Long Authors Note: I didn't start updating again until I outlined a good chunk of the rest of this story, and I hope you're in for the ride! I've got the next 4 chapters mapped out, so I'm hoping this whole 'updating once a year' thing stops for a bit. I'm going to be pushing this story along. I've come to realize that when things happen, things happen fast. So fast, that they can seem out of control. The timeline of this story is a little packed, but I hope you will bide the in-between transitions out in your mind the way you believe it should be! Depending on my schedule, I may slow things down a bit so it's less overwhelming. That's the con to writing on an online site and updating like this, though. You can't write the complete story out as a rough draft, and then go back and slowly work out the kinks and change everything. I could, but I also don't want to do that to you guys! We can talk about a re-vamp after this gets completed the first time!

Forgive any errors in this chapter, I was so excited to get it out that I didn't give it the best proofread! With that, I'm glad to be back!

On the previous chapter: With the help of cat burglar Wedy, Rayne successfully infiltrated the company, Yotsuba while dressed undercover as a girl. Wendy tapped into the main cameras while Rayne had to manually clip high-tech microphones to the cameras for the Investigation team to accurately hear Yotsuba's meeting content and gather evidence. Having bonded with Wedy, they have a conversation as they drive away, triggering Rayne to reminisce on her memories with a little boy named Mile, and his caretaker Patricia.

-x-

Because It Defies Logic

Chapter Eleven: Familiar

-X-

I had spent nearly an hour arguing with him. Even if he wasn't done, I certainly was.

"I told you yesterday already, and you didn't even reply," I crossed my arms and leaned my behind against his desk, like I always did when I was having a conversation with him that would talk longer than 5 seconds. "So I assumed it was a 'yes'."

The famous investigator gingerly plucked the porcelain teacup from its saucer. "Usually, people would assume that not replying is a 'no'."

I scoffed. "And when did you become the expert on social situation, Mr. I-don't-wear-shoes-on-campus?"

"That is a personal matter, and just because I do not adhere to cultural normalities does not mean I am unaware of them."

"You should have given me earlier notice." Tapping my foot impatiently beside him, I wish he'd take his eyes off the screen for a few moments to visually acknowledge my presence, but I've long since figured out his infuriating way of ignoring me, yet giving me too much attention. It was a constant game of tug of war, push and pull. He wouldn't let me win, but he refused to tug hard enough for me to fall flat on my face. He just kept me, straining, pulling, never having victory. Years of analyzing societal culture and etiquette went down the drain with him. He didn't care for formalities or manners deemed unnecessary, and eye contact during conversation would certainly be at the bottom of his priorities.

I knew him well enough that he didn't actually need me to come in for work. He just enjoyed seeing me writhe and squirm under his control, like the freak he was.

"I didn't even—" Matsuda glanced over at my raise in volume and I checked my composure. It always had an infuriating way of surfacing without warning around this man. "I didn't even know who you were before a few days ago, and you want earlier notice? Wedy and Aiber aren't coming in today, either."

"That's too bad, then." His cup clinked back into its home. "I didn't hire you for just… stealth purposes."

"Do you want me to become an investigator?" I provoked.

"Would you be so against it?" His onyx eyes seemed to sparkle as they blinked to look at me. I couldn't wipe the lack of amusement on my face as he yanked and twisted my patience. What I would do to beat this man at his own game… "What are you doing tomorrow that is so important?"

"That's none of your business."

"Do you have a date?" My eyes rolled before my lips could even part. "I'd say there's a 82% chance, with that reaction."

"Go into decimal places, why don't you," I groaned begrudgingly. Pretentious ass. "Just for today. I'll come back tomorrow with no complains, ready to work. Maybe even the evening, if you really need me."

Light was off gathering documents with his father about Yotsuba, and the rest of the team had other duties that I wasn't concerned with. L kept me right by his side, analyzing the body language and speech of the Yotsuba members over and over to narrow down our suspect list. We had gotten a good chunk done, but even without me, L would have been fine. Everything that I noticed, he had possessed an inkling on, and anything he noticed, I was just about to point out. His previous words were true. Even though he didn't act socially acceptable didn't mean he was ignorant about our human ways.

What a peculiar human being.

