn't sure what had drawn him out so late, or why he had ended up at the empty warehouse on the docks. He spent most of his life in this world just going through the motions, so the deviation from his normal nightly routine of staying awake and staring at the stars was rather strange. He paused at the open door, trying to see through the veil of darkness inside. Something in his gut told him to go in; he had spent most of his previous life trusting that feeling, and this time was no different.

A shiver ran up his spine as he stepped over the threshold, and his skin felt prickly –sure signs of alchemy. He crept in further, trying to quash the light feeling that was welling up inside him. If he could feel alchemy, that meant that Roy hadn't closed the Gate, even after all this time.

A glow caught his eyes, and he turned to find it was coming from the center of the warehouse floor. A feeling of unease swept over him, and he recognized the sensations as the one he had felt each time he stood vulnerable before the Gate.

It was here.

His eyes widened, and in that moment the light exploded forth in a rush of warmth.

Roy sobbed as he felt the power leave his fingertips. Light burst forth from the lines of chalk, pulsing past him and filling his ears with noise. It overwhelmed his vision until he couldn't open his eyes without being blinded.

When he could finally blink his eyes open, he realized that the light had gone –or rather, the light had changed into a void –and there was another thing in there with him.

He raised his hand, not even sure if his alchemy would work here but ready to snap nonetheless, and called out. "Who's there?"

"…Roy?"

"Ed?" It couldn't be, he had to be going crazy… But it was Ed's voice and he noticed as he crept closer that the mystery person was Ed-shaped and had Ed's brilliant blond hair. That was all it took for him to start running, and soon his long lost lover was in his arms.

"I don't know what you did," Ed said, muffled against Roy's chest, "but it was probably an accident."

"So much faith in my abilities," Roy murmured back. They drew back and came together again, this time attacking each other with lips, teeth and tongue. Their hands clenched in each other's hair, scrabbled at each other's shoulders as they kissed. It was full of desperation and longing, and it was sloppy.

"I love you, Roy. I spent a lot of time regretting not telling you that," Ed panted against his mouth as they pulled away.

"I knew. And I love you, too."

Their reunion was interrupted because a few feet away the air began to stir, and a figure materialized. Ed seemed to recognize it and stepped protectively and unthinkingly in front of Roy, but the figure grinned and raised its hands in surrender.

"I'm not here to torment you, Fullmetal. We both know that that time is over."

Roy glanced at Ed, who was staring incredulously at the shadow-figure. "Ed? You know this…thing?"

The figure's attention turned to Roy, and it said, "You're closing the Gate, and I'll tell you right now that you'll succeed. I'm here to give you and the brat a last goodbye. And now it's time for you to go."

Ed made a noise in his throat, and the shadow-creature looked at him sharply. "You know it's time. You must close the Gate, both of you."

The white void began to dissolve around them and Roy managed to catch Ed mouthing 'I'll miss you' over the noise. Roy smiled at him, and then it was gone. He was back in the underground cavern on all fours, smiling through the tears running down his face.

He'd made his peace, and even though he would always love Edward, he could start to live his life again.

Edward landed flat on his back on the warehouse floor, the wind knocked out of him. He lay there for a moment, just staring at the cold ceiling and letting everything sink in. He would never go back. He would never see Roy again.

But he was given this one last chance, he'd said his piece. He loved Roy and Roy loved him, and there didn't need to be any words between them for the rest of their lives as long as they had that.

A peacefulness like he'd never known settled deep in his core, and made him able to get up and move on, finally content with his new life.

© TG December 2011