Disclaimer: Still don't own Death Note, or anything else.

AN: This has been on my computer for kami knows how long... and I just edited it...

~Sim~

"Hey Mello, what cup size are you?" Matt called out to him from his computer. Matt had been ignoring him for the majority of the morning as he created characters on a computer game, one that Matt had said would have a person for everyone they knew. Matt had been shouting out questions all morning as well, and Mello had been giving no thought to his answers, that one however, made him pause midway to a sip of tea.

"My.. my what?" he muttered darkly.

"You know, bra size?" Matt shouted back; he must have had ears like a bat to have heard him.

"I don't know if you have noticed or not, but I have a penis and do not have breasts." he snarled and slammed the mug onto the table. He'd gotten enough cracks at Wammys about his slightly feminine looks, and he certainly wasn't about to listen to them from Matt as well.

"I have noticed that, especially when you walk around the house naked in the morning." Matt commented with amusement, only furthering to anger the blond, who now sported a slight blush of embarrassment at having been caught.

"Now what size are you, or I'll say would be if you had any, before you shoot me or something." Matt asked blandly.

"Why the hell are you even asking? And how the fuck would I know, I don't have them!" he walked over to the redhead and noticed he had bra sizes pulled up in one half minimized window, as well as some game pulled up with a naked pixilated woman.

"What the fuck kind of game are you playing?" he asked incredulously. Only Matt would sit and mess around with naked animated characters and wonder about cup sizes.

"The Sims2. Don't tell me you don't know what that it?" Matt raised an eyebrow at him and Mello simply snorted.

"Not all of us live off of that brain rot." he paused and thought back over the conversation.

"Matt... you wouldn't by chance be making my character into a women, would you?" he asked with narrowed eyes. He had his answer when Matt's shoulders tensed.

"You son of a-"

"In my defense, I made a male and female version of all of us. I thought it would be more amusing that way..."

Mello sighed heavily and rubbed at his eyes. He knew Matt wouldn't leave him alone until he had his answers, and the sooner Mello choose his... bra size... the sooner he could step away from that insanity.

"Fine... just pick something from... C? Now leave me alone." he shook his head but stopped in annoyance at a negative response from Matt.

"You need to dress her, I already have your other one in leather, I was even able to hack the scar into the game."

"For fucks sake Matt! Move over and tell me how to work this fucking thing..." he swore darkly and shoved Matt from his seat. It didn't take long to pick out random clothing, he really had no interest in it, but the longer he stared at his character the more activated he became. He went back and changed the clothing twice more before he was satisfied.

"Are we done now? Can I go and reheat my tea or is there something else- what the fuck is your Sim doing?" Mello gapped at the screen while Matt let out a weak laugh.

"Um... I think he's fucking your male Sim..." Matt trailed off almost thoughtfully.

If Mello was going to deal with all of this, he decided, he needed something stronger than tea. "Whatever. At least it's not Near. I'd have to fucking kill you then."

"You know Mello... I think my Sim had a pretty good idea... don't you?" Mello stopped in his tracks and turned to face Matt, who wore a Cheshire grin. Matt, his straight best friend, could not possibly be suggesting...?

He watched as Matt became uncomfortable under his gaze but still couldn't help the thoughts that raced through his mind along with one that suggested Matt didn't mind when he walked around the apartment naked.

"Your Sim has it wrong. There is no fucking way you'd top me." he muttered after a long silence.

Matt let loose a strangled laugh and stood from his chair. "There's only one way to find out right?" he barely noticed Matt's grin before he was being pulled into a kiss, and stumbling to the closest bedroom.

The light in the room was out, but the afternoon sunlight brightened it up nicely, enough that he could see what was blatantly left on Matt's dresser.

"Matt... why the fuck do you have thirteen boxes of condoms in your room?"

"...I wanted the different flavors...?"

And Mello sighed. Couldn't he have interest in someone... normal?

"Chocolate flavor?"

Then again, perhaps normal was overrated.

-End-

AN: No, this was not meant to be serious. No there was no actual sex, no I will not write another chapter XD.

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