Author's Note: Sorry for spamming anyone who has me on author alert, but I couldn't wait to post this, lol! This is the first full length, post-movie story idea I've had for AiW and I've been working on it for a while now before actually posting. The story is loosely based on my favorite song Trainwreck by Demi Lovato.

Pairings & Warnings: Possibly going to be a little on the dark side later on in the story since this is about the madness that stands between Alice and Tarrant. Thus it is Hatter/Alice.

Disclaimer: By now everyone should know that anyone posting on FFN probably doesn't own anything they are writing about. I don't even claim to know if this plot, any of the specific details, etc. have already been used somewhere in this vast section as I haven't read everything. So, my apologies if you feel I have stolen something from you. I promise it was unintentional! I do not own rights to the song, Trainwreck or any of its lyrics which are used as some titles and/or alluded to within the text of this story.

Chapter 1

Falling Like I've Never Fell Before

The sky wasn't overcast anymore, the clearing had brightened significantly, Time was still ticking for him, and his dearest friends were able to laugh and throw things with reckless abandon, but the chair beside Tarrant was still empty and so he could enjoy none of it. Every moment that passed made his reason falter a little bit more. Tarrant was beginning to remember why he had taken to killing Time in the first place. It wasn't so much the insufferable wait as it was the insufferable awareness of each moment passing by never to be gotten back.

However, Tarrant had determined not to go killing Time again. She had told him she would be back before he knew it and he wanted to prove he believed her. Of course, the longer it took, the harder it was to keep a sane outlook on the situation. Doubt was beginning to creep in and take hold once again and this alone made him even angrier because on the one hand he didn't want to doubt her (although some doubt had been there from the moment he'd told her she wouldn't remember him) and on the other hand he was afraid he would never see her again.

Mally turned her head to look at her friend just in time to see the color of his eyes change from green to yellow. She quickly scurried down the length of the three tables until she reached him. "Hatter, you have to stop thinking about her." The feisty little dormouse betrayed her tender side, the side of her that hated to see Tarrant suffering and also hated that it was because he was pining for someone she could never be.

"I can't, Mally," Tarrant shook his head, regretting just a little that he couldn't be a better friend to her. "I'll never be able to stop thinking about her."

Mally thought a moment, not yet giving up. She decided to try a different approach. "She said she'd be back didn't she? Don't be so impatient, Hatta'. She'd at least want you to enjoy yourself in the meantime." Mally scurried back to her seat, pretending to be indifferent towards the subject.

All the while Thackery was watching on as he shook from the anxiety this solemn mood caused him. "T-t-tea," Thackery held up his cup with a shaky hand.

Tarrant sighed very loudly before nodding his head. "You're right. Alice would want…" Suddenly, his expression changed again. It was so curious, not even Mally could be certain what had come over him as she hadn't seen it before. It didn't seem like madness. "Alice?"

Mally turned to look towards the woods, Thackery following her lead, but there was nothing or no one there. She then turned her attention back towards the Hatter as he stood to his feet so quickly that his chair toppled over behind him. Perhaps it was a fit of madness after all. "Hatta'!" Mally called out, hoping to stop him, but it had no effect.

Instead, Tarrant took off running as fast as he could into the woods, leaving his confused and anxious friends behind him. "Where is he going?" Thackery asked Mally simply, any trace of anxiety gone as though nothing strange had just happened.

"I don't know," Mally stared into the woods, the blur of Tarrant's orange hair now completely gone from sight. "But I mean to find out." With that, Mally leaped from the table and hurried into the woods after their mad friend.

Thackery looked around, ears twitching for several moments before they stopped and his eyes widened. "Alone at last," he said as he reached out and picked up a spoon and held it at arm's length.

Mally was alone as well, no sign of Tarrant anywhere. She had never realized Tarrant could be so quick on his feet. Or, at least, she thought she was alone. "What has gotten into Tarrant?" The Chesire Cat's head appeared as the little mouse wandered aimlessly through the forest, wondering which direction her friend had gone.

"Chess!" she squeaked angrily at him. She despised the fact that he always showed up when least expected. Just like a feline, she thought in annoyance before realizing he had mentioned Tarrant. "Wait, have you seen him then?"

"Seen him?" Chessur's full body finally emerged and he looked at her with less of a smirk than he normally would. He seemed genuinely curious about what was going on. "I barely had time to evaporate. He came charging through here like an angry Bandersnatch."

