Truthfully, I had figured out the sash on my dress a few minutes before, but I stood at the end of the bed untying and tying it, giving him time to notice. Jasper refused to look up from the love-seat, pulling the cover tight in that compulsive way he of his.

"I don't mean to assume anything," I told him, "I just...wanted to know if you feel confident. Do you think you can be around Bella tonight, and, well, be yourself?"

For a moment, I thought this would force him to look up at me, but Jasper was absorbed in his weird project, walking around the furniture to look at it from different angles. I knew something was pricking at him, itching his fingers to the point where he cleaned and re-organized just to feel active. I assumed, since tonight was Bella's birthday party, his nerves were frayed from the promise of having blood in the house. I knew if he could only speak to her the way I had, Jasper would find it easier to distract himself. But the sick thing was, in order to get close enough to discern her personality, he would have to be physically close enough to smell her.

"Be myself," he repeated softly, scratching something invisible off the coffee table.

"I know it's hard. I can smell her too, you know."

He said nothing at this, seating himself on the apparently acceptable armchair and crossing one leg over the other. I thought of the sweaters he had laid out on the floor, and I remembered him asking which tie went with which belt.

Oh, darling, are you worried about looking normal? Do you still need to hide behind sweater vests, as if she doesn't know about us?

In the end, he had decided on slate grey dress shirt, which he had buttoned uncomfortably to the collar.

"I'm very proud of you, you know," I said gently, turning to face the mirror. "Can you do this for me?" I watched his reflection as he glanced up. I felt myself stand taller, wondering how my hair looked from behind, watching where his eyes fell. "Jasper?"

He stood slowly, staring at the small of my back with golden eyes, crossing the room silently. He said nothing until he was behind me, his gaze still floating between my shoulder blades. I knew what he could see in the fabric, because I had seen it too. That was one of my favorite parts of who we were, being able to hear the light hit each sequin, the tin-like glittery taste you got in your mouth when you zipped up a dress. I saw his the tip of his tongue protrude just a little, at the corner of his mouth, as he pulled the zipper slowly up. He paused, fastening the clasp at my neck.

"I've never found myself incapable of self-control. Everything is going to be fine, you're barely notice I'm there."

"Well that's not what I want..." I protested, but he was tracing one finger down my spine. His eyes flicked up to meet mine in the mirror. We gazed at each other for a silent moment, and I felt a soft kiss of heat on my inner thighs, like flames in the next room. "We have a deal, Jazz."

"I know," he said flatly, his voice sounding a little lower. But there it was again, a whisper of light over me. I wanted to feel violated, but he was pushing me away from those feelings quietly, as if he was holding my hand in the dark.

"I don't tell you my visions when they're about you, and you don't...do...this." My voice weakened as the sensation of falling became stronger. I struggled to find the will to break eye contact, but Jasper was guiding me in that crystalline way he had, sending me something between phrases and images. First, a series of sensations that made me visibly shiver, and then, clear as day, melancholy, longing, and rolling off my tongue came a phrase that he mouthed along with me, "It's been a while..."

"Alice, that's very insightful of you," he spoke quietly. That was the thing about Jasper, even when he was joking, he barely smiled.

"You made me say that, you're terrible!" I had meant to sound frustrated, but the words came out dripping in honey. I stifled a giggle, not sure if he was willing me to laugh or not. I supposed if the giggle was from him, I wouldn't have been able to control it.

"Would you like to try it like this?" Jasper asked. Although the inquiry itself was pretty chaste, I felt some kind of heat radiating from it, a red molten-iron request he wanted me to feel in the heart of me. "I can make you feel everything deeper, more acutely."

Jealousy flicked its forked tongue somewhere inside me, wondering who he had done this to before. The doubt was strong enough to finally pull my eyes away from his. He slowly draped his arms around me, and I leaned my back against his chest, still looking at the floor.

"I want to do this for you, Alice. If you don't...like it, we won't try again."

"Will I even have the choice to dislike it?"

"It'll be the same, but I'll enhance everything for you."

"Can we go slow?" I looked up at Jasper again and was surprised to see him smirking.

"You wouldn't be able to handle anything else."

Ah, a challenge. Two can play at that game, Jazz.

I stepped away, walking toward the red leather sofa, removing my high heels as I went.

"Okay, so I just clear my mind?" I asked, smiling sweetly at him as I perched myself on the arm of the sofa, folding my hands in my lap.

