A/N: BACK! :DD

Disclaimer: I do not own ANYTHING!

BPOV

I want to say that things went back to normal. I want to say that I sat Jake down and we talked it out. I explained to him why I left so hurriedly, why I told him to stop, why I panicked. And we discussed it all. I want to say that Jacob and I were on a firmer foundation now…but I can't.

Because I have been almost avoiding him these two weeks. It became harder once Christmas break started. I had moved back to Forks for the holiday, so I had to quit my job at the bookstore temporarily and had no lessons to attend to. All I had to do in Forks to keep my mind off of my seemingly failing relationship with Jacob was cooking, cleaning, and Christmas shopping. So I had virtually limitless time on my hands.

Up until a few days ago, Jake would call me almost constantly. He would call me in the morning, at noon, at dinner, and late at night before I had gone to bed. I never answered, afraid of the confrontation, not ready to explain to him what was going on. But his messages always got to me.

'Hey Bella…it's me again. Look, I'm sorry for pushing you. I'm sorry for not asking. I just got caught up in the heat of the moment and…Just call me back. I love you…'

'It's me again…God, this must have been how you felt when I never answered your calls…Just please talk to me Bells! Tell me what I did wrong and how I can fix it! I…need you…I can't stand this…'

'Okay… you need time, I get that. I'll let you have your time, time to think about whatever it is that goes on in the mind of Bella. Just…come back to me. Whenever your done thinking…I'll still be here. Probably still waiting by phone…Love you.'

He was blaming himself. He was blaming himself and still held faith for me. I didn't deserve it. I didn't deserve him. I never deserved him, not as a friend and not as a lover. But he was willing to give himself to me, wholly and completely.

I had had a lot of time to think, seeing as laundry doesn't necessarily do much to take your mind off of things, time to push my doubts to the back of my mind and to think and relish in what I have. I have Jacob. I have the boy who stood by me when no one else would. I have the man who was strong enough to fight for what he wanted. I have the man who loved me even though it hurt him.

And I was cruel enough to deny him. Deny him because some subconscious part of me was still living in the past. Not anymore. I have the present I want, with Jacob and Charlie and Renee. I have the future I long for, with Jacob and Charlie and Renee and maybe a few little children. There was no point in living in the past anymore.

It was Christmas Eve here in Forks, my first Christmas where I was lucid enough to actually celebrate. The house was adorned in dusty garland and lights, with a giant Christmas tree sitting the living room. There were already some present under the tree, small boxes and bags. I smiled at the sight. Charlie didn't seem like one who enjoyed Christmas, but maybe he was just going out of his way to make it special for me.

The phone rang, swaying me from my Christmas thoughts. Jacob, I knew automatically as I made my way to it. There was no point in not answering.

"Hello?" I answered.

"Bella!" Jacob sighed in relief. "Hey how are you?" He asked, scrambling for something to say, not expecting me to actually answer.

"I'm…good. I was actually about to call you." Maybe not about to, but I knew that a conversation with him could no longer be avoided. Might as well go ahead and get it out of the way. "I was thinking about heading down to the beach… you wanna join me?" I invited. The beach was our place: that little strip by the water, with our makeshift driftwood bench that never changed. It didn't matter that it was cold and snowing, the beach would always be the perfect place for two souls to meet.

I could almost hear the smile in Jacobs voice. "Sure, I'll meet you there." He exclaimed before hanging up in his excitement. I sighed. I have once again managed to hurt the only constant good thing in my life. I'm kind of waiting for the day when Jacob wakes up and realizes that he can do better than me. Maybe he'll imprint…he'll find someone who would treat him the way he needed to be treated.

I vowed to myself right then that I would treat him well from now on. I would talk to him about whatever it was that was bothering me rather than running from him. I would make him happy to be with me, not hurt him anymore.

Maybe it wasn't the best idea to come to the beach on Christmas Eve. All through Forks and La Push was a thick ever growing blanket of snow. It was so thick, in fact, that my trusty old truck…stopped. I was stranded at the edge of La Push, in the middle of a snowstorm.

I had only limited options.

I knew that I had be at least a little over the treaty line, so I was maybe a ten minute walk from Jacobs house…which, taking in my clumsiness and the cold, means that I'm really thirty minutes away. I'd freeze before I got there. I could open my door and start calling for Jacob, he would hear me with his supersensitive hearing…but I as feel like an idiot. Or, I could sit here, in my warm truck and pray that someone will find me.

