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Moving Pictures

Chapter 10 – Yellow doors

By Memphizz

She felt his weight press down against her as he began to lie on top of her.

His moist lips caressed hers whilst she tangled her fingers into his golden man.

Trying to hold back all the overwhelming feelings, tears ran down her face. An array of emotion took over her.

She tasted what she could not keep.

He was there to catch.

The one to save her.

'Please.'

'We don't have to.'

'I know.'

He buried his face into her neck.

'I love you.'

"Sora-chan!"

The redhead quickly snapped out of her reverie and found herself seated at her study desk. "Huh…what?"

"Welcome back," Ayumi said nonchalantly, flopping onto Sora's bed. "How was it building castles in the sky?"

She ran her fingers through her long tresses in frustration. I'm losing it. Her mental inefficiency certainly needed room for improvement and soon too, to avoid further moments of awkwardness….not like it was a rare event. "Shit, sorry Ayumi, I jus-"

"Don't worry about it," the blonde interrupted abruptly. "I'm getting used to your frequent blackouts. I've accepted it as an Odiaba thing that you have."

"Ummm…thanks, I guess," Sora mumbled, toying with her headphones looped around her neck. Get your shit together, Sora.

"And?"

A grimaced appeared on Sora's face, a sign of her genuine perplexity. "And what?"

"You are coming, right?"

"Huh?"

"Don't tell me you forgot already," Ayumi rolled her hazel brown eyes to the ceiling. She found her friend's poor memory exasperating which only provided a low opinion of her mental stability. "Remember I told you that my cousin Takao is coming down from Tokyo for the weekend, and he's bringing a friend with, who may I add, is hot and apparently single. And I told him we are meeting them down at the club tonight, and when I mean 'we', I mean you and me."

"Shit," Sora swore. "I totally forgot."

"No surprise," Ayumi huffed, inspecting her manicure. "So you're coming?"

Sora could only offer an unpromising look. "I don't know, Ayumi-chan. This paper is due on Monday morning and I'm really trying to make a good impression this time…unlike last time," she bowed her head in shame. Unfortunately, her last grade was still imprinted in her mind, which she accepted as her own personal torture chamber within her head, among other things.

"Sora-chan, how old are you?"

Leaning back in her chair, Sora gave a short 'hmmm'. "A rhetorical question, I wonder how I should processed," she responded flippantly with a smile spread across her face.

"With caution," Ayumi warned, unimpressed by Sora's impudent tone.

"I'm twenty," Sora sighed, giving in.

"Exactly," Ayumi exclaimed, throwing her hands in the air. "You're supposed to be living life to the fullest, living free, forgetting life's predicaments and getting laid once in awhile!"

"Yeah, I guess," Sora shrugged, expressing reluctance.

"You guess! It's a fact, shit its reality…you're coming with me and that's final."

Sora sneered, "K mom."

Ignoring her roommate's derision, Ayumi sat up from the bed and made her way to the room's door. "Get ready, because we're leaving soon," she shut the door hastily.

The redhead let a sigh escape her lips. It appears that her freedom of choice had conveniently been confiscated by her only so-called friend without a choice. Oh why, oh why, she asked herself, but to be expected, the repetitive question will remain unanswered. Like herself, Ayumi was stubborn like an ass, overflowing with diligence and perseverance which of usually obstructed her pleasantness. Born with a shiny silver spoon in her mouth, the gorgeous blonde was accustomed to getting her way all the time. She felt like Ayumi governed her life…maybe she did and going with the flow was the only choice she had and that made sense at this present moment. Follow like a mindless sheep…

The late afternoon rays spilled into the dorm room like heaven split open, highlighting her youthful features and a sense of calm surrounded the lone female. Relaxing her shoulders, she browsed her neat room without purpose and for once, she allowed herself to be absorbed by her thoughts and speculation. Is this what she wanted…this life? Maybe…or maybe not. She felt so undecided about her own existence, as if surety failed to exist or to be a part of her being. Nothing was certain, she learnt that. How unfortunate it was be out of control with all, not understanding meaning or purpose anymore. Constantly, she questioned the complexity of life and why simplicity was just an empty thought, and that in reality she yearned for it terribly. What did she really want? She wanted everything to go back to normal again, the way things were before she left…before her mother died.

Change.