Jasper grinned at me, flipping his blond curls back in a smooth motion. "I'll show you what you're going to do," he laughed, striding over to me, suddenly energized. In two lunging steps, he was standing over me. In half a second he had crossed the room and parted my legs just enough to stand between them.

"Really slowly," I reminded him. "So I can say no if I want to. And if I -" I gasped, unable to finish. He was blowing softly just below my left ear, his breath cool on my skin. I closed my eyes, pressing my legs on either side of his thighs. All at once, I could feel how close his lips were to my skin. Jasper's desire hit me like a ton of bricks, as if he punched the gas pedal on a Ferrari and brought us both from zero to 90 in an instant.

As if he could read my thoughts, he whispered, "Baby, this is about ten percent of what I've got." I felt every syllable run over me like silk.

"If you come any closer, I think I'm going to faint..." That was I was able to get out. The whole room felt fuzzy.

"It feels almost like you're underwater," he began.

"...and I'm lighter, I can feel you kissing me almost, it's like mist..." I continued, realizing the truth before he even said it:

"This is what I feel all the time, Alice, when you're in the room."

I inhaled sharply, sensing a vibration in the rapture before his mouth was on me. He simply kissed my cheek the way he would in front of Carlisle and Esme, but it was only the beginning. Jasper left a trail of soft kisses to my ear. When he nibbled my earlobe gently, I felt a wave of pleasure like an electric shock. My hands shot the nape of his neck desperately as I tried to steady myself. I came sweetly, feeling like a bright spring morning.

"Alice..." he whispered in a voice so sweet it was almost cruel. He knew he had pushed me right to an orgasm with just his breath. I couldn't speak. Jasper placed a hand at the small of my back and gently pushed me onto my back. My dress poured over my bare legs, glinting in the soft lamplight. Jasper was over me in a moment, bracing himself on lean muscled arms. "More?" he asked, visibly pleased. I tried to nod, but an incredible heat pulsed from him and made me bite my lip to keep from crying out.

I stared into his kind eyes, realizing suddenly just how helpless I was. Now that I had given him the green light, there wasn't going to be any stopping him. I felt butterflies as I wondered briefly how this was going to end.

Is it possible to feel too good? Is he going to know when to stop?

"C'mere to me," Jasper muttered almost casually, placing a strong hand on each of my thighs and pulling me against him. I felt him through his black dress pants, but he pushed away the sensation before I could even enjoy it. "Nope, too fast, stay with me, I'm going to take care of you..." Jasper breathed, sliding his hands up my dress to rest on my hips. He sat back on the couch and pushed me away from him a little, positioning me carefully. Free from his influence for the moment, I folded my arms under my head, trying to look casual.

"What's wrong, getting bored?"

He either didn't get the joke, or didn't want to. Looking at me again, he said frankly, "I'm letting you rest."

"I don't want to rest," I retorted, sounding almost like a spoiled child.

"Are you sure?"

"I mean...you're talking yourself up a lot, here..." I smirked.

"Okay. I'll ask you again in a few minutes," he spoke icily, twisting my panties in his fingers and sliding them off me before I had a chance to speak. "Just...try to keep it down," Jasper warned me. I wanted to say something witty back, but his curly head of blonde hair was between my legs in an instant, and he was tracing my inner thighs with his tongue. I bucked my hips, gasping at the power of his will again. If his last move had taken me from zero to 90, I was tearing towards 150 now.

"Oh my god...Jazz...I..." I gasped between shivers that overtook my entire body. He murmured his recognition of my second orgasm into my right thigh, sending the vibration of his voice through me deliciously.

How stupid of me, to have thought I knew what it was to want. I didn't know what desire was yesterday, or a year ago, not until this second, Jasper's tongue -

And then he was petting me softly, with a beautiful rhythm that had my hips rocking in return. "You're so wet, Alice..." he said dreamily. I had just enough time to sigh before he slid two fingers inside me, creating a link between us that was all color and the taste of strawberries, and I could feel him inside me, I knew he had wanted me so long ago, the second he first saw me, and a feminine, gorgeous moan escaped from my mouth, a sound I couldn't even hear over the silver music of Jasper's lust.

"M-more..." I whispered, and he laughed softly. It was incredible beyond comprehension, a high so intense that I was instantly an addict, hoping selfishly with all of me that he was still taking it easy. "C-can you do it harder?" I begged. At this, Jasper moaned loud enough that it brought me back to reality. He realized how loud we were and tried to stifle himself by sinking his teeth into my white thigh.

