I'd like to say this is a very OLD story, but it amuses me enough to want to post it. AND HEY! It was BETA READ BEFORE I got it up! Enjoy!

Kitt's Kittens.

By TT snim

Beta read by KI

Bonnie picked up the phone early in the morning. Michael was on the other end.

"Bonnie!" He moaned. "It's horrible!"

"What?"

"Kitt had kittens." He wailed.

"What?"

"And I thought you got him fixed too." He added, distraught.

Devon, who was reading the paper and sipping tea, looked up. "Something wrong?"

"Kitt had kittens last night."

"I thought he was acting pissy lately." Devon took another sip and went back to his paper.

"Bonnie, please get over here right away!" Michael pleaded. "I could really use your extra super technical know how right about now. Especially now."

"I'll be right over in the magic Semi."

Devon glanced up. "I'll stay and keep an eye on my super expensive collection of highly breakable objects."

"Get in the magic semi, Miles."

_'

Michael was pacing his extra large garage when the magic semi pulled up outside of the extra large garage door. Kitt pulled back into the shadows, his red light waving slowly back and forth; a handful of smaller waving red lights 'mirred' near his hubcaps.

"I'm just sooo not in the mood for company." Kitt grumbled, tired.

"Too bad, pal." Michael said exasperated. He then turned to Bonnie. "I'm so glad you came, I was just about..."

She squealed, cutting him off. "Look! They are really cute!" She picked one up and sat down on a workbench. "How adorable!"

Devon, paper under one arm and a cup of tea in the other hand, found a place to sit. He opened the paper and returned to sipping his tea. "Yes, adorable."

"How many are there?" Bonnie asked as she was counting. "Nine! I see nine adorable kittens."

Michael turned around and glared at Kitt. "Nine? You told me you had ten."

"It was late... I miscounted." He backed up to the closet door. "There are only nine."

Michael folded his arms and glared at Kitt. "Are you lying?"

"Why would I..." The closet door was banged... "...lie to you?"

"Move, buddy."

"But..."

"Move."

With an exasperated sigh, Kitt pulled forward. Michael walked up to the closet and placed his hand on the knob. Bonnie stood and let the small car down.

"Michael, really, just leave him alone." Kitt said.

"Nope, I'm going to see what you are hiding." He opened the door and a low rumble echoed in the garage. Slowly an amber light waved in and out.

"Karr?" Bonnie asked. Suddenly the little kitten raced out of the closet and attacked one of it's brothers.

"Stop it, little Karr, that's very bad." Bonnie scolded.

Michael was simply standing, looking as if he would have an aneurysm any second now. Finally, he sighed and walked up to Kitt. "OK, tell me the truth, tell me why you had a Karr."

"Well, you see... It was after a case… you were so busy with that woman... I was lonely..."

"Kitt!"

Kitt sighed. "I'm sorry, I just wanted to talk to someone. Then it got late and we decided to..."

"I think I know what you decided to do." Michael said angrily.

"It wasn't all my fault! Karr was lonely too. Your not so identical twin was ignoring him as well." Kitt said mater-of-factly.

"Is that so?"

"Yes."

Michael looked again as if he would start bleeding in his brain. "I'm going to call my-not-so-identical-twin right now and have a word with him!"

Bonnie picked up another kitten and sat down. Devon sipped his tea. And Kitt retreated to the shadows with about half a dozen kittens following him.

Karr was parked just outside of the extra large garage door, watching his not-so-identical-twin hide in the shadows.

"Pathetic." Garthee sneered. He picked up one of the kittens and glared at it. "Karr, did you do this to that wimp in the shadows?"

"Absolutely not."

"Liar." Kitt mumbled.

Michael, who had earlier corralled the tiny Karr back in to the closet, opened the door. "Evidence."

The tiny Karr lunged out and attacked Garthee's leg. Devon glanced up from the paper. Bonnie petted another kitten.

"I never touched that wimp." Karr finally said.

Garthe looked down at the tiny Karr. "Why don't I believe you?" Garthe asked coldly.

"He's lying." Kitt added.

