Chapter 9

Ah Yes, 'Achievements'

Shepard found himself in a room, completely black with the exception of a large white menu of sorts before him. Upon it was a list of clever puns, level names, and random words that made up the list of achievements. At the top was the simple number, 1000. A perfect score. His mind scrolled through them, each being highlighted by a sickly green color. His coveted "No One Left Behind," as well as others such as "Head Hunter" and "Insanity" were all complete. Then he saw "Paramour." Everything done. Shepard was happy. Shepard was... complete. Shepard was ready for the sequ-

"Commander!" Joker's voice roared through the intercom, waking Shepard from his slumber. "We've got an emergency signal from the Citadel. They need help!"

Shepard slid out of bed, dressed in an N7 Hoodie and jeans. With the flick of a menu, he found himself adorned in a dapper Alliance Military Uniform, then rushed to Joker's location in the helm of the ship.

"What's the matter?" Shepard asked, approaching Joker.

"The Council believes there is someone trying to assassinate them. We have to do something!"

"The Council is dumb," Shepard replied plainly.

"But Shepard!"

"Ah yes, Reapers," Shepard answered.

"Well, yeah. There was that."

"Besides, won't they have a problem with our Al Qaeda connections?"

"They won't care if you save them, Commander. Maybe we can get back on their good side."

"The whole Claim Dismissal thing was considered their good side, Joker."

"Shepard," EDI's voice pitched in. "I feel there are sufficient bonuses for going to warrant your time."

"Like what..." Shepard said doubtingly.

"An Achievement Shepard. 'Citadel Savior.' Save the Council."

Shepard remembered seeing the maxed out Gamerscore. It would be his.

"Let's do this," he said, a new wave of confidence washing over him. "Plot the course Joker. It's time to dismiss some claims!"

The Normandy sped toward the Serpent Nebula and soon found itself barreling toward the beautiful space station known as the Citadel. Slowing to a stop, the Normandy docked itself near the Presidium and Shepard quickly moved to dismount. This was a unique mission, and for that, he'd need a unique team. Perhaps a team he'd never used before. As he stepped out onto the docking bays of the Citadel, two figures stood behind him. Logan Keller, dressed in full combat uniform, and Billie, dressed in a black, untucked dress shirt and equipped with his guitar rifle. Shepard could only hope a mission as unusual as this didn't come with any unusual consequences.

It was Shepard's understanding that the infiltrator would be making their way to the Council Chambers, so he figured that would be the best place to start. Shepard and his team made their way to the Presidium's Council elevator and hopped aboard. Though as it rode up, Shepard began to wonder if it was moving at all. An entire news report played out, in hopes of entertaining them, but to no avail.

"Why is this so slow? Are these elevators some sort of disguise for absurd loading times? At the point a faction can design a super-advanced space station, you'd really think they could have faster elevators than this!" Shepard called out.

Billie sat in a corner and leaned his head back.

"Wake me up when September ends..." he said, falling asleep.

Logan simply stood motionless, gazing endlessly at the doors to the elevator.

When at last, after what seemed to be an eternity, the doors opened, revealing a vast chamber. Shepard lightly kicked Billie, awakening him, then moved forward into the room. He advanced forward until he reached the Council's Podium. The three Councilors stood in place, seemingly doing nothing about the impending threat.

"Shepard. Good to see you. We've been most concerned," the Salarian councilor spat.

"I can see that. From the way you've done nothing to protect yourself. You're aware there is an assassin coming, right?" Shepard questioned.

"Ah yes, 'Assassins'..." the Turian councilor began, complete with air quotes.

"That's it! I'm out! I thought I could do it, but no! Nothing is worth hearing what you're about to say!" Shepard blurted, interrupting him.

The Turian's face went blank.

"I don't understand Shepard. I was simply stating that Assassins were in fact the threat being imposed on us."

"You... wait... you what? What about the whole, 'we dismissed that claim' thing."

"I haven't the slightest idea what you are referencing."

"You mean... you mean it wasn't even a big deal to you? You don't remember dismissing my claim and strolling on like a baller? It... was that insignificant to you?" Shepard asked, face displaying shock.

