Author's Notes: Another Facebook fic. Like the others, this could be seen as part of a series of as a standalone. I'm posting this despite the hesitations I have about the second-to-last section. Anyway, Toby joins Facebook. I tried to make Toby's wall kind of Tobyish...for example, he seems like he'd be more likely to keep things to himself than post them to his wall for all to see, so he doesn't do much with statuses. He spends most of his work day listening to other people's problems, so this is full of that.
Also, a random tidbit of information: when a name is bolded in someone else's post (ex: Michael Scott Toby Flenderson, I hate your guts), it means that the person writing the post (Michael) is tagging the bolded name (Toby), and the post therefore shows up on the tagged person's wall.
Disclaimer: Nothing mentioned in this belongs to me.
Toby Flenderson is on Facebook
Recent Activity:
Toby listed Sasha as his daughter.
Toby and Jim Halpert are friends.
Toby likes Annie Hall
Toby and Michael Scott are friends
Recent Activity:
Toby likes Damages
Toby likes Toy Story 2
Michael Scott why are you watching kids movies, you pedophile?
Toby and Kelly Kapoor are friends
Jim Halpert Hey Toby, sorry I didn't get back to you at work today. But yeah, I can watch Sasha for you this Saturday.
Toby Flenderson Thanks Jim.
Recent Activity:
Toby is friends with Darryl Philben, Holly Flax, and Dwight K Schrute.
Toby is divorced
Michael Scott you've always been divorced & u are a dishonest person for just admitting it now.
Toby Flenderson Just admitting it now? I've never lied about my divorce, Michael.
Michael Scott you lied to facebook, duh. You just listed yourself as divorced now. It was a lie of omission before.
Dwight K Schrute You're such an idiot, Toby.
Kelly Kapoor Hi Toby!
Toby Flenderson Hi
Recent Activity:
Toby likes Costa Rica
Toby likes Jay Farrar
Toby and Amy Smith are friends.
Toby and Fr. Rick Bastaan are friends.
Fr. Rick Bastaan Toby, haven't seen you since you were in seminary. I've missed you. What have you been doing?
Toby Flenderson Hi, Fr. Rick. I work for HR at a small paper company here in Scranton. Cathy and I divorced and have a daughter named Sasha.
Fr. Rick Bastaan Well, if you're ever in the area, stop by St. Sebastian. Love you see you again.
Recent Activity:
Toby likes Brad Paisley
Toby likes Say Anything
Michael Scott the title of this song is all about you.
VIDEO: The Beatles, "I'm a Loser"
Michael Scott you're also a real nowhere man.
Holly Flax That was kind of mean.
Andy Bernard I'm a looooser! And I'm not what I appear to be…love that song.
Dwight K Schrute Andy, you are a true imbecile. You completely missed the point of Michael's post.
Andy Bernard D-man! Don't hate on the NardDog, totally uncool.
Oscar Martinez Stop it, all three of you. There is just too much hate here right now.
Dwight K Schrute You can't tell me what to do, Oscar.
Jim Halpert Are you quite sure he is physically incapable of bossing you around, Dwight?
Dwight K Schrute He probably is, but for the sole purpose of shutting you up, Jim: OSCAR MAY NOT TELL ME WHAT TO DO. There, are you happy now?
Michael Scott dwight, jim, would you guys shut it? I keep getting notifications about your nonsense.
Recent Activity:
Toby and David Wallace are friends.
Toby and Oscar Martinez are friends.
Toby joined the Dunder Mifflin Network
Michael Scott NO…no, you are NOT part of our family. Dislike, dislike, dislike!
Holly Flax Michael calm down.
Dwight K Schrute Toby, send those monthly forms to corporate. Don't forget like last time.
Recent Activity:
Toby and Andy Bernard are friends.
Toby and Kelly Erin Hannon are friends.
Kelly Erin Hannon Hi Toby:)
Recent Activity:
Toby likes Carrie Underwood.
Kelly Erin Hannon love her! I didn't know you were a fan, too:)
Michael Scott you fail at life.
Holly Flax Dislike.
Kelly Kapoor What a day at work! Ryan Bailey Howard is a total jerk…I'm glad that Andy Bernard is such a good friend and Toby Flenderson is a great listener. Missed you today, Kelly Erin Hannon. That's about all from me for now…night facebook.
Michael Scott Toby Flenderson is many things. He's everything that's wrong with the paper business, the antichrist, and the devil. He technically works corporate, so he's not part of our DM family…he's also divorced, so he's not even part of his own family.