"I'll look over them by myself and come back the next day with something." I knew I was asking for something selfish. A day could make the difference of one person's death, but from Yotsuba's meeting, it didn't seem like they were going to strike for a while. "I'll spend all of tomorrow here, I promise."

He didn't seem to really pay attention until the last part. I narrowed my eyes, wondering why might have caught his attention. "On one condition."

I wasted no time. "What?"

But he had other plans, as he typed a few last things into his report and took his sweet time collecting his thoughts— or just plain dragging the time out, to piss me off. He raised a pale finger and made the gesture to lean in closer. I exhaled, bending down for him to whisper into my ear. I knew how he just loved to get a reaction out of me, so I didn't give him the time of day. From how close I was, his voice was in high definition.

"It's hot, so…" His breath was unexpectedly hot against my ear. "I want you…"

I could make out each flick of the tongue, each time it touched against the hard palette of his mouth, each breath. Who knew he could be sexual. "… to turn on…"

He teasingly finished his sentence."… the AC."

Matsuda flinched when I smacked L right upside the head. "Work on your seduction game a little more before you whisper in my ear next time, Ryuuzaki."

Smiling from ear to ear after he waved me off, I bolted from the premise and headed off to the bus station.

-X-

"Took you long enough!" Sato pouted like a cute little kid when he caught me approaching from less than a few feet. I cracked a smile, speeding up a bit in my sneakers at his complaint. His blonde hair was styled with wax, and he was dress a little better than usual. Huh.

"Sorry I'm late," I apologized, hiking my backpack higher on my shoulder. I used it as a bag even when I wasn't at school, because it was easier on the shoulders than one-straps. "I had to deal with some last minute things at work."

He got up from his seat in front of the killer whale fountain, and handed me my ticket. "You just took your sweet time, didn'tcha, G-O-D…. Get it? See what I did there?"

"Very mature of you." I supplied sarcastically. G-O-D was obviously referring back to his nickname from when I gave him the box of cakes as a present, where he thus named me 'God of Desserts'. "Besides, I didn't want to slip on ice. There was frost everywhere this morning"

Sato snorted, raising a brow in challenge. "The only ice around here is the ice on your heart."

"If that's how you feel about me, you can go in by yourself—" I spun around in fake indignation, only to have a strong arm pulled my elbow back as predicted. A devilish smirk captured my attention, certain to have melted any ice if there had been any…

"Come here, you sensitive little prick," I laughed out loud when he slung an arm over my head, and pulled me briefly into a side embrace. With his arms around me, it was warm and safe. "Today, you're all mine."

And so begun my first outing with a friend.

-X-

In my twenty years of existence, I had never seen a beluga.

"Wow," I breathed, when the white marine animal leaped up vertically to meet the outstretch rod from the trainer. I chuckled when they wiggled the fat on their foreheads, and gasped when they jumped high up into the air.

Sato was snickering throughout the show, chest bouncing up and down with each breath. When it was finally over, I was clapping like a happy seal. "You are being such a dork."

"I am not, and I will not be called a dork by the King of Dorks himself. Guess you can me 'KOD'." I grinned, already heading towards the crowd surrounding the otter tank, "What's that?"

Sato offered helpfully, "They're otters."

"I know they're otters, Watanabe! I'm being rhetorical!" I answered defensively, almost insulted that he actually thought I didn't know what they were. He guffawed, muttering something out of my hearing, while I marvelled at the furry brown creatures, grooming themselves lovingly. They dove enthusiastically into the blue underwater, hunting for plastic balls and rubbing themselves with their dainty paws, like they were scratching their belly. The attention from the spectators didn't seem to phase them in the slightest despite the close proximity. The soul wrenching 'awww' that threatened to spark from me after years of holding back my adoration for cute things nearly ran me over, but I kept it obedient. "I've only ever read about them and seen videos."

"You've really never gone to an Aquarium, huh? What about a zoo?"

"I came from a small town," Having calmed down from the initial shock of the marine animals, I spoke in a more relaxed tone. As I leaned over the railing, Sato pulled up beside me at an angle, his shoulder warming the back of mine as we stared out at the unmoving penguins. I didn't glance at him, because the proximity of our faces would be inappropriate, so I just spoke forward. "I didn't see many animals besides dogs and the occasional wandering cat or squirrel. I think I've seen a turtle, once."

