Chapter Five

Buffy slouched on the couch, remote control in one hand, an ice pack in the other. She flipped through the channels, trying to find something to get her mind off the pain in her jaw. Landing on a local news channel she watched as the reporter told of a young boy killed. He was one of many of the deaths that occurred from loss of blood with nothing but two holes in his neck. Vampire. Buffy thought. Changing the channel, she stopped on a music video. The band was in a cemetery singing as three teens watched Vampires pulling themselves out of the ground. Annoyed, she shut the television off. What's with people and vampires? She asked herself. Dropping the remote on the coffee table she made her way to the kitchen for a new icepack.

"You're seriously gonna stop after one punch?"

Buffy turned around and saw Dawn standing there with her arms crossed. "I don't want to talk about this." Buffy said.

"He was right to do it, Buffy. Defense is the first thing you need to learn." Dawn went on.

"You seem to know all about this slayer shit. Why don't you be the slayer?" Buffy spat back.

"Because I'm not the chosen one. You are. Now except it, because you're not doing yourself any favors by trying to run away from it."

"I'm not running away from it. I'm walking." Buffy said, walking past Dawn.

"Buffy, I'm serious."

"So am I. I'm done being the slayer."

"You can never just stop being the slayer."

"I've known that for years." Buffy said looking out the window. "Believe me, I've tried getting away."

"What did you say?"

"What?" Buffy looked at Dawn.

"You said you've known for years."

"What are you talking about?"

"I have to go. We'll talk about this later." Dawn said and ran out of the apartment. Making her way to Angel's office, she pushed the door open and walked in. "She remembered."

Spike, Angel and Giles looked up. "What?"

"Buffy. We were fighting. I said something about how she's never going to stop being the slayer and she remembered."

"So she's back to normal?"

"No. She had no idea what we were talking about."

"Care to explain?" Angel said.

Dawn sighed. "We were fighting. I said that she's never not gonna be a slayer and she said that she's known that for years. That she's tried not being it. I never told her any of that."

"How could she know that for years if she just found out." Asked Angel.

"Her subconscious." Giles said. "It was her subconscious telling you that Dawn. Did she say anything else?"

"Just that she didn't want to be the slayer anymore."

"What if she knew?" Spike said, staring at the ground.

"Knew what?" said Dawn.

"About the blood. What if she knew what the blood would do to her?" Spike said looking at them.

"You think she touched the blood on purpose?" Giles said.

"I wouldn't put it past her." Dawn whispered.

"What do you mean, you wouldn't put it past her?" asked Angel, annoyed. Dawn looked up at Angel, Spike and Giles and sighed. "Time to tell us the truth Dawn. Did Buffy touch the blood on purpose?"

"She…she may have. I don't know."

"Why didn't you bloody tell us this before!" Spike shouted, causing everyone else to jump at his outburst.

"I didn't really think about it until now!" Dawn said. "Ever since the final battle she's been a shell of what she used to be. She would go out at dusk and wouldn't come back until dawn. I started getting worried about her so I followed her one night. She was fighting a vampire…"

"That's nothing strange." Angel said.

"She was beating him, Angel. I get that she's the slayer but it wasn't normal. She had him begging to be killed and she wouldn't do it. She just continued to beat him until he stopped moving and even then some. He never even tried fighting back. And the look on her face…"

"What about it?" Said Spike, getting nervous.

"It was so…I don't know. Just so…soulless. And she always said she was sore but she couldn't sit still and was always putting her head in her hands or closing her eyes. And every now and then she would have these random out bursts of anger."

"You should have brought her here when you saw that, Dawn." Angel said.

"I tried, but she refused and I didn't want to get her angry."

"You could have called. We would have gone there." Spike said.

"Look we're not going to know if she did it on purpose unless we can get her subconscious to talk again." Said Giles.

"How are we going to do that?" said Angel. Spike got out of his chair and started walking out of the office. "Where are you going?"

"To talk to Buffy."

Spike knocked on the apartment door. When he didn't get an answer he walked in. "Buffy?"

