Shattered Facade

"It's time for our final battle…"

Miria's voice is soft, but her eyes are burning with determination as we form a circle to make what I feel is going to be our last stand.

Time seems to stop in the frozen north, snowflakes freezing in mid air as I take a quick look around and realize only six of us are still standing. Deneve, Clare, Zelda, Miria, Cynthia and myself. Six out of the twenty-four-people task force assigned to Pieta.

Only the six of us against an army of awakened beings…

My heart aches for all the fallen comrades as I grip my claymore tighter, but there is no time for grief now, the beasts are almost on us, a seemingly endless sea of powerful bodies and cruel eyes.

The last single digit quickly gives us her last orders:

"Engage the strongest ones first, and try not to be singled out and surrounded!"

Out of the corner of my eye, I can see that Deneve is looking at me. I've been with her for so long that I just need to look into her eyes to know she means "be careful". Forcing my lips into a small grin, I nod towards her.

You be careful too…

The first attack unfreezes time as the closest awakened being jumps forward and takes a swipe at Miria, forcing her to phantom away.

"Break formation and attack, go!"

I take a deep breath and leap forward, targeting the strongest yoma energy in front of me.

The one with the horns…

Muscular and gigantic, even taller than the others, the awakened one turns towards me as I charge him, always keeping an eye out for other threats. Moving surprisingly fast for its bulk, it brutally brings its armored fists down in an attempt to crush me, forcing me to quickly roll out of the way. As my feet hit the snowy ground again, I use the momentum to slash at its forearm, making the monster reel in pain, and giving me time to regain my stance. Getting ready for another strike, I suddenly sense a new, smaller wave of yoma energy right behind me.

Oh hell! Another one?

I instinctively sidestep, feeling the attack disturb the cold air just above my shoulder, barely missing me. Without letting the weaker awakened one recover from its missed blow I swiftly slice the blade off, instantly realizing how critical my situation has become. I know that if I engage multiple awakened beings at once, I have no chance of winning, and I also know that this attack gave the strong one ample time to prepare its strike.

Muttering a curse, I turn back to my first opponent only to find myself looking into the eyes of death as a horrible clawed hand slices through the air towards my head. I close my eyes and, without even registering the pain, feel thick blood splash on my face.

"Helen!"

My heart pounding I wipe the blood away, realizing it isn't mine at the same time I see Cynthia standing next to me. Her claymore is dripping gore and bits of flesh while, behind her, the horned monster is helplessly clutching at his maimed right hand.

"Cynthia!"

Her body is covered in wounds, her once white uniform stained and torn, and her face shows exhaustion but also a strong resolve as she clears the frozen sweat and blood from her forehead and takes a defensive stance.

Using the time she bought us, I quickly ask:

"Where are the others?"

"I don't know… I lost sight of them when the awakened ones started swarming us, but I can still feel them!" Her voice is a bit frantic and I give her a quick pat on the shoulder to calm her down while trying to focus on the other warriors' energies.

Please Deneve, be careful.

As the wounded monster starts recovering, I assess the situation and try to come up with a strategy to bring it down once and for all. Planning is more Miria's specialty, but fighting with Cynthia the same way I fight alone would be idiotic and reckless, even for me.

"Cynthia, we've got to take that strong one down first. We'll use a coordinated attack: you take the low angle, go for the legs, and I'll try to find an opening to take his head!"

She nods at me and focuses her attention on the monster before us, but just as I'm about to leap forward, a scream rips through the freezing air, a raw sound of pain and terror which is suddenly cut short, along with one of the yoma energies.

That voice…

"Zelda!" Cynthia's exclamation is filled with grief and anger as she turns towards the source of the noise, her hands gripping her claymore so tight I can see her knuckles getting white. I can feel the sorrow and fury taking her over and making her forget what is in front of her for one second too many.

Apprehension suddenly washes over me in a powerful wave:

"Hey, don't let your guard down!"

But I'm too late. There is a blur, the sound of flesh being sliced and Cynthia's blood splashes on me as I shout her name. I can't do anything but watch in horror as she goes down without a cry. Everything slows down around me while her body hits the ground, the bright red of her fading life quickly mixing with the pure white she rests in, just one more fragile light extinguished in the snow of Pieta.

