A near death experience can change everything. It can make a person question who they are and what they believe and who they want to be. But no matter what, in the end, they're still the same person. ChuckxBlair. Blair is mugged a few days into her summer break in France.

Wow, again, thank you so much for the great reviews! I really, really appreciate all the responses to this story. :)

Her mind is hazy as she watches the city pass by in a blur outside the limo's tinted windows.

She isn't sure where she's headed and she can't remember being picked up, but she knows she must be going somewhere special. She's dressed to the nines in a flowing black Chanel dress and there's extravagant diamonds adorning her wrist as well as her neck. She fingers the piece against her throat and smiles in recognition; Chuck's necklace.

There's a glass of champagne in her hand and it bubbles on her tongue like the excitement in her stomach.

Without warning, the limo comes to a horribly abrupt stop and she finds herself gripping the edge of the seat to keep herself from slipping off. She frowns, spying her champagne spilled across the car floor.

Sliding across the seat, she shoves open the door before stepping into the night and out on the curb in a fuss. She quickly stomps her way to front of the limo, ready to give Chuck's driver a piece of her mind, but she instead finds the seats to be empty. Her brow furrows in confusion and she looks around her for the man, but instead finds herself completely and utterly alone. Not one other car or person is anywhere in sight, something that is simply not possible in New York. Her hearts starts to beat a little faster in fear and a chill runs down her back as she turns to see where the limo had stopped.

She finds herself staring up in complete confusion at a church and she starts towards it quickly. As she makes her way up the stairs towards the doorway, her palms start to sweat with nervousness, but she's always been good at pretending to be courageous, so she doesn't hesitate to push open the heavy oak doors and let herself inside.

Warm light covers her and draws her into the church where hundreds of candles sparkle and burn around the room and modest bouquets of peonies line the empty pews.

She gazes lovingly around and there's butterflies in her stomach, fluttering out of control in pure joy as she comes to the conclusion that Chuck must have set this up for her. Her eyes travel to the altar where she just knows her beloved is waiting for her.

Her breath stops.

At the end of the aisle before her, sits an open, white coffin surrounded by a sea of peonies. She's instinctively drawn to it and her feet start moving of their own accord towards the ornate box with silver details, even as her heart races out of control in her chest. The closer and closer she gets to the front of the church, the slower her steps get, because she knows who's in that casket, and before she can even begin to process it, she's staring down at her own pale, lifeless face.

"Blair was my best friend.."

She jumps at the sudden voice echoing through the church and turns to see Serena has appeared a few feet away at the podium.

"..We didn't always get along, but I always knew I could count on her to be there when it mattered most. She was the most loyal person I know, and if you were lucky enough to love her and be loved by her, she was going to make sure she did everything in her power to make sure you were always okay. I don't know where I'd be without her and I don't know how I'll be able to go on, but I'll always remember her and I'll always love her."

There's a empty, nauseous feeling in her stomach as she watches her best friend talk so passionately through her tears. This can't be happening. She can't be.. dead? She watches Serena walk back to her seat and is taken back when she sees that the pews have suddenly filled with all of her friends and family, but she's even more at a loss at who she sees standing to take the podium next.

He walks evenly and his eyes look vacant and emotionless, but she can tell he's not drunk and he's not high. His suit is perfectly pressed and his hair is combed and she wonders if he's hurt at all by her supposed death. He takes a deep breath at the podium and looks out at the crowd before calmly starting.

"Blair Waldorf is.."

He abruptly stops and she can see his jaw tighten as he drops his head to look at the ground. There's a long moment of silence that leaves her stomach twisting, before he takes a strangled breath and looks towards her and the coffin. Their eyes meet, and she knows he doesn't really see her, but she can clearly see every once of his pain shining in his suddenly watery brown eyes and it overwhelms her. She can see him trembling as he looks out at the crowd again.

"Blair Waldorf was.."

He trails off again as tears start to slip down his cheeks and he doesn't bother to wipe them away as her own tears start to fall at the sight of him. He looks down at the floor again in absolute despair before mumbling some sort of apology and rushing off the altar and down the aisle.

Her heart absolutely shatters and she follows him towards the exit as quickly as she can, calling out his name, but he doesn't hear her. She follows him out of the church and into the darkened, empty streets but she doesn't see which way he goes and she doesn't stop running to find him until after she's gotten so far from the church and the limo she doesn't know how to get back. Her mind is frantic; she has to find him, she has to find him before he does something stupid.

A sudden bump against her shoulder jars her from her thoughts and makes her gasp.

"Keep your mouth shut or I'll shoot."

She feels the sharp, metallic jab into her side and the sweaty hand pulling her into an alley and suddenly she remembers how she must've died. She remembers being shot because she fought back, and she's not sure how she could have been so dumb as to fight someone with a gun. So she doesn't fight back, she lets him take her diamond bracelet, her heart ring from her father, and even the necklace Chuck had given her. She's already imagining calling him to say she's alive and needs a replacement when the man steps back and studies her.

"Take off your dress."

