Woah-woah-four-months-whaaaattt?

Please don't kill me

CH.5-A Wedding to Remember

Sakura felt like she was dreaming. From the minute she woke up to Tomoyo's shrill screams and shaking, rushing her to her house to get ready, to the primping and prepping that Tomoyo insisted on, to the meeting up with her bridesmaids and screaming and squealing of happiness (how much squealing has she done this past year anyway?), and finally to right now, sitting in front of a mirror in one of the many rooms the wedding chapel provided.

Wedding. Her wedding. She was getting married. Today.

"Oh my god, Sakura," Tomoyo said, sobbing. "I can't believe you're getting married! Everything's so perfect, you're so beautiful! I just…I can't believe it!"

Sakura just dimly nodded in response. She stared at the mirror of the vanity cabinet she was sitting in front of, and watched Tomoyo bustle around her, fixing a piece of hair here, some makeup there. She felt exactly like Tomoyo. She couldn't believe this.

She only had to look at herself to see why. Her white wedding dress was strapless, with a tight bodice to narrow her waist, before flaring out to the ground like a princess dress. There were diamonds scattered all over her chest, but the rest was just simple chiffon that fell to the ground naturally. Simple and natural, just what Tomoyo was going for. Her makeup was also minimal, the tiniest hint of blush, with eyeliner and mascara. Her hair was down, since there wasn't much you could do with short hair. She didn't really mind; at least she could see one familiar trait about her.

Tomoyo just enhanced Sakura's best traits, and now she was beautiful. But…she wasn't her. Sakura wasn't vain, but she wasn't blind either. She knew she was pretty, with a good personality that attracted guys, but she never thought herself as graceful as Tomoyo, or mysteriously beautiful as Yelan Li. But now she was beautiful. Her skin was flawless, her eyes large, and her hair, which she always thought of as cute before, made her look mature now. Every move that Sakura made, even if it was a fidget or spasm in pain (Beauty is pain, Sakura, Tomoyo had crooned as she unexpectedly plucked at her eyebrows), made her seem graceful. Where was the little kid that fell out of bed every morning, made a mess getting ready, and always arrived to school panting and out of breath? Where was the person who just yesterday, tripped down the stairs and pouted while Syaoran made fun of her the rest of the day? Gone, that's where. She couldn't recognize herself at all. She didn't look in the mirror and see herself about to get married, she saw a stranger staring back at her, as if she was watching from the sidelines.

"Hi, what's your name?" A bubbly, fifteen-year old was hovering over the only unfamiliar face in her grade ten class, but the serious-faced boy sitting in front of her just stared back disinterestedly.

"I don't give my name out to annoying girls."

She blinked, taken aback. "Well, maybe if you knew me you would see I'm not an annoying girl!"

He scoffed. "I've seen enough already," he said. "You're one of those girls who is so nice everyone can't help but love her, but the minute some cynic like me shows up and doesn't like her, she breaks down and latches on to me, trying to prove to her self-esteem that not one person in the world can ever hate her. It's amazing how desperate some can get. I mean, it's bad enough having four sisters who call you kawaii every five seconds, but random girls deciding to treat you as an experiment to try to convert me…my childhood was terrifying, I tell you. One time…"

She waited patiently, while he raged against his horrific childhood experiences of girls swarming around him thinking his anti-social behavior was oh so cute, and waited a few seconds after he had finished before asking, "Do you tell all the annoying girls that?"

He paused, and then tried to cover up his hesitation, but then he didn't know what to say, and it all resulted in a spluttering mess of "N-n-n-no of course not! I mean, yes! Well, sometimes!"

She laughed at his quickly reddening face and said, "I guess I'm just better at being annoying, aren't I? By the way, my name is Sakura. Sakura Kinomoto."

She walked away, and immediately he shook his head, willing the blush on his cheeks to fade. "Sakura," he mouthed, testing out the name. He watched her flit around the classroom, asking how everyone's summer had gone, and he found himself hoping that this wouldn't be the last time she bothered him. She was exactly like one of those annoying girls, and yet…

"My name is Syaoran Li."

"Do you think Syaoran will like this?" she asked tentatively. "I don't even look like myself. I can't even see myself."