An ugly word, she loathed. It fills hearts with pain and resentment that clings to the soul like a cancer, devouring your joy and happiness. The void she felt inside dominated her with cynicism and stealing away her jubilance and merriment. She lost everything she cared so much for; her mother, her friends and…him. The feeling of deception fed her growing anger, but she knew she would not secure anything if she continued to dwell on the past. Too much had happened for her to reflect on something that has come and gone. It was time to live in the present and time to learn to forget…no matter how hard it was.

Giving a sigh, she rose from her seated position and forced her reluctant feet to make strides towards her wardrobe. It was not like she did not want to go out tonight and escape reality for an undisclosed amount of time. Waking up the next day feeling like death was the only solution for ending the discomfort and pain, was not exactly an event she looked forwarded to experiencing. Feeling disheartened by reluctance, her irritation with herself surfaced like a concealed secret, but soon was impended by the brighter side and her positive thinking took over. Maybe tonight was just what she needed to forget, even if it would be brief. Surrendering herself to optimism, she opened her wardrobe and scanned the well-organized space.

Ok, now that I've sort of figured out my so-called life for the meantime…what to wear?

"Give me another one Miki."

The barmen arched a brow. "I see we're trying to set a new record."

Seated by the bar, Sora unleashed a miffed look to the tall male. "I asked for another drink, not your smart-ass commentary."

He chuckled. "One of those nights," he asked as he poured the requested tequila into a shot glass.

"No," she retort. "Can't I indulge once and awhile?"

Miki slid the filled glass to the Sora. "Well, your indulgence seems to occur every weekend," he perceived.

His observation was rewarded with rolling ruby eyes. "I do predict a point in the near future."

"The point is that too much of a good thing can sometimes be a bad thing."

She swigged the liquid down without delay. The burning sensation was welcoming and satisfying. "That's deep shit, Miki. Deep, very deep."

He could only shake his head and be somewhat be amused by the redhead's naïveté, one of her most damages qualities. He grasped the realization that attempting to create a shift in her perception was a fruitless venture and if she wanted to change, she would allow it. "I have by moments", he shrugged and a grin appeared on his face.

"And they bore me," she remarked rather snootily.

"I guess so," he replied nonchalantly, detached by her comment.

Her callous eyes softened and her rosy lips curved to enhance a small smile on her features. Their banters offered her a resolution of genuine bliss and entertainment, something that is almost alien to her now like a happy remembrance. Miki's company was always valued by redhead, his wit helped suppress the memories of her life she once had back in Odiaba. Maybe the cause for her frequent visitations was in fact Miki himself, but naturally she will never admit to it.

A single drop of perspiration trailed from her right temple to the edge of her mouth, resultant a saline taste. The club was hot, overflowing with dancing figures, their movement controlled by the high base and energetic beat. The mass of shifting lights painted the darkness with colors of greens, reds and blue. The air was stained with the familiar smog of cigarette smoke loomed the bar area like its regular patrons, settling in to its usual surroundings, undisturbed by others who needn't notice their existence. The music failed to induce Sora to the dance floor, her mood was listless and indolent. Such a waste she thought, the fusion of trance and house engulfed the club with vindictive desire.

Miki inquired coolly, "so where's your other-half?"

"Your guess is good as mine," she sighed.

"Some things never change."

Sora's dubious look was exchanged for a serious one. "We were supposed to meet her cousin, Takao and some friend of his here tonight. Don't ask me why she dragged me along with her, but the minute we arrive she does a vanishing act and here I am, downing shooters at a record pace and conversing in a meaningless and hollow conversation with a tall handsome bartender, were I could be doing much more productive and useful stuff right know…whatever, I don't care, I really don't," she rattled on.

A blank look surfaced on Miki's masculine face as his brain attempted to register all the words that spewed from the petite girl's mouth. "Okay, firstly, thank you," he smirked.

"Stroking your ego is my pleasure."

"Secondly, the tequila is making you ramble about nonsense again and that makes my brain hurt, so…ouch."

"Geez, sorry," she apologized halfheartedly. "And thirdly?"

"No thirdly, just 'thank you' and 'ouch'," he replied and his gaze hardened. "By the sound of your apathetic tone it seems that you're not keen on the idea of meeting her cousin and his friend…shame on you Sora."

"It's not that," she defended. "It's just that every time she introduces me to one of her relative's friends she always tries to hook me up the guy and tonight will be no different, so sorry if I don't emit enthusiasm."