She stands frozen in fear, her stomach dropping. She doesn't know what to do; she doesn't want to die, but she doesn't want to give in to this either.

"I said take off your dress," he repeats slowly, his brow turned in rage as he pulls out his gun and points it at her.

She shakes her head no just the slightest and suddenly he's on her, pushing and pulling on her gown while keeping the gun dug into her side. For a moment she lets him, until her lingerie is exposed and there's fresh tears on her cheeks as she chokes back sobs, but then she snaps. She fights back with all her might, kicking and scratching, and waits for the gunshot, almost longs for it, but it never comes. Instead, her attacker pulls back and slams the pistol into the side of her head.

He lets her fall to the ground, and as she blinks through the blackness overtaking, she can feel him on her once again.

She tries to fight again, but her limbs are like jelly and her mind is too tired. All she can do is sob as he hikes up her dress and his disgusting fingers pull at her panties. Her whole body goes into overdrive in fear, her heart pounds, her stomach turns, her throat tightens, and her fingers shake as she waits for what she knows comes next.

Blair's eyes flash open, looking wildly around her as she comes out of her dream in panic.

Before she has a chance to think better of it, she frantically pushes herself up to sit and look around the room. Instantly her body protests the movement and she cries out in sheer agony at the pain that starts in her side and runs deep through what feels like every nerve in her body. She crumples in on herself, her breath coming out in choked gasps as she leans forward and grabs desperately at her wound.

There's tears falling on her pale cheeks as she hears the door open, but she's wincing so hard in pain that she can't bear to look up and see who it is.

"Go get a doctor!"

She hears someone yell and she knows the voice instantly, and it's only further confirmed when one of his warm hands lands on her back.

"Chuck," she sobs, and in this moment where she is completely overwhelmed by absolute terror and agony, she can admit to herself that she couldn't be more relieved that he was the one to walk in.

"I'm here," he assures her strongly as his stomach drops in worry while his mind focuses on making sure she's okay.

He presses a kiss to her hair, which seems to be damp from sweat and makes him even more concerned. He smoothes his palm against her warm forehead for a moment, concluding that she probably has a fever, before pulling one of her trembling hands into his.

He whispers word of reassurance to her as she grips back his hand tight, making his heart ache for her. Her heart monitor is beeping what seems to him to be way too fast and her breathing is ragged and quick and he wishes he could take away all the pain that's making her suffer. "Shh, Blair, you're okay. You're going to be okay," he murmurs gently against her ear. "You have to calm down though."

She tries to listen to him and take a deep breath but she can't seem to do anything but continue to cry.

It kills him to not be able to help her and he can't stand to listen to her sobbing anymore and is caught between sighing in relief and screaming at the doctor when he appears.

"How long has she been like this?"

"I don't know, a few minutes," he answers quickly. "I think she has a fever and she's in a lot of pain."

He watches as the doctor mumbles some orders in French to a nurse before she runs out of the room in search of something. "She might have an infection, but first of all, she definitely shouldn't be sitting up like this. Her wound is too fragile still." He puts a hand on Blair's arm, trying to get her attention. "Ms. Waldorf? I'm going to need you to lie back down, okay?"

She nods a little through her tears and Chuck helps her back down on the bed slowly and she whimpers as he moves her.

"Can I have you step outside for a few minutes, sir?" the doctor orders more than asks as the nurse reappears and starts futzing with Blair's IV.

He hesitates and meets Blair's gaze. Her red-rimmed, brown eyes are wide and fearful as she looks up at him, and he swears he can feel her hand tighten around his. He can't leave her alone like this.

"Come on, man," Nate suddenly calls, pulling on his arm, and Chuck had honestly forgotten he was even there. Easily, he shakes him off and turns back to Blair.

He watches as the doctor moves the blanket on the bed down to her hips to protect her modesty, before lifting her hospital gown. He swallows as he sees the flat expanse of her stomach that he knows so well with a large, gauze bandage on one side, the few patches of bright red on it scaring him to his core.

"What happened? Why is she still bleeding?" he demands.

The doctor eyes him in frustration. "Young man, you need to wait outside," he tells him again as he carefully peels back the edge of her bandage.

"Just tell me what's going on," he barks in demand, causing the room to stop in tense silence at his outburst. He takes a deep breath to calm himself, meeting the doctor's gaze before softening and almost begging, "Please."

The doctor sighs, looking between the two teenagers, and reluctantly gives in. "It looks like a few of her stitches are torn," he explains rapidly. "I need to go prepare to restitch this and by the time get I back, she should be asleep and you need to be gone, okay?"

He nods in agreement, only because he doesn't have a choice.

She sees people leaving and tenses, pulling on his hand to keep him there. "Chuck," Blair mutters again, her eyes starting to droop from whatever the nurse gave her.

He kisses her hand and brushes his fingers against her forehead and into her auburn locks. "I'm still here, Waldorf," he tells her softly. "I'm not going anywhere."

Moving up the bed, he sits on the side and pulls her hand into his lap and holding it firmly. Gently, he grazes his fingers across her cheeks, wiping away the remnants of her tears. He studies her beautiful face and he is taken back by how pale and utterly weak she looks. For the first time he truly understands how close he was to really losing her.