Meiling was the first to laugh. Actually, she burst out in huge, gasping laughs. "If he doesn't like you like this," she managed to say, "then he is not a man."

They all laughed with her. "Syaoran will love you no matter what," Rika said soothingly. "You have always been beautiful to him."

Sakura smiled at her best friends, but they couldn't calm her. No, she wasn't worried about Syaoran anymore, but more worries just popped up.

"But what about if I trip down the aisle? Or if I spill something on this dress? Or if I forget somebody's name at the reception!" She was nervous, and she was building herself into a frenzy.

Tomoyo opened her mouth to comfort Sakura, but her cell phone rang. Rolling her eyes, muttering, "What now?" she flipped it open, waiting for the other person to speak.

The others watched as Tomoyo's face turned into a scowl, an unbelieving tone in her voice as she said, "My god, Eriol, you do realize you're the best man right?" She hung up before he could respond and said in that same incredulous voice, "Eriol forgot the rings. And instead of getting them himself, he made Syaoran get them."

"Damn him!"

There was barely a pause as Sakura continued her summer math homework, letting out a generic, "What did he do this time?" She had known Syaoran long enough to know that the only person who could get him this emotional was his own cousin, Eriol Hiragizawa.

"He's coming to Tomoeda."

This time, Sakura looked up. "Really?" she asked, and Syaoran narrowed his eyes at the excited look on her face.

"Yeah…why are you so happy?" He wasn't jealous, of course. He just…didn't think they would be a good match. Eriol wasn't good enough for anyone, especially her. Not that she was special, of course. Of course not, no siree…

"Don't you think he would be perfect with Tomoyo? Maybe he'll ask her to homecoming this year!"

He thought about it, and slowly he could see an evil plot forming. They both snooped too much into other people's business, they both annoyed him, although Eriol was worse, and they were both creepy. They even had special grins just for scaring the wits out of everyone around them. And if Eriol had a lady friend to entertain, he wouldn't be around the house to annoy him. Meiling was bad enough…

"You know what? That's not a bad idea."

There was a long pause as the girls just looked at each other, trying to hold in laughs. "You're man is one lazy guy, Tomoyo," Chiharu finally said, shaking her head.

They laughed again, and Tomoyo said to Sakura, "I'm so sorry Eriol is such a bastard. When he gets married I'll make sure Syaoran does nothing besides watch him and laugh."

Sakura inwardly frowned at Tomoyo's harsh words, but ignored it. "Thinking of getting married, then?"

Tomoyo blushed, lowering her face. "If he asks me," she whispered softly. The next second she brightened up, saying, "But this isn't about me! This day is all about Sakura and Syaoran!" There were stars in her eyes. "We should follow a Western tradition I've read about."

Sakura knew she was just distracting them from her and Eriol, but went along with it. "And what tradition is that?"

Tomoyo recited, "Something old, something new, something borrowed, something blue, and a silver sixpence in your shoe. If you have all those things on you when you get married, it'll bring good luck."

She studied Sakura carefully. "Well the dress is new, of course. I just finished it a couple weeks ago. You're wearing your mother's veil, which has been passed down for generations so that's your something old. Your garter," and here she winked, "is blue, which I'm sure Syaoran will find entertaining."

Curse the blush that crept up Sakura's face! Ooh, Tomoyo seemed ready to faint as she saw the "blushing bride."

After slipping a one yen coin into Sakura's shoe, muttering, "It'll have to do," Tomoyo tapped her chin with her finger, pretending to think.

"What else is there?" she pretended to muse, mentally going through all of Sakura's accessories.

Suddenly she pointed her finger up, in an 'Aha!' pose. She scurried away momentarily, only to appear with a large, rectangular velvet box, obviously carrying some sort of jewelry.

She opened it to reveal a diamond necklace. It wasn't elaborate, with a diamond teardrop as the centerpiece and small swirls and dots decorating it. Everyone seemed to sigh at how perfectly it matched the small diamonds dotting Sakura's dress. Tomoyo gently placed it around Sakura's neck, and murmured, "Something borrowed."

