~ Withered sun ~

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Summary: It ends where it began. Shisui, Itachi, and the Nakano River, from their first meeting to the last.

Category: Uh...well...I don't know, really. Friendship, angst, hurt/comfort, romance, fluff...there's a little bit of all, I guess.

Pairing: Slight Itachi/Shisui. Very slight, but there nontheless.

A HUGE THANK YOU TO SkywardShadow FOR BETAING!

Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

It ends where it began. It is kind of ironic, Itachi thinks, as if fate is mocking him, that the one place where he had the best moments of his life would also be the place where he would experience the most horrible moment of his life.

The Nakano had always been a tranquil river, winding its way through the country slowly but constantly. It is a peaceful place, not made for horrid murders. It's a place where the sun always seems to shine on you, a place to enjoy, to cherish.

But for Itachi, it will never be like that again. The sun will never shine for him again, because his personal sun doesn't live anymore.

And the sun doesn't shine for murderers.

The first time Itachi met his cousin – or let's say the first time he remembered seeing his cousin – was at the age of five. The war had ended not long before that, leaving the young Uchiha prodigy and clan heir to fear the sight of blood and weapons in general. Yet here he was, training how to throw Kunais by the riverside, because he was a good son, and because he knew his duties.

Whoosh.

The Kunai shot through the air and hit the target– well, almost...or maybe not at all...to be precise, he missed the target by not less than five feet, because he simply hadn't been concentrating on what he was doing.

A loud yelp followed this action, making Itachi jump. He hadn't hit someone, had he?

A blink of an eye later, an outraged and very angry looking boy stomped out of the forest. His black hair was short and messy, his clothes were dirty and torn and his pitch-black eyes flashed with anger as he planted himself in front of Itachi.

"What the hell was that for, you little freak, huh?" he hissed, frantically waving the Kunai in front of the younger Uchihas face, while Itachi was staring at him wide-eyed. "Fuck, you almost nailed me to a tree with that!"

Itachi felt like covering his ears to not be corrupted by the foul language his vis-à-vis used. His mother would have ripped his head off had he ever used words like those.

"Uh...I am very sorry. I-uh, well, I wasn't concentrating enough. Please forgive me –"

"Whatever," the older boy interrupted him. He couldn't have been that much older, Itachi mused, but he was already wearing a hitai-ate – another kid that had been made Genin to be sent to war at too young an age.

"I better get going before you – hey, wait, aren't you Fugaku-Oji-san's brat?" he suddenly exclaimed.

"Yes I – hey, I am no brat!" Itachi protested as soon as he realised what exactly the person opposite had said.

"Are, too. You probably aren't even in academy yet."

"I will start next month."

"See? So you are a brat."

"Not being enrolled in academy doesn't automatically make me a brat. A brat is a child which is disobedient and impudent, and it seems to me that those terms apply to you rather than to me," Itachi shot back.

The Genin blinked, thunderstruck. Then, he burst out laughing. "You-," he gasped in between his laughing fit, "you are sure as hell turning out just like your father. Wait and see, you are going to be the most typical Uchiha in the world."

Itachi didn't know whether this was a compliment or an insult. "You are the most un-Uchiha-like Uchiha I have ever met," he commented.

"Which is why uncle Fugaku will be very proud of you but never proud of me," the boy replied casually. "Well, at least I don't have a stick shoved up my ass."

Itachi chose to ignore the very, very inappropriate remark. "Fugaku-Oji-san? Wouldn't that make you-"

"Your cousin, exactly. One of many, so don't feel sorry for not remembering me. I don't exactly spend a lot of time at family meetings and celebrations, they are way too boring. I'm Shisui."

Shisui...yes, Itachi had heard that name before. Mostly, if he recalled correctly, whenever there was someone complaining about something going wrong or being broken or causing trouble.

"It's a pleasure to meet you, Shisui-Nii-san," Itachi said politely and, surprisingly, he meant it. He didn't know why, but he liked this boy. Yes he was a loud mouth and ill-mannered and obviously pretty full of himself, but for some reason, he liked him.

Shisui threw him a skew and definitely fake smile. "You would be the first," he said darkly.

"P-Pardon me?"

"The first Uchiha to take pleasure in meeting me."

"Hn. Maybe I am not the most typical Uchiha, then."

Shisui eyed him suspiciously. Then a lopsided grin appeared on his face. "Maybe," he agreed. "But with the language you use, I'm sure you've still got a stick shoved up your ass."

Itachi glared at him.

"Oooh, scary." Shisui laughed, and a second later, he was gone.