"Well, did you see which direction he went or didn't you?" Mally couldn't care less if Chessur had nearly gotten pummeled by Tarrant. All she cared about at the moment was figuring out how to find Tarrant before he did any real damage in his peculiar state.

"Perhaps," Chess said lazily as his playful nature returned. "But I see no reason why I should tell you."

"How about if I stick your eye out?" Mally put a hand on her tiny, makeshift sword.

"Hardly an incentive," Chessur answered before evaporating.

Mally walked on stubbornly for a few moments before realizing she desperately needed to find a way to get the cat to tell her which direction she should go. "Listen, Chess, if you can hear me," she was almost certain he was still floating around somewhere nearby. "I really need to find Hatter. I don't know what's come over him. He just rushed off from the tea party without so much as another word, but Alice."

"Alice?" Chessur reappeared all at once. "Well, that changes things then doesn't it?" He eyed her carefully, not sure what to make of the situation. If Tarrant's mind was suddenly bent on Alice, Chess knew there was no telling what might happen.

"Now you see why I have to catch him," Mally looked at him impatiently.

Chessur was about to tell her what he knew when McTwisp came bounding through the woods in a very frantic manner. Chess couldn't hold back a laugh as Mally was now the one nearly pummeled. "I'm late! Dreadfully late!" Nivens exclaimed. There would be no stopping the white rabbit at the speed he moved.

Mally found her footing again and looked at the Chesire Cat. "Clearly, we are missing something very important." Chessur disappeared before reappearing several yards ahead. "I don't know about you, but I would like to find out."

"What do you think I've been trying to do!" Mally snapped angrily before running to catch up with him.

After running for miles, only stopping every now and then very briefly, Tarrant finally slowed down to a brisk walk in order to steady his bearings. His feet somehow knew the path they wanted, no, needed to take, but they had not bothered giving him any warning and now he was ready to figure out where he was. Tarrant looked around curiously as he couldn't recall the last time he had been this far past the Underland crossing, at least on this particular path. As he moved a little further, he thought he saw a large gate of some sort peering through the trees. Was he near Underland's Room of Doors?

Suddenly, Tarrant's feet threatened to pick up their pace again as something within him stirred once more. He held his breath as he sprinted towards the gate, but then stopped as he heard a voice that was hauntingly familiar. "So there I was aboard the ship when who should appear, but Absolem. I could hardly believe it. He visited me at least a dozen times on my journey. Don't tell him I told you, but I think he was just a little afraid I had forgotten." There was a chorus of gasps and "oh's" followed by a small laugh. Tarrant spun around quickly to see the only person who could ever have that laugh.

There she was. She seemed to be in a world of her own as she conversed with the flowers. She looked like a dream, wearing a blue -that could only be described as a right-proper Alice blue- dress with a white silk sash around her waist and her hair let down in untamed curls as best suited her. Wait, was he dreaming? Tarrant knew he couldn't bear it if he was, as she seemed so close and so real.

However, before he had a chance to wake up, he saw her demeanor suddenly change. With a furrowed brow, she turned her head towards him. Then, a large smile overtook her face as she jumped to her feet. Tarrant mentally noted she was her normal size, proof she must have brought the Upelkuchen with her through the door and eaten a bit.

"Hatter!" She started to close the gap between them quickly.

Her voice and sudden movement tore Tarrant from his reverie and he realized it wasn't a dream after all. "Alice!" He couldn't control himself and ran the rest of the distance there was left. One hand touched her shoulder, the other one a few strands of hair, as though he was trying to prove she was as real as his heart told him she was, before he finally found both of her hands and held onto them like a giddy school-boy. "Alice, you're back! That means you remembered! You remembered Underland, and me, and…the Upelkuchen! You're the right-proper Alice size and…"

Before Tarrant's madness could get any further, the gap between himself and Alice closed entirely as their lips met at the same moment, both having lost all control now that they were together (and height-compatible) again. They didn't seem to notice the round of murmurs coming from the flowers or the skid of McTwisp's paws on the dirt followed by a surprised "Oh my." In fact, for all either of the two knew, maybe one – or both – of them was dreaming.

There was nothing in Underland that could break the spell that had bewitched the Hatter or Champion. Nothing, that is, except the simultaneous, "Hatter!" from a dormouse and "Alice!" from a Cheshire Cat.

The sound of their names caused Alice and Tarrant to break apart and turn towards the others around them in confusion. Everything seemed a little hazy and scattered, but eventually they realized what had happened. Alice quickly moved away from Tarrant and towards her friends, excited to see them again and also not ready focus her attention on what had just taken place - in front of an audience no less. "Mally! Chess! McTwisp!"

