Grabbing Knickers and Touching Boobies by Luvscharlie

Warnings: Sexual situations, They're 16
A/N: Originally written for the 2010 Summer Theme Thingy at the hp_wishes community on Live Journal where the request was for Charlie/Tonks and a prompt of "You want me to do what?"

"You want me to do what?" Charlie asked, aghast at such a suggestion. "Have you gone round the bend, Dora?"

"Oh come on," Tonks said, near bouncing with excitement. "It'll be fun."

"Fun for who? Mum'll skin me if she finds out."

"Then don't let her find out, thick head. We won't get caught. Besides, since when are you scared of your mummy?"

Charlie looked indignant. "I'm not," he said, puffing out his chest. "But last time I let you talk me into something like this—oh, even the thought of that Howler hurts my ears."

"No doubt, your brother's a right little tattle-tale," Tonks said, nodding her agreement, and considering how best to put Percy Weasley, the little busybody in his place—but that would wait for another time. "But Charlie, just imagine the rush. Merlin, it will be amazing." She finished the sentence with a blissful sigh. "Come on," she pleaded in a voice that was a high pitched whine, "I could never get Bill to do this. But you—well you're a different story. You like dragons and fast broom sticks and you're really good at making cauldrons explode, and—"

"That was a complete accident," Charlie interrupted. "Nobody told me just a bit of extra Boomslang Skin and the whole thing would go kersplodey!"

Rolling her eyes, Tonks said, "Well, while our textbooks do lack your ability to be so articulate, I'm fairly certain there was mention of an explosion if you added too much Boomslang Skin. It is nice to see your eyebrows growing back in, though. Before, you just looked creepy." Tonks tapped her foot impatiently. "Now come on, let's do it before the teachers all get back from Hogsmeade and we lose our chance. Besides, it'll serve her right for taking away our Hogsmeade privileges for the rest of term."

"That's completely your fault!" Charlie wailed.

"I swear, one little firework in a bowl of soup and you'd think the world had come to an end. McGonagall really should buy herself a sense of a humour while she's down in the village." Tonks crossed her arms and stomped across the room.

"First of all, the Minister for Magic was visiting! I doubt exploding soup was meant to be on the menu."

"Not like I told the House-elves to give him that bowl. I meant for that big nasty Slytherin boy to get it. Totally not my fault."

Charlie shook his head at her. "I'd just like to point out that I didn't do a thing, and I got blamed for your little prank as well. You know, being your mate has its drawbacks. If it weren't for you I'd currently be in the Three Broomsticks staring at Rosmerta's gorgeous tits."

"I resent that! I've taken the blame for your ridiculous jokes more times than I care to count. We won't even go into the time you put the hair remover in my shampoo bottle!"

Charlie kneeled down to tie his trainer. "Yeah, that was one of my better moments. You should have seen the look on your face—and that bright shiny head of yours—and—"

Seeing that she wasn't getting through, and that Charlie was only going to prattle on, Tonks yanked up her top, so that her tits nearly knocked Charlie in the nose. "You were saying?"

"I… er… yeah, I was… um… what was I saying again?"

Charlie's eyes glazed over a bit, and he reached out to touch, but Tonks pulled back and smacked his hand away.

"Oh no, you only get to touch, if you do what I want. Come on, pleeeze," she cajoled. "It'll only serve her right."

"And then you'll let me touch them?" Charlie asked.

Tonks smiled as she nodded… she knew he was beat.

As they crept up the corridor, Charlie whispered. "It's no fair using the boobies. You know I'm powerless against those."

Tonks's voice matched his whisper. "That's why I only use them when I have to. I worry they'll lose their effect if I do it too much."

With a snort, Charlie eased open the door to McGonagall's suite of rooms. "I'm sixteen. There's no such thing as 'too much'.

"Thanks for the information. Now shush. Is the coast clear?"

"How come I gotta shush and you get to keep talking?" Tonks' foot connected with the back of his knee, sending him sprawling into Professor McGonagall's suite of rooms. Tonks pressed herself outside against the corridor wall to wait and see if any yelling commenced or any wards were broken that resulted in Charlie screaming in agony, in which case she would bolt for the Hufflepuff common room. Instead, nothing happened, except for Charlie coming back around the door.

"Oh, very funny, Dora. There are times I really, really hate you."

"Oh come on, Mr. Whiny. It seems we've got the all clear."

"So glad you didn't mind risking my bum to figure that out," Charlie retorted.

"Good of you to take one for the team, Charlie."

"For the record," Charlie said, "this is all about booby touching; we're not a team."

"Noted."

"Now, where do you think ol' McGonagall keeps her knickers?" Charlie asked, looking around the suite.

Tonks was already pawing her way through drawers and came up with a pair of tartan knickers that caused Charlie to wrinkle up his nose. "I'm so not touching those."

"Fine, I'll do the touching, but you have to fly us up to hang these from the Quidditch rings. That'll teach her to take away our Hogsmeade privileges."

"I've got a really bad feeling about this," Charlie said under his breath.

Charlie squeezed a nipple, rolling it experimentally between his thumb and forefinger.

"Ow! For Merlin's sake, Charlie, I said you could touch them, not pull them off!"

"Too rough then?"

"You think?" Tonks asked incredulously. "What was your first clue? The shrieking or when my knee connected with your bollocks?"

"What are you on about? Your knee didn't—OH DEAR GOD, I'm dying!" Charlie groaned and sank to the floor clutching his most favourite parts.

"That knee to the bollocks," Tonks replied, swiping her hands together, tugging down her shirt and walking away. "Gentle, Charlie. Learn to be gentle." She threw those final words back over her shoulder to the writhing, groaning lump on the floor.

The next morning the Great Hall was buzzing with talk of Professor McGonagall's knickers hanging from the Quidditch rings, and Charlie thought he heard his and Tonks's names come up more than once.

"Do you think she knows it was us?" Charlie whispered to Tonks.

"Shut it, and no one will find out," she replied. "Keep your lips buttoned, Weasley."

The Great Hall went silent when Professor McGonagall stood to address them. "I expect that the lot of you have become aware that my unmentionables have taken on a life of their own this morning."

There was a titter of giggles throughout the room.

"Well played," she said, looking directly at Charlie and Tonks. "However, I would like to address the person or persons who have proven themselves so clever."

Charlie and Tonks did their level best to look anywhere except at Professor McGonagall. "I expect that the individual who cannot produce his or her wand today for Transfiguration Class will have a good deal to answer for," she said, holding up Charlie's wand in her hand. He immediately reached for his belt and groaned when his wand was, in fact, missing.

Tonks kicked him hard under the table. "You idiot!"

"This isn't my fault! You distracted me with thoughts of boobies!"