Sato was considerate as he sighed, nodding regrettably for me. "What a boring life you lived."

I smiled wistfully. "You have no idea."

Our silence held for a moment longer, but thanks to Sato's unrelenting energy to fuel mine, we moved on fast. "Let's go see the tropics!"

The penguins were motionless, anyway. The presenter quipped about watching them stand still for 365 days a year. "Sure!"

Two and a half hours passed for us to go through all the exhibitions, the shows, and labs at the Shinagawa Aquarium. For my experience, it was one to remember with Sato cracking jokes and maintaining his pulsating energy throughout the day. As much as I hated to admit it, he was contagious, and I always found myself smiling and leaving my guard vulnerable when I was with him. I hadn't even known him for very long, but his perseverance in getting to know me, and his charming character had won me over quicker than most.

He made it possible for me drop my façade. Sato was simple, but I appreciated him for his simplistic approach to life. I didn't always have to guess at his real intentions, and I knew he would never over-analyze what I said or did. It hadn't taken me long in the school year to realize that Sato was content with just my company, and the reality of such a thought had me lowering my walls faster than I ever had before.

"I'm pooped. Wanna grab food?" He nodded his blonde head towards the Cafe. We lined up, chatting about school and the professors, speculating on what courses we would take for the upcoming semester. He told me funny stories about his friends, stupid things he used to do as a kid, and how his relationship with his parents used to be bad when he was a teenager, and how it had slowly gotten better as he grew older. I noticed that he was careful talking about his parents, so I assumed that it was a more sensitive topic than most, which the topic of family usually is.

While we were waiting for our order, I spotted an empty chair, and he gave me a go-ahead to grab it while he waited for our food to come out. I sat in one of the two vacant stools facing each other over a tall round table, decorated with a few foreign crumbs and coffee cup stains.

"I don't think I've ever seen you like this before," he started again smoothly, sliding into the high stool with two trays in hand.

"Very impressive balancing skills, Watanabe," I praised, propping open the lid of my hot chocolate once he set it down in front of me. "And what do you mean?"

"Like, so relaxed," he went on, doing likewise with his paper cup, blowing on it several times to start the cool down process. I could smell that it was coffee, and from the deep shade of brown, he liked it strong. "Sometimes on campus, you seem a little… how do I put this…"

"Tense?" I tried, unwrapping my sandwich.

"Anal." I snickered. The snarky slang caught me off guard, not that I had it on.

"I can relax if I'm just with you," I took a bite into the pulled pork goodness, talking with a half-full mouth. "You're a good friend."

My words triggered a likewise reaction in him, imaginary strings tugging his lips into a bold smile. "Am I?"

Grinning thoughtfully myself, I let him have the satisfaction. "Yes, Watanabe. You are a good friend to me."

"Then you should call me Sato more often, like you mean it!" It was true, I called him Sato on occasion, but for some reason, I liked the way his last name rolled off my tongue. There was something familiar about it. "You make it sound like you don't have many friends."

I swallowed a bite of my lunch. "I suppose."

"I suppose," he mimicked, poking fun. "Hey, don't clam right back up after I've cracked you open." Sato's silly grin coaxed me out again, and I smiled dimly. "We just hang out at school a lot, but we've never really talked about anything, yknow?"

I knew that there was a lot that Sato was probably dying to ask me, dying to know. I wasn't sure how much I could tell him, or how much I even wanted to tell him. How much was too much? Would he take it as mistrust if I chose not to, and would we cease being friends, thinking I didn't trust him?

"There you go again," Sato rested his head against his palm, gazing at me with half-lidded eyes. His signature cheeky smile waved me a hello. "Gears just turning in your head. You should stop thinking too much. Life is way too short to overthink things the way you do."

"Life is too long for you to act on impulse all the time," I countered artfully.

"You think I act on impulse? The things I'd do if I didn't think things through, man…" He chuckled, running a strong hand through blonde tousles, albeit careful not to mess up his styling. Sucking in through his teeth, he then cleared his throat, twice. "Soooo….Is there.. uh, anything you've always wanted to know about me?"