"Liar, liar, liar!" The kittens chanted.

Little Karr continued to attack Garthee's leg. Angered, Garthe dropkicked the kitten he was holding into the closet. Kitt was instantly revving and growling. Sneering, Garthe kicked another kitten.

Kitt charged.

Devon took a sip of his tea. "Kill, Kitt, kill."

Karr opened his door quickly and Garthe jumped inside. The little Karr turbo boosted in as well, and not a moment too soon, as Kitt slammed into the door of his not-so-identical-brother.

Michael laughed. "Serves you right."

"Let's go." Garthe said bitterly. He stuck his tongue out.

Kitt revved again, but pulled backwards into the garage.

"You all right, Kitt?" Bonnie asked.

"I'm tired, but I'll be fine."

"Are you sure? That must have taken a lot out of you, you should rest."

Michael tuned out the Technician/doctor/mother to patent/child in-depth talk and sat down next to Devon.

"Anything in sports?"

"Not really."

"Anything in the funnies?"

"Garfield kicked Odie off a table again."

"Oh. OK." Michael said. Then he looked down as a kitten bumped in to his leg. "They are sort of cute."

"Mmm-hmm." Devon turned the page.

"Wonder if we should try and find names for them all."

"Name that one Kitt number four." Devon said.

"Why four?"

"Because I said so."

Michael sighed and picked up the kitten. "What should I name you?"

The scanner waved back and forth but the kitten didn't reply.

"Hey, Kitt?"

"Yes, Michael?"

"Did you name them yet?"

"No. I was too tired last night. But I just assumed the Foundation would simply number them. As in Kitt two, Kitt three, Kitt four... that one is number eight. Seven in the litter, but I'm the first Kitt... so there you have it."

Michael set Eight down. "OK. If you say so."

"I do." Kitt replied.

Kitt pulled out of the garage with a line of kittens following him. Bonnie watched happily from the magic semi, Michael from the sidewalk and Devon through the paper.

"Now watch for incoming traffic." Kitt warned. The small Tonka-truck sized kittens slowly made their way on to the road, and promptly started bumping into each other. Soon one was up set and deliberately rammed his brother. Then it was a mini game of bumper cars/demolition derby. Kitt sighed.

"This isn't going well."

"First time on the road never goes well." Michael replied. "Just stay in the lines, that's all you can tell them to do at this point."

Kitt told them. Soon they were starting to follow some semblance of driving laws.

"That's better, isn't it?" Michael asked, smiling.

"Yes, much, but they still have a lot to learn."

"They will." Bonnie said reassuringly.

"Just so long as they don't ruin the perfectly-manicured-foundation-multimillion-dollar-lawn." Devon mumbled. He took a sip of his tea.

"We should take them to the foundation training track to help them learn faster." Bonnie suggested. "There they won't harm anything."

"Good idea." Kitt honked and all the Kittens, except one, lined up beside him. The straggler was attacking a small retaining wall.

"Which one is that, Kitt?" Michael asked.

"Number three. I think his hearing is out of alignment."

Bonnie picked up the lone kitten and carried him over to the line. "I'll fix him all up after the lessons are over."

"Just so long as you don't count it as foundation time." Devon turned the page. "Or use up our resources."

Bonnie rolled her eyes, and was glad he couldn't see her through the business section. "Wouldn't dream of it, Devon."

Nestled in the bushes, a pair of binoculars in her hands, a stunning looking brunette watched the tiny Trans-Ams play on the windy tarmac.

"Just look at all of those little cash cows, Herbie. If I got even one of them, I could make a fortune."

The white, X-race car star glared at the shimmering T-top and his kittens. "Honk-honk!"

"Yes, he took your fame and fortune away from you... but I, Jennifer Knight, will restore you to your former glory." She grinned and set the binoculars down. "For a nice price, that is."

"Honk! Rvvvvvvvv." Herbie added venomously.

She grinned. "My thoughts exactly! MUAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"HONKAHAHAHAHA!"

