This is is, the final chapter. Part of me is relieved that I've made it here, part of me is really very sad that this particular journey is all over. It hasn't been an easy one to write, this fic. What with everything that's happened over the last several months. A great deal of research went into some of these chapters, though, and a great deal of agonising went into the end of this one. For months I thought I knew where I was going and exactly how I was going to end it. I've changed my mind a number of times on the way here and I finally settled with my first thought.
I do want to say a massive thank you to everyone who has read, everyone who alerted and favourited. Everyone who rec'd this fic elsewhere and finally to my reviewers who have given me the support I needed to complete this piece. It's been a journey that I couldn't have completed without you all.
Chapter Twenty-Three: Endings.
Hecate has to beg Gabriel to help her take his grace inside of her. It is not something that she can do for herself and there is no way that she can save him. Part of Kali's reincarnation ritual involves taking the forming essence of the one that she wishes to give new life into herself. To take all of Gabriel's grace within her, Hecate knows that she must first have a small part of him bound to her. A human soul is a fluttering warmth against the blood magic of a pagan god. The grace of an angel is a volcano. Even this small amount is an agony that she has never before known.
"I love you, Hecate, don't ask me to do this, don't ask me to hurt you."
Gabriel's words linger with her over the days as she fights to force her magic to accept the grace. They give her something to focus on and something to make her want to pull through the agony. He loves her and as his grace mixes with her magic she can feel that for herself. She can feel all his worry and concern. She can feel the distraction in him as he attempts to prepare for all eventualities and she can feel his relief when she is finally stood before him for the first time in too long.
"Are we ready?" She asks as she settles on his lap, bringing herself to him as close as she can without actually trying to climb inside of him. She does not want to be parted from him now, can feel every emotion that swirls within a grace that has learnt so much and can see every doubt that flashes through his mind. She can feel the love coming from him in waves and he does not need to say it.
Besides, with the way that things are going to have to be played over the coming weeks the utterance of the words would only weaken her resolve. They cannot afford for that to happen. Both of them will have to be strong, even when Hecate would rather curl into a ball than tell Gabriel to go.
Especially when she tells him that going to Kali will mean that they will say their goodbyes.
Both know that she does not mean it. Both know that she could no more be apart from him now than he can her, but this is important. Kali must believe that Loki is still devoted to her, still in love with her, if Gabriel is to get close enough to ensure that Kali and the others do not needlessly put themselves into a position which will get them slaughtered by Lucifer.
It is the waiting that is the hardest part, the waiting and the wondering if Gabriel will be successful or killed. If he succeeds in getting the Winchesters away Hecate does not know if she will kiss him or kill him herself. She does not know if she wants to know the things that he will have to have done to break the chains that Kali will have placed on the living vessels. A small part of her is terrified that he will have bedded her in his attempt to prevent events from taking a deadly turn.
She knows when Kali takes his blood, knows when she binds the body to her side. Whatever plan Gabriel had, whatever he was attempting, has failed and now all she can do is sit and wait for the outcome that is looking more and more inevitable. All she can do is wait for Lucifer to arrive. The fear of it is almost crippling and she knows that it is not just her own that she is experiencing. The sensations through the bond are more like vague ideas, notions that she can interpret the meaning of because she knows Gabriel so well. It is enough, however, to know that he loves her in the same way that she loves him. It is enough to know that even though she was never able to break the bond between them, the strengthening of it grew in a way that is natural and organic.
Their bond is the one that it meant to be, not the dark magic of Kali's tie to him.
Hecate is aware of the archangel's blade the instant that it pierces Gabriel's chest. She is aware of the grace that reaches for the tiny piece embedded within her as she races to the motel and to the side of her lover. Everything is bright agony and searing pain. Everything is the press of grace and the desperate clawing of her power as she tries to draw him into her. She knows that she is screaming and she cannot stop herself. She knows that she is racing into Lucifer's waiting arms and she will not back away.
