Title: Operation Doppelganger
Author:eveliens/eeevee
Genre : humor/ romance (?)
Characters: America, Canada, Russia; one-sided RussiaxAmerica, CanadaxRussia
Rating: T for some language and implied sexual situations
Warnings: snarky!Canada, human names, highschool AU
Summary: Matthew had thought this over a million times, now he just had to voice his idea. He cleared his throat and whispered, "Hey, you want my twin brother, I like you; I think we can work something out here."
A/N: Written for my best friend's birthday. The idea jumped me and wouldn't let go.

Disclaimer: I do not own Hetalia or any of the characters. This is a not-for-profit fanwork.

Chapter One

There were times with Matthew Williams wished he was an identical twin instead of a fraternal. It wasn't often because he didn't really enjoy being chased and screamed at for womanizing that he hadn't done, but now was one of those times. Of course, looks wouldn't do much without his brother's insufferably charismatic and blinding personality. Mathew ruefully thought that he could look like a model out of a magazine and it wouldn't do him a lick of good when he acted like a mouse.

And like a mouse, he was watching passively.

Specifically he was watching a certain Russian exchange student watch his brother. Except calling it 'watching' was like calling a lion ripping up a baby zebra playing. The heavy blond was devouring Alfred with his violet eyes and all but drooling all over the floor.

And his idiot brother was completely oblivious! The dumbass was flirting merrily with a group of girls, showing off his biceps and doing whatever dumb things football captains tended to do to impress the ladies.

"Moron." Matthew muttered to himself, disgusted once again with his brother. And it wasn't even Alfred's fault this time. Not like the last time where his brother's stupidity involved his very treasured X-box and some beer. Man, he had been pissed, and by the end of his tirade Alfred was cowering wide-eyed against their bedroom wall.

But of course Alfred wouldn't notice. He had a reputation that rivaled the Italian twins, who both seemed to be socially retarded in all other aspects other than romance, with the ladies. It wasn't like the dunce was particularly romantic—he wouldn't know that that was if it bit him in the butt—but he was good looking and easy going. And Mathew was just his cute but not-particularly-sexy brother who was small and disappeared. With the good grades and a love of mathematics and space, so he was a nerd to boot. Just a huge lady magnet, that was him.

It was a good thing he was gay or he would probably never get laid.

Alfred now had his best friend, a quiet boy from Japan, in a headlock and was demonstrating some fake karate move or other. Kiku's frantic voice could be faintly heard as he tried to pull the arms around his throat and chest off enough to breathe again. Matthew glanced at the Russian, who was now glowering openly, clearly miffed (or jealous?) about Kiku's monopoly of Alfred's affections. Matthew was sure Alfred simply hugged and touched the Japanese boy because he knew it made Kiku flustered. You never saw him hanging on his other best friend, Arthur, that way (and if he did it would be short lived; Arthur had a mean right hook when provoked).

But the Russian, Ivan, couldn't know that. After all, he had just transferred two weeks ago. It hadn't taken him long to accomplish two things: get hopelessly tangled in Alfred's heroic charisma (Alfred loved transfer students; he could manipulate the unsuspecting students into believing he was on par with God) and had proceeded to creep out and or terrify the rest of the student body (which resulted in that particular section of the bleachers being completely deserted; it was a boon for Matthew because he always had a terrible time in crowds, they just tramped him).

Matthew couldn't say what attracted him to Ivan. Big and scary was not only counter to his existence but simply not his type. His last boyfriend had been well-built, but not particularly tall, with a shock of white hair and a wild grin. His activities were even more wild than his looks, hence the quick, bloody death of their short relationship. Matthew's parents ensured that. Alfred never even noticed. Hell, he still kept trying to hook Matthew up with his leftovers out of "generosity." Matthew wished he would hook him up with his delicious looking Spanish tutor instead. He was sure he could get a lot more out of the lessons than Alfred did, considering he only kept his Spanish grade up high enough to stay on the team.

I should go over and talk to him, Matthew fretted, and idly chewed on a hangnail. If I weren't such a wimp I would've got his attention the first day, Alfred be damned.

That was a silly notion. He had never been able to compete with Alfred for attention. It was the tragic element to their twinhood. Matthew might get more attention if he were an unborn lump on Alfred's abdomen, the twin that was not quite absorbed in the womb.

You could just talk to him, Matthew coached himself. He probably is lonely and confused. He'd like a friend.

A friend.

But friendship could turn into something more?

Oh, that's such bull. Matthew thought to himself and brushed a curl away from his eyes. Just because he was gay didn't mean he believed those cheesy chick flicks about soul mates and deep, adoring love. Besides, he wasn't sure he wanted deep love. That seemed pretty heavy for someone in his first year of college. Wasn't college a time to explore? Without his parents' intervention this time. He had a feeling Ivan wouldn't meet the standards set for their precious angel anymore than Gilbert had.

Gathering his courage, he picked his way down the metal bleachers. Normally he would pay more attention the where he was going but it wasn't because he was a klutz, his chosen sports being hockey and basketball, both of which got him mocked mercilessly for being too short, too little, too cute. He really shouldn't have aimed the puck at the guy's face, no matter how much of an asshole he had been. But that was why God made face guards after all; to protect dumb brutes so they could spread their superior genes across the female populace willy-nilly.

He wasn't a klutz but it was hard to keep your balance when your brother, who must be part howler monkey, screams your name, startling you as you were stepping down. So down he went, right on top of the staring Russian.

