Meme Writing

By Tiara Light

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Chosen pairing: NA

Setting: Bayverse G1 fusion (basically bay's universe and G1 characters with an amalgam of looks) after Transformers movies 1 & 2. The third was in filming when I wrote these so these stories will not be compliant to it or any future movies.

Warning: Xeno, Male/non-gender species.

Disclaimer: I own nothing here within except the twisted oddly colored plot bunnies, and I make no money from the fan fiction.

[+] Indicates where added material begins.

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1) Stairway to Heaven

Sam sat on top of one of the hangers watching the Autobots he had grown close to greet several newcomers. Their movements were oddly choreographic, almost like a ritual dance. The patterns forming around Optimus Prime expanding and contracting in a way that was oddly familiar to Sam. [+]

Each time he watches this ritual the pattern becomes clearer. Optimus Prime at the center, an unmoving anchor shifting only his upper body to acknowledge those mechs who paused in front of him. The elder 'Bots of the original team and those who arrived later who were officers forming a slowly moving perimeter around their leader. Bumblebee, Arcee, and the smarter twin weaving through the perimeter and outward, in the opposite direction, to guide the various new 'Bots around the NEST compound so they could learn about their allies and their new planet. There was a jarring gap in the pattern where Sam was sure Jazz was supposed to be. The handful of previously arrived 'Bots that were stationed at NEST formed clusters around the perimeter, that the newly arrived join after their initial tour, these clusters almost look geometric or like symbols.

Sam jerks into full awareness as he finally recognizes the patterns are Cybertronian glyphs that the mechs below are seemingly following unconsciously. He doesn't know what they mean but they stir an odd flutter deep within his being, terrifyingly familiar but different and deeper than any of the other occurrences that now marked him as different. Something must have registered with his friends, because both Bumblebee and Ratchet separate from the pattern heading in his direction. Several of the other mechs look towards him as well; even Optimus turns to watch what is happening, concern evident in all of their postures. Sam blushes under the scrutiny, feeling guilty for interrupting something so important and beautiful.

Bumblebee reaches Sam first, scooping him up and holding him protectively to his chest while glaring at Rachet.

"Bumblebee." Ratchet says warningly. "We are all fond of Sam, you know this, none of us would do anything to cause him pain. I am quite aware of the fluctuating power signals he produces; they have been increasingly hard to miss. We had hoped that Sam would be able to complete his college education on campus before they became disruptive. Now you WILL allow me to escort Sam to Med-Bay either without a fuss so you can come with us with, and promise not to interfere, or you will be confined to quarters for insubordination."

* I'll be there - * Bumblebee plays over the radio as he looks at Sam.

Sam grits his teeth in frustration. "Ratchet will you just trust me when I say it will keep until you're finished greeting the new arrivals."

Ratchet gives Sam a long considering look. "Yes I believe you, but I am rather board with just shuffling around looking pretty so you are the perfect excuse for me to make good an escape. Believe me if Prime could find an equally believable alibi he wouldn't be out there either."

Sam huffs. "What do the glyphs worked into the greeting pattern mean?"

Ratchet clips the corner of one hanger with his shoulder when he spins around to stare at Sam. "Impossible."

"Hey, me being alive is impossible." Sam pats Bumblebee's face when the 'Bot pulls him close warbling in distress. "Sorry Bumblebee, I didn't mean it that way. I am alive and happy, it's just between the All-spark lighting up my world and the slag the matrix pulled, I am starting to rethink my definition of impossible."

"That does it, I am giving you a full health check." Ratchet growls. "No more putting it off, or pretending nothing is wrong. And when I say full I mean every test I and the science mecha can give you without harm."

Sam gapes at him. "But I AM Fine. Just because I can tell the difference between a Cybertronian glyph from an Earth one doesn't mean there is a problem."

"I will be the judge of that." Ratchet gets a firm grip on one of Bumblebee's shoulders. "Med-Bay, Now."

Sam and Bumblebee look at each other. "Busted."

Ratchet stalks towards his Med-bay pulling Bumblebee along with him. "Busted implies you were expecting to be caught."

