A/N: Thank you so much for the reviews on the last chapter, they are greatly appreciated. And a very big thank you to Passionately Simple for her help with this, she's amazing and pretty much a genius. Enjoy!


Rachel took a deep breath as she opened the door and walked into Quinn's store. She was a little surprised when she didn't see anyone in sight.

"Quinn? Beth?" she called out as she walked through the store.

Quinn quickly appeared from the back office. "Rachel? What are you doing here?" she asked as she walked over to the display of dresses Rachel was standing next to.

Rachel glanced around the store. "Is Beth here?"

"No, Kurt took her to the theatre, their website was down."

Rachel nodded. "Oh, that's actually a good thing. I have something to talk to you about, and it's probably best that she isn't here."

Quinn glanced at the clock on the wall. "What about your flight? Shouldn't you be on your way to the airport?"

Rachel bit her lip because in hindsight it would have been a lot easier to have just called Quinn when she got back to New York. Her excitement had gotten the best of her before she realized that, though and she hoped that coming to the store didn't make her seem too desperate.

"I'm actually catching a later flight."

"Okay...what's going on, Rachel? You're making me a little nervous. Is there something wrong?"

"Well, it certainly wasn't my intent to make you nervous. I wanted to talk to you about an opportunity for Beth. As you know, the Tonys are in a couple weeks." Rachel paused, and Quinn nodded as an indication for her to continue. "Jesse was supposed to be my date, but there was a scheduling conflict with his tour, so as of right now I am dateless. After you left the park, I began to think that Beth would get a big kick out of going with me."

"Rachel, I-"

Rachel cut her off. "I know it seems kind of sudden, and unfortunately, I'm only permitted to bring one guest, otherwise I would invite you to come along as well, but it would really mean a lot me if you let me bring Beth."

Quinn began to nervously play with her hands. The excitement in Rachel's voice and her wide smile only made rejecting her even harder. "I really appreciate your offer, but I can't allow Beth to go with you."

That was definitely not the response Rachel had been expecting, the smile fell from her lips and her brow dipped in confusion. "What? Quinn, I don't understand. I thought you would be excited about this. It is an amazing opportunity for Beth."

To avoid Rachel's hurt filled gaze, Quinn shifted her eyes to the floor. "We don't need to go into all of the details right now, just know that I really appreciate your offer, but I still can't let Beth go with you."

Rachel crossed her arms in front of her chest. "I disagree. I think we do need to go into the details, especially since an hour ago you were telling me how you meant it when you said you wanted me in her life again. Were you lying when you said that?"

Quinn shifted uncomfortably on her feet. "Of course not. I want her to have contact with you, but I don't want her exposed to your lifestyle."

Rachel's frown deepened. "My lifestyle? What are you talking about?"

"You know what I'm talking about." Quinn kept glancing at the door just in case Beth and Kurt returned. "I really don't want to go into this right now, if Beth comes back and we are having a disagreement, it would really upset her."

Rachel understood Quinn's reasoning, the thought that Beth may return at any moment and walk in on their argument had crossed her mind as well. "If Beth comes back, we certainly won't discuss this in front of her but, she isn't here right now, so I would like you to explain to me what you meant about my lifestyle."

Growing up with her parents gave Quinn a lot of experience when it came to dealing with addicts, and she knew they didn't like to be confronted about their addiction, which made her a little nervous as to where this conversation would lead. She closed her eyes, and for a second, it wasn't Rachel standing in front of her. It was Russell, and she swore she could feel the smell of the whiskey burning her nose, and hear the sound of his hate filled voice listing off bible verses. When she took a deep breath and brought herself back to reality, she saw Rachel looking at her expectantly.

"I'm not blind, I know you have a problem."

Rachel's eyes widened, and this was one of the rare moments in her life where she had been rendered speechless. "A problem?" she finally managed to say after a few seconds of silence. "I can assure you that I do not have a problem of any kind."

"Rachel, I know the signs of addiction; and I've also seen all the magazines and news stories talking about your cocaine habit and promiscuity."

"Do you have any idea how ridiculous you sound?" Rachel threw her arms up in exasperation and her voice began to rise. "I can't believe that we're having this conversation right now."

