Ok, its unbeta'd, but please forgive me. the idea just popped into my head!
Requirements:
Requirements for Lily Evans' boyfriend:
He must have an average grade of E in all subjects.
He must really really like me. But must not have chased me for the past five years.
He must be handsome.
He must not be a prat.
He must not wear glasses, and his eyes must be any colour but hazel.
His hair must be neat at all times and must be red, blonde, or brown. But not black.
He must not call the head girl and head boy 'bighead girl' and 'bighead boy'.
He must not annoy me.
He must not be a stuck-up prat.
I must really really like him.
He must not be obsessed about Quidditch.
He must not be a stuck-up, conceited prat.
He must not be one of the Marauders.
He must not play stupid pranks.
He must not ask me out few seconds.
He must not propose to me every few minutes.
He must not be a stuck-up, conceited, vain prat.
He must not kiss random girls in a futile attempt to 'make me jealous'.
He must not bully younger kids just for the heck of it.
He must not be a stuck-up, conceited, vain, arrogant prat.
He must not hex my best ex-best friend.
He must not injure every boy I fancy.
He must not call me 'Lily-flower' or 'Lil-ums' or 'Evans' or 'Lily-kins' or 'The Love Of My Life'.
He must be brave. Just because you're in Gryffindor doesn't mean you're brave.
He must not be a stuck-up, conceited, vain, arrogant, Quidditch-playing prat.
He must not insult teachers on a regular basis.
He must not like the marauders.
He must not be good at transfiguration. Because I'm not either.
He must not be a stuck-up, conceited, vain, arrogant, Quidditch-playing, hair-ruffling prat.
HIS NAME MUST NOT BE JAMES POTTER.
The read-head sitting at the desk put down the crinkled old parchment and smiled. Then she took out a fresh piece and wrote,
Requirements for Lily Evans' fiancé:
He must be intelligent.
He must be completely in love with me. And must have chased me for the past nine years.
He must be extremely handsome.
He must be a reformed prat.
He must wear glasses and must have hazel eyes.
His hair must stick up adorably and must be jet-black.
He must call Dumbledore and McGonagall 'head boy' and 'head girl' at the Order meetings. It amuses Dumbledore, and everyone else.
He can annoy me if he apologises and kisses me later.
He must be a reformed stuck-up prat.
I must be completely in love with him.
He must be obsessed about Quidditch. But more obsessed about me.
He must be a reformed stuck-up, conceited prat.
He must be one of the Marauders.
He must play silly pranks. They lighten the atmosphere.
He must ask me out every time he wants to take me on a date, even though I'm already his girlfriend.
He must have proposed to me.
He must be a reformed stuck-up, conceited, vain prat.
He must know that he can never make me jealous. Because he is mine.
He must be an auror, and must protect people because he likes doing it.
He must be a reformed stuck-up, conceited, vain, arrogant prat.
He must hex loads of death-eaters.
He must injure people who call me 'Beautiful' and whistle at me on the street. But not too badly.
He can call me anything he wants.
He must be brave. You know you're brave if you are a dark-wizards-catcher in a war of good versus evil, as well as in a secret order fighting the dark.
He must be a reformed stuck-up, conceited, vain, arrogant, Quidditch-playing prat. He must absolutely LOVE playing Quidditch.
He must be rude to certain people on a regular basis. The ones who deserve it.
He must be best friends with Moony, Wormtail, and Padfoot.
He must be amazing at transfiguration, because I'm not.
He must be a reformed stuck-up, conceited, vain, arrogant, Quidditch-playing, hair-ruffling prat. He must ruffle his hair regularly, because it is absolutely adorable.
HIS NAME MUST BE JAMES POTTER.
The redhead looked up at her fiancé, who had just entered the room, and silently handed him both lists. He smiled slightly as he read the first one. "Fifth year?" he asked. She nodded. Then she watched as a grin slowly spread across his face as he read the second one.
He walked up to the redhead and pulled her into his arms. Then he said softly, still pressing her close to him, "Do I fit all the requirements of the second list?"
She blushed slightly, and then replied, just as softly. "Stupid reformed prat." And then she raised her head and kissed him softly on the lips. "James Potter, you most definitely fit all the requirements."
So, you know what to do. Review if it sucked, and review if it didnt.
bookwurm7