Epilogue - The Cards on the Table
Takani Megumi sighed as she lay back on her futon. Three months had passed since their last trip to Kyoto. That trip had been an exciting three weeks indeed. She'd learned a lot more than basic defense from Omasu during her all-too-brief training, though the woman had offered a continuation any time she was in town as long as the doctor kept in practice.
That morning, however, something Hirosuesan had said once during one of their lunches stuck in her mind.
"When I was in a situation similar to yours, Megumisan, I went for a lark to one of those fortune tellers. She read the cards for me, and though I didn't believe in any of it, I'm still amazed when I think back because it was so accurate. If I'd only followed her advice, I might not have lost my husband the way I did," the old woman had reminisced. She wouldn't ever say what had happened, though Omasu told her that the story had something to do with another woman, now long dead.
Megumi rose slowly from the futon, dressed and slipped out. Her colleague and teacher was already up and having breakfast with the girls.
"Ohayou, Megumisan! Care to join us?" The grandfatherly man smiled up at his young partner as Suzume and Ayame added their own greetings.
"No thank you. I'd like to take a short walk this morning. I'll be back soon." She smiled and slipped out; Genzai and his granddaughters were digging in again, oblivious to her exit.
There was one of those strange Western fortune tellers right near that circus booth where Yahiko's friend worked. The woman supposedly did something called Tarot cards, of which Hirosuesan had spoken, which were supposed to expose the mysteries of one's spirit through symbolism.
Megumi walked quickly and quietly toward the woman's storefront, before the morning crowds were too thick to navigate readily. She peered in to see a rather young looking gaijin woman, perhaps in her late fifties, sitting at a table. There were no crystal balls, no fancy lighting effects, simply a large, square table covered in a white cloth with a chair at either end, with two more near the door. An oversized deck of cards sat at the woman's right hand.
"Close the rope," the cartomancer said. "That way no one will interrupt." Her voice was musical, soft, with hints of an accent Megumi could not place. It seemed to come from all over, and yet no one specific place could lend such mystical calm to the slightly hesitant Japanese she spoke.
Megumi nodded and sat down in the chair nearest her. The woman looked at her and said, "You've come to ask what to do. These cards are knowledgeable; they have been around a long time. Yet I suspect your question requires greater wisdom than these possess, greater understanding than mere years can accumulate." She reached into a silk bag that sat on a small end table to her right and pulled out a different deck of cards, the same size and shape as the others, but somehow they looked richer, newer and yet clearer than the slightly disheveled pile on the table. The art seemed more primitive, in its own way, though as detailed. The doctor looked at the gaijin woman uncertainly. Surely this was no more than a girl? She looked just as Hirosue had described her, ageless and young, and the few wisps of hair that escaped the scarf she wore were dark. Maybe it was the daughter or granddaughter of the woman that the farm-girl had once visited?
"Take them, look through them if you like. Shuffle them until they don't want to be shuffled anymore. And remember to keep your question in your mind. You don't need to ask it aloud; the cards will hear. But be careful how you phrase it. Sometimes the hardest part is knowing what to ask. More often than not, a poorly asked question brings no answer, and a well-phrased query births understanding."
The woman who some called Kitsune took the cards, asking herself why she'd allowed herself to be talked into this. She took a deep breath and formulated her question carefully. Shuffling the cards together slowly, she stared down at her hands as though they were moving outside of her control. "I think that's it," she said as she handed them over.
Nodding, the blue-eyed woman swiftly and silently laid out a card face up, then laid another sideways over that. One more went above those, the next was beneath, the fifth to the right of the pair and the sixth to the left. The next four cards went in a row to the right of the layout, moving upwards.
The cartomancer studied the cards for a long moment, nodding to herself thoughtfully. A smile began to play around her face, working its way towards her lips.
"Come, look at this and see if you can make sense of this without my aid. I suspect your heart and mind are clearer than you've realized."
The woman beckoned her closer, with a deep sly grin, to look at the cards she'd laid on the table.
Megumi looked at them. They were marked in a strange language that looked to her like it was related to Portuguese, possibly English. The cards looked new to her, as if they had never been used despite the woman's claim.
The pictures were supposed to help explain the meaning of the cards, but Megumi was at a loss. None of it seemed to make much sense, though the blindfolded figure holding two strange looking swords made her more than a little nervous. All in all, it didn't look very cheerful. There were several people, and one which was clearly supposed to be Death - after all, a black-cloaked skeleton with a scythe was not exactly an uncommon symbol.
