Title: Numbers (1/3)
Author: AcousticMisery (melissagleek on LiveJournal)
Rating: R for this chapter, NC-17 for the whole story
Pairing: Rachel/Quinn, mentions of Brittany/Santana, Kurt/OC

Spoilers: None, unless you're currently sitting here asking yourself, "What is Glee?"
Word Count: 1,152 /10,429
Disclaimer: Glee is the property of FOX and Ryan Murphy. The only payment I'll receive for this story will be in the form of comments, and I can't buy anything with words.
Summary: Response to the following LiveJournal rq_meme prompt:
The glee clubbers are at some music venue. Puck is bragging about his skill at picking up the ladies. Somehow it turns into a sing-off between Puck and Rachel. The winner being whoever collects the most phone numbers at the end of their song. All the glee clubbers place bets on who will win. Kinda see Puck going first and trying to win by singing a totally sexed-up song whereas Rachel goes for the more romantic, swoon-inducing approach. Rachel totally cleans up with her song. Bonus Points for Jealous!Quinn (in a cute not crazy way) and if Puck, to his embarrassment, and the rest of the glee club's hilarity gets a phone number from a guy.
Author Note: This story was supposed to be a nice little one-shot of approximately 2,000 words, at most. Somehow, it evolved into a 10,000 word multi-chapter monster. This is my first piece of fanfiction, so comments and constructive criticism are definitely welcome.

Author Note #2: Rachel/Finn, Rachel/Puck, Quinn/Finn, Quinn/Puck, and Santana/Puck never happened. Rachel and Quinn were both out of the closet before they got together.

It was Saturday night, and the members of New Directions were all gathered around the stage at Lima Live, an all ages music club that featured up and coming local bands. After listening to several songs about love, nature, and dreams, the male glee clubbers were becoming restless.

"Dude, this club is lame," Puck complained to Finn.

"I know, but Rachel wouldn't let you get fake IDs, and Kurt would never pass for 21 anyway, even if he tried," Finn replied.

"There has to be another club in this damn town. The only music this band plays is sappy folk music that kind of makes me uncomfortable. We have to fix this."

"I'm with Puck," Artie said, moving away from Tina and joining Puck and Finn, who were quickly moving away from the stage and toward the exit.

Sensing movement to her left, Rachel lifted her heard, which had been resting on Quinn's shoulder, and glared at Finn, who had picked the worst possible time to look in Rachel's direction.

"Baby, I'll be right back," Rachel whispered in Quinn's ear, before placing a lingering kiss on her lips.

"Is everything ok? You're going to miss the band's last song. I really like them."

"I also like them, but it looks like some of our fellow glee clubbers, namely the male members, minus Kurt of course, have a different opinion," Rachel explained, pointing to the three guys who now seemed to be mysteriously frozen in one place, their eyes on Rachel.

"Ok, but hurry back. And Rach?"

"Yeah?"

"Be nice."

"No worries. I'm just going to talk to the boys and make them understand that, since they all agreed to come here tonight, the least they can do is refrain from rudely walking away from not only the wonderful band on stage, but also from their friends." And with that, Rachel walked toward her target with determination etched on her face.

"Gentlemen."

"Rachel."

"Where were you going so quickly? Performers such as yourselves certainly understand the importance of audience support, so I'm sure you can imagine my disappointment at seeing you retreat from the stage before the band had finished playing."

"We…we were just going to get something to drink," Finn stuttered.

"You're holding a half-filled cup of soda in your hand, Finn," Rachel replied. "And I know that Puck probably managed to smuggle in a flask of some alcohol beverage and has probably been sneakily drinking from it all night. And Artie is fully capable of getting himself something to drink. Try again."

"Fine. You're right. We were bored, so we though we'd walk across the street to the old folks' home, where they're probably having a lot more fun than we are right now," Puck admitted, a smirk evident on his face.

"And what, may I ask, do you find so boring about our little excursion?" questioned Rachel.

"Well, the music…" Finn began.

"Is boring," replied Artie.

"It blows. Big time," added Puck.

"I happen to think it's quite lovely and romantic," argued Rachel.

"Maybe, but I guarantee you that when the band steps off that stage, they won't be getting any phone numbers from adoring fans. It's 'sex, drugs, and rock and roll,' not 'romance, cookies, and rainbow songs," Puck shot back. "I bet I could get more numbers by just walking across the room."

"And I bet I could get more by actually caring about the feelings of the people who spent money to come to this club."

"Umm…how would you do that?" Finn asked. "I mean, I know Quinn somehow fell for your crazy—and I mean that in a really nice way—but do you honestly think that you could make a whole room of strangers feel the same way?"

"I'll do it by doing what I do best. I'll sing, of course."

"Then, it's settled," Artie exclaimed.

"What's settled?" Rachel and Puck asked, turning to Artie.

"A sing off. For phone numbers. The person with most numbers at the end of the evening wins."

"Ok, don't you think that's a little extreme? I mean, Rachel is with Quinn, and Puck…well, he probably already has the number of half the girls in this club and never called them back," Finn argued.

"I'm in," stated Rachel, ignoring Finn.

"And I've pretty much already won this contest, so I'm in," added Puck. "But I'm going first."

"Fine. That just means that my performance will be fresher in the audience's mind.

"Rachel."

"Quinn."

Rachel had just finished telling Quinn about the sing off, and needless to say, Quinn wasn't thrilled with the idea of men and women throwing themselves at her girlfriend. "Do you honestly think this is a good idea?" Quinn asked.

"Absolutely. Why do you ask?"

"Because you don't need to prove anything."

"Yes, I do. I need to prove that romance isn't dead."

"Rach, you prove that to me all the time. You put flowers in my locker, and you remember every important holiday and anniversary."

"This really bothers you, doesn't it? There's no reason to be jealous."

"I'm not jealous!" Quinn replied, raising her voice.

"Baby, you don't have to worry. I'll probably get a bunch of numbers from awkward teenage boys. And we both know that I really have no interest in boys. I think I made that glaringly obvious last night when I…"

"Rachel! People can hear you!" Quinn exclaimed, an odd mix of mortification and amusement on her face. "I don't want everyone to know" Quinn continued, moving closer to Rachel and dropping her voice to a whisper, "that you gave me the most mind blowing orgasm of my life last night."

"Of your life? Really?" Rachel asked, clearly proud of herself.

"Absolutely," Quinn whispered again, her warm breath drifting over Rachel's ears, causing the shorter girl to blush.

"I understand what you're saying. I do. But you know how I love competition."

"Right. Then join the debate team or something," Quinn pleaded.

Ignoring Quinn's comment, Rachel continued, "And you know that competition usually leads to me winning. And that winning makes me really, really…"

"Really, really what?" Quinn asked, knowing the answer but wanting—no, needing—Rachel to say it.

"Really, really, unbelievably, fucking…horny," Rachel finished, as she grabbed the front of Quinn's shirt and pulled her in for a passionate kiss.

For not the first time since she had begun dating Rachel just over two years ago, Quinn was left completely speechless. Finally, as she watched Puck, Finn, Artie, and the rest of New Directions approach, she uttered a quiet but fierce, "Kick his ass, Rach."

"I knew you'd come around," Rachel said as she grinned and placed one last kiss on Quinn's lips.

"Ok. The rules are simple. Sing. Dance. Collect numbers. The person with the most numbers at midnight wins," Artie explained.

"Good luck, Berry," Puck muttered reluctantly.

"Same to you, Noah. I'm quite sure you will need it."