I considered it sombrely. Is this is a test of friendship? If I say yes, does that grant permission for him to ask anything he wanted from me? If I say no, does that mean I don't want to get to know him better—

"I-it's just a question!" He intercepted my thoughts, a shy smile on his handsome features. When the stutter came out, I knew he was genuinely embarrassed. "An innocent question, really!"

"Is it alright if I just ask?" I ignored years of gut instinct telling me to be skeptical of his intentions, the unfamiliar concept of trust taking front and centre stage for a change — well, maybe not front and center. Perhaps it was still a side character, but at least it was on stage. The stakes weren't high enough to scare me off or make me second-guess. Sato's intentions seemed innocent enough, anyway. I took the bait. "When's your birthday?"

"June 23rd!"

I mirrored, "October 16th."

He nodded pensively, and I wondered if he might be taking a mental note of it. With another broad grin, I knew we was definitely enjoying this. "Do you squeeze toothpaste from the centre or the bottom?"

I would have snorted if I didn't have food in my mouth. "Center."

"AW MAN," he cried out, laughing, "That's so stupid, why would you squeeze from the center?!"

"Who has time to push everything up from the bottom overtime they brush their teeth?" I defended properly, not rising to his passionate difference in opinion. "You only push from the bottom when you're done half the tube!"

"But then you have to squeeze everything all over, so why not just do it properly from the start so you have less work later?"

I rolled my eyes, scoffing out loud now that I had ingested my food. "I am not arguing with you over toothpaste squeezing preferences."

"Fine," he dismissed, a pout on his lips as he bit into the final bits of his own sandwich. "What's your favorite subject?"

I scrolled through my course load, finally settling on, "Right now, it's… Global Politics. Yours?"

"In high school, it was physics," Sato revealed, not that I was surprised. Cliché engineer. "But after that exam, I'm gonna have to change my mind. I'm taking an aeronautics course that I'm really enjoying, I told you about that, right?"

"Yeah, the one with the Prof that keeps cracking puns? Totally your kind of guy."

Sato laughed. "Hey, who do you think you are, making those kinds of claims about my type of guy? You're my kind of guy too, but you don't crack a single pun."

My overanalyzing brain caught the double meaning in his words, and I guess it showed on my face, because his expression showed him backtracking as well. "Oh, wait, n-not like— I didn't mean it like-"

I shrugged it off, because I actually didn't really mind. "Dude, relax. I know."

"Yeah, I just—" He shifted in his seat. "That was kinda awkward."

"Only if you make it awkward," I countered, chewing into my food. Sato ate fast, but I paced myself, always chomping the solids until it'd comfortably slide down without trouble.

"Ray, you have pretty high walls, don't you?" I hadn't expected the topic change, but the response came naturally.

"I guess they're higher than the average person." I paused to wonder where he could be leading. "Are you concerned?"

He fiddled with his fingers like he usually did when he was nervous. "I don't know, just… I know you, but I also hardly know you, y'know? But sometimes, I wonder if I'm the one holding you back. Am I doing something wrong as a friend? Do I overstep too much?"

"No, it's not you," I said, wanting to equate our grounds, "I'm just not… used to getting that close…"

"I guess that makes sense…" But his voice was tinged with hurt, "I'd never ask you anything you don't want to answer, and I won't expect you to tell me anything you're not ready to tell me. So you don't need to worry about that…"

When had Sato been so sharp?

I was glad that my first impression of Sato was so accurate, ringing true even now. He was a very genuine person, with good, moral values and a good sense of humour to top it all off. It was nice to have a friend who actually respected me enough to also respect my privacy, and know that secrets are secrets for a reason. Sato was definitely a friend I would hold onto with all my might.

"But I'm not scared of you," Sato grinned broadly, "so you can always ask me anything you want to know."

I narrowed my eyes at the accusation. "Are you implying that I'm scared of you?"

He was the picture of unperturbed. "Aren't you?"

My lips parted. I leaned back.

"Who hurt you so much in the past…" His voice was a gentle caress, "that made you built your walls so high?"

"You're overthinking things," I wiped my lips primly with a napkin, the sound of tiny footsteps behind me not triggering any alert. I thought about being subtle somehow and changing the subject, but there was no way to be subtle about it. "Have you ever been anywhere outside of Tokyo?"

