I did not want to write another oneshot. I wanted to write a chapter for one of my desperately in need of updating epic/multi-chaptered fics, but when I sat down to write, this is what came out. Hope you enjoy it, because despite not being what I wanted, it was kind of fun to write. This is set in very early days of Pokemon, when it was just Ash and Misty (just after the Samurai episode I think) so its only mildly shippy, but still shippy all the same. Note the references to Hitchhikers and Wicked.

Disclaimer: I do not own Pokemon. If I did, they totally would not have left this bit out.

Summary: Ash discovers that the Pokedex isn't just good for identifying Pokemon. Mildly Pokeshippy.

Mostly Harmless

Ash was giggling to himself as he went through the buttons on his Pokedex, smiling at what he'd just discovered. He glanced around for someone to show it to - anyone who would share his amusement - but all he could see was Misty, so sadly she would have to do.

"Misty, check this out," he said eagerly, calling the redhead towards him.

She sighed in an aggravated way, but complied out of curiosity. Although not without complaint and a cool reminder that she was only here because he owed her a bike and NOT because she thought he was cute and found him kinda charming in a lovable idiot/pointless hero kinda way.

"Whatever," he replied, not letting Misty put a damper on his spirits. "Just watch this," he said as he dramatical pointed his Pokedex in the direction of a small clove of trees. A rattata quickly darted into the space and Dexter responded in its usual manner.

"Rattata, a forest Pokemon. It likes cheese, nuts, fruits . . ." Like he wanted to hear that one again.

"I see," Misty said blandly, rolling her eyes. "Anything else incredible you want me to see?" she asked sarcastically. "Wanna show me how buttons work?"

Ash was torn between two choices: catching the suddenly appearing Pokemon and adding that to his rather small team; and proving himself to Misty by proving her obnoxiously wrong. Somehow, the desire not to look like an idiot in front of a girl (not to mention one he kinda sorta thought was kinda sorta pretty) won out. "The rattata wasn't supposed to be there," he replied looking like a sulking child. He waited for the rattata to move on and tried again. This time it worked.

"Tree," Dexter proclaimed blandly in its normal computerized fashion. "A tree is NOT a Pokemon. It is inherently weak against fire types and may have some weakness against other types depending on the size of the tree and the Pokemon in question. Sending your Pokemon to battle a tree will not end well."

Ash chuckled, looking eagerly towards Misty to see if she shared his mirth. She stared back blandly, one eyebrow cocked in his direction and her lip twitching ever so slightly as she tried to keep herself from laughing along with him.

Ash smiled, refusing to give up until Misty was smiling too even though he hardly liked her and would probably prefer the company of Dexter to hers - at least that was what he kept telling himself. If Ash had taken the time to wonder why he was so desperate to make her smile, he would probably not be happy with his own motives. Luckily Ash was not prone to introspection.

He pointed the Pokedex at another feature of their environment, glimpsing at Misty from the corner of his eyes for any change in her expression. She was smirking now, which was kind of like a smile in a way, but he had seen enough of her smirking and what he really wanted to see right now was an honest to god smile from the girl.

"Rock," Dexter stated as it locked on the and feature in question. "A rock is not a Pokemon, although it bares some resemblance to rock-type Pokemon such as geodude, onix, and graveler. The main difference between these Pokemon and a rock is the Pokemon's ability to move. Some confusion may arise where a Pokemon is remaining completely stationary (or perhaps were the rock propelled by an external force), however, where the Pokemon is concerned, this is only a temporary state of affairs, where as for rocks this is a permanent affliction."

Ash glanced at Misty and noticed that the corner of her mouth was twitching more severely now and that her shoulders were tensed. He smiled victoriously as he realized how hard Misty was trying to hold back her laughter.

"Although 'rock' is easily defeated in 'battle' by 'paper'," Dexter finished in the same toneless voice, "sending your Pokemon into battle against a rock will undoubtedly end badly."

"One more," Ash assured her, seeing that she was close to breaking. He turned the device on his friend (sort of) so that Dexter could make its classification.

"Human: Mostly Harmless."

And she broke, laughter flowing from her lips like a breached dam. It was probably one of the most beautiful sounds that he had ever heard - light and languid and pleasing to the ear - and the look on her face - the easy smile and the mirth in her teary blue-green eyes - made everything worthwhile.

'She's beautiful,' he thought awingly to himself, blushing a moment later as he realized where his thoughts had gone.

And then he thought that Dexter had most certainly got it wrong. If she could make him think things like that - make his cheeks flush and his heart race and his head reel, make him want to smile just because she was smiling - then there certainly wasn't anything harmless about her at all.

"Mostly harmless," he muttered once he had regained some of his faculties. "Not her.

"Definitely not her."

~FIN~