That tower, too, with people falling from it didn't seem to hold much hope either.
She shook her head. "I know nothing of this." It came out quieter than she intended. She didn't really believe in all this nonsense, but it was fascinating. She wanted to hear what the strange woman would say it meant.
"The first card is representative of you. The High Priestess, a woman of virtue and power, strong abilities. She is not given often to flights of fancy, and tends to keep to herself, though is kind and compassionate." She looked up at the querent. "A strong woman, but she has her weaknesses.
"Crossed by the Two of Swords. That is obstacles you are facing, things that may be in your way or that you may have to overcome. They can be inside or out. This card is a choice. You have two ways to go, and you can walk only one road at a time. It is a blind choice you must make with your head and heart, because no one can see the future. You may feel alone, but all is not so dark as it looks, even at the worst."
Megumi nodded. So far what the woman said seemed to be more common sense than anything else. Some things simply were the way they were. Sometimes you could tell things about a person by the way they presented themselves. And people faced choices every day. This wasn't necessarily something specific to her. Her skepticism eased, but still she had to wonder...
"This card," the woman said, pointing to the one at the top of the circle which depicted a hand holding a cup-shaped fountain, "is the Ace of Cups. It can be something you fear may happen, or you hope to attain. Perhaps both. It often symbolizes joy, love, as in the line "my cup runneth over" and is often a symbol of fulfillment.
"Family has much to do with what you wish for, doesn't it," the woman eyed her client shrewdly.
Surprised, Megumi nodded.
"I thought it would."
She pointed to The Tower. "This is your distant past. Your world fell apart, you lost those you cared for, lost everything you held dear. Your life was in jeopardy, was it not?" Without waiting for an answer, she continued. "This is a card of collapse and ruin, of pain and sometimes symbolic of the vengeance of the gods. A war had something to do with it. It can mean collapse, but it can also mean freedom from an established pattern.
"Until recently. The fifth card is something that happened recently in comparison to the fourth, perhaps another obstacle, or an event. It may be someone you have met, or someone who you already knew that had a strong impact upon your life. The Magician indicates a man of skill, with a broad range of abilities, a young and gentle man with a past of his own. Perhaps he pulled you from a bad situation, or simply became a friend to you when you needed one most."
"That would be Kensan," Megumi smiled to herself.
"You love this man?" It was hardly a question.
"He belongs to another," the doctor replied. "And if that one is Kensan, I suspect I know who these two are, assuming they represent people," she said, pointing to the middle two cards in the column. "But what's their significance?"
The cartomancer smiled. "No getting ahead of me, now. This is a very general reading, but I suspect the ends will be more specific. Things are falling into place for you, are they not?"
Megumi nodded. "The next one, the sixth one? It looks like death. What does it mean?" she asked. In spite of her skepticism, she was becoming fascinated and more than a little worried. It was easy to see the connexions to her life in this spread of odd cards.
The woman looked at her, as though taking her measure again before speaking. "It is indeed Death, and in this placement it represents something in the near future, often a person or event that will affect you greatly. The Death Card does not always mean a literal death, but often signifies great changes made in or to one's life. It is hard to judge; often the former brings the latter. Someone close to you, I think. Not family exactly, but someone you care for, in the fairly near future.
"Do not give up hope. It is this change that will lead to a major choice, but not even that is the ultimate decision you'll make. There is a road yet to be traveled and you won't be alone, no matter how lonely you feel."
A chill ran down the young woman's spine as the words were spoken.
"The last four cards are more geared towards the results and desires of those around you than the cross formation. Those were more oriented on events and influences. Think about those as a definition of the situation as it is. The column is more to help you decide a course of action and understand the impact of what you choose.
"Even the wisest man - or woman - may be as The Fool sometimes. Its placement indicates where you are and what you feel about the current situation. The Fool is about to walk blindly and happily off of a cliff, full of the joy of life and innocent of what is about to befall him. Yet he is not alone; the dog indicates loyalty, friendship and support through even the hardest of times. If you look at the Tower and Death cards, I suspect that whatever cliff you're about to walk off is going to hurt when you land at the bottom, but by the same token, the Ace of Cups suggests positivity and the High Priestess a strong woman who has recovered from much and will do so again. A hard time is not unbearable to one who isn't alone," she smiled enigmatically with a finger on the dog's picture.
That struck a chord, and Megumi took an involuntary step away from the table. The gaijin woman watched her but could not understand why exactly the doctor looked almost afraid.