#_#

Kitt honked and the kittens gathered around. Bonnie scooped up number three and carried him to the magic semi. There, she sat him down and opened his hood. "Oh, this looks bad, Kitt. I'm going to have to operate quite a bit."

"Will he be all right?" Michael asked.

"Have I ever lost a patent?"

Michael opened his mouth, but shut it again, hoping to spare Kitt's feelings. "No... Never."

She smiled and got some tools ready. "Kitt, why don't you take the others home with you? I'll bring number three home tomorrow."

"All right." Kitt sighed reluctantly. "You'll call me and tell me how everything goes, won't you?"

"Sure I will. See you in the morning."

Kitt honked again and all the remaining kittens started to follow him. "Come on kids, remember to watch for traffic."

"Ah, darkness. The perfect time to do dark deeds." Jennifer said with a refreshed smile. She had army paint on and some old military clothes. Herbie was painted up on the outside and his seats were camouflaged with the same sort of army material Jennifer had donned. A small branch had been tied to his antenna.

"Now listen, you approach Kitt and pretend to try and take one of the kittens. When he chases you out of the huge garage get away as fast as you can, while I trap the rest in the trailer we brought. When you think you have lost Kitt, come back for me. Got it?"

"Honk!"

"Shhhh. Good. Go!"

Kitt awoke with a start as a very filthy X-race car star approached with a threatening revving rumble.

"What do you want?"

Herbie advanced on kitten number five and opened his hood with a growl.

"Oh no you don't." Kitt attempted to microjam the offending insect car, but because of the primitive nature of the bug, he was unable to.

Herbie started to chase one of the little Trans-Ams. This, of course, ticked Kitt off royally.

"That's it, you freak of science, get out before I slag haul you!"

Herbie ventured in further, and a chase ensued. After both cars were gone, Jennifer entered with a smile. She looked upon all the trembling kittens and rubbed her hands together with glee. "Come to me, my little shinny fortunes." She inched closer and grabbed one of the little t-tops and hauled him over to the trailer. Then another, and another... until all of them were gone. She locked it up tight and waited. Not too long after that, Herbie came back, dented and with a crack in one window, but otherwise unharmed.

"Ready, my love bug?"

"Honk! Honk!"

She hooked him up and they left. Eight tiny kittens in tow.

Michael awoke to the sound of an irritating squeaky honk. It happened twice. And it didn't sound at all like a Trans Am. He tossed his blankets back and ran to the garage. It was empty. He instinctively yanked his com up and called out to Kitt.

"Hey, pal, what's going on? Where did you take the kittens?"

"I didn't take them. Some insane white bug tried to steal them! It looked like the freak love bug."

"Well it looks like he did, partner. The garage is empty."

Kitt finally pulled up next to the magic semi and sighed. "No sign of them."

Bonnie set the last little T-top down and tried to look confident. "We'll find them, Kitt, don't worry. And besides, that bug didn't get all of them." She pointed to number three. "He's still here."

"I know, but it's not the same."

Michael set a reassuring hand on Kitt's hood. "We'll find them, just wait and see."

Devon, glancing up from his paper looked at Kitt for a moment. "You have the full backing of the foundation."

"Really?" Kitt asked.

"Yes, according to my estimation they were taken because of their extreme value. I can't afford to lose them."

"Well, at least we have support." Bonnie muttered. They all then got into the magic semi and headed off to start looking.

A week passed, and Kitt was still looking. Desperate now, he snuck out in the middle of the night, the last kitten following close behind him. They traveled out of the city and into the desert, finally arriving at an abandoned racetrack.

A lonely black un-twin stood in the dead center of the track, his amber light pulsing in and out. "What do you want, Kitt?"

"Something terrible has happened."

"What?" Karr asked darkly. "Devon finally finish that paper?"

"No, the Kittens have been taken."

"I don't care. I've had nothing to do with this."

"Whoever took them may be after the little Karr as well."

There was a moment of silence. A coyote barked, then howled, then barked some more. A second coyote answered. For a while they barked, yipped and howled back and forth. Then another wild coyote joined them.