"Don't you Mally me!" Mallymkun was not in the mood for a subject change and neither was Chessur for that matter, but McTwisp broke in nonetheless.

"The White Queen is waiting to see you," Nivens said in a dignified manner, not at all wanting to think anymore about what he had just witnessed. "I see you managed to make it here all on your own this time." The White Rabbit clasped his paws together a bit nervously. "That's very good news. I'm afraid I was late in coming to get you."

"Somehow I just knew it was time to come back," Alice smiled warmly, looking at Tarrant first before turning her gaze back to everyone else. "But I really hope this doesn't mean I have another Jabberwocky to slay," she said jokingly.

"No, none of that." McTwisp didn't even like hearing the foul beast mentioned. He shuddered a bit before starting back towards the direction he had come. "Her majesty awaits." Nivens knew Queen Mirana was patient, but he had already been late once and was not going to make a habit of it. Thus, the small group set out towards Marmoreal.

At first the journey was filled with a strange silence. It didn't seem right to Alice that she should be back in Underland, the most wonderful place she had ever been, and yet not saying a word to any of her closest friends. So, she was the first to speak. "What have you all been up to while I was away?"

"I've been hard at work with the White Queen as she works towards restoring Underland to its former glory," McTwisp spoke proudly with great admiration. It was the kind of job that would seemingly be too much for the skittish creature to handle, but he did it well. Alice smiled as her mind wandered across the parts of Underland she had already seen. She wondered how they must all look now that Queen Mirana was ruler again.

"Her majesty offered me a position as royal feline," Chessur answered the question, although his tone came across as disinterested. "I come and go as I please so I suppose nothing has changed." Alice knew it was true that Chessur could never be considered a pet. He was tame, yet feral. Nothing could stop him from doing whatever he pleased, even if deep down it pleased him to be around those he secretly called friends.

"Tea and gallymoggers," Mally answered shortly with a huff. She was still not past everything that had happened. Even if she had to deal with the fact that Tarrant and Alice had kissed, Mally felt like she deserved a straight explanation from one or the other.

"I see," Alice didn't press further, but mostly because she had a sudden vision of a mad tea party. It was one of the things, if not the thing she had missed more than anything about Underland. Well, maybe it was more than the tea party. She had a pretty good idea it had to do with the person who sat at the head of the tea tables. As her thoughts turned towards Tarrant, so did her attention. "What about you?" She was more anxious for his answer than any other. After all, she could not forget the sadness of their last meeting. She wanted more than anything for him to have been happy while she was gone.

"Her majesty offered me my old position as royal milliner," Tarrant answered solemnly.

Alice was just a bit worried by his tone. "Has it been good working at your trade again?" she asked hopefully.

"He wouldn't know," Mallmkun answered before Tarrant could. "He only worked for the queen for about a week before he gave up the position." Mally then looked up towards Alice quite angrily. "Not that you would know since you off and left him."

"MALLY!" Tarrant's mind was flooded with irrational thoughts as his eyes flickered to a light orange. Things might have taken a turn for the worse for the poor dormouse, even if she knew she had been asking for it, had not Alice reached out her hand to stop Tarrant in his tracks.

"What does she mean you gave up the position?" Alice held his arm firmly as they stood there. Her eyes searched his for an answer. "No one else can be hatter to the White Queen, but you. I don't understand."

"I couldn't do it," Tarrant dropped his head in shame, unable to find the courage to look into her eyes any longer. "I just couldn't do it, Alice."

Before he had dropped his head, Alice had seen the overwhelming sadness in Tarrant's eyes. It was the same sadness that had haunted her since she'd last left Underland. She struggled to find a way to respond, but it was as though his pain stole the very muchness inside of her. She finally released his arm and they returned to following after the others. The entire party continued in silence until nightfall came and they all decided it would be best to stop.

Once the others had settled down for the night, Alice managed to sneak away from the group, nearly undetected. She wasn't tired and the day's events, one moment in particular, occupied her mind. Tarrant, who had immediately noticed she was gone, found her standing on her own away from the small clearing they had chosen to make camp at. A part of him knew she probably wanted to be alone, but another part of him needed to see that she was okay. "I'm sorry," he whispered as he came closer.

"Sorry?" Alice had heard him coming and so wasn't too startled when his voice broke the silence. "For what?"