Megumi had remembered something: a note that had slipped from her bag when she'd unpacked from the last trip to Kyoto. A note that had been cryptic and yet reassuring, a note that hadn't been signed but had come undoubtedly from a friend.
Was she walking blindly into a new situation? Which one? She had been making plans all along but none of them were startling or life-changing except perhaps for her eventual return to Aizu... And what did that have to do with her romantic life, which she admitted to herself was what she had had in mind when she'd come in the first place?
She chided herself to wait before jumping to any conclusions. After all, there were still three more cards left in the reading. Why that mattered so much, she didn't understand. Was she beginning to believe? After all, it did seem frighteningly accurate in certain respects. It could be a coincidence, but even luck only went so far...
"The next one, the warrior with a sword. What does that mean?"
"The Knight of Swords? Its placement indicates what you want in this situation. Of course, what you want isn't always right for you, neither is what everyone else wants for you which is the card above that. The Knight of Coins. You say you know who they represent in your life? Both are strong men, impulsive and given to gut reactions. The Knight of Swords is a fighter and a strong one, but he can also be a hothead. His loyalties are as strong as his honor. The Knight of Coins, however, is more given to leisurely pursuits than his counterpart and prefers not to give up what is his. He's not so much a miser as he is fond of his comforts, though as a knight of honor he too will fight viciously to defend what he believes in.
"Do you still think you know who they are?" By the sparkle in her eye, the fortune teller already knew the answer.
Megumi nodded. "I believe I do."
"And you want the Knight of Swords, while everyone else wants the Knight of Coins for you?" Megumi winced. She preferred not to think about that just yet... Not until she had the entire picture spelled out more clearly. She said so.
"Very well then. This is your call, and you have much more time to think about it afterward. The final card is more or less what you end up with.
"It is very interesting, this..." Her grammar slipped and her accent thickened as she stared at the cards. "The Hermit is a solitary soul, usually someone who removes himself from society in order to atone for something, to meditate upon his life, or because he does not look upon others with the love of his fellow humans that would make for happiness inside. Yet if he is the one with whom you are destined to be, he cannot be completely withdrawn, no? Unless it is supposed to be for you to pull away... It can represent a journey, literal or spiritual.
"Are you planning to leave your home for something new, perhaps?"
Again, Megumi was startled by the accuracy of the direction, if not the details, of the question. "I had been thinking to return to the place where I was born," she admitted, watching the card reader nervously.
"Whatever is to be gathered from this, I cannot tell you. It is something for you and you alone to explore and understand. I am sorry I cannot help you any more than that, but the answers have to come from inside you." The women looked at one another with understanding.
"I appreciate what you've done for me." The truth was, nothing had been revealed that Megumi didn't already know, but it did force her to confront many of the issues that had been plaguing her. Death. Change. Love. The hints were dark but not completely bleak.
Megumi paid the cartomancer generously and walked back out into the late morning, crowded streets of Tokyo. How much time had passed while she was inside? She decided to stop at the dojo, but as she walked her mind wandered back to the Tarot reading.
The Death card bothered her the most, especially with that crumbling tower. Even if the latter was in her past - and she could easily believe that! - it was still a troublesome combination, she was sure. Whose death was it? Surely not Genzaisensei's, she prayed. He was not well, but she would not allow him to die for a long time!
The cards she was sure beyond a doubt that represented Sano and Cho worried her even more. She'd tried so hard to ignore the feelings she still had for the blond man, and even harder to learn to love the rough ex-gangster, but it wasn't coming easily.
And then that last card, the Hermit...
That was strangest of all. Was the Hermit a person, or was it symbolic of her decision to return someday to Aizu? Megumi could hardly stop herself from wondering about that. Somehow, she didn't think that if it was a person, it was anyone she knew... was it? Not Kensan, surely, and definitely not Cho. The cards had read truly that she still longed to be with Cho, despite all that had happened. It couldn't be Sano, could it? They were dating, but Megumi's heart wasn't completely in it. They'd had a long talk, and he'd ended up admitting that he wanted to travel, not as Kenshin had but to see the world, and that Megumi's presence had been a part of his decision to put off leaving. They had decided to give it three more months, but the woman realized deep inside that they were not meant to be forever. Then he would travel and she would still be in Tokyo, watching Kensan and Kaoru's relationship grow. Besides, the Hermit just didn't fit him any way she looked at it. So who could it be? Who was it that had left her the unsigned note?
