A/N:

'Ello all~

Was browsin' through my files and found this ol' bit of writing... I'd been meaning to post it, so here it is!

This was mainly an exercise to see how well I could write Zoidberg dialogue; would appreciate some crit on that specially. This fic takes place after the events of Bender's Game - y'know, when the professor gave Zoidberg rights over how long Leela would wear the shock collar and then she took him to meet her parents to sort out her issues andd yep. Just wanted to have a little fun~

Rating is PG as this is very tame, and as for warnings? None, except beware an odd pairing and a bit of OOCness on Leela's part.

Alright, enough talkin' from me - enjoy! (:

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One More Dinner

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"Ohh, how nice it was for your parents to invite me over again, Leela! I very much enjoyed meeting your father, a gentlemen like that man I have not met on your planet!And your mother - she is a most wonderful cook and such a lovely woman as well she is! Why, if she was not already taken, I would have her on my claw in an instant, I would!"

'Ugh,' Leela groaned. She couldn't believe that this was happening. The one guy that her parents had actually liked enough to invite over to dinner a second time… was him. What luck.

Of all of the males that she could've introduced to her parents over dinner, it had to have been Zoidberg, the lobster doctor that everyone loved to hate.

Well… she didn't absolutely hate him (not to the point that Hermes seemed to anyway), but he was pretty damned annoying. Most of the time, the crew (including she) tended to ignore his existence, only taking notice when they felt like it or if it was absolutely necessary. The shock collar that the Professor had forced her to wear recently had made it mandatory for her to pay attention to him more than usual, since it was his decision as to whether or not she'd take it off. Thus, when the mancrab had demanded to meet her parents, she couldn't refuse.

Leela had firmly told Mr. and Mrs. Turanga that she was only bringing the alien over for "professional" purposes, but that didn't stop Morris from studying Zoidberg beadily when he stepped over the threshold, nor did it keep that infuriatingly knowing glint out of Munda's eye. From her mother's convenient vocal observation of the absence of a "ring on his claw" and her obvious pleasure at finding out that he was of a medical profession, Leela caught on to her parents' motives in an instant.

And the answer was no. Purely and simply, no. She didn't have to think twice. Contrary to what they probably believed, Zoidberg was nothing short of a penniless hobo, who rooted through garbage, ate garbage, and on many occasions, smelled like garbage, too. In fact, the dumpster behind Planet Express might've been his home…

Honestly, the whole situation might not have been as bad if only he weren't a quack doctor.

So here they were strolling side by side down the darkened street on their way to her parent's house again and he was already getting on her nerves with his incessant babbling. Oh yeah, that's right – she was supposed to be pretending to listen.

"—and I tell you, Leela, I was so honored by your parent's invitation that I asked myself, 'what could Zoidberg do to show his appreciation?' And a-ha! It came to me! 'I'll dress for dinner,' I said! So then, I dug a little bit farther down into my dumpster until I found my old Uncle Zoid's hand me down tuxedo, the very same that I am wearing at this moment, you see! And now, with this fine clothing and the bath I took in the park sprinklers earlier, I will be worthy of devouring your mother's delicious cooking! Mmm yess… with the beans and the slug seasoning and the spices…ohh, the intoxicating spices…!"

Leela winced and wrinkled her nose with disgust; she knew that he was beginning to drool. It was really typical Zoidberg talk; offer him a free meal and you were automatically his friend for life. Pretty pathetic.

She was perfectly prepared to answer his remarks with a disinterested mumble when he spoke again.

"Speaking of dressing for dinner, I should compliment you, Leela – from what Zoidberg has observed, your appearance tonight is what your species would call 'appealing'! I'm sure that were there any potential mates nearby, they would become saturated with male jelly very, very quickly!"

"Uh huh, that's ni – oh… uh, thank you… Zoidberg," Completely thrown off by the unexpected topic change, Leela quickly recovered and turned to look at the lobster for the first time since they'd began their trek. Luckily, Zoidberg hadn't seemed to notice her near blunder as he was yammering on again… phew.

He'd complimented her… that was new. Leela spared her attire a glance; a simple blue dress with a modest neckline (she was going to visit her parents after all), it reached a few inches past her knees and matched her shoes. Other than that and some inexpensive jewelry, she hadn't done anything to her hair (it was still doen up in her signature ponytail) or much else. The cyclops really hadn't put a lot of effort into her outfit, but it still surprised her that Zoidberg had noticed and commented on the change at all. It was like the kind of thing that Fry or Zapp would do, but, coming from the lobster, it felt more… genuine. He wasn't trying to get in her pants, she knew. The thought made her feel a notch less irritated with the alien doctor.

Almost without her realizing, they'd arrived at the sewer cap that was located right above her parents' house. Seizing this fact, Leela shook her head as if to clear her wayward thoughts, and moved to begin the arduous task of uncapping the sewer.

"Wait, wait – let Zoidberg do the honors!" Her partner suddenly declared in third person before she could fully crouch down.

The mancrab swiftly, yet securely, fixed his claws around the sewer lid and tore it from the street as if it weighed nothing; Leela unconsciously found herself impressed… except for that trip to the gym during the mating frenzy episode, she barely ever stopped to appreciate just how strong her crustacean companion really was.

Not that she couldn't have done the same thing herself, of course – sure, it might have taken a few seconds longer, but if there was one thing that Turanga Leela had, it was pride in her fitness! Still, it was nice of Zoidberg to spare her the exertion, though.

"Thanks." She said simply.

"Anytime, my friend!" He replied cheerfully.

There was a silence that lasted for a few moments in which none of them moved. Leela looked at Zoidberg expectantly, who returned her gaze with a bland, dopey look. Why wasn't he moving? Where had this awkwardness come from?

"…Well?" She demanded, her hands on her hips.

"Well wha-at?" He sounded confused.

"Go on!" She gestured to the hole in the street that led down to the sewer.

"Ohh, but Zoidberg couldn't! I do believe that the proper human custom is 'ladies first', is it not?" He suggested, as if it was the most obvious thing in the world.

Leela blinked. She wasn't sure if she was annoyed or maybe just a bit faintly touched by his unintentional chivalry. Whatever it was, it caused her lips to quirk into what almost could have been a smile.

"Y-yeah, okay," She nodded. Why was she stuttering? "Thanks again, Dr. Zoidberg. You're a real… gentleman to have remembered that."

And with that, she grasped the slimy ladder and lowered herself down the into the sewer where hideous mutants thrived and where also her parents would be waiting with a hot, tasty dinner on the table, all ready to be dined upon by their daughter and her… friend, in a few moments.

Maybe she would be able to stand one more dinner with Zoidberg after all.