Itachi had been expecting many things. He had prepared for not seeing Shisui again for some months or years to come. He had prepared for having to face his taunting should they ever run into each other or should he show up at his training spot again. He had prepared for being ignored.

Every single option had seemed likely, especially after thoroughly informing himself about Uchiha Shisui. What he had heard about the boy had ranged from "troublemaker" over "cheerful and kind boy" and "very strong Genin" to "a disgrace for this clan".

Yet he had not expected his cousin to show up at his doorstep only two days after their first meeting.

"Good morning, Oba-san," Shisui greeted as Mikoto opened the door, and Itachi almost dropped his chopsticks, startled by the already familiar voice and, most of all, his cousin's politeness. He wouldn't have thought Shisui was capable of being polite.

"Shisui-kun." His mother sounded genuinely surprised. "What can I do for you?"

"Is Itachi-Nii-san home?"

"Oh- ah, yes, he is. Wait, I will call him. Itachi?"

"I'm coming, Okaa-san."

Mikoto disappeared into the kitchen after throwing him a confused look as he proceeded towards the front door. As soon as she had left, Shisui dropped his mask and leaned against the doorframe casually.

"Yo" he said, again grinning his lopsided grin.

"Can I help you, Shisui-Nii-san?"

"Well" Shisui's grin became somewhat evil, "I was bored, so I figured I could train with you."

"Train with me?"

"Yup. I mean, you seriously need some shuriken and kunai practice – your aim must be really suckish if you managed to miss the target so clearly, and I don't want my friends to go all like 'Hey, Shisui, your little cousin is a suckish ninja', right?"

"Did it ever occur to you that maybe I missed on purpose?" Itachi asked slightly offended.

"Sure. And I'm the prince of fire country."

"You certainly behave as if you were."

Shisui's grin only widened. "That's because I'm awesome."

Itachi snorted.

His cousin turned and walked away. "You coming or what?" he called over his shoulder. "I'm not going to wait forever."

And Itachi sprinted to his room to grab his ninja gear to follow Shisui to the clearing by the Nakano River.

It had soon become a routine to meet by the riverside at least once a week, to train and gossip (well Shisui would gossip and Itachi would just listen and file the information away in his head for later retrieval or use) and laugh.

Itachi knew his father didn't necessarily approve of his friendship with his older cousin, but he had not yet forbidden it, because Itachi never got involved in the pranks Shisui liked to play and spending time with Shisui didn't affect his commitment to academy and the clan in the slightest, and, luckily, he didn't have a bad influence on him concerning the language. In fact, Itachi had proven to be the prodigy he had been labelled even before he became a ninja because of his cousin. Shisui had taught him how to perfect his aim. Shisui had taught him that fighting wasn't necessarily a bad thing if you did it for the right reasons. Shisui had taught him that it was important to protect the defenceless at all costs.

If it weren't for Shisui, he wouldn't be the person he was now.

Unfortunately, Itachi didn't seem to have a calming effect on Shisui in the slightest. It seemed that his cousin was completely immune to what should have been a good influence on him.

"Man, do you really need to babysit that little brat? I thought we could have some fun today," Shisui whined, glaring at the six month old bundle in his best friend's lap.

"I don't see why we cannot have fun although Sasuke is present," Itachi replied. "And my Otouto is no brat, so please stop calling him that."

"He is a brat and you know it! He is whining all the time and-"

"So are you."

"- and I honestly don't know how you can stand being around him and looking after him all the time. Man, you are like a mother hen when it comes to him," Shisui continued, completely ignoring Itachi's remark.

Itachi shrugged. "I don't mind looking after him. Actually, I quite enjoy it. Do you know he said his first word two days ago?"

"Really?" Shisui asked rather bored, and began to throw stones into the river, making them bounce several times before drowning. "What was it?"

"Itachi," he announced proudly. Sasuke gurgled happily at the sound of his voice.

Shisui stared at his cousins. "Really? What happened to the ordinary Mama and Papa?"

"I don't know. Okaa-san was really disappointed, though."

Shisui chuckled. "Not really surprising, is it?"

He leaned over his baby cousin who let out an excited laugh and tried to grab the older boy's spiky hair with his tiny hands. "Stay away from my hair, brat" Shisui warned Sasuke. "My hair is sacred, so don't you dare messing it up!"

Itachi snorted. "As if anyone could mess it up more."

Again, he was ignored by Shisui, who was still focused on his brother. "Can you say my name, too?" Shisui asked. "Shi-su-i."

Sasuke stared at him wide-eyed, tilting his head to the left side as if thinking very hard. "Come on, man, it's not that hard. Shiiiiiiii-suuuuuuuuuuuuu-iiiiiiiii."