"I upset you." Tarrant's eyes were dark as he desperately fought the thoughts trying to cloud his reason. Knowing he had upset Alice made him angry at himself. "You deserve a joyous welcoming and instead I…"

"Don't talk like that," Alice scolded, but not too harshly. "I'm the one who should be sorry. Mally was right. How could I have known not to bring up your job as hatter?" Alice bit her lip as she stared off into the distance, not really seeing the scenery. "I never wanted to cause you pain…again," she barely whispered the last part.

Tarrant looked at her, before looking off into the distance as well. "It only hurt to tell you because I thought you would think less of me." It was no easy thing to admit. It wasn't that Tarrant wasn't certain of how he felt about Alice, but he was afraid of not being good enough for her.

Alice quickly turned her gaze towards him, not liking how the light had fallen from his eyes. "Hatt…" she stopped, swallowing hard before continuing. "Tarrant, I could never think less of you. I only wanted to know why you quit. I wanted to make sure it wasn't my fault. I want to help," she turned and placed her hands on his forearms gently.

Tarrant stared at her in a stupor. The sound of his name, his real name, coming from Alice had sounded perfect. It had the ability to drive away his insanity and his eyes returned to their healthy green. "It's not your fault," he smiled for a moment before it disappeared again. "It was too hard. There were too many memories."

"Of your family," it wasn't really a question, but a statement of knowing. "That must have been very difficult for you."

"I wanted to be hatter to the White Queen again," Tarrant continued. "I still do. A Hightopp has always been employed at court. I'm letting down my clan." Before he had a chance to stop it, his madness boiled up inside of him and his eyes began growing towards a fiery orange.

Alice was glad she was in a position to see it as she moved her hands from his arms to his cheeks; she was grateful this time her hands weren't twice the size of his head. "Do you remember what the White Queen told me on Frabjous Day? You cannot live your life to please other people. You cannot live to please your family, Mally, the Queen…" Alice paused, wondering if she should be so bold as to finish her thought. "Not even me," she relented before letting her hands fall back to her sides. "And who said anything about my welcome not being joyous?" She decided to change the subject, hoping to prove she wasn't bent on him doing something he wasn't comfortable with.

"Well, I…the silence…and you seemed so…and…" Tarrant fumbled for a reasonable answer.

"And you," Alice finished, her tone a positive one. "You were there to meet me. Nothing could have been better. I dreamed so many times of coming back, but never once did you come and find me," Alice admitted before a thoughtful expression came over her. "How did you know to come find me? Did McTwisp send you?"

In his excitement over Alice being back, Tarrant had not given it much thought. "I don't know," he said shyly. "Nobody sent me. It was the oddest thing, really," he started to recall the events that had unfolded much earlier. "I was sitting at tea with Mally and Thackery and not quite enjoying it as much as I should have because you were not there at the time and I…"

"Tarrant," Alice said patiently despite her anxiousness for him to finish his story.

"Thank you," Tarrant shook his head and gathered himself again. "So there I was when all of a sudden I had the strangest feeling come over me. I had been feeling quite lonely as I missed you a great deal while you were away." Alice felt her heartbeat quicken a little as he spoke. She wasn't sure if she should feel guilty or happy about the direction the tale had taken. "But then, the loneliness vanished!"

"Vanished?" Alice echoed, not sure what to assume just yet.

"Entirely," Tarrant nodded. "At first it confused me, but then before I knew what was happening, my thoughts were screaming your name and my feet found a mind of their own." Tarrant looked thoughtful for a moment as he continued to recall what had happened and how perfect he had felt the closer he had gotten to Alice. At the time he hadn't been certain why his mood had changed, but now he understood. "I don't know how, but I knew you were back."

Alice felt her breath hitch in her throat as she thought about what Tarrant had said. "You knew?" She wanted to be positive she had heard him right and that her mind hadn't just imagined it.

"I knew," Tarrant's answer sent a chill down both of their spines.

Alice wondered how she had ever managed to leave him before. "I missed you a great deal too." She intertwined her fingers with his before their lips met in another perfect kiss. And this time there was no dormouse or cat to interrupt.

Alright, so I know a whole heck of a lot happened in just the first chapter as far as Tarrant/Alice goes, but it had to be this way to drive the rest of the story. Plus, if you listen to the song or have ever heard it, you'll know that it starting this way won't guarantee a smooth ride ;) And omg 4000 words, I seriously can't gauge length! Future chapters probably will most definitely be shorter.