June 18th Car
You're not my wife or anything, do men even ramble to their wives about their mothers? I wouldn't know. . .not that I can't get a girl ~ ew. . .why would I want a—I mean! As a hero I have to be open to all damsels in distress, not chained down by some ~ uhh. . .—I'm getting off topic. . . seeing as you're not my wife – and we haven't known each other very long. . .ah hell, you're a fucking Hilroy notebook! I never had "parents" besides Iggy, but I think I know what a mother is like or at least mother in law. . . .Boss. it's always "Alfred stop playing the 360," "Alfred you have to go to blah, blah, blah", "Alfred are you listening? Please take out your ear buds," blah, blah, blah. . . . He's not a bad guy, but after Bush I'm kinda iffy about any president. . .I mean he seems, well is a pretty cool guy. . .and he came at the perfect time, like—like a hero! That actually makes me feel a lot better! Thanks Joe!
10:23 am, STILL IN CAR
Al. Fred. F. Jones. Al, what people usually call me (or friends I guess . . . I'm so glad Russia never calls me that! He'd ruin a perfectly good nickname). Fred. . . Freddie? UGH! NO ONE BETTER EVER CALL ME FREDDIE! FREDDIE IS NOT A HERO'S NAME. . . Stupid commie bastard, he'd probably call me Freddie just to piss me off . . . Fred, Freddie. . . Freddie Cougar? Hah, kinda cool, but Freddie wasn't a hero (and he's kinda creepy. . .). F, fucking awesome! Enough said. Jones. The best soda pop ever! I'm going to punch Russia in his big fat nose tomorrow . . . tomorrow . . . how dare he call me Freddie! Alright, time for a sna—SHIT! I hear England . . . pray for me Joe. . .
10:47 am, almost at conference
Cup of Joe! Haha! Ah, I felt like I should open with something light. Don't worry Joe . . . I'll think of a good name for you . . . eventually. Anyways, stupid "dolt" (bolt, jolt? Can't tell with his stupid accent. . .only UK has a stupid accent. . .his people are fine. . .just UK, and Russia, and France sometimes. . .Germany when he's being a jerk. . .) England makes me feel like such a kid sometimes. . .I don't even wanna talk about it. . .like. . .so we were doing some paper work at his place, and I was trying to see if this new building permit was legit for BP. . . I'd already asked UK about a dozen multiplied by five thousand questions. . .and it looked okay. . .oh God. . .I am never watching Colbert. . .at least, not for a while. . . UK's great sometimes . . . I'm not Russia or anything, but he's a good tool . . . pause, no homo.
11:23 are . . . so bored. . .
Oh my GAWD JOE! I'm so bored. . .we're supposed to be listening to—uh. . .well I forget his name. . .so I'm doodling and trying to hide my smile. See, I'm sitting next to UK, and he keeps muttering or humming, actually all them them strung together with some colourful cusses.
UK- "Grr. . .bloody gi—dum, dee, dum, dum. . ." "What the bloody. . .hmm. ..mmm…hmmm…trollic…"
I swear, he makes up words! Trollic. . .what's a trollic?
11:56 am
So I finally decided to ask UK what all those funny words meant. . . France is talking now, so naturally he's in an argument with Germany. UK looked at me like I had feathers growing out of my ears when I asked what a "trollic" was (hmph, he's the one who dresses like a fairy when he's drunk or he thinks no one is around). Mattie was about to say something when UK went off on this loooong rant. . .I checked the clock, and about half an hour passed. UK had joined in France and Germany's argument (Guess I fell asleep). I looked at Mattie and asked him to summarize what UK said. He shushed me, (was he actually listening to them?) so I wrote him some notes, there here.
~~~~
Maaaaattttiiiieeeee! Tellllll meeee
. . .we should be listening
I am! But I won't stop bothering you until you tell me
. . .A trollic is a creature of evil
Like Russia?
Al!
Go on, go on
Half human, half animal. Most common crossing between wolf man, goat, or man bird
So something like Russia
. . . It is extremely large—
Like Russia!
Alfred!
Anything else?
They live to kill, hunt and burn, don't say like Russia. . .
So. . . REALLY LIKE RUSSIA!
. . .Their minds are controlled by a mydrall or shade. . .
So his boss?
. . .their language is unpronounceable by human tongue. . .okay. . .stop snickering Al
SO LIKE RUSSIA MATTIE!
Oh. . .and they smell awful.
~~With that Mattie went back to taking notes, he was so smiling after that last one. . . .is it just me, or does that PERFECTLY describe Russia? Oh, it's just France and Germany arguing again, looks like UK gave up.
12:56
. . .I told UK about calling Russia a trollic, he blushed kinda and said that it was really harsh.
12:57
. . .I bet trollics are fat. . .
1:00 am
. . .Like Russia. . .
1:06 pm
He still looks kinda down today. . .maybe I could doodle him something? –notthatgoodofanartist-
1:32 pm
I drew this not half bad sunflower, it's actually pretty good! Great even! They're everywhere in Kansas, so I know what they look like. (Dude likes flowers. . .I think. . .)
1:34 pm
I'll just sneak it in his folder at break or something. . .
2:45 pm (after break)
! JOE! WHHHY! I GOTTA, GOTTA KEEP WRITING OR RUSSIA MAY SUSPECT ME. . . um. . .um. . .oh no. . .
2:51 pm
Okay Joe. . .tell me, if my face red? No. . .good, I think. I kinda want him to know. . .but no one knows I've been practicing my drawing lately. So he probably doesn't know it's mine. . .Ugh, that stupid—stupid . . .uh, guy'll probably rip up the picture and glare at me. . .or toss it in the garbage. . .okay. . .I'm going to look up now. . .FUCK MY LIFE! He looks exactly the same. . .Joe. . .UHHHGGHHH! He's not even looking me at me! Just the same blank expression. . .not happy. . nor sad. . .
3:07
. . . .That did not happen. . ... . .meeting is over now, and my folder fell off the table. So. . .I stayed behind. . .the only person left his Iv-Russia. So I start to pick everything up, and I don't think he knows I'm still in the room. . .Russia looks surprised now. . .OTL! HE LOOKS HAPPY! HERO'S MISSION ACCOMPLISHED! YES! Okay. . .you know, I was worried for a second Joe! BUT HE'S GIGGLING THAT FUCKING CREEPY GIGGLE! BUT IN A GOOD WAY! AWW! JOE! THIS IS GREAT! . . .how the hell do I leave with him giggling like that?