Itachi had to bite back a laugh. His cousin sounded utterly ridiculous. To his surprise, though, Sasuke really began to make some sounds that at least resembled Shisui's name.

"Sii..shiiiii..."

"That's right. Shi-su-i."

"Shii-Shiiiiiiii- Shiiiishuuu."

"Shi-su-i."

"Shiiiii-Shiiiiiii-Shiiii-shi-tchu!" Sasuke sneezed suddenly, and a good deal of white snot landed on Shisui's face. Itachi couldn't help but burst out laughing at the look of surprise and disgust on Shisui's face.

"Uääh!"

"Uääääeeeyyy!" Sasuke mimicked, giggling with laughter.

"That's not funny!" Shisui shouted angrily, but neither of his cousins listened to him. They were too busy laughing.

A lot of people were there to congratulate Itachi on his graduation from academy. Everyone was making a fuss about it.

"Itachi-kun, we are so proud of you..."

"To graduate with perfect scores and that after only one years of academy!"

"He's a prodigy-"

"Just what was to be expected of the clan heir."

"He brings honour to the Uchiha clan..."

Itachi could hear the comments, but he tuned out the voices. He didn't really want to hear it. Kami, he didn't even know half of the persons who had come to the huge party Mikoto was throwing for him! He didn't want to be here, he didn't want to be with all those people. He wanted to be with-

Itachi was so lost in thoughts that he didn't even see the boy approaching him, getting incredulous looks as he made his way through the crowd. Shisui wasn't someone who was usually seen at events like this, so no one had expected him to come, not even Itachi. Only when someone tapped on his shoulder, he turned around and noticed who was standing right behind him.

Itachi's mouth fell open.

"Shisui?" he asked incredulously. "What are you doing here?"

"Well, I heard that this brat of my cousin graduated, so I figured it would be appropriate to come over and offer my congratulations as well."

Shisui gave him his trademark grin, and although Itachi knew it was very inappropriate, he couldn't help but hug his cousin, because Shisui was the only person he had wanted to see on this special day.

"Let's get out of here, shall we?"

Itachi nodded, and a few minutes later they were off to the Nakano River, not caring that everyone was wondering where the Uchiha prodigy had disappeared to.

"I got you something,"Shisui announced, rummaging in his pockets until he found the little box he had been looking for.

Itachi smiled. "I got you something, too." And he held out a small box to his best friend, too.

"Huh?" Shisui looked confused. "Why? I'm not the one graduating today."

"No, you're the one whose birthday was yesterday. Don't think I forgot. I would have given this present to you earlier, but since you were on a mission..."

"I never told when my birthday was."

"Well, I am the Uchiha prodigy, after all," Itachi noted with a grin. Maybe Shisui's behaviour was rubbing off on him after all.

Shisui snorted softly and stared at the present in his hands as if it was the most valuable thing he had ever seen. "Thanks."

"You're welcome," Itachi replied. "...Don't you want to open it?"

"Oh, sure, sure."

"Shisui..." Itachi frowned. "When was the last time you got a present?"

"Uhm...before Mom died, I think."

"But that was even before I knew you!" Itachi exclaimed.

"Hn."

Itachi would have chuckled at the monosyllabic grunt had the thing he had just learned not been so sad. "Open it already."

Shisui fumbled with the paper wrapped around the box and tore it off. Slowly, he opened the box and stared at its content – and then he started to laugh like a maniac.

"What's so funny?" Itachi asked, torn between anger and worry that he might not like the present he had picket.

"Open yours."

Frowning, Itachi opened Shisui's present and suddenly understood why his cousin had laughed as he saw the necklace in the box, simple and grey with three rings – the same that he had bought for Shisui.

"Huh."

Shisui was still laughing. "Kami, this is hilarious. Everyone will think we are completely gay if we both run around with the same necklace."

"Does that bother you?"

Shisui grinned. "Nah. I will definitely wear it."

And so it was.

Not many people knew, but the reason Uchiha Itachi activated his Sharingan at the age of eight – he was the youngest to awaken his Sharingan in...well, ever – was because of Uchiha Shisui.

Itachi was eight years old when realised just how much Shisui meant to him. And as always, you only learn how to worship what you love when you almost lose it.

Shisui had been off for a mission that was supposed to take not much more than a week. B-Rank. Simple. Easy. Itachi hadn't worried at all, because he knew Shisui was strong, and he knew his cousin could look after himself. After all, he'd done so long enough. He'd survived the war, so why would he not survive a simple B-Rank mission?