That the person who was the Hermit had left her the note was the only thing that made any sense, but it didn't tell her anything new. Maybe it was Shirojo, or even Kuro. Both were nice enough, but it still didn't fit. Aoshi? "It couldn't be," she told herself, so startled by the thought that she didn't even realize she spoke aloud. Aoshi was meant for Misao, as far as she had always believed.
She sighed to herself, knowing no more than when she'd come to the fortune teller in the first place, and walked back into the dojo.
She was too late. Ayame and Suzume were waiting for her. They looked scared.
"Megumineesan?" Suzume looked up with eyes that held too much unhappiness for a small child.
"Grandpa needs you, Megumineesan. He doesn't feel well," Ayame said, just as upset as her sister.
Megumi took their hands in her own and hurried with them to the clinic, going in ahead of them.
"Go back to the dojo, and tell Kensan I'd like him to please come here. Then stay with Kaoruchan, all right?"
The girls looked even more upset when she wouldn't let them in, but nodded and ran off. Megumi clearly meant business. She couldn't let them see how afraid she was. It was too sudden, this just should not be happening.
She stepped back inside and looked at the figure lying on the floor. He was very pale. "Megumisan."
"Shh, Genzaisensei, save your strength. Here," she said as she brought him the tea they always kept ready these days, the foxglove that helped when his heart was at its worst.
The old man looked up at the young woman. "It won't help."
"Please," she begged, "please don't say that. Drink the tea," she implored, holding his head up with one hand as she knelt at his side and put the cup to his lips.
He was just too tired to argue. The great weight on his chest made breathing so difficult. He wanted nothing more than to rest, but he could not let Megumi down. The young woman, so much paler than usual, tilted the cup of digitalis tea gently and he took slow sips. How much effort it took! How tiring it was, to drink a simple cup of tea...
Fear coursed through her body with every beat of her heart as Megumi tried not to reveal her emotions. She kept her face calm and encouraging, murmuring softly to her colleague as he took weak sips between shallow, ragged breaths. How slowly time went! Where was Kenshin?
As if on cue and in answer to her prayer, a figure appeared in the doorway. "Megumidono? Genzaisensei!" Immediately, he was kneeling at her side, strong and supportive. "What can I do?" The intensity in his gaze was almost too much for the young doctor. Kenshin saw the look in her eyes, saw the old doctor's face, and knew. He laid a hand on Megumi's shoulder and took Genzai's in his other.
"I want to sleep," the old man whispered.
"Please, please Genzaisensei, promise me you'll stay awake, please." Megumi's voice was no more audible than that of the prone figure in her lap.
"Just a short rest. You've always been like my own nagging children." The old man smiled as his eyes closed again.
"Please."
None of them said another word for a long time.
Sanosuke, Kaoru, and Yahiko had followed Kenshin back to the clinic, bringing the girls with them and maintaining a silent vigil outside. Many long minutes passed and they heard nothing. Sano was getting restless, anxious to know what was happening. The idea of breaking down the door had begun to sound like a good one to him when Kenshin emerged at last. There was a wet spot on his shirt, as though someone had cried there. His own eyes were pained and he looked as if he too had been crying.
One look at him told the others everything. Kaoru threw herself into his arms as Suzume and Ayame clung to each of his legs.
"Is she okay?" Sano's voice was thick as he spoke. He looked as though he couldn't decide whether to cry or destroy something.
"I think Megumidono will be all right," Kenshin said softly and Sano slipped into the clinic, silently sitting next to her and putting his arms around her in commiseration.
"The Death Card does not always mean a literal death, but often signifies great changes made in or to one's life. It is hard to judge; often the former brings the latter. Someone close to you, I think. Not family exactly, but someone you care for, in the fairly near future.
"Do not give up hope. It is this change that will lead to a major choice, but not even that is the ultimate decision you'll make. There is a road yet to be traveled and you won't be alone, no matter how lonely you feel."
~No matter how lonely you feel...~ The words would haunt her for many months.
...Owari ja nai - this is not the end.
[AN] For those who don't know, Rider-Waite is one of the most popular Tarot decks put out by U. S. Games and is widely available in most major bookstores (among other places), usually for under $20. Many books on Tarot use the Rider-Waite as the guideline for their descriptions and interpretations. (And I'm not even being paid to say this! ^_^; ) Please look for my forthcoming story, What Need Not Be Said, for further exploration into this not-very-canon timeline. [/AN]