Gilbert remembered the first time he was raped by his brother clearly, the searing agony of it all, the humiliation, and way Ludwig whispered with tears in his eyes 'I'm so sorry'.
The first time was an order from his boss, others were a violent act of a child demanding affection he didn't deserve.
Ludwig had been pinning after his elder sibling for a long time, wishing and hoping the two of them could be lovers someday. Gilbert did love his brother more than anything, but no more than family. Prussia would refuse the existence of such feelings from him, but would never crush that hope or turn the blonde away. The Germanic nation called himself a coward for being too gentle with the heart given to him.
The rest of the world however, was not as kind.
The loss of the Great War devastated Germany and brought the proud nation to his knees. Nations came and went, taking everything they had and leaving their lives spared and unwanted. Why did they call it 'mercy' when everyday was spent in excruciating pain?
The blonde was shaking with grief and hunger as they both waited on the brink of death when a light flittered in the dark.
A voice seemed to speak to Ludwig inside his head, making promises of a glorious empire that stretched to the four corners of the Earth and of retribution.
The blonde watched Gilbert try to rebuild with fumbling hands, the elder brother who had been so strong, was now so pale and thin to the point of being bones. Ludwig understood what had to be done and thus, war began anew.
Gilbert never felt so angry in his life, he screamed at him that this was a horrible mistake that would surely kill them all. The blonde refused to give up the dream of an empire for two and tried one last time to convince his brother to join him.
"Please East, I need you with me." Ludwig pleaded as Gilbert tried to force him out of his home, the white-haired German was furious. "How many times do I have to tell you 'No'! I want nothing to do with you or your stupid Fatherland bullshit!" He screamed and the blonde grabbed his arm.
Ludwig's heart sank at the rejection, but he pressed on "I'm only saying this because I love you!"
A fist connected with his jaw and sent the younger sibling to the floor, Gilbert's face grew taut and his eyes went wide "Get out." He breathed, refusing to meet worried blue eyes. This was the first time his brother ever struck him. "Brother, please…" The blonde begged and pulled himself up to his feet, holding a bruised cheek. It wasn't supposed to happen this way, they should be together…
The older sibling tried to restrain himself, but snapped when his brother reached out to him "I said GET OUT!"
A flash of anger and a splash of blood, and their positions changed dramatically. Gilbert watched with fear as he crumpled to the floor, cradling a cracked skull.
Ludwig let the broken vase fall to the floor and crouched to meet his injured sibling, whispering soft apologies. With gentle touches, he drew a handkerchief from his pocket and dabbed at the fluid staining Prussia's hair pink. "I'm so sorry…" Oddly pleased at the lack of resistance, the blonde shyly kissed his temple, being careful to flick his tongue over the warm wetness. The heat spread from his tongue and settled between his legs, making the German moan and grows hungry for more.
Delicate tastes quickly became long licks and Gilbert flinched away at the growl in his brother's throat. "Let go of me West, this isn't funny anymore…"
Hands that were so gentle before became as strong as iron and refused to let him go. Blue eyes never seemed as cold as when he spoke "This is how it should be, East."
Gilbert tried to rip his arm away, but he was too weak "Let me go, you're starting to scare me." A gloved hand was clamped over his mouth as Ludwig shushed him "Shh…Everything's going to be okay now, I'm not going to hurt you."
Resistance was hopeless, Germany was growing stronger while his brother had grown weak. The elder's shirt was torn open and used as a makeshift restraint. The blonde's teeth grazed his jugular between kisses and a hand dipped down to caress his brother's lifeless sex. "You don't want me?" he asked with hurt in his voice and Gilbert shook his head "Not like this."
"Give me a chance…We can be happy together…"
"No."
Ludwig didn't listen and took everything he wanted, leaving his brother broken on the floor.
…..
Things were different now, but only slightly.
The shabby apartment in Berlin was quickly replaced by a beautiful mansion in the German countryside. The rooms were spacious and the windows nailed shut, this was Gilbert's new home. The mansion was catered to by servants he never saw, the German could smash a vase in the morning and by afternoon the mess was gone.
Gilbert walked to one of the floor-length windows and watched the dogs prowl outside. They were animals hand-picked and trained by Ludwig himself. No one could ask for more loyal guards. The large hounds patrolling the forest of a yard wouldn't try to kill him if he escaped, but bark and bite until he was frightened back inside or was too bloody to keep running.
He could see a checkpoint down the road where a uniformed soldier waited with a gun to escort him back. Gilbert had known the man's family for years and wondered why everything had to change.
The little guardhouse did not exist when he first arrived but quickly became a necessary feature.
It was a few months ago, Prussia had ran as far as he could down the gravel road before a torn tendon ruined him. It was raining that afternoon and he didn't know how far or where the road would lead him but Gilbert had to take the chance. He stood at the doorstep with the beasts growling at his feet, a single step out of his cage was all they needed to attack.
He had gotten a little farther than where the checkpoint is now, a black beast of a Labrador had lunged at him and nearly tore off his foot at the ankle. Gilbert had fallen head first into the mud and was forced to wait with the dogs until yellow headlights shone in the dark.
An expensive car pulled around the bend and stopped a few feet from where the injured German was. Ludwig stepped out and slammed the door, frowning at his brother. "East…" He didn't say anything else as he scooped up his blood-soaked sibling and nestled him in the passenger seat. The blonde was furious and said nothing, he was angry at his brother for trying to run and angry at himself for not being there to stop it.
Upon returning home, the blonde carried him upstairs and drew him a hot bath. Gilbert lay on the bed that they shared and braced for anything. The younger brother walked into the bedroom with his coat missing and sleeves rolled up "Why?" The blonde questioned with hurt in his voice.
