Weeks have passed by and the two have been living together happily in hell. They lived in the River Styx Condominiums where Satan and his ex Chris used to live befor they broke up and it was just the tree of them. Pip learned that Satan wasn't really such a bad guy, he's actully very thoughtful and sensitive, much unlike what the church would says about him.

Who could have geussed a place of torment and sorrow and A place where men are tormented with fire and brimstone could be so pleasant.

During his stay there, him and Damien took many trips up to earth, some back to South Park to wreak havocon the people who have shunned the two of them. Like Damien speeding up puberty for Bebe so that her breast would develop and make all the guys go crazy over her. Or making Wendy uninterested in Stan so that she would break up with him and break his heart and become emo.

And much to Damien's pleasure, making the virgin marry statue bleed out her ass. And even more amusing for him, it is discovered and all the faithful start flocking to the site hoping to be healed. Even Stan's dad is sure the bleeding Virgin can cure him of his alcoholism.

Some trips were to some of the greatest places on earth, Like New York City or the Great Wall Of China and Tokyo Japan. One trip, much to Pip's displeasure and much to Damien's amusement, was to the Eiffel Tower in paris france.

To make up for taking him to France, Damien had to take Pip to england and visit london. What Damien hated most about london was the food he was forced to eat.

But as much fun the two had together, Pip could see that Damien was getting sadder and sadder as time went by.

Finally, one hot day in hell Pip went out to find Damien and ask whats wrong.

He left the Condominium and looked around the marina of the wretched lake of fire. No Damien.

He walked threw the park of chard, naked trees and yellow grass. He searched every bench, all he could find were demons and burned skeletons sitting down on the uncomfortable wooden seats. No Damien.

He asked many Demons and Damned souls and even Satan and they all shook their heads and say they haven't seen him.

After a quick lunch Pip set out again to find his friend. Then he remembered where Damien liked to go when he was upset.

There was a very high hill that towered over evey other clif in hell. It could be easily mistaken for a small steep chif over looked the entire lake of fire, making it easy to map out the pit of torment and sorrow. It was only out sized by the volcanoes that surround it that went off almost every hour.

That is were Daimen said he like to visit when he was upset and wanted to be alone.

After Getting one demon to take him up there, Pip was happy to see that he had finally found Damien. He was sitting at the peak of the chif with his legs hanging over the edge, watching lava flow by slowly.

Pip smiled as he walked over. He has brought Damien a ripe melon to eat.

'He must be hungry from sitting up here all morning with nothing to eat.' Pip thought as he sat next to his friend.

Damien didn't look up, he just sat there, looking out at nothing in particular.

"Hello Damien," Pip chirped holding out the melon to Damien. "Why so MELANcholy?" He put extra enfasis on the melan in melancholy while giving Damien the fruit.

Without looking up, Damien took the fruit and threw it into the lake of fire and lava where it was reduced to nothingness in a matter of seconds.

Pip grimaced."Oh, well...alright geuss your not hungry."

Damien grunted in response.

"So whats the matter?"

The dark haired boy didn't speak. This worryed the blonde.

"Come now Damien, you can talk to me."

Finally Damien sighed, look up at the other with weary eyes.

"You know we can't be friends forever, right?" He asked, closing his eyes as if to stop tears from falling.

This took the blonde aback. " Why Damien, what ever do you mean?"

Griting his fanged teeth, Damien turned to the blonde beside him glaring and making the other shake with fear.

"God dammit Pip your just to damn innocent! You'll never go to hell when you die!"

Pip stoped shaking and smiled lightly. "But Damien you said only Mormons can go to heaven!"

Damien sighed and looked back to the lava with soulful eyes.

"No,"

"What but you said-"

"I know what I said!" He cut pip off."My dad told me that god knows that his army is too waek in number, so now he has made new rules and is letting more people in."

Pip stared at the other for a long time. Damien let him take in the new information befor continuing.

"You know the worse part of it is that you'll be fighting against me in a war you don't even want to be part of." The word came out grimly as they pained him to say that.

This made the blondes heart sink and brought tears to his bright blue eyes as he tried his best to stop himself from baling into tears.

Then, an idea hit him." I-i could be come a sinner! I'll become evil, just like you!" Pip smiled a little hopful smile and rubbed his eyes.

The dark haired boy shoke his head. "I can't ask you to do that for me."

"You don't need to ask me! I want to be with you forever!"

Damien cracked a little smile."Your just to innocent."

This angered the blonde. He stood up and stormed off yelling "You'll see! I'll be just as evil as you could be!"

And, as if on queue, the volcanoes surrounded the chif fire off another batch of smoke and every minion and damned soul tremble in fear.

Weeks went by and little Pip tried his best to be evil. But it just wasn't in his nature to be mean to anybody so, he tried doing small evil things first and work his way up.

His first attempt was at hell's grocery store that was cleverly called Hell's Grosscery. When he passed a free sample stand that had a sign that read ' Only Take One' He took two and snuck away befor anyone saw him.

His second attempt was when he remembered that in sunday school the teacher said that wathing naughty things on the TV or on the internet was a sin. So that day him and Damien sat and watched rather irotic videos that they found in his dads closet and watched it on the TV Damien had in his room.

At his thired atempt he retuned a library book a day after it was due.