"Now what is so bad about that? Ayumi is just concerned about your wellbeing, you do look very lonely," he teased, trying not to expose a roguish smile.

"Ha ha, funny," she pouted. "I'm comfortable with my loneliness thank you very much. It expresses my individuality, independence and rebellions to society's expectations that are not my own, my self-sufficiency is certainly my best feature."

"Wow, there were a lot of big words in that sentence. I guess under that pretty exterior of yours lies a clever…knowledgeable…insightful, but misguided girl with no boyfriend."

"Awww…poor me."

"I know, it's very sad."

"Whatever," she tittered, her rosy lips titled into a smirk. "If I was associating myself someone else, you would miss my company and my alcoholism."

"True," he agreed, his display of sarcastic demeanor was absent. "Your presence does provoke humor and lightheartedness."

"Told you, I'm fabulous," she batted her eyelashes.

"Yes you are," agreed a familiar feminine voice.

Instantly disguising the voice that came from behind her, Sora gave a look of cynical approval to the barmen, testimony of her discontentment. Her jaw tightened, she turned to face her friend, simultaneously staging a look of delight, her moroseness hidden from sight. "There you are Ayumi, I was wondering where you were. I was getting worried."

Miki rolled his eyes, undeceived by Sora's fraudulent solicitousness, but necessary to avoid the darker side of Ayumi's supposed vivacious personality. No sane individual would dare to cross that path of wrath and fury, not even himself.

"Oh, you know me, just looking for…potential," the blonde said, promoting a devilishly grin.

"And?"

"Well," she briefly scanned the club, her orbs reflecting lust. "There's plenty of potential here to go around. It's like being in candy store."

"Or a coke store," Sora muttered under her breath, concealing a snicker.

"Uh…what?"

"Oh nothing," a sheepishly grin sprung from Sora's features, feeling rather grateful for her friends lack of attentive skills. "So now that you're done with your wayward quest to seduce the male species, let's go home. I'm so over tonight it should be banned."

"You're crazy," Ayumi said tersely with a chuckle. "The night has only begun and my cousin is here now and I want you to come say hello."

Shit

"My bad, I forgot about that."

"I know you did, you're predictable. That's why I love you and cope with you."

Geez thanks.

"What would I do without you?"

"Most likely you would be a loser without any hopes and dreams," Ayumi replied bluntly.

Sora rolled her cinnamon eyes; she was a constant victim to Ayumi's irreversible frankness, but it never brought her down or challenged her to stoop to Ayumi's level. It's not like her self-esteem could take anymore hammering from the people of the world. "I guess you're right as always, Ayumi."

A proud beam engulfed her face. "Of course I am, silly. Now, enough with this pointless conversation, I want you, Osaka's most eligible bachelorettes, to meet Takao's very cute and single friend."

"Is that a fact?"

"Oh yes," she confirmed. "Although I must admit I was tempered to dazzle him with my charm, but I did think of you, my dearest friend and roommate, first before my desires. So I'll let you have him and only because you look desperate and lonely."

There's that word again

"Am I that transparent," sarcasm streamed from Sora's mouth.

"You're procrastinating."

"Yeah I guess, but I'm trying to save myself from your soon-to-be failed attempt of match making."

"I seriously doubt it," Ayumi contested, she snatched Sora's hand, pulling her into the throng. "Come on, let's go."

Sora gave a deep sigh of surrender. "Let's do this."

"Takao," Ayumi yelled over the boisterous music. She waved her arm, trying to seize her cousin's attention as she pulled the reluctant female from behind her.

"Fuck it," growled Sora under her breath, she dipped her head, shaking it with regret. Why did these inconvenient and awkward endeavors always happen to her she thought to herself. All she wanted was an ordinary life here in Osaka without involving herself in an emotional relationship with someone she would end up inadvertently hurting or even deceiving. Misfortune followed her like a shadow, something, not matter how hard she tried to run from, she could not avoid it.

However, her curiosity overpowered her pessimistic nature and she focused your eyes as she tried to spot Takao and to identify his unidentified friend. Unfortunately the flashing strobe lights and the mass of swaying arms hindered her view. She could somewhat make out Takao by the stage near the back of the club, sucking on a cancer stick, presenting detachments from his surroundings. She had made his acquaintance several months ago when came down from Tokyo for a potential record deal which regrettable did not evolve into a lifestyle of fame and fortunate. The singer, song-writer was like many musicians, seeking an auspicious life of touring, adoring fan and endless nights of binge drinking and sex; a dream job. No qualm had surfaced about his talent, Sora would corroborate that since she had witness his tenor voice and the way his fingers seducing the guitar strings like a puppeteer. It was too bad that his attitude did not complement his aptitude. Sora always thought that if one thinks of himself or herself as a god and others as commoners, that individual should be shot.