"Shepard! We have more pressing matters. The assassin could arrive at any minute. We appreciate that you've come to our aid," the Asari councilor interjected.

"Right. Intelligence suggests that the assassin will be attempting to enter through the ventilation system. We suggest you investigate," the Salarian said.

"Wouldn't I be most useful right here? Guarding you?" Shepard questioned.

"Of course, but we're the Council and we get to decide where we want you to go," the Turian argued.

Shepard wanted to yell at the Council. To pick that bottom dialogue option. But he couldn't do it. He'd roll over for them just like he always did. Shepard began walking back toward the elevator, being given no explanation how to get to the ventilation system, or what to look for once there. Once again his team rode down the elevator, feeling like the obscene wait wasn't worth the time spent in the Council Chambers.

"How are the vent shafts even going to lead up there? How does that even work?" Shepard asked.

"I'm experienced with this sort of thing Shepard. Terrorists are tricky. They think of things you'd never conceive. We have to trust the intel, it's our only lead," Logan replied.

"The Council seems like a bunch of Alien Idiots," Billie said.

"I know. I agree, but we have to trust them," Shepard said.

He then grimaced, realizing he had misunderstood the context of his last dialogue choice, and had accidentally implied he sided with the Council.

When the elevator finally opened, Shepard burst forth in hopes of making up for lost time in the elevator. His two squadmates followed close behind as Shepard tore through the Presidium looking for the vent system. Everywhere aliens trotted around, some advertising, some arguing, some engaged in unsavory public displays of affection. Occasionally Shepard found himself distracted eavesdropping on conversations about mundane day to day experiences that had no application to his life. Yet despite that, and despite the urgency of his mission, he found them to be good for a laugh.

Then Shepard saw something suspicious. A man in what appeared to be an N7 uniform was seemingly stuck halfway into a vent shaft, a large pistol hanging from his belt. Shepard approached the man, though did so cautiously. He felt his steps trigger a cutscene as his actions became more fluid and cinematic. He drew his gun and dramatically cocked it, as having it pre-prepared would be an absurd concept. Shepard opted for the bottom dialogue option to sound tougher.

"Stop right there, Criminal Scum!" Shepard shouted, despite the N7 armor implying they were on the same side.

Shepard then heard a terrible high pitched shriek before he heard a loud metal clang. Upon closer observation, the man had hit his head on the vent shaft when Shepard startled him. He then slid out of the shaft and collapsed on the ground. The blonde man with a thick goatee quickly rose to his feet. His concerned look soon transformed into a massive smile.

"You cosplay Shepard too!?" he asked excited. "You even have your own squad!"

"I am Shepard. Are you cosplaying me?" Shepard asked.

"Haha, I'm Shepard too! I save the galaxy dude! It's all like bam bam bam bam," he said, pointing his fingers like guns as he made sounds.

"No really, I am Commander Shepard. Who are you really?"

"So dedicated too! At least I know my boundaries. Names Verner... Conrad Verner. Shepard's my hero."

"So I'm your hero?" Shepard inquired.

"It's cool that you role play too, but I dunno man. The real Shepard is my hero."

"Listen, I AM the real Shepard!" he yelled.

"Those aren't the right squadmates. I've never seen them before. I'd know if you'd changed. Plus, I've memorized the deck plan for every ship you've ever commanded. Oh yeah, and Shepard's a girl," Conrad said.

Shepard glanced at his options. Every dialogue choice was the same.

"..."

"I know, a lot of work with the memorization, but it's worth it. Shep loves it!"

"No, not that. Shepard's... a girl? What's her name?"

"Uh... well, Shepard. Of course. But uh... other than that... For all I know about Shepard, I have no idea what her first name is!"

"So... uh... what are you doing here? With the vent."

"Oh, I'm working with Shepard. I kept asking her if I could help every time I saw her and she finally said yes. She said my role was super important!"

"And what exactly was your role, Conrad?" Shepard asked, growing concerned.

"Well, Shepard said she had a big surprise in store for the Council, and I'm helping her present it! She didn't want them to see her bring it in I guess, so I'm supposed to distract them with a ruckus in the vent!"