Pip felt like giving up, He didn't feel evil or bad at all, he was still the same as always. But he refused to give up and kept trying.

One day Pip asked Damien to take him up to South Park because he forgot something back in his old house.

When they got there they learned a lot of what was going on in the small town. Like how South Park is being hit with a class action lawsuit by every celebritie the town has ever picked on, the leader of the celebrities is non other then Tom Cruise himself who was recently called a fudge packer by Stan Marsh.

The two boys were now at Pip old house looking for whatever Pip had forgotten.

"You know, you'd lose your own ass if it wasn't attached to you." Damien teased while Pip looked for the thing.

"Oh ha ha." Pip laughed sarcastically.

Just then, a wave of vibration, like a mini earthquake shook the house. Scaring both of the boys.

"What was tha-" Damien was cut of by another earthquake.

"Oh dear, what the bloddly hell is going on?" Pip shriked when he saw out the window.

A gigantic mechanical monster was storming the streets of South park. Destroying everything in it's path.

The two run out of the house and gaze in awe at the mechanical, fire breathing monster.

"Oh dear god." Pip spoke in awe.

"...Wow." Damien said, a little less then surprised.

The mechanical beast let out a terrorizing roar and continued on to its path of destruction.

People everywhere were running in horror from the monster.

"I know that monster! She attacked South Park befor! It's M-mecha-Streisand!" Pip yelled, pointing twards the mechanical Streisand.

"Mecha-Streisand?" Damien turned to the blonde with an eyebrow raised.

Pip looked back at him with wide eyes. "Yes, a mechanical Barbra Streisand!"

"Oh yeah my dad's friends with her."

Pip stared at Damien oddly until he hurd another roar from the monster. She has already made it to South Parks main street were town hall is.

Then a crazy thought went through Pip's head.

Suicide was a sin, so if he killed himself he would go to hell.

Befor he could thing it over, he ran. He ignored Damien calling out his name. He just ran twords the monster with out turning back.

"Cheery-oh!" He yelled loud enough to get the beast attention. Mecha-Streisand Turned her huge metal head and saw the little boy on the ground.

When she fully turned around Pip continued. Although he was terrified, he was determined to be with his friend.

"Uh...My name is Pip. I would like to see if you wouldn't mind not smashing our little town to bits?"

And after that was said, Pip's fate was sealed under Mecha-Streisand's foot.

Sadly, Damien was there to see the hole thing. And he was heart broken.

For hours that night he sobbed.

He has never felt this type of pain befor. It's like someone was holding his heart in their hand and was squeezing like it was a strees ball.

He can't really remember that last time he cried like this. Maybe when he was small and didn't get something that he wanted, but nothing could compare to the pain he was feeling now.

When he finally stoped crying, he mastered up enough energy to take him back home to hell.

~/~/~/~/~

Damien didn't know why he was there, He knew Pip wouldn't be there.

He was at the waiting area were all the new comers arrive. Many souls were there, wondering where they are, and why.

Damien sat on the stage next to the podium. Then the Hell Director came up on stage and up to the podium.

" Hello, newcomers, and welcome. Can everybody hear me?"He says and taps the mic a few times." Hello? Can everybuh-? Okay." He continued once the crowd quiets down "Uh, I'm the hell director. Uh, it looks like we have about 8,615 of you newbies today, and for those of you who are a little confused, uh, you are dead, and this is hell, so, abandon all hope and uh yada yada yada. Uh, we are now going to start the orientation process, which will last about-"

The Hell Director was interrupted by someone yelling about how they weren't supost to be here. And the director responds by saying they were wrong.

Then came the most over asked questuion of all. "Well then who was right, who gets into heaven?" Asked a random person in th crowd.

The Director informes them that the Mormons were right and only they got into heaven.

A wave of disappointment washed over the crowd.

"Oh, but we do have a special surprise today." The director says cheefully.

The crowd perked up a bit, hoping that they will be spared.

"We have Damien, the antichrist to join us today to welcome you to hell."

Anouther wave of disappointment washed over the crowd.

Damien grunted, not in the mood for the director's cheerful banter today.

"Damien!" A familiar voice called in the crowd.

Damien's head shot up, red eye's wide.

He smiles unbelievably when he sees a small blonde boy making his way through the crowd. " 'Scuse me. Pardon me ms. Excuse me."

"Pip!" The dark haired boy exclaimes.

Pip looks up and smiles warmly at the other boy.

The two were now facing each other, one smiling and the other staring in awe.

"How did you- why are you..." He stammered.

"Uh, your name is Philip Pirrip? You commited suicide, right?" Asked the hell director as he fliped through his clip bored.

Damien looked at the director then back at Pip. "You did what!"

Pip backed away."Uh, well it was so that me and you could-"

Damien jumped off the stage and stormed up to Pip. The blond flinched but he lossed up when he felt the dark boys arms around him.

When he hugged back the crowd around them joined together in one big 'awww'.

~/~/~/~/~

Year's latter the to have grown to be a little more then friends. Soon the two became lovers and decided to get married.

Late into their marriage they had two kids. One boy named after Damien and one girl named Lucy.

Damien became ruler over hell when his father retired from his thrown.

And thats the story of how two boys completely opposite from each other, one being an overly innocent brit and the other being not only evil but the antichrist at that, ended up togrther happily in hell.