Finally, Karr sighed. "I heard that Herbie the love bug had a grudge against you. But that's all I'm saying."

"But who did you hear it from?"

"Like I said, wimp, that's all I'm saying." And Karr drove off, silent and dark; an un-twin of the night.

Kitt pulled away as well, keeping number three close.

Michael watched Kitt pull in to the magic semi with the little kitten next to him.

"And just where were you?"

"Getting a very valuable clue. Apparently I was right. It was the love bug. Now we have a lead. We should call around and see who and what connections he has."

"I'll get right to it." Bonnie said, finally looking a little bit happy. After a minute or two, she printed something off of the computer. "OK, apparently in the last year. Herbie has attacked some old lady, torn up the Indianapolis Five Hundred, ran over a dog, all while honking like a deranged weasel. Says here he also needed some parts and went to a woman named Lady Knight."

Devon rustled the papers. "Sounds like what Wilton called his X."

"Let's check it out." Michael said grinning. He hopped into Kitt and let the small kitten up with him. It was only logical, since the little T-top couldn't last as long as Kitt could on the road.

"We'll call when we have something!"

The fat old woman scoffed. "How should I know? I pawned that loser off on Jenny six months ago. Apparently they now have come across a lot of money somehow. I don't know anymore than that." She coughed and glared at Michael through the glass.

"That's all I need. Thanks."

She nodded and continued to hack. "Any time, pudding."

Michael exited the building, shuddered the way he always did when encountering one of Wilton's relatives, and entered Kitt. "It's the she-devil, Jennifer."

"I should have known. What else?"

"Seems like she's suddenly rich."

"This is bad... terrible... horrible..." Kitt revved and pulled out of the parking lot. "We have to hurry."

"We don't even know where she is, pal. Let's go back to the foundation and look her up, OK?"

"Oh... very well." Kitt sped up and raced off.

Devon was carefully examining his collection of super expensive objects when Michael entered his office.

"Find out anything, my boy?"

"Yep, it's Jennifer and that washed up nobody love bug, Herbie. They took Kitt's kittens and are now filthy rich because of it."

"That much money in the wrong hands could be a disaster... someone could actually buy more expensive highly breakable objects than me."

"Heaven forbid." Michael replied.

"What do you intend to do now?"

"Track her down and get the Kitts back."

Bonnie handed out what she had learned from the magic semi. "Apparently she is living large in a heavily guarded manor on the east hill. You won't possibly be able to make it up there with Kitt. It would take at least twice the man and car power you have.

Michael looked distraught. "What do we do?"

"I have an idea." Kitt said. "But I don't think either of you will like it."

#_#

Michael's un-twin looked around with a dark glare. "Why, again, did we come to help these weenies?"

"Because I said so." Karr replied. "You could have stayed home, you realize."

Garthe snorted. "I want to see if my little sister remembers me."

Kitt pulled out of the magic semi and parked next to his un-twin. "I'm very happy you came, Karr."

"Kitt, you are always happy. How messed up is that?"

Kitt didn't reply. Michael came in to view then and promptly tackled Garthe to the ground. They were instantly at each other's throat.

"Do you know how we will be able to confront the love bug and get the kittens back?" Kitt asked.

"I was hoping you had a plan." Karr replied. A loud crash was heard in the background.

"We could try to distract Jennifer with bait."

"What sort of bait?"

Another loud crash was heard, and Devon's angry voice rang out.

"That vase cost me thousands of dollars!"

Kitt was silent for a moment before pulling away from his un-twin. "Oh Devon, may I have a word with you?"

Jenny sat back in her lawn chair and sipped her iced tea. One kitten was parked next to her; a tray duct taped to his roof and on top, were glasses and a pitcher.

"Brat number six, bring me the paper!" She demanded suddenly. The little kitten slowly rolled over to another table and opened his t-tops. He grasped the end of the paper with the metal flaps and pulled it down. Then he drove to his captor.

"About time. Now go survey the perimeter. I don't want any one getting in without my notice."

The little kitten turned and drove off.

"Honk, honk!"

"What is it, my love bug?"