She is aware of the tattered remains of grace that are tied to the vessel as the sword is twisted, she feels them shatter and explode as Gabriel shrieks within her. This is a pain that she should never have known. Unlike Gabriel, who is an incorporeal being of light and grace who took a vessel, Hecate is tied to her body. No matter the shifts in appearance that she can make, she is a physical being and there is no way to comfort the pain maddened creature that beats against the caged walls of her magic. If he is allowed to defeat her barriers he will destroy her, take over her body and wipe her very being from all of existence provided the destruction of part of his grace does not kill him first.
She is weakening and she does not have a lot of time.
Kali is stood over the body when Hecate finally gains enough control to approach it without losing herself to the archangel inside. The Destroyer's face is stricken, her dark eyes filled with tears. Hecate has everything that she needs to repair the vessel and transfer Gabriel back into it but if Kali continues to hold her lover's blood all of this will be for nothing.
"Give me the blood, Kali," she demands, her voice still strong though her steps falter. "Give it to me or I will tear it from you."
"Take it," the other goddess sneers, throwing the tiny bottle towards Hecate. "We both know which of us he cares for more now anyway." There is a dark insinuation in Kali's words, the implications that it was her that he came to and her that he saved from Lucifer's clutches.
Hecate does not let that moment of doubt show on her face, she simply gestures at the leg of a broken chair. Kali does not even see it coming as it implants itself deep into her rib cage, her mouth works and her eyes stare, but they are uncomprehending and Hecate's face is flat and cold.
The triple goddess kneels in the blood that pools under goddess and former angelic vessel, feels it soak through the thick fabric of her jeans as she pulls a pair of stoppered glass tubes from her shirt pocket. These are filled with the blood of the vessel and she lays them beside the body as she rips the shirt from it's chest.
Gabriel is starting to settle inside her now, the pulse of his grace a warm caress against her magic rather than a frantic tattoo of pain and fear but it is fading and he is dying. He is safe within her, for the moment, and though his presence burns and hurts, she can concentrate more on the ritual that she is about to perform and less on keeping him from destroying her. It gives her time to think about the symbols that she uses her fingers to paint onto the chest of the dead vessel, symbols in Kali's blood. This is not the way that it should be done. The blood of the mother should be from a living creature who will give birth to the reborn soul.
Hecate does not want to create a new body for Gabriel, she just wants to breathe life back into the one that he currently has and she has to work quickly. If Kali had not been present she would have used her own blood, opened one of her own veins though it would have weakened her hold on the archangel's dying grace. As it is she can use the presence of her former friend to her advantage, can use her strength to hold on to the grace that is beginning to flicker within her.
Gabriel, she knows, sacrificed himself for the Winchesters, sacrificed himself for Kali, and he will not be happy to wake and find that his former lover is dead. Hecate hopes that he will one day forgive her as she begins the chant to restore life to the vessel that has been broken and dying for far longer than any of the others has realised.
The blood of the vessel is poured into the gaping wound, her own drawn to join it as she reaches into the pool of magic that has been tied to angelic grace. This is the part of the ritual that will hurt her the most. This is the part where she takes of herself to bring him back and breathe true life into the grace that is still going dim as the archangel stops fighting against his end. It only makes Hecate cling to him tighter, only makes her fight the surge of weakness and exhaustion that floods her that much harder. She will not lose him and she refuses to lie down and die at his side.
Finally the body gasps, it's soulless eyes stare at the ceiling above them. The mind of the body is blank and uncomprehending. There are no memories here and nothing to tell it how to live, just the instinct of the brain making it breathe and the heart beat. She has to wait, now, until the magic has finished it's work and mended the damage caused by Lucifer. She has to wait until blood magic and grace has worked it's way around the vessel and she does not have long.