Fury and pain suddenly explode in my heart as I once again face alone the swarm of awakened beings:

"YOU! DAMN YOU! I'LL KILL YOU ALL!"

Hissing, I charge the horned one, dodging attacks from its smaller counterparts and targeting its already wounded arm. Feigning a strike on its left flank, I manage to duck under its incoming fist and roll forward, using all my strength to drive my claymore in the non armored spot of its elbow. The cold metal of the sword slides between the slightly disjointed organic plates, tearing in the soft flesh beneath until it exits on the other side. Jumping over the limb, I use the momentum and my weight to put leverage on my claymore, dislocating the joint and tearing off the forearm.

Drenched in the monster's blood I take advantage of its blinding pain and, using the shredded end of its upper arm as a step, drive my claymore right under its jaw. The awakened one's convulsions only serve to tear its own impaled throat to pieces as I kick off from its shoulder and, in one final motion, sever the head completely from the monster's body.

This is for Cynthia you bastard…

Landing in a crouched stance, I slowly stand up to face the rest of the horde, forcing the ghost of my usual defiant grin on my cold lips:

"Come on! Come on! I'll take you all with me! I'll…"

And then my heart stops.

NO!

Warriors can read yoma energy, that's how we can sense one another from afar. But they are unable to tell which specific warrior it comes from, only the intensity and direction of the energy. That's not completely true for me. There's an energy I learnt to recognize. One person whose little fluctuations, little patterns I know. And that energy just vanished.

Deneve!

I can feel all of my own energy being released, the snow blown away from my trembling body as I let out a primal scream, a sound of pure anger and fear echoing under the black sky of the frozen north. I suddenly no longer care about my wounds or the awakened beings around me, the only thing left is the cold fear of losing her, biting into my heart.

Everything is a blur around me as I run towards her last location, vaulting over destroyed walls and using my claymore to cut through any debris that would slow me down. My body operates purely on adrenaline, not feeling the countless bruises and scrapes it sustains during my frantic dash, the flowing out energy carrying droplets of my blood in the air.

Almost there…

My heart feels as if it's going to explode as I leap around a corner, only to find myself running into the razor sharp claws of yet another awakened one.

"DAMN YOU! OUT OF MY WAY!"

Unable to stop, I try to use my momentum to roll under the threat, but the beast is quicker and slashes viciously at me. Clenching my teeth, I instinctively bring my claymore up along my left side, my weak hand supporting the flat of my blade as it meets the incoming blow. The strong sword prevents the organic blades from sinking into my flesh, but the force of the attack knocks me off my feet and sends me crashing through a nearby door, a sharp pain suddenly flaring through my back as it hits a supporting beam of the miraculously still standing house.

Damn… it…

As I lay on the floor, struggling to breathe, I hear the entire structure screaming as it finally gives up and starts to collapse, pieces of wood and stone showering me.

Ignoring the pain in my back, I sorely get back on my feet and start limping toward the entrance. My vision is shaking as everything crumbles around me, dust blinding me and burning my throat.

Too late… I'm not going to make it…

As the whole thing comes down on me, the last image going through my mind is her strong, beautiful face.

Deneve…

Then I feel an agonizing pain in my head and everything goes dark.

ooo

Dark… the night has long ago enveloped me in its soothing shadow when the peaceful silence is suddenly pierced by a strangled cry.

"NO! Please! Not my sister!"

The plea jolts me out from my light sleep and I roll over, instinctively grasping for my sword. It takes me a few seconds to realize that there is no immediate threat, and that the only living being around is my new partner. The slender warrior is sobbing silently, her back turned on me.

Three days since we were partnered… Three nights, always the same nightmare. Sure, we all have one from time to time; after all most of us have their own burden to carry. But it seems this one can't let go of her ghosts …

I quietly sit back in my resting spot and break the silence:

"Hey, you ok?"

