Time

Once upon a time, there was a card.  A really bored card.  And my name...er, the card's name was (coincidentally) Time.

Oh, who am I fooling?  I don't want to sit on this stool and tell this stupid story.  My arthritis is acting up, and my eyes aren't what they used to be, so why don't you just make something fun up, missy?

(8 months later)

Oh, some great writer you are.  Can't even come up with something interesting for me to have done in all this time.

(That's not the point!  This is supposed to be a day in *your* life!  How am I supposed to write a day in your life when you won't even talk to me?)

Sounds like a personal problem to me, young lady.

Oh, all right.  Turn off the waterworks and I'll talk.  Happy?

(Yes, ojiisan*.)

Now, what were we talking about again?

(What?  I told you the first time we talked--)

Ah, well, that was quite a while ago, and I'm not as young as I used to be, if you know what I mean.

(I'm here to get your story about the day you were captured.)

What?  I was?  When was that?  Who did it?  How?

(That's what you're supposed to be telling me, ojiisan.)

Ah yes, it was on the savannahs of Africa, and we were on a big game hunt.  Suddenly, a lion sprang out at us, and the elephant ran into the jungle!  There I was, all alone, the safari was just starting for real.  I reached for my gun, but that's when I noticed a spear at my throat and--

(-_-  What are you talking about?)

You're the one who said I was captured.  I just thought I'd tell you an interesting story, since that's what you seemed to be after.

(I never had any of these problems with any of the other cards.)

Clearly, you haven't interviewed Sword yet.

(Oh yes I did!  And he STILL wasn't as bad as you are!)

He must be slipping in his old age.

(...whose old age?...)

Huh?  What did you say?

(Oh, nothing!  Please, go on ojiisan!  Tell me more!  It was Syaoran that actually captured you, right?)

Who's telling this story?  Me, or you?

(You are, of course.)

Than what do you mean by going on, spoiling the whole story by telling everyone that Syaoran won?  It was a fight to the death, I tell you!  Little boys against little girls, hair pulling, biting, scratching, and name-calling.  It was awful I tell you.  Simply awful.  Oh, the humanity!  You have no idea!

(Something tells me you're the one who has no idea.)

What?  I heard that!  You're making fun of me!

(I wouldn't dream of it.)

Yes, well.  Where were we?  Oh yes.  Hair pulling, scratching, biting, name-calling...rewinding, fast-forwarding, pause.  Stop.  Put another movie in.  Freeze frame.  Rewind.  Slow motion.  Pause.  Fast-forward.

(Wait a second.  Are we talking about reality here?  Or television?)

There's a difference?

(...)

~~~~~@~~~~~

Author's Note:

That's enough for that card.  ~washes hands of the whole mess~  Can you believe I spent eight months just trying to get him to stop changing time every time I tried to talk to him again.  What a pain.

He's behind me, the senile old coot.  That means I'll be able to go on to the next card with no trouble, right?  Wish me luck.

Without further ado, I'd like to thank my reviewers.  CoraJoy, snowykittenz, S. K.-chan, ClowSword_Wielder, Atom_Bunny, moezy-chan, ccs rox, kira, Y * Sunshine, Cecelia, Lady Moon, Tokemi, Ikari Shinji-kun, Peacewish (no, Pink Floyd didn't help at all, darnit), Cyan Moon, and Silent Seraphim.  Thank you!!!  You guys all ROCK!  I'm sorry it took so long, and I will try to get the next one up ASAP!  ~bows~

*ojiisan = old man/grandfather