Him

Ok, so, I'm in my room. There's not a sound. Just me thinking, back to the day that we met. I can't help that I feel in love with you. I can't believe you were to dumb to figure it out. What am I to do now? I still think about you. When it was, what was supose to be, our one year anniversity I felt like crying. I wouldn't talk to anyone. Everyone says to forget about you but I just can't. I had never felt that way, like I actually belonged some were. Gosh I don't sound like myself. Look what you've done to me. I don't think you even care. And now I'm writing this email that you will never get. Listen to me. I sound so sad and lonley. I wish you were here so I could have you in my arms. I'm gonna tell you something I never got to tell you. I love you, you were my first love and will always have a place in my heart.

I looked at my computer screne at the email I just wrote and started back spacing letters that I had just typed on there. This is so sad, all other guys I had dated I hadn't done this with. Why was he any different? What made him so special? He never even showed his true feelings for me. Why was I feeling this way?

My heart was broken. It was shattered, all over the ground. I couldn't do anything about it. I tried dating other guys. I just ended comparing them to him.

Him.

Gosh I missed him so much. We never even really broke up. He just up and left me. I felt myself with him. I didn't even believe in love til I met him. I had always pictured myself growing up alone with no kids or nothing. I thought love wasn't there for me. That was til he came along. He changed everything for me.

I was just sitting in my room, in my, what I called sad, blue blanket. I was listening to the song I had set for when he called me. I hadn't heard my phone ring that song in over a year. I would never change my number when I got new phones just in case he tried calling me. I always had that hope in me.

Just then someone knocked on my door. I let them in to see it was Harper. She new about how I felt with him even though she never really liked him in the first place.

"What do you want Harper?" I asked her not in the moode to talk to anyone.

"I came to make sure my best friend was ok. Your mom told me you wouldn't talk to anyone today."

"I don't feel like talking right now. I still miss him, no matter what anyone says I will not forget him." I told her and she shook her head saying she understood.

"Ok if you need a friend you know were to find me," She said going back to her house where her parents were probally fiting again.

XOXOXOXOX

I had just stepped inside our school. I hadn't talked to anyone all weekend at all. I got to my locker when Harper walked over to me and said something about someone liking me. I just shook my head. She new I would give anyone a chance to just prove everyone wrong. To act like I had moved on from him. It made everyone stop asking questions.

"So who is the guy this time?" I ask her in one of my sad moodes. I hated school its were I had all my meories of him. It had the best memories of my life. I missed him so much.

"Its the new british guy Mason," She said to me. At least its a cute guy this time.

"Well alright," I said to her that's when he just happened to walk over.

"Hi Alex and Harper," He said to us right when Harper walked off to go get her books from her locker.

"Hey Mason, so did you want something?" I ask him with a look that said just get on with it.

"Yea I was wanting to know if you would like to go out sometime?" He ask me making me think. Did I really want to go out with him? Maybe just for a little bit to figure things out.

"Sure I'd love to go out with you," I told him with a honest smile. Maybe I could finally forget about him. Maybe this was the time for change.

"Great how about I pick you up at seven on Friday?" He ask me with a smile.

"Ok that sounds good to me," I told him with a real slash fake smile. I hated being like this but maybe he would be the one to change me. Who am I kidding he had done did that. Mason wouldn't be able to do that.

"So your going on a date with Mason Friday, maybe he'll be the one to change you back," Harper said coming back from her locker.

"I don't think so Harper. Chris, James, and Mike, the other three we gave a chance to, didn't work out so much," I told her making her think back to them.

"Well, that's because on Mike he was cheating on you, James just didn't like it cause you wouldn't talk to him but on text message, and Chris we still don't know why you went out with him," Harper told me which in all fairness was true.

"Yea I guess," I told her right when the bell rang for us to go to class. I walked right to my clas thanking the lord that it was Monday. A far away time from my date with Mason. Something just didn't feel right with him. I was scared to find out what it was but new it was coming.

XOXOXOXOX

Friday came alot quicker then I wanted it to come. Me and Mason talked a little on the phone and at school but not much. It just didn't feel right with Mason, but with him it felt so right. Right now I was asleep since it was still the night dreaming about of coruse him.

I had just woke up from my sleep and got dressed and ready for the school day. I hated going to school but like I said it had the best memories when it came to him. I walked up to my family who I really hadn't talked to much this week. They new how I felt when it came to boys. I didn't like talking about it. They didn't get this, they just kept annoying me with it.

"Honey you have to talk to us about this Mason guy sometime," Mom came up and told me.

"No I don't you said you wanted me to move on and when I try you seem not to like it! Would you please make up your mind on this," I told them not going into tears considering I was all dryed up of tears.

"We just want best for you Alex and you know that," Mom told me with a small smile.

"Yea sweetheart what your mom is telling you," Dad said to me. I know they want the best for me but still.

"I know guys, but just give me time to sort this all out," I told them and they just shook there heads yea.

I finally got to school, after a long time of talking to my parents about everything. They drove me nuts sometimes but I still loved them for it. When I got there I saw Justin making out with his girlfriend Juliet. That was just gross to see.

"Alex are you ready for your date with Mason tonight?" Harper came up and ask me with a big smile.

"No not really but whatever," I told her with a sad smile.

"Well just get cheered up its only a night," She told me which she had a point on that.

"Yea I guess your right," I told her with a smile.

"Always have been," She said to me making me laugh for the first time that whole week. Just then the bell rang for first period to start. The rest of the day went by real fast too. It was now time for my date with Mason. He seemed like a nice guy but something about him seemed not so good.

"So, Alex," He said to me, "What are you thinking about?"

"Um, well, I'm not really hungry," I told him which was true I really wasn't I hadn't been eating like I was supose to.

"Oh ok," He said with a devil smile on him. Something was up I could tell.

"You now what can we do this date another time I don't feel so good," I told him he just shook his head yea, but when we got to the car him and his buddies started tying me up. When I seen this I started screaming for help. I was lucky enough to have someone hear me scream. He came over there to where we were.

"Alex?" It was his voice, the voice I've missed so much this little bit.

"Dean? Can you please help me?" I ask him while he started beating Mason and his possy up. I got out of the rope and went and huged him. God the one that I've missed so much.

"What were they doing to you?" He ask me as we went back into the restraunt that Mason had taken me to.

"I really don't know me and Mason were on a date I told him I wasn't feeling good and wanted to go home then they started tying me up," I told him almost in tears. He was the only guy who had seen me cry. Not even my own dad had seen that happen.

"Ok but I could see you didn't like him so why you were on a date with him?" He ask me making me hate how much he new me so well.

"Trying to get over you. I still like you it had been over a year so my family said I need to get back out there, but why are you back in town?"

"Well, I got the email you said I wouldn't get and came back here to be with you," He told me making my heart pound for him.

"Really? But why did you leave in the first place?" I ask him coming back to reality.

"Because my dad got a new job somewere else and I had to go with him," He said to me.

"But why didn't you tell me before you left?" I ask him making him have to think very careful about what he was going to say.

"Because I loved you and new that you didn't want to be in love in the first place, so I thought it would just be easier on both of us if I didn't say anything. Now I see I was wrong," He told me with a sad smile.

"Well, that was the past and this is now so how about we get back together?" I ask him making him grin that grin I missed so much.

"Yea I think I would like that," He said leaning in and kissing me. That's when I realized that I would get married and have kids one day all because of

HIM!

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This one kinda hits home a little!

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Bye for now guys!