Breaking the Ruler

A Yu Yu Hakusho fanfiction by Sir Psycho Sexy

A/N: Written for Spring Kink over at Livejournal. Contains: crude sexual humor and erections. Also, a HELL of a lot of Yusuke/Kuwabara UST. Don't say I didn't warn you.

It was another lazy day at Sarayashiki Junior High; nothing of note was happening, students were opening their freshly-packed bento boxes during lunch break, a few more were cramming for a test that was coming up afterwards.

However, on closer inspection, this scenario wasn't as idyllic as one would think. In front of the school stood two punks, one wearing a green uniform, the other in the school's standard blue, getting ready for their daily tussle.

"You know what, Urameshi? I got somethin' to prove to you!" shouted the fellow in the blue uniform.

The boy in the green uniform smirked and folded his arms. "What? That you work after school at a sissy-ass cat shelter?"

"What did you say?"

"I thought you'd take that as a compliment, Mister Number Two Delinquent." With this, he stuck out his tongue and pulled down the bottom of his right eyelid.

"Oh, fuck you, Urameshi! It is ON!"

"All right, Kuwabara," Yusuke said as he got into a fighting stance. "It's time to put up your dukes."

"You're ON!" With that, Kuwabara tackled his opponent to the ground, and tried to pin him there using his legs. He took a good hard swing at Yusuke, and…

He blocked it, and punched Kuwabara hard in the cheek.

"Ow! That hurt!"

"No one beats the Great Urameshi ! Not even you! Try again some other day!" Yusuke started laughing.

However, Kuwabara's legs were somehow still pinning Yusuke to the ground after taking so many blows from him; and, seeing as they were both teenaged boys and the slightest amount of friction could make them aroused…

Kuwabara was bewildered to find that he had gotten an erection during the skirmish.

Yusuke noticed and laughed even harder. "Oh, God, Kuwabara, this is rich. Not only are you a wimp, you're a faggot! Ha ha!"

"Shaddup, Urameshi! I like girls! I am NOT gay!"

"Well, if you're not gay, what's that in your pants there?"

"I…I don't know how it got there! Honest!"

"Come on, man, everyone can see you're a total ass-pirate." He stood up, throwing off Kuwabara in the process, still chuckling to himself, still wearing the Urameshi shit-eating grin. He cleared his throat, closed his right eye as if to imitate an eyepatch, and went: "Arrgggh! I be Kuwabara! I'm comin' after yer booty with me plank, arrggh!"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP, URAMESHI!" He began to punch at him again, but missed.

Yusuke, meanwhile, opened his eye, bent over as if preparing for Kuwabara to enter him, and mockingly stated, "Oh, come on, you don't want my ass? I'm starting to feel bad. Here I am giving it to you on a silver platter and…"

"Do you really think I'm gonna fall for that shit?"

"Come on. I know you want it. Bad," teased Yusuke.

"How many times do I have to tell you, Urameshi! I! LIKE! GIRLS!" Kuwabara came charging at Yusuke, to which Yusuke responded with a square punch to the jaw.

"Yeah, and I'm the fuckin' Queen of England," snapped Yusuke. "I mean, you're still fightin' me, and you still got that boner. You must not only be a huuuuge ass-pirate, but you're also a masochist. Figures."

Kuwabara quickly got up as Yusuke was walking away. "Urameshi, wait!"

He looked down in despair; he had been defeated again. And he was still hard; he figured he'd best get to the locker room before next class period to take a cold shower.

As Yusuke went back into the school building proper, he noticed that he had an erection as well.

"Dammit," he spat to himself as he also walked to the men's locker room to get rid of it via cold shower.

Sometimes rivals held feelings for one another, feelings they'd never admit; in this case, it was because both parties were macho delinquents, supposedly straighter than a ruler.

Someday, somehow, that ruler would break.

Hopefully, the cosmos thought, in that very locker room.

-FIN