No answer. I glance at her and see that she wrapped her arms around herself and laid back down, her eyes closed…

I guess it's best to let her sleep. She'll need her strength tomorrow as we're almost in our target's contact zone.

Our mission is a standard yoma hunt for which handler's intel suggested only one, fairly weak target hiding amongst a small village's inhabitants. But that's provided you can trust those creeps in black, and I don't really do.

Still, it would be a good thing, considering my partner looks as if she's fresh out of training, and that I'm not much more experienced.

"Yeah, like things are ever that easy…" I mutter. "Ah what the hell, I'd better clear my mind and rest, tomorrow will be a hard day."

With one last look at my new partner's tear stricken face, I roll over and let myself sink into a dreamless sleep.

o

"WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?"

She's sitting on the ground, clutching at her bloodied arm. I can see the cut from where I am and it takes me a few seconds to register the fact that it's so deep I'm actually looking at her bone. Fortunately she's a defensive warrior, and I get a glimpse of the small crimson tendrils that are already trying to replace the lost flesh. Still this is a bad wound, and had I not jumped in at the last second, it would have been much worse.

"You IDIOT! You almost got yourself killed back there! What the hell happened?"

Finding the yoma had been really easy. Once discovered, it had tried to break contact by fleeing in the nearby woods, but its speed was no match for us. The fight had gone perfectly, like a well practiced exercise from back at the training grounds. My partner had shown good tracking and defensive skills, and I was pretty confident. One of my attacks had left the yoma completely open, giving her the perfect opportunity to land the finishing blow...

That's when it all went to hell. She just… stopped, hesitated. Instead of going in with her full strength, she held back in a semi defensive, semi offensive stance, as if she was reluctant to lower her guard, even for the fraction of a second it would have taken to kill the monster. And that hesitation was enough for the yoma to land a single attack on her before I could finish it. It went right through her shoulder armor and slashed her arm open, causing the deep wound she is now nursing.

"Hey, I'm talking to you! Are you even going to say anything?"

Her silence only serves to irritate me further, but I fight to keep my anger in check. Defensive warriors need concentration to heal their wounds, and she doesn't need to be yelled at right now. Instead, I grab our discarded gear and walk away to busy myself trying to fix her damaged shoulder pad.

I've been struggling for five minutes to get some fixations right when I hear a soft voice behind me.

"Thank you…"

Surprised, I turn around and meet her deep silver eyes.

"What?"

"I could have been killed by the next strike, and you saved me by finishing off the yoma. So thank you…"

Shrugging, I answer: "Don't mention it. We're in this together now, it's only normal to trust your partner to back you up."

I hand her the result of my struggle. "Here, the pad is sliced, but the straps are fixed… kind of. Anyway it's better than nothing and it should hold until our contact with the handler. I suggest we rest in the small clearing up ahead, what do you say?"

She nods and takes the armor, her fingers brushing lightly against mine in the process. The almost imperceptible contact makes me suddenly realize how good it feels to have the warmth of a comrade seeping in my lonely world, and I feel a slight smile making its way to my lips as she and I start walking towards our designated resting spot.

o

"Come on! Is that all you've got?" I try to work her up, hoping for her to get reckless and give me an opening, but my taunt shatters on the cold stone of her determined features as she once again parries my attack. Our blades lock together, bringing our faces so close that I can feel her breath caressing my cheek. Using all my strength I suddenly lunge forward in an attempt to overpower her but she reacts faster than expected and, using her blade to redirect my momentum, evade the attack while planting her knee in my stomach. The blow is hard, and I kneel over, struggling to catch my breath. Then I feel cold metal touching my neck...

"I win today"

No excitement in her words, no triumph, just a simple statement.

"Yeah yeah, you do, now help me up will you? You almost cut me in half with that damn kick of yours…" This time I see the corners of her mouth curling up ever so slightly.

So she CAN smile after all…

It's been a few weeks since our first mission together, and little by little I have learned about my new partner. I learned to look past her cold behavior and silence, and grew to appreciate her the way she was. But even though I learned to live with her, I still don't understand her.