While the latter seemed like a perfect idea…I knew that the truck would die all together if I kept it running. I looked out into the white storm, apprehensively. I was only wearing a sweater and a small jacket, no gloves, ear muffs, hat…I'd be a Bella popsicle the second I stepped out. But I knew I couldn't just sit here. So… took a deep breath, relishing in the warm air for the last time, and forced the rusty door open.

I gasped as a rush of frosty air hit me with an unbelievable force. Bad idea. I knew it was bad idea, but…I stepped out of the warm cab. I gingerly grounded my feet, refusing to allow myself to fall as I shut the door. Wrapping my arms around me, trying to conserve whatever body heat I had, I began my trek through the cold white abyss, hoping that Jacobs house was closer than I thought.

I don't know how long I was walking, the wind cutting through my outer layers like sharp icicles. It seemed years ago that my truck disappeared behind me, leaving me all alone in the blinding white. That's all there was. White, everywhere. There was no telling if I was any closer to my destination, all landmarks were lost in the white. I could be going in circles for all I knew, forever stranded in the freezing white. Sometime during my trek the tiny trembles that wracked through my body turned into severe seizures. I could no longer feel my extremities, my eyes were burning from strain and the wind.

I've never been this frozen before. The only other time I was in a snow storm, I was shielded by a tent and had my own space heater to keep me warm. God, I'd give all my toes up for Jacob to be here!

I was fighting storm, praying that I was almost there…when my foot slipped on a concealed piece of ice. I was falling for maybe one second, but in the one second, I knew that the moment I hit the ground, I was doomed. I knew that the snow would engulf me, the cold would be too much and I wouldn't be able to get back up.

But I never hit the ground. I wasn't suddenly surrounded by wet cold snow. Instead, I was caught in a pair of burning arms, and immediately hoisted against his bare chest. I wanted to cry in relief as I breathed in Jacob's scent, his heat washing over me, already melting the popsicle that was me. He didn't say anything, probably more intent on getting out of the storm than yelling at me. I clutched myself tighter to him as he began running, pulling myself more into his warmth.

It was unbelievable how quickly he got to his house, either I was close or he was just really fast. He entered the house briskly, a whole new wave of warmth hitting me, and immediately carried me to the back, to his room. Jacob gingerly but quickly laid me on his bed, before his unzipped my jacket and pulled the wet thing off of me, only to reveal my equally soaked sweater.

"Bells...you won't get warm with that on…" he tried to explain to me quietly. I barely heard him, the sound of my chattering teeth drowning out his voice. There was a beat of silence before I felt his burning fingers brush against the bare skin of my stomach. I felt his flaming hands peel the soaking wet sweater off of my body, which seemed to only make me colder. The moment I was liberated from the sweater, Jacob pulled me to his chest, wrapping his arms around me, and even going as far as to hitch his leg over my hip.

And even then, with my bra clad chest against his complete bare chest, I was still frozen. Even though Jakes burning self was completely wrapped around me, I was still shivering violently.

Jake growled lowly in his chest, before pulling my face up to his, pressing his lips firmly against mine. His lips were a sweet relief against my icy ones. I could feel myself warming up under them, his warm lips melting mine, his hot breath warming me up from the inside out. I managed to pull my arms from between us and wrapped them around his neck, pulling him closer to me, trying to gather as much heat from his lips as possible.

He rolled us over, pressing his overheated body against me, breaking the kiss only to let me breath, moving to warm up my neck. The temperature of the room was rising around us quickly. Jacob pressed his lips against mine again. This was more than just saving me from freezing, this was a reunion. I haven't kissed Jacob in two weeks, I've barely seen him in that time. I haven't felt his warm body against mine, haven't felt his fiery fingers entangle in my hair, I haven't felt him in so long.

I wrapped my legs around his waist, allowing him to settle in closer to me.

"Your jeans are wet." he murmured against my lips. I smiled.

"I won't get warm." Jacob pulled away and looked at me. I could see disbelief and excitement in his eyes. "I'm just saying….Survival 101 right?" He smiled, exultant, before pulling me in for another scorching kiss. I smiled as the passionate flames grew around us. This was right. Me and Jake locked in our own fiery embrace…this was right. This was where I wanted to be.

A/N: Hey guys! I have a proposition for you guys. Since UIL One Act Play has started, I have ZERO free time. So I can't just sit down and think "i'm bored, I'm going to write". BUT! I do have time to BRIBE you guys! :D If I get 10 reviews, I will update THIS week (Tues. Wed. Thurs. or Fri.) if I don't...you'll most likely have to wait until Sunday or later. Just saying, if you wanna hear what happens next...press the button! :DD