The elder German spoke simply "I need my freedom, West."
"You will have it when I can trust you with it!"He snapped and continued "I leave you be for a few hours to find you half dead on the side of the road! This is why I lock you in when I'm gone!"
Ludwig realized he was shouting and apologized, feeling ashamed for losing his temper. He climbed into the bed and slowly unbuttoned his brother's filthy shirt. "Look…I'm sorry. I'm trying best to make you happy…I don't want you to hate me." The blonde kissed Gilbert's cheek lightly in a silent plea for forgiveness. Ludwig often like this nowadays, switching back and forth from being horrible, violent outbursts to sweet and caring after Gilbert was covered in his own blood.
Ludwig's hands felt warm on cold, damp skin and the elder German found himself unwillingly seeking out that heat when he could no longer resist. "I could never hate you."
It was true, he admitted.
Even after being betrayed by the one person he trusted most, Gilbert could not bring himself to hate the blonde. He was angry and disappointed, but he still loved his brother more than anything.
Even as Ludwig slept and the dagger grew heavy in the German's hand, the elder brother could not bring himself to kill. One slice, a quick cut, and his Prussian freedom and the freedom of many others would be restored.
So night after night, Gilbert would lie awake dreading the act he could not commit and ones his brother could.
…
Gilbert stepped away from the window when he saw his brother step out of his car with a wrapped box in hand and wondered which nation had to die to foster such a good mood. The older brother wandered to the fenced-in backyard to avoid the blonde.
This was the only place Gilbert found comfort anymore and there a kinship to be had with the caged birds that shared his fate. He was a pet, an ornament left over from a bygone era that Ludwig refused to let go of. Thin hands held the barbed wire and soft footsteps approached from behind.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" The blonde smiled at the birds and held his brother from behind. Gilbert nodded in agreement. There was something different about him today, something resembling sanity.
Ludwig tenderly kissed the crook of his neck and seemed hesitant to speak "Can we go inside? I have wine for us…" The gentle words were a far cry from the orders he usually barked and he led his brother by the hand into the dining room.
A bottle sat open on a grand table with two glasses beside it, it seemed his brother already took a drink. "What's the occasion?"
The blonde poured a glass of the burgundy liquid and offered it to him "Can't I do something nice for my beloved brother?"
Gilbert took it suspiciously, the last time he spoke of kindness was when Ludwig forced one of his disgusting fantasies upon him.
He pushed back memories he tried to forget and took at drink.
Ludwig placed his hand over the crystal glass before it could touch his brother's lips. "…I…I can't do this anymore." Prussia was confused but the sickly sweet scent of the wine explained everything. A scream and gunfire rang outside the windows "Don't be afraid, East. America knows your innocence, he will not harm you."
"You…You tried to poison me! What's going on?" He demanded the truth.
"I don't have enough time to explain, but I can't die without telling you something first…." Germany guided his brother to sit down and held pale hand in his own. Tears pricked at blue eyes as he confessed "I've always loved you and I'm sorry…I'm sorry I couldn't have been a better brother, a better person. I never wanted to hurt you!"
Gilbert watched his little brother break in his arms, the elder German pulled him close and stroked his hair like when he was a child. "I never stopped loving you." Ludwig sobbed and his skin burned under Gilbert's fingertips. The blonde looked up to him with red-stained eyes and his heart cried out for something he shouldn't have.
A crash from downstairs signaled the intruders' arrival and Germany adoringly kissed him goodbye. Gilbert watched feeling cold and alone as the blonde's warmth left his body as the poison hit his central nervous system. The war was over now.
The solders came and went, taking what they wanted and leaving Prussia alone with the remains of his beloved brother. Alfred lowered his gun at the sight of the two of them in a cold embrace.
The American opened his mouth to speak but a mournful glance from the white-haired German killed his voice. "You've taken everything, now just leave us alone." Alfred frowned and sighed, saying "You know I can't do that, my orders were to take both of you alive."
Gilbert gave his sibling one last squeeze before lying him down and covering the body with a cream-colored sheet. Alfred took his hand and led the German passed the table when the latter paused to ask "Would you mind if we had a drink first? To celebrate the end of a dark era?" The blonde American watched him with a confused stare and Gilbert smiled, feeling nothing but hate for the ones that stole his brother away.
Years later Gilbert managed to take on Ludwig's name and lived on as a reborn Germany, still carrying that hate in his heart.
While he preached guilt and asked for forgiveness on his deceased sibling's behalf, the only thing he truly felt grief over was not seeing the light sooner. He felt like a veil had been lifted from his eyes.
Somehow in that final, incestuous kiss, the spark of madness passed from one sibling to the other and buried itself deep in his blood as a marching tune pounded in his chest.
Often, as the other nations would cringe in disgust or gasp in horror at the Nazi war machines while Gilbert gazed with a sense of wonder. The red gore and dark oil staining his hands became a thing of beauty to behold in his eyes, not an evil to be hid.
But, the German nation knew better than to say such things aloud for fear of destroying his perfect web of lies too soon.
His brother's empire was gone, but the ideas remained, and the German grew giddy as he pictured the new battle on the horizon. Soon…He thought…Soon everything will be just as you wanted brother, a perfect world for just the two of us…Just wait a little longer…
How mistaken he has once been, to believe Ludwig's acts of affection were cruelty! Gilbert held his brother's hand-written plans as a guide and added verses of his own. How simple it would be to start again…with new weapons…with new tactics…surely, they could get it right this time. A psychotic grin split his face.
And if not...They still had the next war.
…and the next…
…and the next…