Our daily training together taught me that she is good; she has the techniques and the strength to fight efficiently. But in every actual encounter with a live target, she showed the same hesitation, the same restraint, as if, deep inside, she was afraid to fight. Her nightmare still plagues her, and no matter how many times I try to get her to open up, she never does.

Shaking off those thoughts, I call to her:

"Hey, you ready to move? We still have a good distance to cover to get to our target, the sooner we get there, the sooner we finish the mission"

Readjusting her gear she gives me a small nod and we start the journey towards our next assignment.

o

Silence… the atmosphere is heavy as the dust finally settles down on our finished battle. The body of the yoma lies broken at my feet, staining the ground with crimson blood. I drop to my knees, cringing as my wounds send pain flaring up my body. Slowly I catch my breath, the whole combat flashing back in my mind.

Anger finally takes over, my fists clenching as I push myself on my feet and walk up to her.

She's breathing heavily, the back of her uniform torn and bloodied where the claws opened her skin.

I sit behind her, furiously grabbing her shoulder with one hand as the other slips under the stained uniform to assess the gravity of her wound. The sudden contact makes her grunt in annoyance and she tries to push me away.

"Leave me alone!"

But I'm really mad and hold my ground.

"You! You shut up and let me have a look at this, you understand me? Don't you even dare to try moving, you moron!"

"I don't need you to help me, I'm fine on my own!" She shoots back.

"The hell you are, you almost got wasted back there with your stupid hesitation, so shut the hell up, right now!"

She mutters something but stops moving long enough for me to find out that her wound isn't very deep and is already clotting. She should be able to regenerate the damaged area fairly easily. Letting out a relieved sigh I stand up and hold out my hand.

"Get up. NOW you're going to talk to me!"

Reluctantly, she allows herself to be pulled up, only to turn around and walk away. But this time I'm not letting her go that easily.

Quickly catching up with her I grab her arm and force her to meet my eyes.

"What's wrong with you? And don't try and ignore me as usual. This can't go on any longer. I thought you were dead back there."

I shiver, remembering the ice cold sensation in my stomach as I saw her going down.

"Why are you like this? I know you're strong! Why are you afraid to fight?"

Her voice is harsh as she replies, each one of her words hitting me as if it was a blow to the stomach: "That's none of your business, now leave me alone."

Taking a deep breath I force myself to keep my emotions in check, I know that yelling won't get me anywhere with her, but I have to make her understand.

"It IS my business. Did you even think about what I would do if you got killed? We're partners… we're… I don't want to be alone out here again. We can't go on like this. You have to talk to me… please."

Breaking eye contact, she turns around, but not fast enough to prevent me from catching a glimpse of her surprised expression.

The silence lasts for what feels like hours to me, the wind gently blowing in my hair as I contemplate her slender figure.

"I'm afraid to die"

Her voice is weak, so different from the calm, almost cold one I'm used to.

"Before… When I was a child… My family"

She takes a deep breath, and I can hear her voice breaking up as she goes on speaking.

"They died; they were killed by a yoma. It killed my parents, but my sister… She… She hid me under the bed; the yoma couldn't smell me because the corpses of my parents were on it."

She turns around to face me, and I can see the tears streaming down her face as she continues.

"I couldn't do anything, I had to watch him murder and eat my sister! I couldn't…"

Her silver eyes meet mine and I finally see the ghosts that haunt her every night.

"I was sent to the organization to become a warrior. But no matter how much I wanted to avenge my sister, I could never forget the way she was killed. I've always been afraid to die, that's why I became a defensive warrior, that's why I fight like this"

She pauses and looks down, her shoulders slumping.

"That's why I'm so worthless…"

Then the air is silent again. But I know now. And finally, as her words make the last barrier collapse, I can understand the person in front of me.

I take a step towards her and softly break the silence.

"Hey… look at me. You're not alone. I'm afraid of dying too. Every time I fight I'm afraid. You just lost faith in yourself because you thought you were the only one. And if you can't get your faith back alone, then I'll be there to help, I promise."

She doesn't answer. She just keeps looking down, tears silently falling. I grab her by the shoulders, bringing her closer to me and looking into her eyes as I speak:

"Come on. It's perfectly natural to always want to stay alive. We're only human, after all!"

