Disclaimer: I do NOT own the Teen Titans or Batman and company. Not even a goldfish... :) enjoy!

"RING! RING!" Robin was surprised to find not his communicator going off, but his cell phone.

"Um, hello?" The rest of the titans gathered around, trying to hear his conversation. Raven and Starfire were being inconspicious, pretending to be putting away dishes. Cyborg and Beastboy though... well, they were just following the poor boy around where ever he paced, listening to the snippets from his side of the line.

"Oh were all good thanks, how about yourself, Mayor?" There were raised eyebrows of the other titans. What could the mayor want? There was a long explination on the other line. "Oh... I see... um... who exactly?"

There was another long pause, and Robin reached for his water. When the mayor answered, his eyes grew wide, and the boy blunder went into a caughing fit, choking on the water. "Excuse me? No, no, everything fine... Um, just wasn't who I was expecting is all..."

"No! No trouble! It's just... are you sure it's neccecary? I doubt he needs that much security..."

"Yea I know that, I lived in Gotham for a while. But I'm sure that he's perfectly capable of protecting himself..." Robin made a face, and Raven could've swarn he rolled his eyes under the mask. "Well of course we'd step in if there were any problems, but I doubt-"

Robin sighed impatiently. "Well he lived in Gotham his whole life. I'm beyond sure he knows some self defence, I mean, it's practically a requirement if you want to live in Gotham without getting yourself-" he was cut off again. When he spoke again, he had a fake cheeryness to his voice, dripping with sarcasm. "Oh, I see. Special request huh? Well then, I guess we have no choice but to be hospitable, now do we... No, no problem at all. When is he coming?" The boy scowled.

Robin's eyes widened in shock. "A week? Um... ok, I guess... no, it's ok, I'll work out the details with him... ok... your welcome... bye." Robin hung up the phone, almost snapping it in half, and grinding his teeth togther. By now, even the girls had stopped acting like they weren't listening, too curious as to what was going on.

"Uh, dude? What was that about?"

"In a second." Robin started dialing another number, pacing while impatiently waiting for the person on the other line to pick up. "Hey, Barb... yea, it's me... NO! Everything's fine. What? Just because I call means somthing bad's happened? Thanks for having some faith in me!" There was a long pause on the other line. "Yea, did you hear about-?" Robin by now, was waving his hands around in exaspiration.

"I know! I can't believe he has the absolute nerve to set all this up!" The boy wonder rolled his eyes, and let out a bitter laugh.

"Cares? Really Babs? No. That's not it. He still thinks I'm his little puppet! He's doing this to prove he still has CONTROL over me!" The titans sent a mutual look among themselves. What was going on?"

"No. He is NOT my-!... Nah, he's too busy being an emotionless rock... hold on, that's him on the other line. Be right back."

Robin pressed a button, then screamed into the phone, "WHAT THE FUCK WERE YOU THINKING!" a timid voice answered on the other line, and Robin smacked his forehead, face turning red. "Sorry Babs, I guess I forgot to switch lines...yea I guess that wasn't the best opener anyway... actualy... hold on." This time, Robin made sure he switched lines before answering. "Um, hello? Oh, hey Al... yea, yea, everythings fine, well except the fact that he was stupid enough to-... I know, you're right... but he still could've run it by us first, stupid Bat..."

If Robin's accidentaly cursing off at the wrong person wasn't enough to distract the titans from what they were doing, the mention of Batman was. "He wants to what...? I guess that makes sense... as Bat or-... ok. I'll connect the server now. Later Alf."

The titans watched as Robin shuffled over to the computer, looking as if he wanted to do anything but. They didn't recognise the server he joined, but they recognised the voice that came from the other end. "Robin..."

"Batman."

"You know why I called."

"Unfortunately. Why?"

"Don't you think it'd be strange if he didn't try to get some of the best security in Jump City?" Robin smirked.

"Yea, like Bruce really needs any 'protection' besides a box of condoms. Oh, what's gonna happen, he's gonna get mugged in a deep dark ally by some thug with a gun?"

"..."

"Oops. Forgot about that... heh... Well, uh... you know what I mean. He's fine without us as his 'bodygaurds' ugh. As if. It's not like J- uh, a certain clown, is coming... or is he?"

"Dude, are you talking about JOKER?" Robin winced at the name, somthing only Batman caught.

"Yes, Beastboy, but no, hopefully, we're not dealing with him any time soon... hope you never have to meet him... he's locked up in Arkam?"

Batman glared at him. "He escaped yesterday." Robin shrugged.

"Anyway... anything else we should know about?"

"Tim's coming with him." Robin groaned in exaspiration. "Is there a problem?" Robin just glared at the bat.

"No... everything's just swell. What, is he gonna bring Damian too? Bring the whole clan with him?" Batman swore, somthing Robin had never heard before, causing him to smirk.

"I forgot Damian was coming next week..."

"YOU... FORGET? Ha! Never thought I'd see the day... but there is NO WAY he's coming anywhere near-"

"He has to come."

"WHAT? WHY? He's evil! Did you forget the fact that he was TRAINED BY ASSASSINS? He's evil!"

"He's been trying to be good. Where else is he supposed to go?"

"Um, anywhere but here would be nice. Dealing with Timmy for more than a day is hard. Meetin Damian once, and dealing with him for an hour, was worse times ten. Him and Damian in the same place? For a WEEK? They'll destroy the city, start World War Three, and kill each other... within the first hour!"