Hadn't Matthew just thought he didn't believe in hokey girlie films where the dashing prince catches the blushing damsel? He wasn't a damsel, and to make it even more awkward he landed face first in Ivan's rather generous lap between his legs.

Something that shouldn't have even been physically possible!

"That's so gay!" Alfred was howling with uncontrollable laughter, unaware how close his comment hit home. He was trying to gasp out more, probably more blithering insensitivity, but was choking on his own spit and turning purple. Served him right.

Matthew flushed to match his hoodie but made no move to extract himself in any hurry. Thank God he opted for looser jeans because the tight ones might have been too tight at this moment. It was bad enough that his nose was inches away while the top of his head leaned into Ivan's surprisingly firm tummy. He could feel the body heat that went with intimacy rolling off the thick legs that surrounded him and he could only imagine how it would look and feel if there weren't pants between them.

A strong hand clamped down on the back of his hoodie and he was pulled backwards easily. Dangling an inch or so above the riser but still uncomfortably close, Matthew dared to look up. The first thing his eyes met were pink, chapped lips. A tongue flicked out to wet them before sliding back in behind white teeth and a teasing smile. He continued up, taking in the strong, defined nose that dominated the rather rounded face. But he was fixated on the eyes. They were a very particular shade of violet and… surprisingly open. He could read the innocent surprise and delight in them. He could read other things too, things that were not so nice and innocent, but those two emotions stuck out the most.

And that took Matthew off guard. He had practically made a career of reading people after being ignored for his entire life. It was easy to read people when you could stare at them, see their moves, their actions.

Well, and it didn't hurt that he was a psychology major.

And it was rare to see someone who didn't look through him.

" That was very clumsy of you, da?"

Matthew wasn't surprised by his voice. It was easy enough to hear his childish lit for even the most amateur stalker. Ivan's voice was very distinct.

"It was Alfred's fault." Matthew replied softly, trying not to sound pendulant. After all, his brother had inadvertently scored him an opening. He felt his knees press against the metal riser beneath him and struggled not to tip after Ivan let go of him.

The object of his irritation had finally caught his breath and was climbing the bleachers towards them with a wide smile.

"Hey Mattie, that was such a cool flip-twirl-thing, but I think your aim was a bit off. You were awfully close to giving the dude a blowjob. Ivan, my man, how are you doing today?"

"I am well. And you?"

"Doing awesome, as usual." Alfred chuckled, his sky blue eyes twinkling, a sure indication he had chugged a grande carmel frappe, complete with whip cream, sauce and sprinkles—Alfred was such a child sometimes-, within the last two hours. "You settling in okay, big guy? You seem to be getting the lay of the land."

If Alfred was referring to the fact that Ivan could find the football field, well, that wasn't much of a compliment. The football dome as it should really be called was as big as the school. It was decked out with a moveable awning, high powered halide lights, an announcer's box with the latest PA equipment, and meticulous astro turf. It was Alfred's wet dream; he got to beat the other team to a pulp physically and psychologically while looking fabulous doing it. Matthew thought it was a huge waste of tax dollars. The science department had leaky roofs for heaven's sake! Not to mention the deplorable and downright dangerous parking situation.

"I am slowly becoming accustomed to your campus. It is quite lovely to look at."

Alfred stared blankly.

"The trees are very gorgeous, they must be centuries old, and I especially appreciate the sunflower field that borders the back of the campus." Ivan elaborated.

"Er, yeah, we've got cool, uh, plants and shit here."

Matthew grinned a little as he watched his brother flail around, out of his element. While Alfred enjoying being outside, doing manly things as he called it, he wasn't a huge fan of nature. The last time they had gone camping, he had spent most of the time complaining about the got damn bugs the size of rats and the lack of internet access. The only time he shut up was when they were doing something physical, like climbing a sheer rock face on a dare… without any safety cords. That was such a rush.

"The oaks date back to before the Civil War." Matthew added shyly. He had meant it to come out strong and know-it-all but it just sounded squeaky to his ears. Ivan started and looked down. Matthew looked away with a blush, realizing it had taken less than a minute to be forgotten. Despite practically sitting on the other boy's feet.

"Hey, I gotta an idea!" Both Matthew and Ivan winced as Alfred screeched. Howler monkey, really, just saying. "Mattie, why don't you show Ivan around a bit more? Like, you know, that science place you go to when you do your labs. I'd totally do it, but, you know, practice." More like Alfred was allergic to places of learning.

"I-I don't mind."

Yes! Matthew knew there was a reason he didn't strangle Alfred in the womb.

"That would be satisfactory." Ivan nodded, "Although, who are you? It would be nice to have a name, da?"

Matthew tried not to get his hopes up; people forgot his name all the time.

"Matthew. I'm Alfred's twin brother."

He tried not to shiver as the violet eyes rolled over him, registering that he did, in fact, look quite a bit like Alfred. He looked between the two for a moment more. Both stood still after years of scrutiny. With a slight chuckle, he gave a childish smile: "It is like a mirror, da?"

Alfred looked horrified, "Nu-uh!"

Matthew stuck his tongue out at his brother, who ignored him, still looking mildly dismayed about the Russian's comment. Alfred gave them both a friendly thump on the shoulders and went off towards the field.

"Matvey," Ivan carefully stood, towering over him, "I am Ivan. It is nice to make your acquaintance, da?"

Matthew thought that sounded a little too close to his brother's hated nickname for him (Mattie was a girlie name after all!) but he didn't comment. If Ivan wanted to call him Matvey, he was cool with that. "Um, yeah. Why don't I show you the labs?"