"You will not die on me," she hisses as she wrenches Gabriel from within her and forces the weakly pulsing archangel into his vessel once more. "I'm not going to let you." She opens another vein, coats her fingers in the thick blood that pours out of it and uses them to paint a series of final symbols over the now healed injury. "You are mine, Gabriel, and I do not give you permission to die!"
She screams the final incantation against the feeling of death that begins to fill the room, screams the words as she wills her lover to just continue to hold on for a little longer. Light pulses around her when she utters the final word, flashes so brilliantly that she is forced to look away from it. The gentle breaths of the vessel under her hands stutter and for a long moment there is nothing. A terrible coldness settles within her, warmed only by the tiny piece of her archangel that is inextricably bound to her. Fear clings to her heart and she opens tear filled eyes to stare down at the still body.
"No," she breathes, leaning so that she can bury her face in his chest. "No." Sobs wrack through her, violent shudders making her convulse as she weeps and whispers pleas to the unfeeling universe.
She is exhausted and has nothing more that she can give. Her reserves of magic are utterly depleted and it will take years for her to feel as strong again. All of it is gone, her magic, her strength, her friends, her lover. She has nothing and she can feel despair and madness beginning to take her for the first time as she has always feared it would.
"Hecate," the voice is soft, weak and uncomprehending. In her grief it does not register that he has spoken, does not register that the body she is clinging to so tightly is warm under her hands now; far warmer than it should be. "Hecate."
Stronger now, the voice says her name again. It is a voice roughened with screams and weak with exhaustion. It is a voice that she longs to hear and that she fears the loss of. Her name is uttered again and this time a hand touches her cheek, draws her attention away from the grief and towards the golden eyes over her lover.
"Gabriel," the relief that floods through her is like nothing that Hecate has ever known, causes more tears to fall as she kisses him. It is a kiss filled with need and desperation, one of relief and reassurance.
"I love you," he whispers.
"And I you," she responds. "We did it, Gabriel, we did it."
The plan succeeded, for the most part, and the Winchesters now have a workable course of action.
"Kali?" He asks after a moment, she glances behind her at the body and Gabriel follows her line of sight. "What did you do?"
"I didn't have time to argue with her," Hecate whispers, tears coming anew and shed for the friendship that was sacrificed without her ever knowing the real reasons. "I couldn't risk her interrupting, I couldn't let her interfere. It was always going to come to this one day and I'm sorry, Gabriel, I'm so sorry."
oOo
The slow death of Gabriel's grace has left him exhausted, the wounds made by Lucifer's sword and the explosive death of a part of him has left him so weak that he knows he may never regain his full strength.
Hecate sobs against him, weeps for the goddess who was once a friend. Part of him is numb, chilled by the seemingly casual way that Kali has been killed, part of him burns with anger directed at the goddess in his arms. Hecate had no right to simply slaughter Kali, no right to turn against one of their own in this way after all the death that has occurred this day. Yet he remembers what it was like to be held inside of her, to be utterly surrounded by Hecate's essence as she fought to save him.
Kali was not slaughtered out of vengeance or rage. Kali was killed in a crystal clear moment of necessity, when Hecate had been aware that to allow the other goddess to remain would mean the death of them both. They will need to talk about it, one day, when they are both recovered and the world is safe for another thousand years, but it is not something that they need to do now. For now all they need to do is go back to their safe house, for now all they need to do is rest and reassure one another that they are safe and well.
If he catches a glimpse of a half familiar face as they both leave the motel he does not mention it. If he feels the brief caress of love and the swelling of his grace within him until it becomes that which is once was he give no indication of it.
His Father works in mysterious ways, and whether Hecate brought him back or He did is not Gabriel's concern. His concern is entirely tied to the goddess that he holds close. His concern is that they do not waste a moment of the time that they have tried to give to the world.
"Hey, Hecate, how do you feel about kids?"
Her brilliant, if tired, smile is all the answer that he needs to see.
Fin.
I actually don't quite know what I'm going to do with myself now.
Artemis