"Frak! I mean... Frell! I mean..." Shepard cursed.

"Shepard, he's a decoy! We need to get back to the Council!" Logan shouted.

Shepard ceased his tirade and turned around, sprinting back toward the Council's elevator at fast as he could. When he finally reached it, he realized just how serious of trouble the Council was in. The elevator might be too slow! The three piled in and returned to the Council's chambers. The ride was accompanied by peaceful elevator music and a holographic diagram of the elevator traveling up the station. Beneath the diagram it displayed various tips that Shepard found rather useless and borderline insulting.

"Be nice to people to gain paragon points," the first tip read.

"Pull the trigger to fire your weapon," the second scrolled by.

"Talking to people might cause them to share important information," the third stated.

Ding!

The elevator door opened and Shepard ran forth to find the Council room ablaze, fire everywhere and deformed metal decorated the ground and pillars. Shepard sprinted through the trail of debris to where he saw the Council, hands raised and a woman wearing the same armor that both he and Conrad Verner were wearing. On either side of her were people Shepard recognized. A Quarian and a Turian. Tali and Garrus.

"Tali? Garrus? Shep... Shepard?" Shepard questioned, slowly approaching the podium with his pistol drawn and one arm out.

All three turned around.

"What do you want?" the woman asked, pointing her gun toward Shepard.

"I'm here... to protect the Council!"

"You mean them?" she asked, firing a round of her pistol, barely missing the Turian Councilor's head.

The Turian's panicked look gave Shepard a brief sense of satisfaction before he realized this was a bad situation.

"Yes. And what are you doing... and who are you?"

"I'm here because I'm tired of wading through the Council's idiocy to do my job. And my name is Steph M. Shepard," she replied, her angry face lined with red scars.

Shepard's countenance grew vengeful.

"Femshep."

Pointing her gun back at him, her bright red eyes seemed to pierce his soul.

"You have a problem with that?"

"Of course not, it's great to meet you!" Shepard said, gaining a pair of paragon points.

His heart began to race. It was like she was everything he wasn't. Renegade, tough, renegade, hardcore... renegade.

"So are you going to back down and let me finish my job, or do I have to kill you too?"

"Haha... uh... hehe... I... well..." Shepard mumbled as he realized none of the available dialogue options fulfilled what he wanted to say.

One option seemed to be something about Logan, and the other was something about Billie. Then there was some random neutral stuff. Surely it was nothing like the Vermire choice...

"You need to drop your weapon and put your hands in the air," Logan ordered, stepping up. "I've been trained to deal with hostage negotiations, I know preci–"

His words were cut off by Femshep placing a bullet through his skull. Shepard's jaw dropped. She was so hardcore.

"Whoa, whoa," Billie said, dropping his guitar rifle and waving his hands back and forth. "I'm scheduled for Holiday soon and plan to have the Time of My Life. You're acting like a Basket Case right Before the Lobotomy, and I Know You're my Enemy. So with that in mind, I think I'm gonna take the Warning and hit the Boulevard of Broken Dreams before I end up like Saint Jimmy."

Femshep turned, her gun now aimed at Billie, who was slowly backing away. She fired a few warning rounds at his feet and the next thing Shepard knew, Billie was gone, descending the elevator, and Logan was dead.

What had he done? Was the achievement worth this? Would he even still pull it off? Could anything in his adventure have just taken a turn for the dark side?

It was then that he noticed the new option. Having witnessed the death of one squadmate and the retreat of another, new dialogue options had occurred to him. He dismissed the entire right hand column as he gazed upon the beautiful blue of the left side. His Paragon might have paid off.

"Femshep! I understand. I know what you're going through with the Council. For as long as I can remember, they have done the same thing to me. They treat us like we are mere pawns in a giant game of inter-galactic chess. They try to keep us moving in one direction, unrelenting, not permitted to deviate to save others, only trapped in their single-minded advance. We are more alike than you may know! I'm even okay with the fact you're more popular! It doesn't even bother me that more fans like you than me! And apparently my former squadmates too, but still! I ask that considering our shared experiences, you back down. Just this once. Give Paragon a chance," Shepard concluded, his eyes bright and teary.