Title: Two Thousand Years: Waking
Author: Sarai (aka Princess Emma)
Archive: Anywhere so long as I'm informed, FF.Net, and hopefully Azkaban's Lair
Summary: The morning after "Two Thousand Years: In a Heartbeat", Sirius does some thinking of his own.
Spoilers: PoA, again
Rating: PG, maybe PG-13, depending on how sensitive you are to implications... Probably PG-13 for safety's sake.
Disclaimer: No character belongs to me. I swear to put them back on the shelf when I'm done. And Billy Joel's lyrics are his; I just love them.
Originally posted: FF.Net
Notes: I was happy with my first Remus/Sirius fic, especially since I wrote it in one evening... The next morning I woke up and an hour later, while I was still half-asleep, this was done. I'm amazing myself... And very happy with these.
Warnings: Slash; Remus/Sirius. Some slightly un-subtle innuendoes. Nothing too scary... hopefully. :-)
Dedications: To my fellow Lady Marauders, Zoe, Aradia and Arnica because I love them. (And it's all their fault- which is only okay because Arnica gave me an evil Sith hood for this.)
Feedback: [email protected]




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And in the evening
After the fire and the light
One thing is certain: nothing can hold back the night
Time is relentless
And as the past disappears
We're on the verge of all things new
We are two thousand years.

~~ Billy Joel, "Two Thousand Years"

~~~~~~~~~~~~




I woke slowly, blinking in the dim sunlight filtering through the shades into the room. I shifted the weight on my hip a bit, smiling. My left arm lay at an odd angle, acting as a pillow for the pillow and I knew my shoulder would give me hell for it later. I didn't care. I simply smiled and buried my face further into Remus' hair, breathing in deeply the smell of citrus shampoo, underlayed by something wonderfully and uniquely Remus. My other arm was flung out, resting over his hip. I would have been happy to lay like that all day, me on my side, Remus on his stomach and both of us a tangle of sheets and limbs, spooned together and just... fitting.

Remus was facing the westward side of the room, so the sunrise behind me wouldn't bother him for some time- he'd always been a heavier sleeper than me anyhow. I didn't mind. Never had. It was always one of my favorite things, waking up with him beside me. It never ceased to amaze me how damn lucky I was to have him, this time around especially. So I breathed in that smell which was innately Remus and watched him sleep, feeling his stomach rise and fall beneath my arm with each breath he took.

'I love you,' I thought at him, kissing his hair. I loved him so much it was like a physical pain- that was one thing the dementors had never been able to take from me. They took everything else, though- his smile, his laugh, his smell. The way it felt to hold him in my arms. I was left with nothing, except the fear- the certainty- that he hated me, blamed me and believed what everyone was saying about me. And guilt. Guilt that I'd ever, *ever* suspected him for the least second. And a cold knowledge that I would never see him again, didn't deserve to. And I still loved him- never stopped- which made it all the worse.

And now... I didn't understand how it was I deserved any of this. We'd been through so much, come so far... and we still fit, like two puzzle pieces locked together. I loved him so much it was an ache deep in my chest and a knot in the pit of my stomach. I was so afraid that what we had would be stolen away from us again...

The nightmares were bad. Feeling of bone-deep cold and soul-deep despair that I couldn't bear to live with. How I'd survived 11 years of it, I'm not sure. Remus always knew when I dreamed. And knew what to do. Harry knew when I dreamed too. All he had to do was fix me with that gaze I remembered all too well- Lily had used it often- and he knew. He would smile sadly, or sigh, and hug me or just take my hand. Offering whatever he could offer. It was always almost enough. But it killed me how much these dreams hurt them, too. They were the most important things in my life, and I hated hurting them.

I forced myself back under control, loosening the vice-like grip I'd had on Remus for a moment. I felt him stir slightly and his breathing pattern caught and shifted. He woke, but took a moment before glancing over his shoulder at me with sleep-bleary eyes. He smiled and rolled over, slipping an arm under my waist and laying his head on my arm under the pillow. I lay the flat of my palm against the small of his back and smiled back at him.

He moved his hands along the sides of my rib cage, tickling without meaning to. His eyes bored into mine. "Are you all right?" he asked, his voice still thick and unused.

I couldn't help but smile. I kissed his forehead and trailed kisses down his nose to his mouth. Increasing the pressure of my hand against his back, I pulled him closer, ready to bust for joy and wonder at having him in my arms again. "Yes," I told him honestly when I let go, pulling away only far enough that our lips brushed as I spoke. "I am absolutely all right."

I felt him smile and wrap his arms more completely around me. "Good," he murmured. "I love you."

I kissed him again, answering without words. I didn't need them. I had him. A second chance... And that was all that mattered.