Exhaling heavily, most likely because he knew what game I was playing, Sato leaned back in his seat and crossed his arms. But he still played along.

"Yeup," he shared proudly, "I used to go on vacation a lot as a kid."

"Really now?" I was genuinely surprised. Sato seemed as ignorant as a ten year old about Americans from the way he kept accusing me of stupid stereotypes, so I was under the impression that he wasn't so well travelled. "Where to?"

"I've done all of Asia. Oh, and Europe several times. My parents really liked Europe…" He pondered, giving me time to realize that he must have grown up in a very rich household. "I only went to a few places in the US, like Hawaii and uhh… I think we went to California once but I was probably too small to remember that. I'd really like to go again."

Definitely wasn't expecting that long of a list. "Then you should ask your parents to bring you again. I'm sure they'd love to."

"I kind of… well…" He scratched his blonde hair, expression losing its brightness. "It's not that I don't want to tell you, but I didn't want things to be awkward, but— HOLY!"

Splash! With a tilted hand, the lid of the boy's drink unlatched from the cup, spilling the overflowing slurpie onto Sato's black shirt. I rose from my seat, already going after the utensils island with the napkins.

The rest of the cup hit the ground shortly after, the child's lower lip quivering as his mother exclaimed and scurried over. I came back to find Sato reassuring the apologetic mother, who was bowing sincerely for her child.

"It happens, don't worry. At least I wasn't wearing white," he jested good-naturedly.

"Here," I handed him the brown paper napkins to mop of the excess gunk. "The washroom's not far, let's go."

The mother looked near tears. "I am so sorry, let us pay for—"

"Don't worry about it, ma'am," Sato reassured one last time before waving goodbye and following after me to the men's restroom. Inside, only a few stalls were being used as we went to the sink. Sato stripped off his shirt, and I kept my eyes on the grey tiled floor. He was much more toned and muscular than average, and I knew that he went to the gym at least three times a week from our previous conversations. He had made a big deal about my gift of high-calorie goodies, so it was obvious he cared about his physique, and I'd be lying if I said it didn't show. The men coming out from the stalls glanced over, awkwardly sneaking glances at him as they washed their hands, half because it was weird to randomly see another shirtless guy in the washroom, and half because…

"Go wipe your pants off first," I bumped him over, extending my hands to wash his shirt, and he obediently began to wipe down the side of his jeans, muttering an embarrassed thanks. "Well, that was super unlucky."

"The kid was crying. I think it was way worse for him than it was for me." I smirked to myself. Of course Sato would be thinking of the kid before thinking about himself.

"At least it wasn't a nasty mother yelling at you for getting in the way of her kid. I saw enough of that in customer service to know it's an all too true reality."

"Ha, I'll bet." The warm running water washed the bright blue, red and purple hues down the drain. I gave it a few more rubs before wringing it out to dry. "I think that's good, thanks—"

"Just keep wiping, Watanabe." I instructed, running the damp half under the hand dryers. He peaked over his left shoulder to send me a half-grin-half-smirk, and I tried not to let my mind wonder if he was trying to flex his muscles or if he was just naturally that defined. Being the perceptive dork he was, he started teasingly flexing the bicep that faced me, and my smirk broke out into a teethy grin. "Real mature."

"Thanks, Ray." I nodded reassuringly, not minding the minor dilemma. Sato rotated so that I could view the full frontal of his abs, but instead of admiring his core, my eyes rested on something that looked a little too…

… Huh?

"…When did you say you got that scar?" The urgency in my voice was masked by a calm demeanour, the alarms in my mind blaring emergency signals up to the main control center. There was a patch of discoloured skin on his torso, close to the side of his heart. From my distance, it just looked a little dark at first, but my eyes focused in and examined the mark. Why was it so close to his heart? Why was it so…

"Oh— huh?" He searched his own body until he found what I was referring to. "Oh.. When I was 10?" he answered, voice starting to trail off. The caution in his voice was eminent. "Why do you look like that?"

I recounted our past conversation, my brain whirring as the gears warmed up. He grew up in a rich household. He got the scar when he was 10.

"…Oh," I tried to laugh it off. I retracted my hands from the dryer to decrease the amount of noise in my mind. "I see…"

Memories flooded into like a tsunami, drowning out all other thoughts.

