Sorry for being MIA for so long. Now that it's Summertime I'm hoping for having more time to get caught up on my fanfiction. I haven't forgotten my CM stories!

The razor touched his skin. He felt free as darkness engulfed him and he fainted. When the nurse found him he was sprawled on the ground of the bathroom floor, his wrists bleeding. She ran, screaming for help. Luckily for him he missed the place he meant to cut and had fainted due to blood loss. When Reid woke he found himself in the hospital bed, his arms strapped. A doctor was pearing over him.

"What's going on?" He mumbled.

"We're sorry, Reid," his doctor said softly. "We have to strap you down for your own safety. You also won't be left alone from now on."

Reid cursed inwardly as he realized his suicide attempt had failed.

"Would you want to tell us why you wanted to kill yourself?" His doctor asked softly and Reid swallowed.

"I just...wanted it to be over. I just wanted the pain to stop."

The doctor nodded sadly.

"Suicide isn't the way out, though Reid."

Ried said nothing and stared outside.

"There's some people here who wants to see you."

With that the doctor walked away. Reid didn't respond as he heard footsteps enter the room.

"Reid?" It was Morgan's voice but he still looked away, filled with shame. He still kept picturing them seeing him being raped.

"Reid honey?" Garcia's voice appeared as she squeezed his head.

"Spence." JJ's voice was next, and it was soft but felt with hurt and sadness. She kissed him on his turned cheek. "I'm so glad you're stil here," she sobbed. Reid bit his lip.

"That makes one of us," he said, finally speaking. The three of them looked at each other, stunned.

"Reid..."Morgan's voice was filled with pain and Reid couldn't bare to listen to it. He knew he caused it. He caused them all pain. He was just a burden.

"Leave," he said as his voice shook. "Please...leave."

"Reid, this wasn't your fault. What happened to you-you know that right? You didn't deserve this."

Why the hell did Morgan continue to talk when he asked them to leave?

Ried remained silent, his lips pursed. He now knew why they strapped him down. He wanted to try a second time. He wanted to end the pain now. It was too much for him.

"Reid..."

"Leave!" He shouted suddenly, causing them to jump. He blinked back tears. "I'm sorry, just...please...I can't talk about this now...I need...please I can't look at you. It's not your fault, it's mine...I just can't...please just go."

He heard Garcia hold back a sob and hated himself even more. Great he made Garcia cry.

"Okay Reid," Morgan said qietly. He could tell his best friend was tryign to matain his composure. "But we'll be back, we haven't abandoned you." He squeezed Reid's shoulder and Reid didn't jerk away like he thought about doing. Instead he swallowed in resposne. "You know that right? We're here for you, no matter what."

"Thanks," Reid suddenly whispered. He felt JJ kiss him on the cheeks again before leaving. As he heard the door close he let a tear roll down his cheek before a nurse came in.

He forced himself to stop crying and refused to look at her and stared out the window wishing desperatly for this all to be over. Wishing that it never happened.