It had been a normal day. Having breakfast with Sasuke and his parents, preparing for a mission with his team, completing the mission, training, dinner. And then it turned into a total nightmare.

Even though Shisui was his best friend, Itachi had never been at his house, and had never seen his father before, either. Yet, when Shisui's father suddenly appeared at the front door, he recognized him at once, because Shisui was just a smaller version of this man, from the thin, angular body to the spiky, messed up hair.

"My son," was all he said, and it was all it needed for Itachi to understand. He was sure Shisui's father had never meant to ask him, an eight year old child for help, regardless that he was the Uchiha prodigy, but he couldn't just sit around and wait.

Itachi ran as fast as he could, he ran and ran and ran until he heard the noise of the battle. It only took him seconds to assess the situation. Shisui's team was down, attacked by mist ninjas. His cousin himself was wounded – he could see the blood trickle from the deep cut on his leg, he could see the bruises forming on Shisui's face, and from the way he moved he could see that he was exhausted and he was pretty sure some of his bones were broken, too.

He knew Shisui wouldn't stand much longer. Not alone, wounded and weary, and not against three apparently very strong shinobi.

And then his cousin collapsed.

Itachi charged at once, without even thinking about it, and at first he didn't even notice the red colour of the Sharingan spinning in his eyes. He only though about one thing:

Save Shisui. Don't let him die.

The mist ninjas didn't even know what hit them. One after the other fell to the ground, dead. Itachi didn't take the time to check whether their hearts really weren't beating anymore. Instead, he lifted his unconscious cousin up and rushed to the hospital.

Beep...beep...beep...beep...beep...beep...beep...beep

Three years later, the roles were reversed. Now Shisui was the once sitting on Itachi's hospital bed, growing increasingly unnerved by the constant beeping of those stupid stupid stupid machines, and fearing that his cousin wouldn't make it. Dammit, Itachi was supposed to be a prodigy, invulnerable and stuff. Itachi was supposed to save him, not be in intensive care for days with Shisui watching over him.

"It doesn't look good," the nurse had said, "He's stable at the moment, but..."

Shisui had heard this before, when his father had died some months ago. He hadn't cried back then. But he knew that if Itachi should die, he would break down.

Ever since his father's death, the two of them had grown even closer. Sure, Itachi often brought Sasuke with him – Shisui would never know why he was so attached to that brat, sure, the kid was cute and all, but he wouldn't want to be around Sasuke all the time – but they also spent a lot of time on their own. After missions, Itachi often came over to sleep at Shisui's place, silently telling him that he was there, and always would be there for him.

Shisui sat in silence for hours, for once not grinning, not moving, not babbling away. He just sat there and stared at Itachi's face, willing his cousin's heart to beat.

"Don't die on me, brat!" he whispered. "Don't die on me."

Damn. He was in ANBU. He should know how to control his feelings better. He was supposed to know and accept that shinobi died on missions. Until now, this had been easy enough. He had seen many die, and it had never bothered him.

But watching the person you love the most being so close to death was an entirely different matter.

The hours passed by in a blur, and yet they dragged on endlessly. Shisui soon stopped to count them. How long had he been sitting here? Two hours? Three? Five? Eight? He didn't care. The sky darkened outside and grew light again, without anything changing.

And then a little miracle happened.

Shisui was on the verge of falling asleep from the sheer emotional exhaustion when suddenly, the beeping of the machines sped up and Itachi's eyelids fluttered open.

"Shi...Shisui?" Itachi croaked, his voice hoarse from not speaking in days.

With a jolt, Shisui sat up. "Itachi!"

"What happened?"

"You're awake!" Shisui exclaimed, still unable to believe this was not just an hallucination.

"Uh...yes, obviously...but what happened?"

Ignoring Itachi's question again, Shisui hugged the younger boy, and he didn't really care that Itachi winced with pain (probably it was one of his broken ribs), because he just needed to hold him close.

"Don't you ever do this to me again!" he said, realizing that his voice sounded kind of strangled and thick with the tears he didn't shed.

"Shisui...can't...breathe," Itachi choked, and Shisui immediately let go.

"Sorry."

And then he gave his favourite cousin his favourite lopsided grin.

"We need to find you a girlfriend," Shisui announced loudly, making Itachi jump and almost causing him to fall into the river.

"Pardon me?" the younger Uchiha spluttered.

"We need to find you a girlfriend," Shisui repeated patiently. "Shouldn't be too hard – after all, you've got a bunch of girls chasing after you."

"You want to feed me the fangirls? What kind of friend are you?"

"One that only wants the best for you."

Itachi threw him a menacing glare. "Shisui, you are my best friend, but sometimes I really have to fight the urge to strangle you."