Not seeing her, he walked into the kitchen. Not finding her in there, he walked back into the living room. As he was heading down the hall, he caught a glimpse of her laying on the couch. He walked over to her, crouching down beside her. Running a hand through her hair, he cocked his head to one side and smiled when she moved into his touch. Her eyes fluttered open and a soft smile found its way on her face.

"Hey." She whispered.

Spike smiled. "Hey."

Buffy frowned. "I'm sorry about before. Just not used to being hit."

"You'll get used to it, luv."

"I don't want to get used to it."

"I know." Spike studied her for a moment before standing up. "You want to order some Chinese or something'?"

Buffy smiled. "I love Chinese."

"I'll go order some."

Once Spike was on the phone, Buffy sat up and looked over the back of the couch. She propped herself up on an elbow, holding her head in her hand and watched him. She smiled when she heard him trying to talk to the Chinese lady on the phone. She got a weird feeling as if this happened before and she found her smile getting bigger. When Spike hung up the phone, he turned and smiled when he saw Buffy watching him.

"Not polite to stare."

Buffy smiled. "Lets watch a movie." She said excitedly.

Spike smiled and walked over to her. Flopping down on the sofa next to her, he furrowed his brow when stood up. "Where are you goin', pet?"

"I wanna get something." She said and disappeared down the hall.

A few moments later, she returned, Spike's duster in hand. Spike chuckled as she fell onto the couch beside him, resting her head on his lap and covering herself in the duster. Smiling, Spike wrapped an arm around her shoulder so that his hand was on her waist. Buffy closed her eyes and snuggled further into the couch and closer to him. Spike flipped through the channels until they found a movie worth watching. Once the Chinese arrived, Buffy was curled up on his lap, with her head on his shoulder.

"Gotta get the door, luv." He said, smiling when she snuggled closer.

"Why?" she pouted. "I'm comfy."

"I realize that, pet. But don't you want your Chinese?"

Buffy jumped up and ran to the door. She pulled it open, smiling like an idiot. Taking the box and bags, she moved to the kitchen and left Spike to pay. Chuckling, he pulled out his wallet and paid for their food. Following Buffy to the kitchen, he smiled when she was bent over in front of the fridge looking for something to drink. Taking the box of food before she turned around, he went back to the couch and placed it on the coffee table.

"You stole my Chinese!" She said, jumping over the back of the couch and landing with an 'oof'.

"Prove it." He said through a mouth fool of rice.

Buffy elbowed him. "Don't talk with your mouth full."

When the movie was over, Spike got up to put away the left over Chinese. She watched him over the back of the couch again. When he was done he rubbed his hands on his legs. He looked at her, smiling.

"You alright, luv? Looks like you got something on your mind."

Buffy didn't say anything. When Spike raised an eyebrow, she got off the couch and walked over to him. Placing a hand on the back of his neck, she pulled him down, slamming her lips against his. Closing his eyes, he gripped her hips, pulling her against him. After what seemed like forever, they finally broke apart, breathing hard. Spike rested his forehead against hers and ran his hands up and down her arms. He licked his lips, opening his eyes and watched her trying to catch her breath, her eyes still closed.

"I guess you do have somethin' on your mind." Spike chuckled.

Buffy smiled and took his hand, pulling him down the hallway to her bedroom. Once there, Spike pushed her against the door, pressing himself against her. Taking her hands in his, he held them above her head and kissed her neck. Moaning, she tilted her head, giving him more access to the soft flesh. He kissed his way down her throat to her collarbone. Holding in a whimper when he bit lightly, she ground against him, desperate for his touch. Spike immediately understood and let go of her hands. Picking her up, he moved them to the bed, laying her down and kneeling between her legs. Leaning down, he slammed his lips against hers. Pulling at her shirt, he kissed down her neck and collarbone once more. Finally getting her shirt off, he kissed and bit the newly exposed skin.

Not wanting to wait anymore, Buffy began to pull at his clothes, neither one of them noticing the gold glow that began to form around them.