"You missed." He bashes my head with the metal chair, spit streaming in my face as he swears and barks at me. I can't feel my eyes anymore. I wonder if I've gone blind. I don't even know if I have anything in my sockets. "How could you miss? You're the fucking sharp shooter. How could you miss?!"

The little boy in his pajamas. "Who are you?"

Gun fire across the banister. His eyes widen to saucers.

"…. out of… first… ay? Give … shirt … wet."

His words were starting to drown out, and I was having trouble controlling the expression on my face. With what was left of my attention, I could see Sato guiding me out. He picked up the pace once we made it outside, heading for the exit.

My breathing was laboured, and I couldn't remember when it started picking up to the point where I was heaving. Sato's arm is wrapped tightly around my shoulder, and his brown eyes searched desperately for me. My ears were still drowning him out slightly. "You… pale, Ray."

"I feel like I'm going to throw up," I managed weakly, though truthfully.

"Was it the food?" Sato's grip around my shoulder tightened. "Do you need me to carry you? I can take you to a hospital—"

"NO!" I cried, shocking him. Going to the hospital would not only reveal my gender and open up a box of lies I didn't want to get into, but it'd also awkward because I wasn't actually in physical pain.

Though I'd imagine having your heart wrenched in several directions might feel similar to my turmoil.

"No, not to the hospital, I'm not ill, I just…"

"Ray, you can tell me what's wrong," he attempted desolately.

"I'm fine, really. I just have the worst head ache…I can't stop it." I could walk without him holding me so tightly, so I leaned away and he got the message to give me some space. I couldn't be absolutely sure.

Any other time, I might have left it; done my own research before coming back to the topic instead of addressing it right there, but this was a matter entirely different. Ignorance would not be bliss, because the box was already opened. I had to know. Was it all a coincidence, or…? "Could you tell me more about the scar on your chest? You were saying something earlier, and maybe it'll distract me."

"Um…" Completely falling for my excuse, Sato's eyes drifted upward as he recollected the bits and pieces of information. "I would, but it might only make your head hurt more—"

"You can tell me. I can handle it." Maybe. Possibly. Not if it's what I'm expecting.

"I was attacked as a kid," he began, already a bad sign. "So this is the scar that's leftover."

"Attacked?" Sato took my questions as my way of coping with the pain. Little did he know that with each answer, it only fuelled the pain more and more; the weight in my chest insurmountable.

"I was…" He gulped, eyes filled with concern. "Kay, don't go fainting on me now, because dude, you look really pale…. but I was shot."

I couldn't stop now.

"Was… anyone else… hurt?"

When Sato's jawline rippled from gritting, I already had my answer. "My parents."

Oh my fucking god.

"Ray, you're shaking," Sato pronounced quietly. He hadn't even finished it off with confirming their death, but I knew better. "Sorry, I guess that was a lot to take in, it probably didn't help.…"

The check list was all met. If his parents had escaped unscathed, he would be reassuring me that they were fine, but he wasn't, because they weren't and it was all my fault, and he had no idea who I was, but then he never will because if he did he would never forgive me.

To think that I could escape my past was such a joke.

I am such a horrendous soul.

We trudged in silence.

When his car was in sight, I managed, "I'm sorry for bringing it up. I should've just…"

"No worries. There's just no easy way to bring it up, but it's not like I mind you knowing. How come you don't want to go to the hospital?"

"This has happened before, I just need some Advil," I reassured, trying my best to sound convincing. With my barriers up, Sato couldn't smell the bad breath of my lies anymore. I ignored how that made me feel.

"Are your parents home?" At the mere mentioning, I stopped in my tracks, which forced him to follow suit.

"I'm an international student, remember?" Sato's face suddenly darkened abruptly. "And I'll be alright, I'll just catch some sleep on the bus, and—"

"I'm driving you, you complete idiot. God, you look like the face of death. Don't you dare die in my car, or I am never helping you in Economics ever again."

He turned it right back onto me. When I was here slithering like a sergeant to trick him, he was still selfless enough to care about how I was feeling. His attempts at joking only made me feel worse tenfold. "Sato, I'm fine—"

Sato was adamant. "Ray, you're crying."

My own breathing lodged in my throat. What?