And then they were both sobbing, clutching one another while Tomoyo's hand fluttered over Sakura's face, making sure her makeup wasn't ruined. Really, they didn't know why they were crying, because this was going to be the happiest day of Sakura's life. She was getting married to the man she loved.

"I think…Eriol's been good for me."

Sakura looked up, surprised, and yet secretly delighted. "Is that so?" she asked cautiously, trying to keep the excitement out of her voice. "Have you gotten over that other person you would never tell me about?"

"I think so. He's shown me what it's like to truly be happy. And I've known for a while that the one I used to love the most has another person. It is true that I was happy as long as my person was happy, but I've realized that the person you truly love the most will do anything to make you happy as well."

Sakura's eyes were shining. "I'm glad you've found another person," she said, grabbing her hands. "And I'm sure your person is glad you've moved on too, especially since they have someone as well. Are they together?"

Tomoyo paused, looking at Sakura's face. "Not yet," she said. "But they will. They're meant to be."

Just as suddenly as they started crying, they pulled back and burst out laughing. "I don't know why I'm so nervous," Sakura admitted, dabbing away at the tears. "I know we're madly in love with each other, and Syaoran promised nothing would keep him from the wedding. I don't have anything to be nervous about."

Tomoyo laughed. "It's just normal to be nervous," she said. "It's like a tradition. A bit of doubt that something will happen to ruin your perfect day."

A frantic knocking was heard at their door, interrupting Tomoyo. They both turned their heads toward the noise in confusion. Sakura's heart dropped at the sound.

"Syaoran, do you mind if I walk home with you today? Touya's mad at me for not helping to clean the house yesterday, and he told me he wouldn't go home with me anymore, but if I walked home alone he would tell Otou-san about the time I got hit in the head with a soccer ball and how I didn't tell him because I thought he would be worried. He's so mean, don't you think? Do you think he's serious? I hope not, sometimes I get scared walking by myself, especially if I have to stay after for cheerleading practice and it gets dark. Oh Syaoran, you have soccer practice, right? Maybe you could walk home with me instead!"

They walked home in silence, Syaoran not exactly consenting, but not telling her to go away, either. It was weird, how this bubbly girl had wormed her way into his life, when in his sixteen years of life he had had only one friend, his cousin Meiling. Sometimes he considered his other cousin, Eriol, a friend, but only rarely. He wasn't even sure that counted, because they were family. But somehow, this girl had formed a relationship with him that no person ever had before, and she brought others with her. And maybe…he didn't really mind at all. He had even gone to Eriol's room the other day, just to talk. He smiled as he remembered the confused tone Eriol had, and how he accused him of planning something. As he glanced at the happy girl who was still talking about something he wasn't paying attention to, his smile grew. And it was a smile that for some reason, he didn't show anyone else.

"Oh! It's raining!"

Far from dismayed, Sakura beamed up at the sky and laughed, twirling around as the drops fell harder. "We don't usually get much rain in late January!"

Just like that, he paused, his smile gone. "January twenty-fifth," he said quietly. To his shock, he found himself tearing up, and he hastily walked forward, avoiding the inquisitive look Sakura was sending him. How had she made him forget what day it was?

"Syaoran!" he heard her call, as he broke into a sprint. "Syaoran, wait!"

In no time, she had caught up with him. How pathetic, and she was just a girl. But yet, he allowed her to take his hand and lead him to the nearby Penguin Park, obediently taking shelter under the giant King Penguin.

They were silent for a long time, Sakura just staring at him, and him staring at the ground. Sometime during their silence her hand had found his, and she rubbed circles on it soothingly, just letting him know she was here.

He liked that. He liked her.

His face came up sharply at that thought, but Sakura took it as a sign that he was ready.

"Why are you so sad?"

And then his confused feelings were overtaken by depressing ones, and he knew she wasn't just asking about today. She was asking about everything, about why he was so reserved, why he was alone, why some seemingly insignificant things bothered him. Why he didn't like watching television, or hearing the news, or why he always skipped those courses for planning the future…

"I ran away from home."

She seemed a little confused. Okay, so that wasn't exactly the place he was expecting to start at, either, but he found himself continuing, spilling out his life story.