"Honk! Honk beep honk."

She glanced up at him and pulled her shades down. "Are you sure?"

"Honk."

"Very well." She opened the newspaper and glanced through it until she reached the article Herbie had mentioned. "You are right my love bug! They are exceptionally expensive."
"Honk?" The little table kitten asked.

Jennifer glanced down. "Very well. I'll read it out loud. Thursday night there will be an exhibition in the grand park showing off the collection of highly breakable objects owned by one Mr. Devon Miles. The exhibition is estimated at five million dollars grand total. Police and security guards will be present."

She smiled and Herbie revved.

"Police are no match for my little kittens. Compared to that diamond heist last week, this will be like opining King Tut's Tomb!" She dropped the paper and tossed her head back. "MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"HONKHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

\_/

Karr was at the far end of the park, fighting an urge to just race through the exhibition stands and turn all of Devon's super-expensive-and-highly-breakable-objects into piles and piles of not-so-expensive-debris.

"Karr, see anything yet?" Kitt asked over the com.

"No. I'm relived that my partner is no longer fighting your wuss."

"That's because my partner rendered your partner unconscious."

"Only after my partner broke both of your partner's legs..."

As Kitt and Karr argued, a dark line of tiny cars approached from the south end. They split up and each approached a different guard or officer. Then tiny darts were shot and the guards fell asleep. Herbie, with Jennifer inside, crept up to the main exhibit and parked. The trailer was again attached to him.

"All right, good work my little kittens." Jennifer purred. "Now go and micro jam the security network."

Eight tiny kittens reformed a line and slunk off into the dark bushes.

"...Well I could certainly take you any day, Karr!"

"Want to try me!"

"Yeah!"

"Bring it on!"

The two Trans Ams revved and raced towards each other when Kitt suddenly stopped. "Devon's calling."

"What?" Karr skidded to a halt and waited, still ready to get it on with his un-twin.

"The security net is down."

"So?"

"And the guards are all asleep."

"Now that's just unprofessional."

"They were drugged."

Karr calmed a bit. "Ah."

"I'll scan the outside of the park, you scan the inside."

"Very well."

They parted ways each being followed by a distinctly smaller version of themselves.

Jennifer darted in and loaded each kitten with as much booty as he could carry. From the shadows Herbie honked feverishly.

"They are coming?"

"HONK!"

"Quickly, my pets! In to the trailer"

Suddenly Karr burst through the shrubs and parked between the kittens and the love bug.

"Stop, or I'll tell the whole world what color your bra is, Jennifer!"

She stiffened and glared. "You are the car, Karr. My brother must have taught you that one. But it won't work on me! I'm not ashamed to admit that I like flesh tones!" And with that, she darted off in the other direction. Herbie barreled past Karr and paused long enough for Jennifer to climb in. Just as Herbie started to pull away, Kitt careened in front of him. All of the kittens, save for the little Karr, rushed happily to Kitt's side. He carefully scanned each one and spoke to them in happy squeaks of delight.

Karr, disgusted, backed away.

Herbie, not quite as disgusted, but desiring distance more than the do-gooder FLAG-mobile's un-twin, started to back away as well.

"Halt right there you miserable Volkswagen!" Kitt suddenly snapped furiously. "I'm going to shred you in to a thousand pieces for all your trouble!"

"HONK HONK!"

Kitt hissed. "Watch your tongue! There are young audio receptors here!" Kitt turned slightly. "And I'm glad they are all here or I don't know what I would have done."

"I know." Karr chimed. "He would have blown you in to bits with your laser!"

"I think I'll do that anyway." Kitt snarled. He brought his laser out and aimed it at the grungy love bug.

"You forget that I am in this car." Jennifer laughed. "You can't kill a human!"

"I can." Karr retorted. Herbie sped off and Kitt grumbled at his loss of revenge. Despite that, he turned and led his now complete brood back to the magic semi. Before he got all the way there, he spotted Karr stopping long enough to pick up Garthe who was trying to hit Michael with his cast covered hand. Michael had been fending off the awkward blows with his plaster-casted head.