I touched my cheek and checked my fingers, the wetness acting as confirmation of my own body's betrayal. My eyes searched for his expression. His eyebrows are drawn together in concern, and the most troubled frown adorned his lips instead of his usual bright smile. Even with my senses numb, my eyes processed that Sato knew.

He knows I'm not crying over some stupid fake head ache.

Without warning, his arms wrapped around me and he pulled me in. I could feel the tears in my eyes absorb into his shirt, the warmth dispersing over my lids like a flower unfurling.

"God, you're crying and you don't even realize it." He laughed quietly to himself, like it was some kind of inside joke. Like he hadn't just told me that he was shot. Like he hadn't just just told me that his parents were killed in the accident, because he didn't know I knew, but of course I knew, I was there..

I should've felt embarrassed. I should've felt stupid. I was stronger than breaking down like that in public, and I should have known better than to confront him about it at such a timing. I should've been feeling anything, except the scariest part was that I didn't… feel… anything.

The words came out in fragments. "I'm so… sorry… about your… parents."

He was quiet for a moment. "It's not your fault."

Oh, but it is.

"I-I really hope you're crying because of the pain, and not about me…. I don't know what… I'd do if I made you cry, Ray," He cleared his throat. "If your headache is that bad, we should get you to a hospital."

I should just end this friendship here. Or maybe next week when it's less suspicious for you to connect the dots. Or at school, I could fake being really busy and let us gradually drift. You'll be sad for a while, but it's better this way. Get out while you still can. Get out while I'll still let you.

My hands went up to clamp over my lips before the tiny sob could escape me.

How could I have done that to him?

To this friend, who thinks so well of me, despite all my flaws. Despite always lying to him, he still stays around me and waits for me. He takes me to aquariums. He eats my cakes. He changes the topic when I'm uncomfortable, and respects my privacy; respects me.

The couple that brought this beautiful soul into this life are dead, and I had a part in it. I might as well have pulled the trigger. I was on their team. I was even about to… about to…

"Ray?"

Taking a deep, shaky breath, I sputtered, "I want to go home." The tears were already slipping past my lips, reminding me of my humiliating disposition.

"I'll take you home," he spoke to me gently, like I was flame in danger of being blown out. His hand found mine, and he guided me to his car.

Before I got kicked out of the Organization, I was on a team to kill one of the wealthiest families in Japan and then eventually steal their riches. Distinctly at the time, I remembered the mission details being for the family to be attacked while they were on vacation, so it would be disconnected from their home country of Japan and we'd have more time to act. While my teammates had succeeded, I had not. The boy looked around my age, barely able to comprehend what was happening. I was going to pull the trigger then. But the look in his eyes when he realized what I was going to do, and the sound of gunfire down the hallway…

My finger had hesitated.

I missed his heart, failed the mission, and knocked him out right before the police came and officially thwarted the success of the mission.

The memory was seeping through the underneath of my locked room like a venomous gas, and I had no where to hide. Perhaps if I had not buried it so deep, and paid it so little attention… perhaps the signs and similarities would have triggered a suspicion in me sooner.

The boy was my age. His parents died that night, but he had been spared.

I recognized that scar near Sato's heart because I was the one who put it there.

End of Chapter Eleven.

-x-

Were you expecting that? ;) BECAUSE IF YOU WERE, THEN YOU'RE CRAZY BECAUSE I LITERALLY HID IT SO WELL OKAY.

What do you think? Is this too much action for your heart? Do I need to slow down or are you READY FOR WHAT'S NEXT?

Rayne's break down is attributed not only to the shock of her role in Sato's life, but also due to the mass amount of memories she had held captive. As soon as one came in, her brain wasn't able to block all the other memories flooding back, triggering the emotional response. Ryan's emotional/mental state is a pretty complicated thing, and it's hard to write, but i'm trying my best. Things will also make more sense and add up in the future. Sorry for any confusion!

There will be a lot of L in the next chapter. I'm working on building Rayne's relationships with each other the characters, and since we've already seen a lot of Light and Sato in the past, we'll give L a little chapter to him, and we'll see how he plays into this side-plot I've built around Rayne. More Death Note Series- stuff will come very soon, I promise!

Reviews are love! I'm excited to post the next chapters! Are you ready? (: