Ohmygod I think it's been 5 years since I last updated this story (shame shame shame!). I'd tried to revisit it a number of times over the years, but I'd always get lost in life and forget about it but... well, here it is. After 5 years, the final chapter to this story. I hope you like it.

Disclaimer: Anything Twilight related obviously belongs to

Chapter 30

Leah Clearwater

The thick forest around La Push never changed – it was a satisfying, constant reminder of the safety that the reservation always held for me, the marks of home. Barefoot, I raced through the trees, dodging bushes and shrubs almost instinctively – I knew these forests like the back of my hand, I could rush through them with my eyes closed. Nevertheless, my eyes were open, soaking in everything around me, as far as I could see.

The wonderful feeling of running had never left me over the years, and I thought it never would, in reality. It had become so embedded into our beings, that it had become a part of us. We were creatures that ran. The air was cool, settling around my bare shoulders like a blanket, a welcome contrast against my elevated temperature – it was like constantly having a cold shower. I smiled to myself. I could feel my wolf twisting around just beneath the surface of my skin, aching to phase and take off in a sprint, but I wouldn't let myself today. Today was about being human.

I slowed my pace slightly until I came to a slow stop – the final dash had been uphill, and I looked around me as I caught my breath. The sun was still lazily making its way up into the sky – it was maybe 10am… I wasn't sure. It painted the sky a pretty colour, darting through the thick clouds at random intervals, settling over the unusually calm sea in front of me. The landscape was serene and quiet, interrupted only by the occasional cawing of birds or rustling of trees in the slight breeze. My eyes scanned the surroundings – I'd grown accustomed to this place, to everything in it.

"Good morning," a musical voice called out. I'd sensed him long before he'd decided to make his presence known, but that was just the way of it – our meetings. I turned around slowly, letting a small grin creep onto my features.

"Hey, Edward." He was standing on the front porch, gripping the door frame slightly, a smile on his frozen face. He was wearing a loose, white linen shirt and slacks, and his hands were dirty with colour – he'd taken to painting recently. I nodded in his direction, and he nodded back, our own way of greeting each other, before he stepped aside, his invitation to let me inside.

The cottage had been finished almost nine years ago, amidst several arguments and failed attempts at actually building it – it had turned out, coordinating a pack of wolves into doing something so complex was significantly harder than we'd initially thought. But Edward had been patient – he'd been in no rush, he had a lifetime, after all. When all decisions had eventually been settled, and the actual building had begun, progress moved along fairly nicely. The girls – Emily, Rachel and Kim – had spent hours upon hours trying to decide how to decorate the home for Edward, and in the end – even though it was no work of art by Alice – they'd managed to capture a certain emotion within the walls of the house that seemed to make Edward happy.

It was a small house, high up on the cliffs – the walls were painted white and the windows and doors a dark grey. Edward had planted flowers and plants and herbs all around the house, one huge garden, and added pots to the windows adding colour to the façade of the house. Sometimes, it seemed like something out of a fairy tale book, and I joked with him that it made me want to puke. It was a simple, single storey place, with a single bedroom, a bathroom, a small kitchen and living space – enough to accommodate one vampire for the rest of eternity.

I followed Edward into the house, completely at ease with the smell – I'd gotten used to it by now, and he had gotten used to mine. Sort of like a truce. An easel was set up in front of the large bay window that Edward had wanted at the front of the house. When I came to visit, we'd usually sit in front of the window, sipping tea that he'd make me or beer, depending on what mood I was in – Edward always stocked the kitchen up for his visitors. The window captured the beautiful landscape of our reservation perfectly, and it amplified the beauty of Edward's little cottage tenfold. We'd just sit and watch the waves quietly, sometimes, and when we felt like it, we would talk. It was an easy relationship with Edward – neither of us expected anything out of it, and that was enough.

But today, it seemed, we wouldn't be sitting in front of the window.

"Who is it today?"

Edward smirked and scratched the back of his head – his movements were so human sometimes, I forgot his true nature. "Turner." Edward was going through a phase – he was studying artists of different time periods and artistic styles and employing their philosophy in his own works. Needless to say, our homes were now filled with his paintings.

"Looks cool," I said, walking over to the unfinished canvas, admiring the sure brushstrokes in a mixture of dull greys swirling all over it.

"Alone today?" he asked, as soon as I was done surveying the canvas. I made my way over to the couch and fell back onto it, tucking my legs beneath me as I made myself comfortable.

"They're on the way," I stated, grinning cheekily.

Edward laughed, "What's taking them so long?"

"It was supposed to be a race," I explained, rolling my eyes in amusement, "I'm still unbeaten when it comes to speed."

"So it seems. Tea?"

"Just a bit of water, thanks." I heard him rummage around the kitchen until he tossed a bottle of water my way. He walked over to the armchair and settled down in it himself, picking at a loose thread slowly as I sipped on my water. "Everything okay?"

"Yeah, yeah… it's been a while since you visited."

"I know. It's gotten so busy lately, with work and school and –" I was interrupted by two sets of short, ragged breaths making their way up the cliff. Edward heard them too and laughed. "It's about time," I muttered. Edward got up to open the door, leaving it ajar for when they arrived, their breaths drawing closer and closer.

Finally, they burst through the door. "Uncle Edward!"

"Hey, you," Edward cooed, opening his arms, awaiting hugs. I watched as they flew into the room, attacking Edward on his armchair, unaffected by his hard skin and cold temperature.

"We missed you," Lily remarked, turning towards me with furrowed brows. "Mom is always too busy to bring us." The girl even had the audacity to cross her arms over her chest with a small hmph. Karma was definitely coming back to bite me in the ass with her.

"Come on, Lilly, you know with school its so hard to make time for other stuff – your homework, your assignments, your playdates," I reasoned, but she was having none of it. Her cheeks were still flushed from the run, her dark hair smoothed out because of the wind, her eyes twinkling in wonder and mischief as she continued to defy me. Jacob's eyes.

"Excuses," she muttered, before sitting down on the couch and leaning against me.

Edward laughed at her words, still holding onto Harry. "I missed you too," Edward assured her, "but I've got the candies to make up for it."

At that, their ears perked, and Harry rushed out of Edward's arms followed by Lily into the kitchen, opening cupboards and doors haphazardly looking for the sweets. It was something they associated with Edward, his secret stash of candies and cookies – he was worse than Billy or my mom. Satisfied, they returned back to the living room each with their own hoard of sweets.

"You're not going to eat them all today," I warned, but Harry was already unwrapping his first candy bar and Lord knows that kid could not be stopped. I pulled him onto my lap, removing the hair band from his hair and letting his curly, dark locks trail down past his shoulders – he was almost six years old now, but I couldn't bring myself to cut his beautiful tresses yet. Jacob had been complaining for at least a short trim, but I couldn't commit yet. I brushed my fingers through his hair before I scooped it back up into a small bun at the back of his head, him still munching away on the chocolate.

"Uncle Seth said to say hi," Lily announced as she sorted through her candy meticulously.

"He was on patrol," I explained to Edward, which also explained why I'd let them race up here on their own. It was something we did – racing through the forest, as a family, and the kids had grown accustomed to the forest around their home since a very young age. They didn't mind racing – they actually loved it, and they knew the path up to Edward's home well.

"Ah, I see. Well, tell him I said hi. And say hi to your dad for me, and little Adam too."

Lily scoffed. As an eight year old, my daughter was completely unamused by the newest addition to the family – her little brother. She'd eventually accepted Harry after much convincing, but Adam was taking longer. She could not, for the life of her, understand why we needed another boy. Weren't daddy and Harry enough? "He won't stop crying," she said, looking at Edward with a tired expression on her face, before turning back to face me. "See, mom, I told you he was a bad idea."

"I like Adam," Harry announced between mouthfuls, shifting around on my lap to look at his sister. His small cheeks were covered in chocolate, but his eyes smiled and something inside me welled with pride as I clutched my son in my arms.

"You like everyone," Lily dismissed – and it was true, he really did like everyone, like my own little Seth following me around the house, always smiling, always happy. Lily was more like me on her bad days, but like her dad on her good days.

"Why don't you go play?" I suggested, lifting Harry off of my lap and placing him firmly on the floor. I took the candy and wrappers from his hands, and pushed him towards the back door before he could complain, ushering her out behind him. Lily took her brother by the hand and led him outside to the swing set that Edward had requested specifically for when the kids visited.

"Sorry about that, she won't stop complaining about the baby. It's worse for her now because she really wanted a little sister, and I tried to explain that we had no control over that but she's too young to wrap her around it. So whenever he cries, she complains and she's wearing my head in," I explained with a small smile, because for all the complaints I made about my kids, I wouldn't trade Lily's attitude for anything.

"Jacob's with the baby?"

"Yeah, I hadn't been on a run with the kids for a long time, so he offered to stay with him for the day while I visited you. I think he said something about coming over himself this week."

Edward nodded, but he seemed to be wound tight, like he was holding something back.

"Is something wrong?"

He pressed his lips together firmly, eyeing me slowly, as if afraid what he was about to say would make me combust. "Nothing is wrong," he started, still tugging at that loose thread on the arm of the chair – it was getting irritating. "Leah, it's been almost ten years since my wife died and I chose to relocate to this house. They have been some of the most wonderful years of my life – I've watched your pack grow and mature, I've witnessed the births of your children and their growth over the years. So many things have changed, but I look at you and Jacob and Seth and I see that you have not changed. You are still the same as you were a decade ago, and will never change as long as I am here. Sam and Jared and Paul and Quil have changed, they've grown, they look ten years older than you but they are your age – do you see what I'm getting at? My presence here is unnatural, it is affecting your natural progression as humans – your children are humans, Leah, they will age and grow… unlike you."

"It was our decision to keep phasing," I interjected, but I could feel it at the pit of my stomach – that annoying feeling that Edward was tugging at something that I did not want to acknowledge. People knew there was something weird about Jake and I, how Sam looked older but we looked just the same, but no one questioned it because of Jake's status as chief. And we brushed it off and took it in our stride. Sometimes, I was reminded of the decision when Rachel complained of a new wrinkle, or a stretchmark from one of her pregnancies, and I stood there, in all my nineteen year old glory – but it was a promise we'd made a long time ago and neither one of us was willing to break it.

Sam had been the first to stop, followed by Jared and then Paul. Then, much to everyone's surprise, Quil also stopped phasing – everyone had thought he'd wait for Claire and then stop, but that had not been his plan. Claire was now a teenager, making her way through life with her wise Uncle Quil guiding her along, bestowing his wisdom upon her when necessary, and using her as a babysitter the rest of the time. Embry had given up on finding his imprint and also stopped, leaving the pack down to just three members: Jake, Seth and I. It reminded me of the time when we'd broken off from Sam's pack – very different times. Nowadays, we patrolled the area sometimes, with help from Edward. He took the bulk of the patrols himself, patrolling the old borders to the Cullens used to control back in the day. Nomad vampires were a rarity, and we hadn't seen one in a very long time.

I'd only just recently been able to phase again myself: whenever I got pregnant, my wolf seemed to hide back in the farthest recesses of my mind, allowing me the space I needed to nurture the life within me. A few months later, I would get her back, and she'd be excited for the first phase, as would I.

I allowed these thoughts to play along inside my head, aware that Edward was watching them with me. I didn't mind him reading my thoughts anymore – given the situation, it was a more effective means of communication.

"We made a promise," I said softly, so softly I could barely hear myself, but Edward caught it and smiled sadly.

"I know, Leah, and I appreciate that you've respected the promise for so long, but we have to admit that my presence here is becoming … an inconvenience."

"No," I said sharply.

"I wanted to stay here to mourn my wife and daughter, and I feel that watching your pack for the last few years has given me the closure I needed – that from all that chaos and despair, your three beautiful children were born, is the only knowledge I need to keep living my life. I have stopped mourning: I had my Bella and my Reneesme for as long as I could, and their memory is with me always. I cannot keep disrupting your lives, Leah. You have given me so much more than I deserved: you allowed me a little bit of humanity when I needed it the most, and I am thankful. This is my gift to you: I am leaving. Carlisle and Esme are in Russia with Alice and Jasper – I think I will join them there. I haven't been to Russia in a long time, and a change would be nice." He paused, his amber eyes glowing softly in the dim morning light. The silence between us was punctured by the sounds of Lily and Harry arguing outside, but I was wrapped up in Edward's words deeply, trying to accept that he was leaving – we were losing a friend.

Because that is what Edward had become over the years – a friend. We'd helped him get through a terrible time in his life, and he had always been there, a source of knowledge and advice, and a shoulder to lean on in harder times. But a part of me was elated, happy about the news: he was letting us go, we were free. My heart swelled as I realized that I would be able to age with my children, to watch myself grow and wrinkle and to share these experiences with Jacob – we could finally have a normal life.

It had been a distant worry in my mind – as I watched Lily grow, I realized that I was not. And fear had gripped me when I realized that there could come a time when she looked actually older than me, that she would be older than me… that I'd grip her old, yellowed hands in mine watching her succumb to age while I was still trapped in my young body. I'd pushed those thoughts as far away as I could, but I knew that sometime I'd have to face them.

But now, those worries dissolved – Edward had taken them away from me. I couldn't find it in myself to resist him – to argue with how wrong this was, how his place was here with us.

"Thank you," I whispered. He nodded slowly; there was no need for physical contact between us, no hugs were needed. Words were enough to convey the gratitude I felt towards him, how thankful I was for his sacrifice. "When will you leave?"

"Soon. I wish to leave before the anniversary of Bella's death… that would make it… harder, to leave."

"I understand … will you tell Jacob yourself?"

"Please… it's the least I can do."

I nodded and turned to face the large window. My children were still playing outside, their voices rising above the sounds of the forest and the wind whipping around the house – there was something new in my love for them now, a sense of urgency to enjoy every single moment with them, now that my time here was finally limited.

-:-

I lay in bed, waiting for Jacob to return. He'd gone to visit Edward in the late afternoon and had yet to return. The kids were asleep, Adam sleeping soundly in the small crib beside our bed. I sat up, looking into the crib, admiring his small nose and dark head of hair, his small hands bunched up into tiny fists, as if he was always mad about something.

His even breathing was soothing to my mind, his small heart almost like a lullaby, urging me to sleep – but I had to stay awake, for Jacob. This was an important new chapter in our lives.

Eventually, I heard him enter through the back door. The smell of the forest was heavy on him, and he didn't bother to be extra quiet, as he knew I was awake. I turned to face the door as he entered the room and closed it slowly behind him. His eyes were dark in the light, but there was a softness about them. He pulled off his shorts and climbed into bed, the mattress dipping under his massive weight. He reached for me, wrapping his arm around my waist and pulling me to him, tucking my head under his chin and holding me close.

We remained in silence for a while, enjoying each other's presence. His grip around me tightened and I knew he wanted to say something.

"Leah," he started, slipping a finger under my chin and tilting my face up to look at him. His eyes stared back down at me – Lily's eyes, Harry's eyes – and he smiled. "Leah, you've always had a special place in my heart, but when we became wolves, things beyond us brought us together and gave us a life together, one that I never imagined I'd get to have with anyone. But, I want you to know, that even if we weren't wolves… if we were just Jacob and Leah, it still would have been you."

I smiled and scooted up to kiss his lips slowly. I wanted to relish every moment now. "I love you, Jake."

"I love you too, Leah. These past few years we've managed to weave the wolves into our lives, they've become a part of us but now we get to let them go. We get to be normal. We get to give our kids the best childhoods they deserve, we get to grow old together. Oh god, Leah, I can't wait to grow old with you." His voice rumbled through his chest, and he laughed, shaking us as he did so.

A weight had been lifted off of us, a weight we hadn't even known was there. And, oh, it felt so good to know that we were free. I kissed his chest lightly, gripping onto him hard.

We didn't have forever, but that was okay … it was more than enough.

The End