And in this instant of clarity I can see the change inside her as she understands, and finally manages to put her ghosts to rest.

I know she will never forget, but I also know that from now on we'll be able to fight together, and help one another through the pain.

"We're in this together…"

Letting my heart take control I move closer and hug the other warrior tightly, caressing her short hair as I whisper her name:

"Deneve"

ooo

I wake up with a jolt, the memories still lingering in my mind as physical sensations slowly begin to make their way up to my brain, millions of needles reminding me that I have four limbs. I feel an overall numbness of the extremities, but a colder sensation in my hand indicates me that I'm still gripping my claymore.

I'm alive…

Slowly looking around me I realize that I'm lying under a flat wooden board that probably was a part of the ceiling. While it knocked me out cold, it also saved my life by shielding me from the majority of the debris when the structure collapsed.

Slowly crawling under the stone and wood I manage to reach the outer part of the destroyed house and, pushing away one last piece of rubble, find myself looking at the snowy deserted place that was Pieta.

The wind is still blowing, carrying countless snowflakes around me but I don't feel it, I don't feel anything. Nothing could have prepared me for what I'm looking at. They all lie in the destroyed city, fallen angels covered in crimson, looking so fragile, so innocent as the snow slowly falls on them.

The sun briefly pierces through the white whirlwind of ice and touches my face as I feel a wave of sadness and despair crashing on me.

It's morning… That morning we all hoped to see… How many? How many of us had to die for nothing?

I have no way of knowing. The aura suppressant Miria gave every warrior lasts a different amount of time based on each warrior's own physiology, and it prevents me from sensing any survivor, prevents me from sensing...

Deneve.

My body is heavy, it would be so easy to just lie down and let go, to drop back into the painless limbo of unconsciousness but I force myself to move. I have to find her; right now it's all that matters to me.

Come on, get up… GET UP!

But I can't, the numbness I felt after regaining consciousness is gone and, as soon as I push on my left leg, I feel a white hot flash of pain and fall back down. Still crawling, I prop myself up against what's left of a nearby wall and carefully rip off my uniform around the lower part of the injured limb.

Damn it, I don't have time for this…

The source of the intense pain is obvious: a wooden shard is embedded in my calf, piercing it through and through, flaps of muscle hanging out from the exit of the wound.

Just my luck...

Clenching my jaw I grip the apparent part of the shard and yank it out of my leg. The pain shoots through my mind but is quickly drowned by the feeling of urgency washing over me. Stuffing the torn flesh back inside the wound, I use the ripped part of my uniform as a makeshift bandage before once again attempting to stand up.

The wound still hurts like hell but I can walk. I take a look at my immediate surroundings; the town is completely destroyed, making orientation a nightmare, let alone finding a specific person.

Closing my eyes, I focus my senses as much as the pain allows me to, hoping to catch a glimpse of her pattern. But there's nothing, nothing but me and a suffocating sensation of loneliness.

Come on, where are you…

The only thing I can do is keep going in the same direction as before I was knocked out, towards her last known location, and hope for the best.

And the nightmare begins. I kneel over the body, she's a bit taller than Deneve, she seems younger too… So young, the frozen tears shed during this night still resting on her cheeks... My fingers desperately check for a pulse, a breath, anything… But there is nothing. Her face is relaxed, almost serene in death, the still open silver orbs looking right through me at something I'll never see. Resting her hands on her chest I softly close her eyes.

You can sleep now… You've earned your rest.

And I keep going. Seconds feel like hours as I contemplate their faces, each time finding nothing but death laughing at me, crushed lives, extinguished in a fight we couldn't win, mere expandable pawns in the organization's great plan. With every face I put to rest, every empty pair of eyes I close, it's another piece of myself I lose. Little pieces of myself I fought alongside with, now left to be forgotten by all but the eventual survivors of this battle. We might not have known one another for very long, but the war of the north created a bond that only the 24 of us could understand. We fought together, bled together, and knew that the surviving warriors would carry on the memories of the fallen.