Upon hearing Rachel's voice rise, Quinn instinctively took a few steps back. Many times throughout her childhood, she'd seen her father throw his hands up in the air and raise his voice, just like Rachel was doing, any time someone would question his decision to pour himself yet another glass of whiskey.

"I didn't want to believe those things about you, but I can't help but wonder why you would get so defensive over something that wasn't true."

Rachel took a deep breath. She knew not defending herself would only make it seem as if she was admitting to the horrible things Quinn was accusing her of. "Of course I'm getting defensive, you're saying I'm a crackwhore!"

"Don't put words in my mouth, I didn't call you a crackwhore."

Rachel rolled her eyes. "Oh right, you just said that I was sleeping with half Hollywood and doing cocaine, my mistake."

"You have to understand that I can't allow my daughter to be around that kind of stuff," Quinn said softly, she didn't want Rachel to start yelling again. "She looks up to you, Rachel."

Rachel moved forward to close the space Quinn put between them, but she frowned and took a step back when Quinn backed into the display table that was behind her. "I would never do anything that would have a negative influence on Beth. You know me, Quinn, you know I would never get into that sort of stuff," she said in a much softer voice.

Quinn nervously ran her hand through her hair. "No, Rachel, I don't know who you are anymore. Four and half years is a long time. I'm not the same person I was back then, and I know you aren't either. I can't just let Beth go off to some huge event with you. If something happened to her, I wouldn't be able to forgive myself."

"If you would stop being so foolish, you'd realize that I'm still that person who loves Beth as if she were my own child, and would do anything I could to protect her. I don't need help, the only thing I need is for you to believe me when I tell you that none of the stories the magazines publish about me are true."

As much as Quinn wanted to believe Rachel, she knew she couldn't back down. She was Beth's mother, and it was her job to protect her. "Despite what happened between us in the past, I still care about you, Rachel. It pains me to think of you living that way. I wish I could completely trust you with Beth, but I can't right now."

For the last four and half years Rachel had been longing for Quinn to tell her that she still cared about her. She never expected her to say it during some confrontation about an imaginary cocaine addiction. Tears filled Rachel's eyes, the fact that Quinn would even consider that she'd do those things showed how little she thought of her.

"If you truly cared about me, you would believe me when I look you in the eye and tell you that I don't do those disgusting things." Despite her best efforts, a few tears fell from her eyes and streamed down her cheeks.

Quinn hadn't expected Rachel to start crying, and forced herself to resist the urge she had to wipe the tears from her cheeks. "I want to believe you, I really do but, all the evidence points in the opposite direction. Your driver says you're always in your apartment alone, you've lost weight, and I've seen paparazzi pictures of you with white powder on your shirt."

Rachel shook her head and let out an exasperated sigh. "Once again, you sound completely ridiculous. I don't know what the white powder in the paparazzi shot was, Quinn. It could have been food or dust or a million other different things. As for losing weight, performing eight days a week really takes a lot out of a person."

"What about all the time you spend alone in your apartment?"

"Do you really want to know the truth, Quinn?" Rachel asked as she wiped her cheeks dry.

"Of course I do. Even if you don't believe it, I meant it when I said I still care about you."

Rachel took a deep breath. "Despite the fact that it's been four and half years since we broke up, and that I've tried as hard as I could to forget you, I'm still in love with you."

Quinn had been expecting Rachel to admit that she had some sort of drug problem, not that she was still in love with her. She had no idea how to react, and she realized she must have been silent for far too long when she saw that Rachel's cheeks had become wet with tears once again. "Rachel, I"

Rachel held her hand up to silence Quinn. "You don't have to say anything. I realize you're with Peter now, and what we had was over a long time ago. You know what I've also realized?"

Quinn silently shook her head.

"That I deserve better than someone who thinks I would resort to promiscuity and drug use. If you really knew me like I thought you did, you would have never accused me of such things." A small sob escaped Rachel's mouth, and she took a deep breath to try and compose herself.

Quinn forced herself to swallow the lump in her throat. She wasn't about to let Rachel make her second guess herself. "No. I'm not going to stand here and let you make me feel guilty."

"I'm not trying to make you feel guilty but, if that's how you feel perhaps there's a good reason for it."

