I HAVEN'T POSTED IN AGES! And I do believe this is my first Twilight fic. It starts with an excerpt from Eclipse… Enjoy!
For one brief, never-ending second, an entirely different path expanded behind the lids of my tear-wet eyes. As if I were looking through the filter of Jacob's thoughts, I could see exactly what I was going to give up, exactly what this new self-knowledge would not save me from losing. I could see Charlie and Renee mixed into a strange collage with Billy and Sam and La Push. I could see years passing, and meaning something as they passed, changing me. I could see the enormous red-brown wolf that I loved, always standing as protector if I needed him. For the tiniest fragment of that second, I saw the bobbing heads of two small, black-haired children, running away from me into the familiar forest. When they disappeared, they took the rest of the vision with them.
I couldn't let them get away.
My eyes flew open and I threw my hands against Jacob's chest and forced my face away from his. He growled angrily, trying to control himself before he could lose it.
"Jake…" I whispered. "Please don't go…" My voice trailed off and the tears began to fall all over again.
"God, Bells. What do you want me to do, huh? I can't …" He let go of me and I suddenly felt very broken and very cold. "…I can't just sit around here while all the fun is down there! I'm not going to sit around and watch you and your blood sucker – "
"STOP IT!" I yelled. I needed a minute, a quiet minute.
"Yeah, Yeah. I know. Cullen, I got it. God, I just…" he kept talking, yelling really, and pacing; but I didn't hear a single word. I ran my fingers through my hair, pulling at it. What am I going to do? I am madly in love with Edward, but my future! God, I can see it now, just as Rosalie had wanted for herself. Jacob and me…me and Jacob, sitting in rockers on our front porch – OLD! Children and grand children.
"Bella!"
My mind snapped back into focus and my eyes found the dark orbs that were Jacob's eyes.
"I can't do this. I'm going down to fight." He turned away and began to walk away from me. "Goodbye, Bells."
My whole world came crashing down.
"NO! Jacob! No." My legs finally willed themselves to move and I lurched forward without an ounce of grace. "Jake!" My hand grabbed his shoulder just before my face smashed into his beautifully sculpted back. He turned gruffly and I fell into his chest. "Please Jake. Don't go. Don't leave me." I mumbled with my hands on his warm, tan chest. Jacob slammed his eyes shut and balled up his fists at his sides. He didn't want to give in. "Please. Stay…" I let my tears fall and drip down my flushed cheeks to his chest. "I don't want to live without you." I kissed his chest where my tears had fallen, I couldn't look him in the eyes.
I felt him take in a sharp breath as my lips touched his flawless skin a second time. "Jake…Jacob…my Jacob." I muttered incoherently as tears fell and my index finger traced little shapes on his abdomen.
"Bella…" he sighed before taking me into his arms in a uniquely Jacob Black hug. He refused to look at me though. "Bella, honey, what do you want from me?" he huffed, trying to hold back tears himself. "Love me?" I asked, hoping his offer was still good. He pulled away again, making I that second time in minutes.
"You know I do! God you know I do! But what good does it do me?"he almost laughed. "Life time of servitude, remember?"
"Jake… please. I … love you." I said. "But not enough. I know, we've been through this. I got it, Bells." He smiled a little.
"Too much." I took a deep breath and stepped forward so there could only be about a foot between us. I could feel his heat even from a distance. His smoldering eyes only added to the heat I could feel from him. "Jacob Black…I want… I want a future with you." My words barely came out. But I could tell I was being understood.
Jacob leaped forward and picked me up to swing me around before setting me back down, a little to forcefully in the snow. His hands grabbed my cheeks and his soft pink lips pressed kisses all over my face. I didn't know exactly how we got here, but for the first time since moving to forks over a year ago, I felt at home.
"Honey, oh Bella, Honey!" He kissed me between each word before picking me up and crushing me to him. "Baby, I am going to make you the happiest woman in the world. I promise… on a box of conversation hearts." We both broke into huge smiles. "Oh, God…"He sighed burying his face in my messy hair.
For a moment my mind wandered away from the thoughts of his lips, his breath his chest – Instead I was distracted by a picture of two black haired children running into their father's arms. I was only brought out by the feeling of a tear that wasn't mine, on my cheek. "Jake?" I questioned. "Bells… we have a future!" He grinned from ear to ear, tears in his eyes.
And from that moment on, I knew the years would pass with meaning.