Or hung

She quickly scoffed the wry thought. As she got nearer to the stage, she could make out a second male form standing next to Takao with his back facing her. He stood tall and still as if he was a statue, emanating the familiar cold feeling of isolation and loneliness. He wore a black leather jacket and blue denim jeans. The luminescence light rested upon his thick mane of blond hair like a golden halo that turned into a lure, the young redhead its new victim. How she wished he would turn around, exposing his features to her and maybe show-off a smile at her. Snapping out of her daze, Sora darted her eyes to his hands and a small frown flickered on her face. His hands seemed so familiar, but why? Why did they? The nagging question swarmed her mind intently, drugging her mind with confusion.

"Hey there," the voice of Ayumi pierced Sora's thoughts. She looked up at the 6.4" Takao, making eye contact with a brunette as he pushed his rimless glasses to the bridge of his nose.

"Hey," he greeted, taking a drag of his cigarette.

Sore replied with a simple 'Hi'.

"What's happening?"

"Nothing much," Ayumi answered, throwing her arm around her friends shoulder, pulling her closer. "I thought I would introduce your charming friend to my very single friend here."

Suddenly feeling that this situation had shaped an awkward upheaval, a lump started to develop in Sora's throat. She looked at Ayumi, her face sparked discomfort. "Ayumi-"

Cutting short her friend's plea, the blonde directed her attention to other blond. "I hope I'm saying this right…Ya-ma-to."

That name…

She knew that name.

Upon hearing his name, the male turned and instantly his azure eyes locked onto the woman beside Ayumi and stared with complete bemusement. "Sora?"

She froze.

A host of emotions flashed across her face, her cheeks were wan and her eyes clear. In an instant moment, there he was, in her space, in her life again. She could feel her heart rate increase rapidly, she felt like she was in drowning in pool of disorder and chaos, unsure what to do or say. A sense of entrapment clutched her as she gazed into his eyes. His eyes…they still haunted her like the memory of her former happiness. She could not escape them. A sudden uproar of unanswered question immigrated into her head. What was he doing here? Why was he here? Why was this happening now? Why?

Why?

"Hold up! You guys know each other," Ayumi stepped away, surprised.

"I can't," she shuddered and spun around and started to pace towards the exit doors, instantaneously walked into the flood of dancing bodies. Vigorously, she tried to squeeze between the sweating figures, searching for the red glowing exit sign that loomed over the familiar yellow doors. A blend of anxiety and frustration started to set in as she desperately needed to flee from this torment. She urged herself not to look, afraid that he might be right behind her. Her breathing became deeper and heavier, panic raided her senses.

Her world come tumbling down.

Eventually breaking free from the shifting crowd, she stumbled through the doors and the bitter cold assaulted the warmth of the skin. She quickly wrapped her bare arms around herself as she ambled down the street. The street light beat down on her face with neon intensity causing her eyes to squint. The empty streets yielded an eerie silence and soon that dark silence was filled with the sounds of pacing footsteps trailing behind her and the faint echoes of her name being bellowed. She started to take swifter strides.

She could feel his presences ever closer and closer.

This isn't happening…not now.

"Sora!"

Please, no God…not now!

"Sora!"

Please!

"Sora, wait!"

No!

A firm hand gripped her arm, tugging her backwards into his space. Their eyes reunited under the moon light.

He blinked. "It is you."

"Let me go, Yamato," Sora pleaded.

"H-how, wha-"

"Please let go."

"What are doing here," he interrogated. "Is this where you've been the whole time?"

"Please Yamato, don't do this."

"Answer my question, Sora," he raised his voice and asked again. "Have you been here in Osaka these pass two years?"

"Yes," she admitted her eyes sparked guilt. She could feel his eyes piercing directly at her.

"Bu-but why," perplexity overshadowed his composure. "I don't understand. I'm really trying to rattle my brain around his, one day you showed up at my place and next day you disappear. No reason why...no phone call…not even a goodbye."