"Not really." Sam shrugs at the look Ratchet gives him. "I just really dislike being poked, prodded, and asked repetitive questions for hours on end. I had to put up with that from my fellow humans twice now already. They didn't find anything and I certainly wasn't going to suddenly change my answers just because they asked the same question multiple times."

"They either didn't trust your answers to be complete and honest or they were hoping that going over the information more than once would help you remember more." Ratchet grumbles at the thought of the humans interfering with what he felt was his territory.

"They would be right." Sam winces at the glare Rachet aims at him. "Do you really want me to try to explain the Dynasty of Primes to a bunch of humans who have little or no experience with anything they can't quantify scientifically?"

"They do not need to know that." Ratchet relaxes his stance a little.

"Precisely, the best we could hope for would be me winding up like me great grandfather - in and insane asylum or something far worse - dissected like the experiments of Sector 7 were." Sam looks nauseous. "No thanks."

"I find myself beginning to agree with the Decepticon viewpoint when dealing with some humans." Ratchet releases Bumblebee once they arrive at the workstation he had specifically adapted for human patients. "Strip and onto the bed."

"What? Hey, no, that's so not cool dude." Sam clings to Bumblebee's hand.

"No need to be shy, it is not like I will be interested in staring at your pink flesh." Ratchet comments in an offhand manner.

"Oh really, that's not what Bumblebee told me." Sam smirks at Ratchet. "The way he explained it Cybertronians connect our clothes with their armor and you don't hear me asking to stare at your protoform. Ironhide further informed me that due to long-term exposure to a wide variety of other species Cybertronians do not have species boundaries when admiring other races' forms. In fact everyone who invited themselves into the conversation agreed that certain 'bots like the differences and are always extremely curious."

"Bumblebee." Ratchet growls.

*Hang on Sloopy, hang on -* "I did not tell him that, just about the clothing and protoforms." Bumblebee quickly defends himself.

"Oh really, then who did?" Ratchet looks Bumblebee directly in the optics.

"I think it was Optimus who started the explantion." Sam puts in to rescue his friend from Ratchet's scrutiny. "Though Ironhide is the one who ratted out a whole list of mechs that fit that description."

"Did the rusty aft name himself in that list." Ratchet glares in the direction of the rest of the Autobots.

"He said he didn't mind the idea." Sam shrugs grinning. "While I'm not a phobic or anything, I am not ready to even think in those terms." He snorts. "I haven't even gotten comfortable with myself or girls yet."

"I still would prefer my scans to be as clear of much extraneous material as possible." Ratchet finally settles into a completely professional stance.

Sam sighs and releases his strangle hold on Bumblebee's finger. "Oh alright if you insist, but just remember I am on good terms with the base pranksters."

"Is that supposed to mean something to me, I assure you I am quite capable of avoiding their sparkling attempts at humor." Ratchet responds glaring at the innocent smile on Sam's face.

"That is what Ironhide said when he embarrassed me with his rather elaborate and colorful description of interspecies relations." Sam says as he slowly and methodically removes his clothing, folding up each article as he goes.

"Now you are just teasing me." Ratchet accuses.

Sam smiles at the medic. "Sorry Ratchet but it is so rare that us humans get a chance to have any advantage over our big smart Cybertronian friends that I didn't even try to resist the temptation."

"Of course you didn't." Ratchet gently pokes at Sam with one digit.

Sam steps back and ends up sitting down abruptly on the human exam table. "Hey watch where you point that thing."

Ratchet leans down eyeball to optic with Sam. "Hold very still or we will do this the army way."

Sam holds as still as he can until Ratchet is finished with his scan. "Oh, you're so big, strong, and forceful." He flutters his eyes exaggeratedly.

Ratchet vents in amused exasperation. "Out, I need peace to study the results. Be back here tomorrow after you eat for your lesson, I will be scanning you before every lesson so we can see if there is a pattern to your energy readings."

Sam groans. "Yes Ratchet."

Sam scrambles back into his clothes. He and Bumblebee beat a hasty retreat from the Med-bay while Ratchet is muttering from behind the cubicle workstation that he calls his office.

- End Chapter 1 -

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