Willow buries herself under the blankets and the tears stop. Sighing, she grabs the old shirt she keeps on his nightstand. As she pulls it to her chest she breathes in deeply and loses herself in memories. Here, in this room, in this bed, she can pretend he never left her. He could be on the other side of the bed, fast asleep, with that adorably relaxed expression of his. Or he could be a few doors away, in the bathroom, instead of anywhere in the world but here. He could be hers again.

She's been coming here almost every night. She knows it will only hurt her in the end, but it's the only way she can fall asleep anymore. This fragile illusion gives her exhausted mind some temporary peace. Here, in this room, she can breathe again. She inhales his scent and drifts off.

The next night, she twists the doorknob of the familiar door. She needs to be inside, to feel him. But when she finally steps over the threshold, her breath catches in her throat. It's gone. It's all gone. There's a note on the bed. He sent for his stuff.

She doesn't know how, but she's on the floor, curled up on her side. He's gone. The loss hits her over and over and over again, like waves breaking on the shore, and she's falling, falling, falling under the water. He's gone. Each time hurts more than the last as it finally sinks in. Her illusion has shattered. He's not here, and he never will be. It's time to face what she has known from the beginning. He's not coming back.

She's gasping for breath, but the air gives her no relief. She knows she's not suffocating, but that's how it feels. Like someone pushed a pillow over her face and she has to find a way to keep breathing. Keep living. And she will. Eventually. But not tonight. She can't. The loss is too fresh, the wounds not even close to healing. This empty room has ripped them all wide open, and they are worse than ever for trying to soothe them with pretend. Pretending he was here at night. Pretending he was coming back.

Thanks for reading. This is my first fanfic, so reviews would be greatly appreciated.