Her body feels heavy, her head feels thick, and she knows she's going to be out within seconds. She opens her tired eyes to see him looking down at her with love and concern and she can't help but be comforted by his mere presence.

She lets her lids fall closed again and she feels his warm lips brush against her cheek. As she drifts off she swears, she swears she hears him tell her those three words, eight letters she hasn't heard in what feels like so long.

–––

If Chuck thought he had felt unwelcome before, he doesn't know how to explain what it feels like to be in the waiting room now.

After Eleanor had frantically returned to the hospital, she had to be physically restrained by both Cyrus and Harold from getting security to throw him out. Of course she thought this was all his fault and seemed ready to tear his eyes out when she heard he had snuck back to visit her daughter.

He gives up on his restless pacing and drops into a chair next to Serena, avoiding Eleanor's gaze as she glares him down from across the room. He has to admit he's surprised she hasn't attacked him yet, because ever since Harold went back to sit with Blair, he's been waiting for it. But she can do whatever she wants to him, because there's no way he's leaving.

He sighs to himself as he thinks about how frail and panicked Blair was. He doesn't think he'll ever be able to forget how she looked in that hospital bed and how scared he was when he heard her crying. There's a hollow feeling in his gut that hasn't gone away since he saw her frightened eyes looking up at him. It's been hours upon hours since he was kicked out of her room and he needs to see her again, but he can't help but wonder if she'll want to see him.

"Chuck," Serena interrupts his thoughts, elbowing him. "Maybe it's time you go to the hotel and get some sleep. Take a break from all this."

He lets out a heavy breath, not even bothering to answer her.

"Or at least to take a shower," she continues, teasing him and trying to lighten the mood. "You look like crap."

"Impossible, sis," he drawls tiredly, sinking back into his seat.

She laughs wryly at him before growing serious as she studies him. "Why'd you sleep with Jenny?" she asks curiously out of the blue.

His eyes instantly widen at her. "Serena," he growls lowly.

"What? It's a legitimate question," she defends. "It's obvious you still love B, and we've been sitting here forever and I'm bored. So just open up to your dear sister and tell me why you did it."

He sighs and shakes his head, giving in. "It was a mistake," he explains quickly. "Blair didn't show up and I thought that meant she didn't love me anymore."

"But she was just running late. Maybe if you waited more than a half an hour before jumping into bed with.."

"I didn't know she was running late," he interrupts quickly. "Of course, if I had thought she was ever going to show, I would have waited forever for her. She should have called me or text me and told me she was on her way and I would have stayed."

"She would have never done that," Serena quickly points out. "It would have ruined the perfect Hollywood ending we both know she had built up in her head. You're distraught and lost thinking she's never going to show, and then she bursts in and you suddenly know she loves you too and you both live happily ever after."

A small, melancholy smile forms on his lips at the thought of Blair and her endearing but sometimes unrealistic dreaming. "You're probably right," he concedes And if she had been on time, that would have been exactly what happened; happily ever after. He even had the ring to ensure it and it hasn't left his suit pocket since.

"From now on though, maybe it'd be wise to only replicate romantic gestures that actually worked from movies. I mean, Deborah Kerr got hit by a car on the way to the Empire State Building," Serena tells him teasingly but slightly horrified at the same time. "And just so you know, Cary Grant waited until midnight before he gave up. I still think you should have.."

"I know, Serena, I should have waited longer," he agrees again tiredly. "At the time, though, I was too.." heartbroken, he finishes in his head, but doesn't say. "I thought I had finally messed up so badly that she was through with me for good. So when seven o'clock passed, I just assumed it was over forever and I couldn't handle it," he tells her sadly. "But somehow, I actually managed to mess it up more and truly ruin it forever."

"I don't think you can ever really ruin it forever, Chuck," she assures her brother softly. "Blair loves you. You just need to regain her trust and make sure she feels safe with you again. It might take awhile, but she'll let you back in at some point. You guys love each other too much for her not to."

He fiddles with his fingers and looks down at the floor. "I can't stop thinking… What if this was it? What if she hadn't made it?" he quietly admits, his voice nothing more than a hoarse whisper. "What if she had died and the last time I talked to her it was a fight? What if she died not knowing how much I love her?" He pauses, shaking his head to himself. "She was in so much pain and so weak when I saw her. I didn't realize how close she was to.."

"But she didn't," Serena interrupts, gently placing a hand on his shoulder. "She's still here. You have a second chance to change all that."

He closes his eyes in thought, wringing his hands. Serena is right; he does have a second chance. He needs to stop focusing on what could have happened and start thinking about what had. Blair is still here and he is going to do everything he can to prove he is worthy of her once again.

"Chuck?"

He looks up to see Harold standing in the archway, looking at him hesitantly, a fuming Eleanor at his side.

"Blair's asking for you to come see her."

Chuck immediately stands and takes a deep breath to steady himself. It is time to start the second chance he's been given to win Blair Waldorf all over again.

TBC...