"They get along better than you credit them. Maybe you should try it." Robin glared at the screen.

"Are you kidding? Do you REMEMBER how Tim reacted when he found out Damian was his brother? What he call him, the son of the devil or somthing? After spending a week TRYING TO KILL EACH OTHER?"

"Well, if they're your guests, then I'm sure they'll be on their best behavior."

"Well, Tim might, but maybe none of them are welcome here."

"Well maybe you don't have a choice in the matter."

"Oh, whatcha gonna do? Huh? Make me go back to Gotham?"

"I still have the right to do that."

"No, you don't! Who do you think you are?"

"Your father!"

Robin glared at the screen, seething mad. "You-you are NOT my father! Not by blood, not by paper, not by anything! I HATE you! OK? Just LEAVE ME ALONE!" there was an akward silence, the titans now wishing they had snuck out of the room. Robin visably calmed down, before speaking.

"Look. Bruce, Tim, and Damian may stay here next week, for no more than a week, so long as Batman, and Robin, stay in Gotham. Got it?"

"Fine." Robin hung up communications. And spun around to face his now very confused friends.

"Uh... Dude? What was that all about? And who are Bruce, Tim and Damian? And aren't you Robin?" Robin ran a hand through his hair, sighing.

"There's been other Robin's in Gotham. I was replaced almost the second I left the city."

"Ok, so what about those people?"

"They... um... you've all heard of Bruce Wayne, right?"

"Of course, but what's that got to do with anything?"

"Well, we're gonna have some guests next week... Tim Drake, and Damian and Bruce Wayne."

"Seriously! BRUCE WAYNE is staying HERE? DUDE! Sweet! Wait, if Damian is his kid, who's that other guy?"

Robin rolled his eyes, having a dificult time trying not to puke at his enthusiasm. "Look. Bruce has a son named Damian, and Tim is his older son, whom he has recently... adopted. Bruce has some buisness he has to do in this city, and he... requested, to stay here at the tower." Robin smirked. "Cause there are sooooo many people here that would want to attack poor Bruce. Ugh." Robin said sarcastically.

"So, since Bruce Wayne is sooooooo scared, he's gonna stay here, where we'll 'protect' him."

"Please, why do you say it like it is a joke?" asked Starfire.

Hmm, because he's batman maybe? "Because he lives in Gotham with no security on a daily basis."

"Why is gotham such a big deal dude? Everyone thinks it's so BA to live there. It's just another city." Robin stared at the green kid for a moment.

"Have you ever been to Gotham?"

"No."

"Do you think the villains we face are bad? Evil?"

"Well duh! What is this, 20 Q?"

"And how many murdered victims have you seen in this city."

"... one."

"Have you ever heard of the Penguin? Twoface? Riddler?... Joker?" the green boy nodded.

"I heard they were extremely bad, that they'd make our villians look like a joke." pointed out Raven, and Robin nodded.

"Those guys, and dozens of other psycos, were ones I faught on a daily basis when I lived in Gotham. And that's in addidion to the normal criminals. Gotham isn't like Jump City, Beastboy. The villains escape almost as fast as you put them away. Accept for a few of them, the police are all corrupt. There aren't just muggers, bank robbers, drunk drivers. There are drug dealers, rapists, cerial killers, child abusers. None of the villians here that we've faced kill. They just try to get whatever their greedy paws want. In Gotham, it's a free for all.

"The criminals won't hold out on using a gun. They will shoot you. And others. You know how many people Joker alone has killed with his lauging gas?" no answer came from the scared changeling. "Hundreds, possibly even thousands by now. And when he kills them, it's with a smile on his face. Most everyone else won't hesitate to kill either. To kidnap. Poison. They'll do anything. It doesn't matter if you've done anything to them either." he looked up, adressing his friend.

"If you walk on the streets at night, you are either a villian, a vigilante, or a victim. If you aren't wearing a mask and cape, you're considered a target. If you go outside at night... there's a chance the next time you go inside you'll be in a casket or on a hospital bed. And they don't just attack middle aged people, either. They attack elderly, and children... have you ever seen a dead child, Beastboy?"

He shook his head no. "Ha-have you?" he nodded his head grimly.

"Dozens, Beastboy. Murdered... Not becuase they did anything wrong, they were just in the wrong place at the wrong time. One was no older than three. Twoface had gotten her, her name was Faith... when we found her... it was too late." he saw Beastboy starting to squirm, but didn't stop talking. "Once, Beastboy, Joker decided to hand out candy at a carnival. It was laced with mercury salt. You know what that does, Beastboy? It causes your body to shut down, little by little. You know how many kids go to carnivals?" Beastboy gulped, picturing the sight. "Who do you think found them while Batman was busy searching for Joker? Me and Batgirl. She's about a year or two older than you, Cyborg. That happened when I was 11 and she was 15."

The half-robot shifted from side to side uncomfortably. "In Gotham, you learn self defense or you die. End of story. Even that's not enough. There are bad people in that city. And are they ever punished? No. Get the death penalty? No. They get out of jail by giving a corrupt cop information about someone they're looking for. They get out of the death penalty by claiming insanity."

He glanced over his friends, seeming much older than the rest of them. "That, Beastboy, is why Gotham is so bad." On that note, he walked out the door, planning on what to do for the following week.

**So... love it? Hate it? Please let me know! :) oh, and btw, it won't all be as emofied as the end of this chapter, i mean it IS under humor :)