Disclaimer: Emmett told me that if I don't say this that he will eat my dog.*Sob* I do not *sob* own *sob* Edward Cullen. *sobs hopelessly, ruining keyboard* "There happy now Emmett." Emmett grins evilly with blood dripping down his chin.

"Fluffy!"

Author's Note: I was just stalling to finish reading Twilight when I wrote this. My mom would not let me read constantly, so I just went with writing about Twilight. Some of these only apply to Edward's screaming fangirls, like me. BTW. Just about every one of these has happened to me or my Twilight buddy. () Hope you enjoy it!

If you read it you better review it! Even if the review is just " J " They make my day!

You Know You Are Too Much of a Twilight Fan When...

1. You cry/scream/jump for joy while you are reading because you are so into the story.

2. ...and your family claims you are psychotic.

3. You claim Twilight is the only joy/love in your life.

4. You throw your popcorn at the Twilight movie screen, yell, "That wasn't in the book," and get kicked out of the movie theatre-repeatedly.

5. You forget the difference between the actual book's plot and the excessive amount of fan fiction you read.

6. You write all of your reports about Twilight, because who really has time to study when you are reading the series for the 15th time?

7. Every piece of art you create contains blood, teeth, dead wolves, or anything to do with Twilight.

8. Whenever someone says, "Look, sparkly!" you scream, "Edward! I knew you would come for me!"

9. You chase after every silver Volvo that you see.

10. You start believing that you are turning pale and cold because you are a vampire and NOT because it is winter.

12. ...and that the circles under your eyes are NOT from you choosing Twilight over sleep.

13. Your heartbeat flutters and comes to an abrupt stop when Robert Pattinson first appears as Edward in the cafeteria at the beginning of the movie Twilight.

14. You throw glitter on your boyfriend, buy him a Volvo and vampire fangs, and

pay people to pretend they are the Cullens just so that you can have your own Edward.

15. You get a life-size cardboard picture of Edward for your room so that he can watch you sleep.

16. Your Ipod consists of Stephenie Meyer's Twlight writing track and the music from the Twilight soundtrack.

17. You multitask by writing Twilight fanfic, while listening to the soundtrack, with one of the books sitting next to you for inspiration, and will do this next to the tv with the DVD in.

18. Everything you write has something to do with Twilight. (i.e. your Spanish homework story is about a girl named Isa from Phoenix who is a new student that becomes friends with a pretty,tiny girl named Ali. Which I did write about actually.)

19. You walk up to Rob Pattinson look-alikes and beg for them to bite you.

20. You've searched EVERYWHERE for freesia scented perfume. (Hot Topic has some!)

21. Your family knows not to even consider using words like 'bite' 'sparkle' and 'dazzle' around you because you might hyperventilate.

22. If ever asked who your first (for younger fans) love was, you immediately reply "EDWARD CULLEN!"

23. You know and have been called all the different names for fans: Twihards, Twitards, Twilighters, fanpires, etc.

24. You've been/ are going to the movie premieres and you WILL be dressing up!

25. And by dressing up I mean sparkles, make up, clothes, jewelry, etc.

And not to mention! :

26. You read fanfics like this!

P.S. Would you rather be in love with a gorgeous vampire that lusts for your blood or a flea-ridden mongrel that needs a haircut? ~Eddysgirl4eva