Fear, exhaustion and grief start taking their toll on me. My vision begins to blur, the stab in my injured leg becoming more painful with every step I take. Every time I kneel, the fear that the next pair of eyes I would have to close could be hers becomes less controllable. More and more I find myself losing my balance and falling in the snow, blood beating against my temples, my claymore heavy in my hand. Every time I keep going.

Until that time I don't get up.

I'm sorry, I can't…

Oh you're sorry? This is your excuse? This is how it's going to end? You're giving up on her?

Shut up… Never…

Then get up! Get up you idiot, and if you have to die of exhaustion, then do it by her side, it's the only place you'll be able to rest. Or are you too weak to even do that?

I SAID…

"SHUT UP!"

The sound of my own voice jerks me back into reality, and in my resolve to find her I gather the strength to stand up once more.

That's it, keep moving…

Leaning on a piece of destroyed house I cast a quick look around…

That's when I see the claymores.

That symbol …

An icy sensation irradiates my chest, crushing my heart and lungs. It's her. She's lying on her back, eyes closed, her two swords resting near her limp hands. Forgetting about my injured leg I try to run at her side, only to fall on my knees after a few paces, grazing them in the process. But I don't care and, half limping half crawling, I keep moving as fast as my body allows me to.

"Deneve?" My voice is shaking. I touch her hand; she is cold, so cold… My fingers are numb, I can't find a pulse and I start to panic. This time I'm losing control, my fear completely taking over me.

No! No!

"Come on, wake up… You're not going to leave me…"

But there's no answer to my plea, and in that moment of complete despair I feel like a child, scared, lost and alone. My voice breaks up and for the first time since the beginning of the war, I feel my tears flowing.

"Please… don't go…"

All those things I've never told you, because I thought we would always be together, because I thought we had all the time in the world… How could I be so stupid... Now I'll never get to tell you… to tell you…

I want to scream, but only a whisper comes through between the sobs, all the energy suddenly drained from my voice.

"I need you."

I sit there for what feels like hours, head buried in her chest, my body shivering uncontrollably as I cry. Images of moments we shared flash in my mind, small pieces of memories I kept close to my heart. We always managed to come through together, she would always find the words…

You told me it would be all right. Those were your words, why did you lie to me? You said we would be all right…

"…all right... Shhhh, it's all right…"

When I hear the voice, I don't believe it. Maybe it's the exhaustion or maybe I've gone crazy from the grief... But the warm fingers caressing my hair, the slow movement of her chest as she breathes, it all feels so real…

Deneve?

I slowly raise my head, afraid that doing so will make all these sensations disappear, afraid to find out that it's just one last cruel joke played by my mind… And I find myself looking into her deep silver eyes.

"Hey there…" Her voice is weak but right now it feels like the most beautiful sound I've ever heard, and once again my tears flow, only this time they are tears of joy. Unable to speak, I embrace the other warrior, resting her head in my lap and just enjoying the feeling of her fingers on my cheek.

After a few minutes of comfortable silence she tilts her head so her eyes meet mine.

"Are you ok?"

I answer her through my tears, my voice barely audible:

"I thought I'd lost you…"

"Yeah… I'm sorry. It seems I don't respond too well to the aura suppressants…"

Then her lips curl into a small smile.

"But I couldn't die anyway; who would prevent you from making a fool of yourself if I wasn't there?"

I playfully tap her cheek, slightly grinning at her remark, then ask:

"Can you stand?"

"Yeah, I think so, I took a heavy blow to the head but I think my legs are fine"

She points at my injured limb.

"What about you?"

"It hurts, but I think I can try."

Slightly cringing, I push myself up. My leg is still wobbly, but the simple fact of having her by my side gives me a burst of energy as she helps me to stand.

"You'll be ok?"

"Yeah, I can walk, as long as I don't put too much weight on it."

Taking a few steps away from me, she retrieves her swords. Her face is back to her usual expression, focused and determined as she grabs her second claymore.

Slowly walking to her, I ask:

"Who was it?"

She stays silent for a few moments, then she answers, her voice tainted with sadness:

"Undine"

Another silence.

