Disclaimer: I do not own Gossip Girl, or anything, or… are you even reading this?

Title: What They Really Mean

Author: quibbler149

Summary: A conversation between Chuck and his daughter as he recounts his courting of her mother.

Characters: Chuck B.

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"The best and most beautiful things in the world cannot be seen or even touched. They must be felt with the heart."

-Helen Keller

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"Daddy, tell me a story."

"Daddy's tired, sweetheart. Why don't you find Momma and get her to-"

"No! I want a story from Daddy tonight. You're always tired! And I still haven't forgiven you for buying the standard version of Sleeping Beauty."

"Well, sweetheart, Daddy doesn't have many stories to tell."

"But you're so old!"

"Thanks."

"You've lived forever, you should know lots of stuff!"

"I'm still quite ignorant of most things, baby."

"What is ick-no-rent?"

"It means I don't know lots of stuff."

"But I thought Momma liked smart people!"

"Momma made an exception in my case."

"Momma never makes exceptions."

"I guess she loved me too much. She overlooked my flaws."

"Momma never overlooks anything. Not even floors. She always gets the maid to scrub them twice a week so I don't get sick."

"Well, sweetheart, your Momma wasn't so very different when we first met."

"How did you meet?"

"We met when we were as old as you are now."

"Wow! You know each other for a very long time, then."

"Yes, a very, very long time."

"Was Momma pretty?"

"Very pretty, sweetheart. She was the prettiest in our class."

"Was she nice?"

"…"

"Daddy?"

"Let's just say Momma had a very strong personality and leave it at that."

"Did you fall in love with her?"

"Oh, very much so. I think I fell in love with her the second I saw her. I just never really realised it at first."

"So it was true love at first sight? Like in my Disney cartoons?"

"Well, on my part, yes."

"And Momma's part?"

"She experienced true love at first sight too… just not with me."

"With who, then?"

"Your Uncle Nate."

"Eww!"

"I was best friends with Uncle Nate back then as well. And your Aunt Serena was your Momma's best friend too. We were the big foursome."

"Just like now?"

"Just like now, baby."

"So when did Momma fall in love with you?"

"It took a really, really long time."

"Because you were so ick-no-rent?"

"Partly, sweetheart, partly. I wasn't a good boy back then and I did a lot of things I wasn't proud of."

"Like what?"

"I had too many lady friends."

"Oh, Momma doesn't like that."

"No, she doesn't. And I liked drinking Scotch."

"You still like Scotch."

"But I only drink it for business reasons now."

"Momma doesn't like when you drink too much and start falling over."

"And since Uncle Nate was my best friend, it wasn't right for me to like Momma. So I had to wait until Momma didn't love Uncle Nate anymore."

"She doesn't love Uncle Nate?"

"Well, she's not in love with Uncle Nate anymore. Aunt Serena's in love with Uncle Nate now."

"And then did Momma fall in love with you?"

"It wasn't quite so simple."

"Yes it is! In all my Disney cartoons, the prince falls in love with the princess and carries her off into the sunset on his white horse."

"Momma's not very easy to carry."

"Oh, I'm telling Momma you called her fat!"

"No! No! Baby! Come back here! Don't you go telling your Momma things like that!"

"Why are you so scared all of a sudden, Daddy?"

"I'm not scared… just don't want to bother your Momma."

"Okay."

"Anyway. Your Momma and I were together for a little while."

"You were in love?"

"Not exactly. We were just together."

"How can you be together but not in love?"

"You just… do things together."

"Like watching Breakfast at Tiffany's?"

"Ah… yes. Yes, like that. Then there were some misunderstandings between your Momma and I, and it took a lot of time before we were really together."

"And in love?"

"And in love."

"Is that it?"

"Well, no. I tried to propose to your Momma, but she found out about my newest lady friend and got mad."

"That wasn't very nice, Daddy."

"It wasn't. I didn't even like that lady friend. But Momma refused to marry me and went to Paris with your Aunt Serena."

"I love Paris!"

"We'll go next weekend. So I was very sad because your Momma wouldn't marry me. And then some bad man tried to steal your Momma's ring and I got hurt."

"You got hurt, Daddy?"

"Yes, very badly. But I got better and when Momma heard she took the first plane back from Paris."

"She took a commercial flight?"

"Yes. She told me she made big sacrifices for me. I proposed again to your Momma and this time she accepted."

"And that was it?"

"Well, then we had you, sweetheart. And now Daddy's the happiest man on earth."

"Really?"

"Yes, baby. And that's it. Daddy's tired now. You go to bed too, all right?"

"All right, Daddy. Good night."

"Good night, Audrey."

"Oh, and Daddy?"

"Yes?"

"Momma called you an awful lot of bad words when she told me this story."

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AN: Well, that's it! Not quite as well-done as I'd hoped, but I entertain the idea of Chuck and Blair having a little Blair-baby. Wouldn't she be adorable? Chuck and Blair would make beautiful babies.