Bullet #1 – Dude Looks Like a Lady

Ding Dong

"Tobi will get it~!" Tobi sang as he skipped towards the door, ignoring the confused musing of his colleagues who were wondering when they got a doorbell. The masked man undid the lock on the door and opened it, peering out at the forest. He blinked in confusion. There was no one there. If it wasn't for the fact the base was in the middle of nowhere, he would've presumed he was ding dong ditched.

Tobi was about to close the door when he noticed a peculiar package sitting on the doorstep. He looked around for any signs of life again, before picking it up and bringing it inside. He set down on the kitchen table and began examining it closely. It was a simple parcel, wrapped in brown paper and tied with white string. There was no name or address on it, telling him it was hand delivered. There was a note slipped under one of the strings, binding it to the package. Tobi plucked the note from under its binding and read it.

Use at your own risk

He blinked at it a few times, before setting it aside. He was very confused as to what the note meant, which led him to feel curious to what was inside the parcel. Tobi tugged at the string, pulling it loose before tearing off the paper. He opened the flaps of the cardboard box and emptied out the contents.

The biggest item was one he had thought only existed in that anime he watched with Hidan – a gun. He poked at it a few times, waiting for it to turn into a little green chameleon. It didn't. Sighing in disappointment, Tobi picked up the three oblong items. Bullets. Each one differed in colour; one was pink, another blue and the last yellow. Lastly, he lifted the sheet of paper, which had the instructions printed on them. Apparently, the bullets were special, and could alter the person they were shot at in appearance or in personality. It was a temporary change that would only last a day, seven minutes for the yellow one, but, a change was a change and Tobi was eager to try it out.

Following the steps closely, he slipped the bullets into the roller carefully before heading to the living room. He stopped outside the door and poked his orange head around the doorframe, peering into the room. Not everyone was present. Pein was most likely doing some paperwork, Hidan and Kakuzu were on a mission and Zetsu went 'grocery shopping'. Everyone else was though.

Tobi looked around the room and pointed the gun, trying to choose who'd be his first victim. Perhaps his beloved senpai or his senpai's partner? Or maybe the second last Uchiha or his fishy partner? He couldn't decide who to pick, so he closed his palm over his eyehole and shot blindly into the room, silently hoping to hit someone.

He had ever been so glad to hear someone scream in his entire life.

Tobi took his hand away from his eyehole and scanned the room for someone acting or looking different. For a moment, he had thought the weapon was defective, that was until Deidara emerged from behind the couch where he fallen due to the impact, rubbing his head.

"What happened, un?" he asked the room, who only responded with stunned stares and suppressed laughs. "What?" he asked, half-dreading the answering. "Is there something on my face?"

"Nope~!" Kisame replied, flashing him a toothy grin. "But there IS something on your chest~!"

Deidara eyed him warily before glancing down to see what the commotion was about. His face turned a ghostly white as the blood drained from his head. "I HAVE BOOBS?" he exclaimed, horrified.

"You have breasts!" Konan corrected him (her?) matter-of-factly.

"That's. Not. HELPING, UN!"

"At least we know what gender you are now," Itachi said casually, earning a laugh from his partner.

Deidara clenched her hands into fists and grinded her teeth together. "I am going to KILL whoever did this, yeah!" Her blonde head whipped around towards the door when she heard a 'thud' and a 'meep', to see an orange and green blur as Zetsu's subordinate shot down the hallway.

"TOBI!" came Deidara's screech and he sprinted after him. The blonde didn't notice the discarded weapon lying forgotten in the doorway.

EXTENDED ENDING

"You should put on a sports bra when you run! It gives you more support!"

"SHUT UP KONAN, YEAH!"