Her eyes were fixed at the tip of her high heels, finding the best explanation for her unforeseen actions that had evidently cause hurt to the one person she would admit that she loved with all her heart. She caught a glimpse of her reflection in a puddle of water, and what she saw she was a person that brought pain to those who were close to her. She could not blame the constructs of society or even life, she could only blame herself. How could she be so inconsiderate? "I'm sorry."

"What happened to you? The year before you left you changed so much, you became so distant and reserved. I could see you were hurting inside so much and you didn't want to talk to me about it. We could talk about anything, Sora…it was like all of a sudden you were a different person."

"I'm sorry, what more do you want from me," she yelled.

"I gave you everything. I gave you my heart, my soul, my love!" he spat back.

"Then why do I feel like this," she asked. "Because all I feel is pain and hate, feeling like my world is just a place where hurt is my only refuge."

"It doesn't have to be like that," he yelled at her in frustration. "I was only there for you. It's just that you changed so much over the year, I didn't know how to handle it."

She wiped away her tears from her sad face. "You changed too," she whispered.

"Only because you did."

"We all changed."

His grip on her arm gave way. "But the thing I don't understand is why, Sora? Why did you change so much? Wh-"

"My mother was diagnosed with breast cancer," she suddenly shouted out, her voice echoed though the empty and solitary street. The questions had become overbearing. "The day that she phoned me at your place wanting to speak to me, that was the day she came back from the doctor. That was the day she told me that she had cancer and that she might only have a year to live."

His gaze softened. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know," she answered truthfully as tried to hold back her whimpers. "I was so overwhelmed and so scared at the probability that I would live in a world without my mother…I guess I didn't want you concerning yourself with my problems, that wouldn't have been fair on you."

"I don't care, you could have come to me, and you knew that."

"I know."

"And that day you came to my house, it was raining hard and you had being crying," he recollected, every detail still entrenched in his mind. "That was the day that she died, wasn't it?"

She nodded.

"Why did you leave without saying anything to me?"

"I-I," she trembled, unsure how she should respond. Why was it so hard? He deserved nothing but the truth; she owed him that much. "I just couldn't handle it anymore, it was too much. The pain became too much for me to bear and I had be somewhere else, away from everything. I was confused…I didn't know to do…I wasn't thinking straight and I just ran….I just ran."

Silence fell over the pair.

The winter moonlight engulfed the two lone figures in a blanked of laminate blue, the dark sky lit by the lurid scarlet of the electric stars above them.

"So you think this is going to solve everything? You think running away will solve anything and make the pain go away," asked harshly, waiting for her responds.

Her tear-filled eyes gazed down at the tarnished cement ground. "You didn't lose anything."

Her desolate tone caused his callous demeanor diminished and looked at her with love and yearning. He just wanted to take her into his arms and steal her pain away and bring back her smile.

"I lost you."

She was silent.

"Sometimes we must be Hurt in order to Grow,
Sometimes we must Fail in order to Know,
Sometimes we must Lose in order to Gain,
Because some lessons in life are best learned through
Pain..."

"…"

"That's what you always said…isn't it?"

"I hate that," she said bitterly, the words spawned anger and resentment in the redhead. "I wish I never said that, it doesn't make any sense."

"You don't really mean that."

"Actually, I do. I never grew, I never learned anything and I certainly didn't gain anything. I only achieved sorrow."

"Sora, I-"

"No," she cut in abruptly. "I don't want your sympathy, okay. I…I just need to be alone."

With haste, he snatched her arm before he could lose her again. "That's the last thing you need and this time I'm not going to let get away."

"No, you let me go now," she counterattacked, trying to tug away.

"Don't do this, Sora. Don't push me away."

"I never asked you to be here…I don't need you, okay. Don't you get it, just leave me alone…let go," she shouted.

Unaware she was in the middle of the road, she managing to secure her freedom from his hold and spun around only to be ambushed by a white blinding light.

And then…the sound of shrieking brakes…

Song Playing – 'Stanger in a strange land' by 30 Seconds to Mars

A/N: Heya! *wave*. Geez, it has been awhile hey! Sorry about that, life has been just been crazy hectic, but it's quite a long chapter, so I hope you like. Please let me know, review, review, review =]

I also don't think I'll be able to update my stories as offend as I used to do. Probably a month or two apart or something like that…sorry. I have other personal projects that on going too that takes up some of my spare time.

Heart Memphizz