Note: sorry for the late post of this you guys. I've had other stuff on my mind recently. So, I couldn't sleep and this popped into my head. Of course it is MxM. I'm in denial about both of their deaths, and normally I would write AU, but I couldn't help myself, they deserved this. Anyway, I should stop ranting. Enjoy! (Hopefully…..)
Btw, I don't own death note or any of its characters, and if I did it would be all MxM all the time.
Walking
Sometimes in life, and in death, people walk. They don't know where, when, why or how. Kind of like you. You walk and I watch those softly-sculpted, leather clad hips sway. But I never let you see me look. You don't know where you are going. You don't know when you will get there, and you don't even know why, but you do know how. You will walk. And despite myself, I will follow.
Why, you ask? Why do I still follow you? Even though on more than one occasion, you have hit me? Messed with my emotions? Teased me? Even though you're more than a bit psycho? Because, Mello, I love you. And I'm sure you love me too, even if you can't admit it. But, I understand. It's your pride. Although, you did. Once.
We had gotten into a fight. A bad one. You were pissed, yet again because of that damn albino. Plus, the fact that we had no more chocolate did not help the situation. So, you took it out on me, and I ran. I ran all the way outside and behind a tree. I could see the entrance. Eventually, it started it rain. But still, I did not go back inside. If I left, I would have gotten soaked. And I didn't want to face you yet.
A little afterwards I would hear crashes and booms coming from inside Wammys. The occasional kid would run out screaming, "HE'S GONE MAD! MATT, WHERE ARE YOU?"
I knew it was you and smiled. But, still I did not go in.
And you walk. Not knowing where, when, why, only how. I remember most of all those hips. Swaying as you walk down your broken path. And those eyes. Blue and cold. Bright and sharp. They made me want to hold you, tell you everything would be alright. But I couldn't, so I didn't. and you walk. Your blonde hair behind you.
And I remember you, running out and coming to a stop in front of me and my tree. your perfect hair messy and wet from the rain. Blue eyes wild. hips, still swaying. I would have smiled, but I didn't. Quickly, you closed the distance between us and without a word you smashed your lips against mine. And why, Mello, did I kiss you back? Because, Mello, I love you. And I'm sure you do too, even if you can't show it. But, those words, unspoken, yet saying "I'm sorry, Matt, I love you" it was there. In that kiss.
And you walk. Even two years later, you still walked. Not knowing, where, when, why, only how.
"Matt, I'm leaving" you told me, "And don't you dare try to follow me." You said that you didn't want me to get hurt, but I didn't care, never cared, as long as I was with you.
I just sat there though, on my bed and watched you go. I hoped you would turn around and tell me it was a joke. That you would either take me with you or, even better, not go at all. But, you never did. But I saw, just for a moment, a hesitation, before you walked away. Why did I not stop you? Tell you how much I love you? Because, if I did, you might have ran. And I would rather watch you walk, your beautiful hips swaying. not knowing where, when, why, only how. You will walk.
And years later, when I thought I couldn't take it anymore, when the world was crashing on top of me, and I wanted to just…..just what, I didn't know, just, just. I got a call. Why, after all this did I answer? Why did I let the hell you are get back into my life? Because, Mello, when I saw your name in tiny little letters on my phone, I had too. I had to hear your voice. So, I answered. It was cracked and more than a little scarred. So, I came to save you from whatever shit you had gotten into.
And when we met, after the hospital, after the morphine, after, after, you as the glorious leather clad god you are looked at me. I could have cried, but I wouldn't, and so I didn't. To stay strong. For you. I then realized how much I did truly love you. Even after that scar. So, yes, Mello, I followed you. Past the light, past the point of no return. But I didn't care, never cared as long as I was with you, and so, we walk.
We don't know where, when, why, only how. We will walk. Even though, currently, the police are still trying to identify my body, while yours is on the other side of town, still in that church, we will walk. Somehow, I knew I would die, you would be the end of me, but I didn't care, never cared, as long as I was with you. And so, we will walk.
You walk, and I follow, hand in hand. We walk. Your hips sway while mine try to keep up. We walk. Why do I STILL follow? Because, Mello, if I must say it again, I love you. Even if you can't tell me how much you love me back. But, as I said earlier, I understand. So, we walk. Together.
And, fin! I hoped you liked it. I'm not the best…..I have to admit, it was a little sad, even for me, but hey, I can't choose what comes to my head. If you didn't notice, he stopped putting emphasis on the "we". He was trying to convince himself, as well as Mello that they would be together no matter what, and when he got comfortable with the idea, he stopped.