Holly Flax Michael! That was terribly mean and uncalled for.
Michael Scott I'm sorry, hollypop. ='(
David Wallace Happy birthday!
Kelly Kapoor HAPPY BIRTHDAY TOBY!
Jim Halpert Happy birthday, man.
Oscar Martinez Happy birthday, Toby.
Kelly Erin Hannon happy birthday toby! :)
Fr. Rick Bastaan Happy birthday Toby! Hope it's a good one.
Holly Flax Happy birthday, Toby! =)
Michael Scott Holly, you are way too good for toby. I hate the thought of you wasting 2 secs of your life writing that…
Holly Flax Michael, I don't have problem with Toby. You're the one who hates him for seemingly no reason, and honestly, I think it's kind of immature. Grow up.
Michael Scott grow up, really? excuse me 4 trying to be a good friend and warn you what a jerk toby is.
Holly Flax It seems to me like you're the jerk here.
Michael Scott Fine then…maybe i was wrong…I guess all people in h.r. are SCUM!
Dwight K Schrute Way to indirectly kill a beautiful friendship, Toby.
Dwight K Schrute
Digital Photographs Taken During the 2009 Annual Company Picnic
In this picture: Toby Flenderson, Holly Flax, Michael Scott
Kelly Kapoor Cute pics. Obviously before Michael & holly had that big fight, tho..
Kelly Erin Hannon yeah…their skit was kind of cute.
Dwight K Schrute I have several pictures of that skit in the album, if either of you are interested.
Michael Scott they probably saw them, Dwight…they're not stupid.
Kelly Kapoor Michael! Did you and Holly ever make up?
Kelly Erin Hannon yes, did you?
Michael Scott no. holly is a LOSER that I want nothing to do with.
Kelly Erin Hannon so harsh:(
Michael Scott It. Is. The. Truth.
Holly Flax Dwight, could you please quit retagging me in the pics after I untag myself? I don't like getting the notifications.
Kelly Kapoor you guys were such great friends, though! You were more than friends! Don't let some little thing get in the way of that =(
Michael Scott You don't understand.
Kelly Kapoor No, I honestly don't understand why you hate Holly all of a sudden. You two were totally the best of friends.
Kelly Erin Hannon yes, even though that was before my time here…you guys had such great chemistry during your skit at the company picnic.
Michael Scott Things change.
Holly Flax DWIGHT! Stop re-tagging me!
Dwight K Schrute I want these pictures to be tagged correctly. You are in these pictures…I have no choice but to accurately tag them.
Jim Halpert Split infinitive, Dwight. You really should respect Holly's wishes.
Kelly Kapoor But don't you miss her, Michael?
Michael Scott No. She's h.r. scum.
Kelly Kapoor C'mon Michael, be honest.
Michael Scott I said no…well….maybe I miss who I thought she was. But only a little bit.
Kelly Erin Hannon now we're getting somewhere:)
Holly Flax I've always been the same person. It's the way you see me that's changed.
Michael Scott um, no…I'm pretty sure YOU did change.
Holly Flax No. If anyone's changed, it's definitely YOU.
Kelly Kapoor Ok, you've got to quit arguing and talk to each other. Holly, why do you say Michael's the one who changed?
Holly Flax I…no. I am not doing this on Facebook.
Michael Scott see…she thinks she's too good for facebook!
Holly Flax You're putting words in my mouth. That's not what I said.
Michael Scott so what were you trying to say then?
Holly Flax I have enough self respect to not let what was once the relationship with my best friend be reduced to some facebook drama!
Michael Scott Did you really mean that?
Holly Flax I wouldn't have posted it if I didn't.
Michael Scott We were best friends…
Holly Flax WERE. At one point. Apparently I'm HR scum now.
Michael Scott I never said…oh, I did.
Holly Flax twice
Michael Scott I shouldn't have said that…Holly, can I call you?
Holly Flax Yeah.
Toby Flenderson I'm never on Facebook much…thinking of deleting it…
A/N: I don't know how realistic it is that Michael and Holly would post all of that on Facebook, but other than that, I hope this was alright. Anyway, Michael calls Holly and they put aside their differences. Somewhere along the line, Holly and AJ broke up. Michael and Holly are friends again for awhile, and then they become more than friends, and then they live happily ever after. I have thought about this way too much.
I like that Jim correcting Dwight's grammar has become something of a reoccurring theme in these.
Let me know whose wall you guys want next...I'm thinking Dwight, maybe.