Just a little something I came up with in the wee small hours. A little drabble to tickle your funny bone ... Incidentally, this is my first Dramione with no interference from Malfoy Sr! (Not technically sure you can call it a Dramione though!)

As for Sense of Taste ... sorryyyyyyy! My muse for that one seems to be on holiday at the moment, but I have left it several voicemails and texts asking for it to return. Fingers crossed. If you follow my work on GE or TPP there are lots more goodies on there.

In the meantime, I hope this makes you giggle. It is written entirely in conversation, until the end.

'How did I ever let you talk me into doing this with you, Malfoy?'

'I could tell you've been curious about it for a while, Granger. Come on – you couldn't wait to see it up close!'

'I know, but I didn't know I was going to have to get my hands all over it.'

'Shut up and get on with it, Granger. You could at least pretend to enjoy it.'

'I must admit ... it is intriguing.'

'Help me undo the clasps, will you? We can't do anything if it isn't out!'

'I'm trying – your fingers are in the way.'

'Slow down. It won't work if you do it like that.'

'I can't get it out.'

'That's because it's so big.'

'Done it! At last! God, you're right – I've never seen such an enormous one.'

'Hold it, will you? Gently – you don't want to scratch it.'

'I can hardly get my fingers round it.'

'I know – impressive, isn't it? You've got to look after it properly though. If it's neglected it won't do the job.'

'Well, tell me what you want then.'

'I always think a little oil helps.'

'OK. I'll just rub it onto my hands. Alright – ready.'

'Start at the top and massage it in.'

'Like that?'

'That's good.'

'It's very smooth and hard.'

'You're doing a great job. Just go easy to start with; build it up slowly.'

'Is that right?'

'Yeah – now, start to use both hands, one further down.'

'It feels good under my fingers; the oil makes them glide so easily.'

'I know. Pay special attention to the tip. That's the most magical part.'

'Like that?'

'Absolutely. You've done this before, haven't you?'

'Well, I had a go with Harry's once.'

'His isn't as big as mine though.'

'Not even close.'

'Now, work your way down the shaft.'

'It's even broader further down.'

'Keep going. Use more oil – you need to keep it well-lubricated. Some people even say a little saliva works wonders.'

'You want me to spit on it?'

'You could do. I wouldn't complain.'

'OK ... I guess I could ...'

'That's it. You see? It really brings it up. Don't stop the hands though. All the way round, nice and hard.'

'There's so much to grab onto.'

'You seem to be managing.'

'I'm rather enjoying it actually.'

'You're a natural, Granger.'

'So why exactly did you need me to do this?'

'Well, I normally do it myself, but it benefits from someone else doing it sometimes. The end-result is far better. Besides, I have to do it myself so often that my wrist starts to ache after a while.'

'I don't mind having a go. It feels so good ... hard and warm and firm ... it just glides through my hand. I can feel it responding to my touch.'

'I know – it is.'

'If you ever want me to do this again, just ask.'

'That would be really great. It's nice seeing a different side to you, Granger.'

'I know, Malfoy. I'm glad you asked. I never would have dreamed of it otherwise. I'm really amazed at the size of this thing. I didn't think I'd ever get so close to it. How's that? I think we've nearly finished.'

'Just a little more, just there ... that's it, a bit more ... harder, round the top again ... there, yeah, and again ... that's it! You've done it!'

'Phew, that was hard work, but definitely worth it.'

'I'll say.'

'Do you have to put it away again now?'

'Yeah, I'm afraid so. There – tucked away safe and snug.'

'I'd really like to see it again. I could do it for you some more another time, if you want.'

'I'd like that. Next week?'

'Can't wait.'

And as Hermione Granger turned to go with a smile, Draco Malfoy replaced his well-oiled Quidditch broomstick back in its case and locked it in the cupboard ready for the match.

;) x

As usual, reviews go down very nicely. xxx

I did write a longer version of this with ... extra bits ... I could do it as a second part, if you'd like - let me know.