"She… reminded me of myself, of how I felt before…"

I don't have the words, so I place my hand on her shoulder, squeezing it gently. After a few seconds she slowly stands up.

"Come on, we should start searching for other survivors… and… we'll have to give the fallen the last honors…"

I sadly nod. This is just the beginning; we once again have a new fight ahead.

There's no time for feelings, right?

Everything is back to the way it was for the two of us, the calm silent warrior and her mischievous partner. So why do I feel so empty?

Idiot, didn't you learn anything? You're going to hide yourself again? Are you going to put on your "old friend" mask once again?

And I realize that I can't do that anymore. I've tried to deny the truth for too long, and that façade was shattered today when I saw her lying in the snow.

"Deneve!"

The plea in my voice stops her in her tracks and she turns around, a look of concern on her beautiful face.

"What is it? Your leg?"

"No… There's… There's something I need to tell you…"

She moves closer to me, putting her hands on my shoulders.

"What is it Helen? Tell me."

All my emotions, all the feelings I've denied for so long come crashing down on me, and I find myself unable to find the words to express them. I struggle for a few seconds, mouth open but unable to talk. Then my mind goes blank, I stop thinking and, closing the gap between our faces, press my lips against hers in a long awaited kiss.

Time stops in the destroyed city as I put everything I kept hidden in my heart into the timid kiss, feeling her warm lips part slightly under mine as I gently put my hand on her cheek.

Then, breaking the intimate contact, I bury my head in her neck and whisper:

"I love you."

And everything is once again silent. I close my eyes, afraid of her reaction, afraid that she will reject me. But I also know that it was the right thing to do. I needed to tell her.

Then I feel her hands on my back as she returns the embrace, and quietly answers.

"I love you too, Helen."

I don't know which emotion chokes me the most between shock and happiness as I look speechless into her eyes.

She smiles slightly and adds:

"Took you long enough though…"

The simple sentence makes me blush deeply.

"What? You mean… since when?"

She leans closer and whispers in my ear:

"You're not alone. I'm afraid of dying too. Every time I fight I'm afraid. You just lost faith in yourself because you thought you were the only one. And if you can't get your faith back alone, then I'll be there to help, I promise "

Leaning back she once again meets my eyes:

"On this day, I started seeing you differently. With time my feelings grew stronger. But I never found the way to tell you. Our life doesn't leave much time for feelings... Tell me, why did you wait for so long?"

Looking down, I explain:

"I was afraid you'd reject me. You always seemed so cold with the others, I thought I could be happy with things the way they were, be happy to be just a bit closer to you. I was afraid I'd ruin everything."

"Then we were both afraid…"

She takes a deep breath.

"Helen, I know I'm not the easiest person to be around with. Our existences aren't normal human ones, we are designed to fight. That's what we've been doing for most of our lives, and that's what we're condemned to do. I don't know if we can be happy. To endure the grief, to be able to go on, we buried our feelings deep inside of us. Maybe one day those shells won't be necessary to survive anymore, but we still have a long road to fight through. I don't know if we'll be able to rest and just be together or if we'll battle until we die or awaken. But I do know that, no matter what happens, you'll always be in my heart."

Then, closing her eyes, she slowly leans in until our lips meet once more. And in this instant of perfect intimacy I understand that what we show on the outside doesn't really matter, because whatever life throws at us, the place we have in each other's hearts will never disappear.

As we pull back I suddenly sense something. Somewhere in the destroyed town another small light just reappeared.

"Did you feel that?"

She answers softly:

"Yes, it looks like we're not the only survivors."

Sharing a small grin at the idea that another warrior is alive, we start making our way toward the little flame of energy. I know the road before us is paved with pain and hardships, and I have no certainty about our future. We'll have to carry the souls of the fallen until we can avenge them; this is our duty towards them. Existence will be even harder, living as ghosts, forced to hide.

But I'm not afraid; I know that with Deneve by my side, everything will be all right.

Because somehow, in a life of pain and grief, two supposed monsters, created for battle, are able to share something they were never supposed to feel.

Love

We're only human after all...