Day Ten

"I'm a mess, I confess that I'm nothing without you

And there is nothing I can do to prove to you I'm being honest

Now I see everything; and yes, I've known it all along

I was so lost, but now I'm back and I finally know now where my heart belongs"

-The Scene Aesthetic "Come What May"

She didn't want him. It wasn't a choice for her anymore, though; no, not now, because now she needed him.

Lily didn't feel the same way about other guys – she couldn't feel the same way. She tried, Merlin, did she try. It didn't matter, though, because not one of those boys could compare to Teddy.

She had always been attracted to Teddy, ever since she could remember. Once she hit a certain age, they weren't just friends; no, there was way too much chemistry between them for them to be just friends. Teddy knew just as well as she did but that didn't mean they were a couple. Teddy had tried so many damn times to show Lily how he felt but she pretended never to understand what he was saying.

Nonono. She didn't want him. He was everything that she shouldn't want. Yes, he was smart, but he didn't try in school and worst of all, he went through girls like no tomorrow. He was the boy that every girl's parents warned her about.

So Lily broke away from him. She started doing things that she knew would make him upset. She wanted him to not want her because, then, it would be so much easier; then, she would be able to have that perfect life with a perfect guy just like she had dreamed. Lily started hanging around other boys and trying as hard as she possibly could to make him believe that she had fallen for one of them, trying to drive Teddy away from her. Teddy did the same damn thing, though, and she wasn't expecting that. She wasn't expecting it to hurt so much. She dealt with it – she became stronger and stronger and built a flawless cover because she couldn't let him think that he hurt her, that she was green with envy.

It didn't matter, though, because they always found a way back to each other. Teddy didn't like that girl for some reason and Lily didn't like that guy for another – lame excuses. Lily was still not quite ready to give in because it scared her. It scared her to think that she wasn't going to have that fairytale ending. So each time they found one another again, she would pushpushpush him away.

It was this last time that caused her to regret it. Teddy had a new girlfriend and they were so damn cute together. This time it hurt Lily more than she was used to and so she pushed him even further away. She went to work, building up her walls higher and higher, stronger and stronger. It worked, too, she almost felt nothing for that Lupin boy. Almost. There was always this spot in the solid brick wall that, try as she might, couldn't patch up. Through that hole drifted in their past, their memories and they haunted her. Lily tried to ignore them and she was doing a damn good job of it, too.

Then she saw him.

Lily hadn't prepared for that. She hadn't seen him in months and then, out of the blue, there he was. Those walls of hers didn't crumble down slowly, no, of course not. The second she set her eyes on him, the walls CRASHED and fell into shambles. She felt so vulnerable and all of those truths that she had filed away so long ago came rushing back at her. She couldn't ignore the truth anymore because they were dancing in front of her, jeering at her.

Lily loved Teddy. Lily needed Teddy.

It was too late, though. Teddy was already with someone and it wasn't Lily.

She needed to show him that she did love him, despite her past actions. She needed to prove to him that she no longer cared if he wasn't the perfect prince because he was her prince. She was no longer afraid of giving her heart to him because he already had it; he had had it for years and years and had been trying desperately to show her that. All Lily had to do now was wait for Teddy and hopehopehope that he would find his way back to her once again – just once more because, this time, she wouldn't push him away, she wouldn't let him go.

The lyrics above belong to the band The Scene Aesthetic. Check them out 'cause their songs are really cute!

Merlin, I almost never cry but I was pretty damn close while I was writing this. It is really personal.

This was done for Siriusly Smart's iPod Challenge in HPFC.

Thanks mew for being a siriusly wicked awesome beta. Uhhh *hands Teddy back but only temporarily*

:)