"You might not know this, but I come from a family where power means everything, and we have a lot of it. Our family, or more accurately our clan has unlimited influence in Hong Kong, China, Taiwan...pick any place on the map and we have connections there. And all of this power is held by one person: the leader of the Li clan."

There you have it, Sakura, he thought to her. I'm famous, my family is famous, and I don't like listening to the news because it's always filled with every little action from my family. I don't think about the future, because mine is already set. No deviation.

"I'm the future leader, and I'm sure you've guessed that. I wasn't exactly ecstatic about it, but I wasn't unhappy either. It's a life that has its pros and cons, and I was trained from birth solely to take over the clan. It was the only life I knew. And until I was fourteen, it was the only life I wanted."

A year ago exactly. Has it really been that long? In a year his life had changed dramatically; so much that his old life seemed like a distant memory.

"It took me so long to find out," he continued, "and even longer to confirm it. Meiling said her parents told her, but they didn't want it to get back to me. No one wanted me to know, even though I should."

"What did you find out?" she asked, and Syaoran saw that she was struggling to figure out his convoluted tale, using only his vague hints. He sighed. It was…hard, trying to tell someone what happened to him, how one moment made his life so clear and yet so doubtful at the same time. But he looked at the girl in front of him, who he had known for less than a year, and he saw happiness. He saw a friend, and he saw possibilities and choices.

"Last year on this day I found my mother crying in her room before a picture of my father. It was his two year death anniversary."

Sakura was ecstatic a minute ago. Now, she couldn't ignore the feeling of foreboding in her chest. Go away, she mentally said to the visitor. Don't ruin my perfect day.

"Coming!" Tomoyo called, cheerful as ever. She was oblivious to the urgency of the visitor, dismissing it as excitement for a wedding.

As the visitor and her conversed, though, Tomoyo's smile slid off her face. She looked back at Sakura with a horror-stricken expression, and Sakura knew it wasn't good.

The words seemed so alien to her, although the meaning was clear. "You found out?" she said slowly, eyebrows furrowed together in concentration. "As in, you didn't know before?"

He sighed sadly. "They kept it from me, because he died from exhaustion and overworking himself. They thought I would back out from my title if I knew the stress that came with it, but they were fools. I had already experienced the pressure and anxiety as they kept adding to my workload since my father wasn't there anymore. I'm strong; I can handle it, but they didn't seem to think so.

They. The Elders. They were the villains throughout his whole life, but now…was he really free of them? He felt a slight twinge as he remembered he had left Meiling to fend for herself, but he waved it away. She was here now, wasn't she? She was safe.

"What made me leave," he continued, and Sakura snapped her mouth shut, cutting off the questions she was about to ask. "What made me leave was something I realized."

This was it. This was why he didn't like to talk to others, because there were some things in his life that he wasn't proud of. Sakura would see him as a monster, definitely. She was the happy-go-lucky type of girl who probably wouldn't even understand what he felt.

"I realized that the reason it was so easy to keep my father's death from me was because I honestly didn't care."

He quickly turned away, partly from shame and partly because he was shocked at the tears dripping down his face. He waited for Sakura to gasp in outrage, yell 'how could you say such a thing?' and storm away, but he didn't want her to. He needed someone to help him sort out his thoughts and memories, because he left to get a clear head, to think about what happened away from the craziness that caused it all. Suddenly he saw his family for what it was: persuasion, profit, personal gain. He hated it, and yet he loved it. He needed to be a part of it, but he had to figure out how.

He felt the soft hand on his shoulder and stiffened, slowly turning around. She was still there, beautiful as ever, with a kind smile adorning her face. She held out a handkerchief, gently wiping a few tears off his face before softly closing his hand over it.

"This was my mother's," Sakura told him, keeping her hands around his. "My father told me she would always say to try to stay happy, but when you feel sad, there's no shame in crying and letting it out." She smiled brighter. "You need this more than I do. There's nothing wrong with crying."

He looked at it wordlessly, and he knew Sakura understood the thanks he was trying to say. He glanced up, mouth still gaping…and then he ran away, leaving Sakura dot-eyed behind him.

