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::Letters to You::

by

::Madame Awkward::

Natsume Hyuuga

I remember very single detail of our first meeting. How you blasted the Academy's wall apart, how Narumi made you faint, how you treated me oh-so rudely and how you stole, my, underwear. And yes, I am never going to let it go. It was safe to say that ever since then, we wanted to rip each others throats off. Yet somehow, the rage we shared, the disgust we had for each other and the hatred that served as a barrier for our friendship faded away and thus, we became friends and slowly, something more.

It was widely known in the Academy that you were a moody, laconic, I-don't-give-a-damn-if-the-world-ends-tomorrow guy, and also the fact that I'm the clumsy, loud, energetic and annoyingly optimistic girl. No one at that time would've imagined us being in the relationship we now have today. You were the cat, I was a dog; I was yin, you were yang, we were polar opposites, but I guess opposites do attract huh? In a way, we complemented each other perfectly. I taught you that the world is never shrouded in darkness all the time, I showered you with sunlight; you taught me that reality can be harsh and the world isn't all sugars-and-rainbows, you gave my floating feet a ground to stand on.

Natsume, we've shared so many things together. Our first date, our first kiss, our Last Dance in the Alice festival and who could ever forget our constant bickerings and laughters? But Natsume, to me, those are not enough. Call me greedy or generous, but I want to share so much more with you. I want to hold your hand and share a place we can call home with you; I want to share a perfect wedding in the countryside with you as the groom; I want to share two beautiful children with you, a boy and a girl; I want to share every single moment with you, good and bad. But what's most important is that I want to share a future with you, even if it wont be all sugars-and-rainbows. I do not want to classify things as 'yours' or 'mine'; I want then all to be 'ours' instead.

People tell me that at seventeen, I'm too young to understand what 'love' is. They tell me that what I feel towards you is just infatuation, that it's just 'a phase'. But deep inside me, you have no idea how much I wanted to scream 'You are wrong!' right into their faces. Normal high school heartbreaks would probably consist of crying and screaming, but after a while, it will all pass. When you walked into the battlefield during the War, I wanted to scream and cry. I wanted to. But I did not because I could not. An immensely strong fear of losing you was clutching my heart with its strong talons. I could not breathe, I could not move, I couldn't even think. My mind was blank and my body was numb. The pain in my heart was so intense and for a moment there, I truly thought that I was going to die of heartbreak. For that awful month, I couldn't eat without barfing; couldn't sleep without being haunted by nightmares of losing you. I was like a living zombie. Perhaps, all my energy was kept to pray for your safe return.

At last, after a month of bloodshed, you came walking back to me with your trademark smirk, minor scars covering your body. At that precise moment when my eyes found you in flesh and blood, alive, I broke down and cried out tears of joy. My legs regained their strength in a second and I ran into your waiting arms, gripping onto you so tightly so that you won't disappear from me again. I never want to let you go, Natsume. I know that if I lose you one more, god knows how broken I will be. To those who've lost their loved ones to a war yet managed to move on with their lives, I salute them. Because you know what, Natsume? I know that I'll never have the courage to stand up on my own two feet again if you were gone.

Natsume Hyuuga, I love you so much that words will never suffice.

End.

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