Blackberry Vine

Penelope Garcia was very satisfied with herself, sitting in the bistro down the street from the BAU and waiting for David Rossi. It was their once a week lunch date, which Dave kept even though he now had JJ living with him. Not that anyone talked about that, of course. And Garcia kept a very close eye on the rumor mill, so if anyone outside the team suspected that two of them were living together they would be the first to know.

And as a plus, when they exchanged information at the bistro, Dave always paid. What more could a tech ask for?

He came in, grinning ear to ear. Before he even sat down, she pounced.

"What? Tell tell tell tell!" she demanded.

He leaned down to chastely kiss her cheek and whisper in her ear. "Jennifer's going to kill me, she says."

Garcia gave him a look. "That's good?"

"Since in about eight months I'm going to be called 'Daddy', yeah."

Garcia shrieked and hugged Dave. "Awesome! Give her about twenty-four hours."

He sat down. "I will. She threw a stapler, two paperweights, and her cell phone at me."

"At the office?" Dave nodded.

Garcia thought. "Do you have paperwork past your eyeballs again?"

"Always."

JJ would sometimes help Dave file his past-due paperwork.

"Okay, here's your story. You asked for help with your paperwork again, and she has her own heavy workload, so she got mad and threw things at you. Stress-induced slamming."

"You could be our media coordinator. Maybe we should have you fill in for JJ on maternity leave."

"No, my furry friend, the camera does hate me. I blimp up on film."

"You do not. You are a woman with heavenly curves, and God forbid I suggest otherwise in front of Morgan. I value my life."

Garcia scoffed. "I tell JJ what her tantrum was about when we get back."

"Thank you, kitten. And how goes the rumor mill?"

Garcia filled him in on how, according to the mill, he was dating Emily and some floozy in the mail room, "But I sorted her, since she was spreading the rumors".

"I don't want to know," Dave declared over sandwiches and coffee.

She also added that apparently he and Hotch were either in a contest for Emily's affection, or Hotch was with JJ, but those rumors were in a harmless stage, so she wasn't concerned. The JJ and Hotch rumors had been swirling since JJ had joined the team.

Dave's brow knit, and he asked. "What about JJ being pregnant?"

Garcia waved the hand not holding onto her coffee. "As long as she doesn't say who, she'll be good. No law or policy compels her to name the father of her baby. And if Strauss does, believe you me I have the ammo to deal with the woman. Or rather, the ammo to give you to deal with the woman, since I can't look menacing if my life depended on it."

"I beg to differ. And if you ever quit the BAU, let me know. I need a handler, according to my publisher."

"You've got JJ on one side and me on the other. Chill."

"And now that we know all the jealously over Emily and who JJ is sleeping with, how about you? Seeing anybody?"

She gave him a look. "David Rossi, do I look like I have a hot man stashed away some place?" "Maybe. Is Morgan in your handbag?"

She smacked his arm. "Morgan is too sexy for me. He's got women all over him."

Dave leaned closer. "Between you, me, and the doorpost…"

"Yes?"

His voice dropped. "He told me, when we took Hotch out to get him to loosen up, that the only woman he wanted to go out with was you, but he was scared to ask you out."

"Bullshit," she accused. But her eyes were wide behind the glasses.

"Scout's honor," Dave promised.

"So, all I have to do is?"

"Two choices. One, I can try to convince Morgan to get over his irrational fear of being rejected by you and ask you out. Or the simpler solution."

"What's that?"

Dave leaned back. "You could ask him out."

Garcia's jaw dropped. "Rossi, I should let you get in trouble for getting JJ pregnant."

"I'm just saying, kitten. Think about it?"

"Only if you promise to work on Morgan while I think."

"Deal."

"Now," she sat up straighter, all business. "Tell me all about how JJ found out she was pregnant."

Author's Note: I couldn't help it. I had to write a sequel to 'The Lip Gloss War'. Review? Pretty please, chickadees?