Something had changed between them, he knew. He ran away from enchanting eyes and sweet smiles and wondered when he had stopped seeing her as one of those 'annoying girls.' Hell, he even wondered when he had stopped seeing her as 'reluctant friend' to…what? A true friend? A major crush? A…soulmate? His body flooded with warmth as he thought of her soothing touch, and he skidded to a halt.

For the first time in his life, Syaoran Li felt love.

Syaoran promised, she insisted as she listened to Tomoyo gently explain to her that Eriol called her before to say that Syaoran left two hours ago to fetch the rings, and that he hadn't returned. That he wasn't here. They weren't sure where he was, if he got into an accident or if he…left.

"He promised!" Sakura yelled out loud, denying what she heard. "He promised," she repeated, shaking her head. "He wouldn't do this."

She got up slowly, wrenching her arm free from Tomoyo's grasp. She ignored the words of her bridesmaids, pleading her to stay. She knew she was running, but it all seemed like slow motion to her. She brushed past Eriol, who was standing outside the door, and ignored the apologies he was yelling after her. She didn't stop running until she reached the wedding chapel doors, and threw them open.

All eyes turned to her instantly. The murmuring amongst them died as they saw the bride, tears flowing down her cheeks, chest heaving, hair in a wild mess. Sakura looked at their faces and while there were different emotions among all of them, confusion, anger, sorrow; one underlying feeling was present in the whole room.

Pity.

She didn't need their pity. She needed answers.

Another quick glance told her no one here knew anything, so she darted away before the mob could reach her.

"Are we making this a tradition now?" Sakura teased, closing her eyes and feeling the night breeze tousle her hair. She lay back, contented, before cracking an eye open and glancing at the boy next to her. "This is the third time we've done this, did you know?"

"I like to lose myself in them. It makes me feel hopeful."

She stayed silent, uncomfortable. Syaoran Li was the strangest boy she had ever met, and there was still an awkward air between them since he told her his reasons for coming to Japan. They had known each other for over a year, and she felt like she knew more about him than anyone else combined, but that was nothing because there was just so much more to figure out. It was hard, treading the narrow path of friendship that he cleared, and sometimes it was just strange, spending time with this boy day after day and she couldn't even tell what his favorite color was.

He suddenly beamed at her, eyes crinkling and grin stretched wide. "Hey, what's your sign?"

And yet, it was so worth it. Every smile, every laugh, every friendly gesture from him just made her heart feel like bursting because he was her pet project and she could see the differences. He was becoming more open, slowly but surely, and every night she would dream about the day when he would laugh without thinking, smile at strangers, feel completely at ease with people other than her. It was sad, really, how obsessed she was with him. But she was sure the path would widen, widen until she wouldn't be able to see the sides anymore, and then she would have an amazing friend, one who could complement her perfectly and always have a special connection with because it would be her who helped him grow into the person he was meant to be. He would become…perfection.

"Aries."

She knew what Syaoran meant when he said he liked to get lost in the stars. She stared at the night sky above her and she couldn't explain the contented feeling she had, the idea that all her worries could fall to earth while she could soar high above them.

She decided that star gazing would be her and Syaoran's thing from now on, and she smiled at the idea.

Ten minutes later, she found herself at their apartment, standing by Syaoran's bedside drawer. She knew this was where he kept their wedding rings, even though he tried to hide that from her. It was empty.

So he was here, and he got the rings. She couldn't tell if that was a good thing or bad thing. She didn't see any sign of an accident on her way home, so it was possible he took the rings and left, off to find another girl he liked better.

But he wouldn't do that, Sakura argued. He loved me.

Then why aren't you two married?

She ran again. She couldn't stand one more second of being in the apartment that constantly reminded her of Syaoran. Her feet took her to Penguin Park, which wasn't any better since they spent so much time there as teenagers, but she found herself sprawled on the concrete before she could go to another place.

Damn rocks. They should go die.

"I have to go now."

"Just…five more minutes?"

"Okay."

They sat in silence on the swing set, gently swinging back and forth, back and forth, the rusty chains squeaking quietly. It was unreal, how one day will change their lives drastically. Tomorrow, at this time…

"How far away is Osaka?"

"I don't know."