"Same here, same here." Shisui chuckled. "You know, we wouldn't have that much fun if we didn't feel that way. Now, back to the topi-"

"I refuse to engage in a stupid conversation like this one."

"Man, you are twelve! Twelve! Almost thirteen! Have you never thought about kissing a girl?" Shisui exclaimed.

"No, I haven't."

"Geez, something is seriously wrong with you" Shisui muttered. "What are you, some kind of mutant?"

"..."

"Seriously, every guy wants that! And you don't even waste a thought on it? Something must be wrong with you!"

"I'm not interested in girls."

"Are you interested in guys, then?"

Another death glare.

Shisui sighed. "Okay, okay, I get it, no more girlfriend talk. It's a shame though, really. All those poor, broken hearted and lonely girls..."

"Shisui!"

"Okay, okay, I'll stop," Shisui said, rolling his eyes. "However, if you ever think about it, I know some hot chicks who would-"

"SHISUI!"

"Alright, man, calm down. What's with you anyway? I thought I had pulled that stick out of your ass a long time ago."

Itachi didn't answer at first, but suddenly the easy mood was gone, replaced by a dull ambience and an awkward feeling of foresight. "I'll be placed in ANBU."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"But that's awesome! Maybe we'll even get to go on missions together!"

"Shisui" Itachi's voice sounded strangely strangled again, like it had so often these days, and it left him worried. "There is only one reason I'm being placed in ANBU. I know you have been inducted in the clan's plans, and I know you have been working on this matter, too."

"Ah" Shisui said, all the happiness vanished from his voice. "So that's it."

He found himself fearing for Itachi again. Being a double agent was dangerous as hell, especially if you were supposed to work under Danzo. But then again – who could do it if not Itachi?

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Shisui asked carefully, because after all those years, he knew when something was bothering Itachi.

"I know what I will have to do," Itachi growled. And with that, the conversation was ended.

Itachi always thought he would die one day because Shisui gave him a heart attack, or annoyed him to death, or something similar. However, he had always thought he would die first, and Shisui would live on, still smiling and enjoying his life.

Someone like Shisui wasn't supposed to die that young. And especially not by his hands.

But life was never the way it was supposed to be.

Itachi knows what he has to do, and he knows he will do it, although it tears him apart. He loves Shisui, but he loves Sasuke more. He would do anything to protect him.

And the worst thing is that he knows Shisui will understand.

Unconsciously, his hand fingers at the necklace Shisui has given him so many years ago. It seems to him that it has been an eternity. Life had been so easy back then. Now everything was complicated and, to say it with Shisui's words, fucked up: Konoha was, the Uchiha clan was, he was.

Itachi has never felt so tired before.

While staring at the constant flow of the Nakano River, Itachi wonders whether Shisui already knows. He has suspected something, that is for sure. The entire clan has begun to suspect him, because he let some remarks slip that caught their attention. And the task of watching him, observing him, monitoring his every move, has fallen to Shisui of all persons. Shisui, who had always resented the clan, and who was now so happy to be a part of it that he even supported the Coup d'état.

"Yo." A familiar figure appears by his side. Shisui is grinning at him, as usual.

It had been far too easy to get him to skip the clan meeting and meet him here, because Shisui still liked to break the rules. For a split second, Itachi wishes that Shisui wouldn't have come. "Run, you idiot, run!" he wants to scream at him, but he doesn't.

"So," Shisui begins light-heartedly, while Itachi just continues to stare at the dark water, "have you finally decided what chick you wanna date?"

"That's not why I asked you to come here," Itachi replies gravely, and Shisui's smile fades away.

"I know," he says plainly. "I know."

He even has the nerve to make it sound like "It's okay."

Itachi feels a sob violently trying to break free from his lips, and no matter how much he tries to restrain it, it comes out anyway. Suddenly, strong hands grab his shoulders and Itachi is whirled around and pulled close to his best friend, and then Shisui's lips are on his, crashing on them as desperately as Itachi holds onto Shisui's shirt for support to not break down crying. His cousin's mouth is hot and wet and tastes like Dango and salt, and Itachi wishes this moment could last forever.

But the world is never how it is supposed to be.

"I love you," is all Itachi says when he finally pulls away, but what he really means is "I am sorry".

"I know," Shisui replies and only Itachi would know him well enough to know that he was actually saying "I forgive you".

Shisui doesn't even struggle, not once, as Itachi presses his head under the cold water. And as his heart stops beating and his body goes limp, the world goes dark, because his sun has eclipsed.

A/N.: Uh...well...yeah. Reviews?