"Jasper..." I began, and he nodded, still pressing his face into my leg, sliding his fingers sweetly out of me to play with my clit. If I had been able to think, I would have laughed out-loud at how lucky I was, to have Jasper who could run his thumb in small circles over my pleasure center without even looking.

Pulling away, but not meeting my eyes, he whispered, "The only way this is going to work is silently. I can't...handle you asking me that, it's too much. They're all going to hear us."

Through the pink fog Jasper was creating all around my consciousness, I still wanted to torture him back. "I understand," I replied quietly, piecing together something that would push him over the edge. If I was in heaven, I damn well wanted him there with me.

"Put your hand over your mouth if you have to," he said sternly, turning back to business. He slowed down on my clit and continued at a pace that brought tears to my eyes. I bit my lip tentatively, but then viciously as his perfect tongue replaced his fingers. It took every single bit of willpower I had to speak as Jasper sucked on my clit, dipping two fingers deep into me again. "I want you to fuck me," I said in a voice that was barely mine. He growled at my disobedience, retaliating with a finger that pulsated on my g-spot, but I wasn't finished. "I want to feel you hard in me, I want to feel you come..."

With lightning speed Jasper had me across the room with my back against the wall. He kissed me roughly, parting my lips with his tongue. Taking my small hand in his, he jerked my arm down, forcing me to grip what was impossibly and lusciously hard. All at once, I felt him feel my hand on him, and I wrapped my legs around him. I would never be able to get him close enough. I gripped Jasper's strong shoulders as he parted our mouths. He held my gaze and viciously ripped off his belt, whipping it across the room.

"Yes, I want all of you..." I whispered.

"You're not going anywhere tonight. I swear to you, Alice, you won't be able to stand when I'm done with you. I'm going to fill you up and rock you until you beg me to let you rest."

I buried my face in his neck, weak with happiness hearing him speak this way for the first time. I wanted him to talk to me forever, to hold me up against him and kiss me all over.

"How much do you want me, baby?" I could hear him smiling as he spoke.

"I've never wanted anything so much..." I murmured into the crook of his neck.

He took his cock in one hand and teased me, sliding the tip of himself against my wet lips slowly. He whispered softly into my ear as he tortured me, "I know how to make Alice happy, don't I? I know how to make you feel good..."

"Jasper, I love you so much," I gasped, pulling away to look at him again.

"I told you to be quiet, darling," he reminded me, smiling back. He gave me just a moment's interlude before sliding his length into me with one thrust. I whimpered at the incredible size of his cock. Tall and lanky and adorable; every part of Jasper was long.

"You like that, huh?" he whispered condescendingly, pulling out just to thrust somehow deeper into me. I could feel his cock slick and solid inside me. It was every glorious tryst of ours at once, multiplied over and over, and I wondered desperately why I hadn't begged for this before, for him to mold me and pull me along with him every night, feeling the way he wanted me to feel. Jasper found a rhythm that I mirrored, and between my every squeal of pleasure he sent me another flavor of bliss. Each alternating thrust was colored with his desire, his gratitude, Jasper's sense of entitlement, his desperate longing, his voracious hunger that he worked so hard to control for me, his childlike sense of wonder, his quiet vibrating need. I felt him as a young adolescent as he first discovered how to make himself come, I felt the peak of his satisfaction whenever I got down on my knees to lick and suck him, I felt him feverishly loving me into forever.

I dug my fingernails into his back as he hiked my dress up higher onto my waist and increased the speed of his thrusts with me, both of us breathing quickly. The endless walls of time we were to explore together collapsed on either side of us, and I was entirely aware of my body as it communicated with his. I came a third time, this time accompanied by Jasper, and then a fourth, fifth, and sixth time, each one more beautiful than the last. He slid out of me slowly, concentrating furiously on sending me sensations, and even his cock leaving me caused me to cry out in pleasure.

I thought for a moment that it was finally over, his rapturous and perfect exploration of me, but Jasper tore the top of my dress into two, groaning deep in his throat before lowering his perfect mouth to my breasts. Tearing my party dress in a perfectly seam as he went, Jasper traced a loving line of kisses down my flat stomach and returned his tongue gratefully to my clit. I came again, not aware that I was calling his name over and over, crying in disbelief at my ignorance. All that time wasted, not knowing how much he wanted me, how much he would always want me.

I felt all of my own emotions, everything he had ever felt, and something gorgeous and soft in between us, something shared that didn't have a name.