"Don't watch, children." Kitt sighed. "Humans are illogical. Now let's have Bonnie look all of you over before I go to help your Uncle Karr with the love bug."

Karr raced to catch up with the love bug. His plaster imprisoned partner growling all the way.

"WATCH THE BUMPS, YOU TIN CAN!" He roared. "Why are we chasing them anyway?"

Karr remained silent and sped up, making sure to hit all the bumps on the way.

When he arrived at the Jennifer mansion of Doom, he slammed on his brakes. There in the shadows, were three pairs of glowing headlights. Two were small and close to the ground. Both the smaller ones had amber track lights flowing in and out between the headlights.

Herbie rumbled and pulled forward. "HONK HONK! HONKAHAHAHAH"

"What did he say?" Garthe demanded.

"He said, 'Look upon the demon spawn that you have here behind me and tremble in fear. They will obey only my voice and not yours, and will at my command, destroy you! HONKAHAHAHA'."

"I got the evil laughing." Garthe hissed. "But is all of that true?"

Karr didn't reply.

(.)_(.)

Kitt arrived with the magic semi behind him. He skidded to a stop with a gasp. In front of him was the sight of two hideous Trans Am Volkswagen half breeds attacking Karr and little Karr. At seeing little Karr's distress, Kitt whipped out his laser and blew the offending abomination away. The other one shrieked, and raced to hide behind Herbie.

"I demand to know the reason for this!" Kitt yelled.

Karr backed away.

"Tell me!"

"Well, it all started about a year ago, it was right after you waxed me the second time..."

"Enough!" Jenny shouted. She was standing on her balcony with a wine glass in her hand. "It's good to see you, Garthe." She called. "NOT!" Then she sipped her wine.

"I assume you have some sort of diabolical plan to be standing out on that unprotected balcony." Michael yelled up at her.

She nodded. "This, Garthe, is why Michael is better than you. My plan is to blow up this house and destroy all of you with it."

"But... we can just drive away." Bonnie replied with a gesture towards the magic semi with her thumb.

"No you can't!" Iron gates slammed shut. "These have the MB shell covering them."

"We can turbo boost out." Karr argued.

"The kittens can't, and you don't have time to turbo boost all of them to safety and your precious humans too."

"HONK HONK!" Herbie opened his door and the little half-breed jumped in. Jenny raised her hand and a helicopter appeared over everyone. It started to pour a thick liquid.

"This rain is the exact formula to melt all the MB shell off of your ugly bodies. MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

The helicopter latched on to Herbie as Jennifer climbed a rope ladder.

"HONK HONK HONK! HONKHAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"MUAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"HONKHAHAHAHAH!"

Kitt aimed his laser and exploded the wine glass. Jennifer stopped laughing and tossed a glare towards Kitt. Then she scrambled into the helicopter. Karr micro jammed it and sent it crashing into the pool. Kitt used his laser to blow up the love bug and then cut through the iron gate.

Quietly everyone left as Jennifer's Mansion of Doom burst in to a huge ball of flames. All the while, Jennifer was screaming about how expensive it all was.

Devon opened the paper and sat down on the lawn chair out side of the Foundation mansion. In the parking lot, Kitt and his now bigger kittens were driving around chasing each other. Not too far away Karr sat, glaring at the fun happening. Little Karr was next to him. Somewhere in the bushes, Michael and Garthe were fighting. Bonnie was smiling and enjoying it all.

"Anything in the paper about Jennifer?" She asked.

"Her house is gone and she has been arrested." Devon replied. He took a sip of his tea.

"That's nice." Bonnie sighed. Something snapped in the background. "Just look how happy Kitt is."

Devon crinkled the paper and glanced over it. "Yes, very happy." He sunk back down and took a sip out of his tea.

"All right children, try to use 'the rule of the Right Of Way'." Kitt chimed.

Nine kittens formed four small lines and practiced the rule. Kitt was pleased. His scanner flashed back and forth with pure joy.

And something crashed in the background.

END!

LALALALA... MUAHAHAHAHA!

Snarf!