Quinn knew she shouldn't feel guilty about her decision. Memories of Russell flashed through her mind once again, and she knew she couldn't allow Beth to be exposed to the same horrors that she'd witnessed when she was a child.

"I'm only trying to protect my daughter."

"She used to be my daughter as well," Rachel said quietly.

"Yeah, she was, until you chose your career over her. How do I know you won't put your addiction ahead of her as well? What if she got a hold of one your baggies? Or, what if you've had too much that night and you lose your temper with her? I can't risk those things happening."

Rachel grimaced when Quinn brought up their reason for breaking up. That was the one fact she knew she couldn't argue. "Neither of those things would ever happen. I don't have an addiction of any kind, and I'd never allow Beth to be around anyone that did. I would never let anything happen to her, let alone raise a hand to her."

Quinn did her best to ignore the sincerity that seemed to be in Rachel's voice. She reminded herself that addicts were some of the best liars. "Do you know how many times I heard my father promise my mother that he'd never hurt my sister and I?"

Rachel's mouth opened in shock as she tried to process what Quinn had just said. "Did you just compare me to your father?"

Quinn realized that may not have been the best comparison. Addiction or not, she knew Rachel was nothing like the monster her father was, and would never do half of the things he'd done. But, when she opened her mouth to try and take it back, Rachel held her hand up to stop her.

"Whatever you're going to say, save it. I'm done with this. Today is the day that I leave the past in the past. I will no longer go through the various 'what if' scenarios in my mind, and all hope that the three of us could someday be a family again will be abandoned. Do I still want what we had? Of course I do, but I want it with someone else. Someone who believes in me, and always thinks the best of me."

Tears were now falling from Quinn's eyes as well as she listened to Rachel. She knew none of this should matter. She was with Peter and they were getting married. She knew she should feel relieved that Rachel was finally getting over her, but she didn't. She felt exactly like she did four and half years ago when she walked out of Rachel's apartment building and into cold winter air, like she was losing one of the best things in her life. But, she knew that this time, Rachel wasn't hers to lose, and that she had no right to feel that way. She also knew she couldn't let Rachel leave without apologizing for the Russell comparison.

"Rachel, I didn't mean it when I compared you to him. Please, you have to believe me."

"Why would I believe you when you didn't even try to believe me? You just compared me to the most disgusting and horrible person I know. That isn't something I'm going to take lightly."

Quinn opened her mouth to speak, but she didn't know what to say. She knew Rachel was right.

After a few moments of silence, Rachel cleared her throat and continued talking. "So, to fully answer your question, I spent the majority of my time thinking about you and Beth, and how badly I messed up. Some days, I wondered if it was still possible to find someone that sparked the same something inside of my heart that you did and that maybe the only reason I hadn't yet, despite going on dates with dozens of wonderful people, was because I wasn't ready to move on. Other days, I'd be so heartbroken that I would wish that I had never met you, but I'm certainly glad I did. Without you and Beth, I know I wouldn't be the same person that I am today."

A customer came through the front door of the store, which startled both girls. Quinn frantically attempted to wipe her eyes, and Rachel was secretly relieved. She wasn't sure how much longer she could hold herself together, and she had every intention of getting in her car and sitting in the Save-A-Lot parking lot across the street to cry her eyes out until it was time for her to head to the airport.

"I have every intention of keeping all of the promises I've made to Beth, and I certainly hope that this...discussion doesn't have a negative impact on any of those promises. I hope you have a wonderful wedding, Quinn, and I really do hope you enjoy your life with Peter. I'll let you get back to work." Rachel didn't wait for Quinn to respond before she turned on her heel and made her way out of the store as quickly as possible.

Quinn watched as Rachel got into her black rental car, put the key in the ignition, and pulled out of the parking lot in record time. Rachel had just confessed that she still loved her, and that she was moving on from her all at once. Quinn wasn't sure how she felt, what she was supposed to feel, or why she had just let Rachel walk out of the store like that.

She took a deep breath, and did her best to maintain her composure, and keep her thoughts off of Rachel, while she tried to help the customer try on blouses. Rachel had left, and Quinn knew she had to convince herself that it was for the best. Now, she could live her life like she had been before Beth decided to wander into Rachel's arms two weeks ago.