The Exhibitionist
Chapter One
The dawn breaks over another peaceful day in Konohagakure no Satou, the sounds of the morning gently waking people from their slumber. A rooster call echoes, but is quickly drowned out by the shouts of anger that many of the people of Konoha have grown adapted to. Indeed, the early morning sight of enraged ninja chasing a madly cackling, bewhiskered little blonde, yelling at him as they do, is something that most have accepted as a normal.
"Brat, get back here!" The cry echoed behind him as Uzumaki Naruto laughed obnoxiously, the sound grating on even his ears, as he sprinted away from his pursuers, ducking around a corner and quickly pulling up his special disguise sheet as the ninja thundered past, yelling as they did.
"Just wait til I get my hands on you, Uzumaki!" That yell made him smirk as the crazy snake lady that had thrown a dango stick at him rushed past, her trench coat dyed an embarrasing, eye-piercing pink. 'Heh, better than demon,' Naruto thought, dropping his sheet and turning around to begin on his way only to walk straight into a furious Iruka. The little blonde and his angry chuunin instructor stared at each other for a moment before Umino Iruka recovered and quickly hog-tied Naruto and dragged him back to the Academy, scolding him viciously as he went before ordering Naruto to see him after class. The boy just grinned brightly and said nothing as Iruka tied him to his seat and began the day's lesson, a refresher cours on chakra and its uses.
The stupid grin never left Naruto's face. Heh, he'd sure shown those stupid ninjas what's what!
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Iruka was confused. In fact, he hadn't been this confused since, well, ever. Uzumaki Naruto was an enigma. He goofed off, caused trouble and generally acted just like he had when he was the brats age. Everything he did was designed to attract people's attentions, usually in a negative way, but he was so happy when someone got angry at him, especially if they started yelling at him. The hostility seemed to cheer him, an odd reaction indeed, but that wasn't what had Iruka confused. What had him confused was the fact that Uzumaki Naruto was brilliant. The thought he put into his pranks, usually harmless traps, come to think of it, was nothing short of genius, and he exhibited a natural talent for hiding that was almost unbelievable. Why, then, did he do so poorly in school? His pranks were executed perfectly, right down to the human element, but every exercise that involved traps or subversion was a sure fail for the boy. Hmm, he'd have to have a talk with Naruto after school today.
Naruto, meanwhile, was oblivious to the attentions of his instructor, as well as the lesson. Laaaame. Who the heck cared about this? Pump enough chakra in to make things go boom and that was it! He just had to shake his head at the silliness of this lesson. His eyes drifted toward the clock, and he blinked when he saw that it was almost time to go. Alright, pranking time! Hehehe, he already had one planed out for the next day, one that involved paint, glue, and rope. Lots and lots of rope.
The bell rang and he jumped up, excited to be gone, when a voice rang out sharply behind him.
"Naruto, stay after. I'm going to have a long overdue talk with you." He flinched slightly as some of the other students snickered, sure that the dobe was about to get in big trouble.
"H-Hai, Iruka-sensei," Naruto stuttered in reply. The next few minutes were spent fidgeting and waiting for his punishment as Iruka waited for the last few stragglers to leave. When they were gone, Iruka sighed and looked at Naruto tiredly, pinching th bridge of his nose for a moment before beginning to speak.
"Naruto, you're brilliant. Your pranks show a foresight that not many people can claim they have and you almost always correctly predict peoples' reactions. Why, then, do you do so poorly in school?"
Naruto blinked, stunned for a moment at the unexpected compliment, before laughing and scratching the back of his head sheepishly. "Come ooon, Iruka-sensei, it's boring! School is all about lame things, like history and writing pretty and stuff. Pranks are so much cooler than school, so of course I work hard on them!" He nodded sharply, sure his logic would bring Iruka-sensei to his senses. Surprisingly, it did. The man laughed softly for a moment before sobering and looking seriously at Naruto.
"Ya know, I was a lot like you when I was your age. Prankster to the core, so I know what you're talking about, gaki. What you learn is lame, at least right now. But history is always usefull for undercover missions and calligraphy for writing mission reports, so don't deride them so easily. You didn't answer my question, though, gaki. Why don't you try during the exercises, at least?"
Becaauuuse, sensei," Naruto whined, "All my equipment sucks and no one ever helped me out like they helped Sasuke-teme! Of course I suck!"
It was Iruka's turn to blink in surprise. His teaching had been that badly neglected? He sighed, realizing he shouldn't be surprised, before looking at the fidgeting, impatient blonde in front of him. "Alright, Naruto. I have a little deal for you. I teach you rudimentary taijutsu so you're at the level you're supposed to be and help give you training advice and some actual training equipment. In return, you train as hard as you can and pay attention in class. I have trap-setting scheduled for next week, so you might actually want to listen. Deal?"
Iruka chuckled at Naruto's fervent nod. He'd get the boy so focused on training that he might even stop with his pranking. Unless, of course, he decided that pranking was, in fact training. Then things would just suck. He pushed that pessimistic thougt out of his head and reached into his desk, pulling out a scroll on basic taijutsu. He handed it to the boy, saying, "Here. I expect you to have practiced some of this by the next time I call for you to stay after."
Naruto nodded even more fervently, his eyes bright with excitement. Heh, he'd show that Sasuke-teme who was better yet!
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A/N: This idea's been bouncing around in my head for awhile now, so I figured I'd throw down the beginning and see what the world thinks. It's my first fic and I'm open to reviews of any kind except flame. Srsly, If you think this story should be burned in the fires of hell and I'm absolute scum for writing it, good for you. I don't care. I am, however, open to and encourage critical reviews on both the plot (such as it is) and my writing style. If I did something wrong, tell me and I'll fix it if I can.
On to the plot. No, this will not be a totally lame rehash of canon with a better Naruto. This Naruto will retain a lot of flamboyance, but he'll be sneakier, trickier, and more subtle. The only thing that will remain canon from this point is him stealing the Scroll of Seals, but even then the reasons will be different. On that note, reviews get you my undying thanks. And maybe a cookie.