More silence. Sakura dreaded leaving, although she knew her otou-san wanted her home now, so they would be able to reach Osaka at a decent hour. She was all packed, ready to go, but suddenly she felt like there was something she needed to do. And she just couldn't leave Syaoran without…without a proper goodbye or something.

"I don't want to leave."

"I don't want you to leave either."

The squeaking beside her abruptly stopped and she turned towards him, the urge to not leave, to want to stay with him forever clawing up her throat. She stared at him questioningly.

"Sakura…" It seemed like Syaoran was hyperventilating. He was breathing deeply, and he avoided looking at her. Her own breaths quickened in response, and she felt adrenaline rushing through her veins as she anticipated his next words.

"…I'll never forget you."

She snorted, and the tension immediately faded. "I'm going to college, Syaoran," she said teasingly. "I'm not dying. We'll see each other again. I promise."

He grinned as well, but she saw the disappointment in his eyes, at her or at himself, she wasn't sure. "I know. I just felt like being overdramatic since you always tell me I never show my emotions."

She laughed, getting off the swing, and she was hit again with that feeling of incompletion.

"I guess this is goodbye."

"I guess so."

A lingering hug and a quick kiss on the cheek later, Sakura found herself walking home.

Fifteen minutes later she was back again, but this time in a car with piles of furniture and dorm accessories in the back seat. Her otou-san drove past the park and she saw Syaoran still sitting on the swing, still rocking gently back and forth. He looked up as they passed and Sakura waved furiously, blinking back tears that were threatening to spill. He waved back sadly, and Sakura watched him as he grew smaller and smaller, before disappearing completely as they turned a corner.

And then Sakura realized what she hadn't done. She hadn't figured out why she needed to be with Syaoran. She hadn't understood why she would miss him over anyone else, even Tomoyo, although she attributed it before to the fact that she would be close, in Kyoto. She hadn't realized that there was something she needed to tell him.

"I love you, Syaoran," she whispered to the window. But by now, it was too late.

Sakura hadn't allowed herself to feel anything since she heard the news. All she let herself feel was a need to find out the truth. But she couldn't hold it off any longer. She pulled herself up to a sitting position, with her dress pooled around her, and cried, letting out all her feelings of hurt, betrayal, and confusion. She let the pity all the guests felt for her mix with her own and let them fuel her tears. She didn't know how long she stayed there, sobbing her eyes out, before she had the strength to pull herself together and wipe away the tears. She would go back and wait for news there. There must be an explanation-

She froze. A man was sitting on the swings, looking at her with a curious face.

He was wearing an immaculate black tuxedo, with a white button-up dress shirt underneath and a black bow tie. His chestnut hair was messy as always, although in a polished look. There wasn't a wrinkle in his suit, not a hair out of place. He was holding two boxes that Sakura knew held wedding rings.

He looked dazzling. Handsome. Refined. Sakura stared at him, taking in his appearance, mouth gaping. He looked…perfect.

Why am I in love with you?

The shock quickly turned to anger as her mouth closed with a snap. She was in his face in a second, prodding his chest with her finger.

"Bastard!" she yelled, feeling satisfaction at finally being able to swear at him. "Do you know what you did to me? How much of a wreck I am? What do you have to say?"

I love you and I want to spend the rest of my life with you.

He just stared at her.

Sakura's fury grew at his silence. Before she knew it, her hand had raised and smacked him across the face.

His head whipped to the side at her force, but he turned back to her, still staring, still silent. Sakura felt the tears coming again, and she tried covering it up with more yelling.

"You promised, you asshole!" she screamed, fighting the urge to slap him again, and maybe punch him in the nose. "You promised you would be there, waiting for me at the altar! You promised," her voice broke, "you promised you would be there, because you loved me, and being with me was what you wanted for the rest of your life."

I was searching for someone who made me feel like you do.

She waited for his response. It was five minutes before he opened his mouth, but this time, Sakura wasn't expectant or demanding of an explanation. She was horrified, because as the minutes passed, she saw something in his eyes that she knew would break her. She saw confusion. Confusion at her, and what she was talking about.

I feel like we're soul mates.

"Who are you?"

Dun dun dun...it's called a drama for a reason :P